My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years and have two living children ages 5 and 2. When we first got married he was a Sunday school teacher in our church; but now, he hasn't been to chruch except 2 or 3 times in more than 6 months. His attendance has been spotty ever since our 5yo was born. We used to pray together. Now he flat out refuses to read the Bible or pray with me. When we first got married and I got frustrated with something, he would literally hide from me. As time passed he started yelling back and breaking things. 2 years ago he slapped a remote against my arm hard enough that I had a sore spot for a couple days. This was the first time he had done anything to me directly. Now it has escalated to him outright punching me in the face when he is mad. This last time I didn't think he was going to stop. I am so scared right now. I have no one to turn to because all my friends are to busy with thier own lives to talk. He says he is sorry and won't do it again, but I do not know if I can trust him. I have no money and no where to go. I do not want to leave him, I want him to change, and be the godly husband he told me he was going to be when we got married. He says it's all my fault. That if the house wasn't dirty he wouldn't get mad. If I wasn't so lazy and more obedient, and didn't trigger him so much he wouldn't hit me. (I had a laundry basket in my hands and he said I had a "weapon" so he had to defend himself). He refuses counseling because he says we are fine and don't need it. I don't know what to do any more. Part of thinks I am at fault and if I was a better housekeeper (the house is messy with two little kids around) and better cook he would stop. I can't sleep, can't stop crying, my stomach has been in knots and upset for three days now. I am stuck.