Toxic fam members

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Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
17,368
1,812
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#26
Hi Gabzie I know all to well about toxic family memebers and I had to live with them to actually I still have to live with them but what I couldn't have with my family I found here in cc. My family didn't understand me they never listened to anything I said and if I expressed how I felt to them they would call me a baby I felt uncared about lonely and unloved I even often would imagine what it would be like to have an loving mother. I had a mom but she wasn't a mother if you know what I mean but here in cc I met many people who understood me I was able to speak whatever was on my heart without fear of ridicule I made many friends who cared about me and I even was given not one but two loving moms on here who both are great treasures to me.

So for me personally being on Christian is the greatest joy, I love music so I listen to christian music as I spend my time on here and not only do I get to enjoy being on here but I continue to grow closer to God as I do. I have never had a better family than everyonehere in cc and everything I never had in my life I was given here and I hope you will find and have that here to the fullest just as I did because remember blood isn't what makes a family:giggle:
 
Apr 2, 2020
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#28
Hey Magneta <3
Firstly, I'd like to thank you for this information. I new that I went through stuff but learning about it, makes me realize how real this is. I feel validated but also encouraged to learn more and trust in God to help me. To learn more tools to heal too.

Codependency as much as it hurts to say, is me. It makes so much sense as to why I'd hold on to and attract toxic friendships. I longed for love even if it hurt.
You know, the painful emotions pointed makes me think of how hard it is to be kind to myself. In an atmosphere where I'm being emotionally abused, I'd reinforce being mean, harsh, critical and just plain abusive to myself. I knew no other way of treating myself.
All glory to God. The Lord's words about me, are helping me see the truth and who I am in Christ. All it's still a journey seeing that what I was told is the opposite to who Jesus says I am.

In all honesty, I too was toxic. I would be toxic to combat the toxic. I thought the more dominating I was and confident and arrogant - the more my family's behaviour wouldn't affect me.
I only hurt my friends and family.

Jesus has helped me in December holidays to be kind and not have to put up a confident wall , when I wasn't actually confident.

Overall, I'm grateful for you.

Much love x
 
Apr 2, 2020
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34
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#29
Sorry about the toxic family environment. I would follow the counsel of Demi777. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
Thank you so much x
It's so nice here. You all are so sweet
 
Apr 2, 2020
40
34
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#32
Welcome to CC, Gabzie...
If you haven't read the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend, I highly recommend it.
Owww, thank you sm. I'll definitely read the book.
I'm learning to have boundaries and it's hard.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#33
Welcome to CC, Gabzie...
If you haven't read the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend, I highly recommend it.

very good book

a little clinical, but that adds weight to it IMO
 
Apr 2, 2020
40
34
18
#34
Hi Gabzie I know all to well about toxic family memebers and I had to live with them to actually I still have to live with them but what I couldn't have with my family I found here in cc. My family didn't understand me they never listened to anything I said and if I expressed how I felt to them they would call me a baby I felt uncared about lonely and unloved I even often would imagine what it would be like to have an loving mother. I had a mom but she wasn't a mother if you know what I mean but here in cc I met many people who understood me I was able to speak whatever was on my heart without fear of ridicule I made many friends who cared about me and I even was given not one but two loving moms on here who both are great treasures to me.

So for me personally being on Christian is the greatest joy, I love music so I listen to christian music as I spend my time on here and not only do I get to enjoy being on here but I continue to grow closer to God as I do. I have never had a better family than everyonehere in cc and everything I never had in my life I was given here and I hope you will find and have that here to the fullest just as I did because remember blood isn't what makes a family:giggle:
Dear blain x
Firstly, thank you so so much for being open and telling me your story. I am praying for you that the Lord may strengthen you in reminding us that this is happening for us and not to us.
I'm so grateful for cc. It's definitely bringing me closer to Him through you all.

Everything you have said is relating to me. Today I just wanted to back a bag and leave. Scary part is, I'm studying rn but it's like - why. I feel as tho I'm wasting my time and space because I'm not living in my calling. But what is my calling.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
17,368
1,812
113
#35
Well for the time being I would suggest staying only because this virus that is sweeing the nation will be less likely to infect you if you are around less strangers but as for your calling God will reveal it in time. To being with what do you enjoy doing? For me I am a writer at heart even before I was saved as a child I could make people cry with my stories it just seems to come to me naturally and when I write that is when I am able to speak my heart the best. God has used this quite often with me especially when I am on Christian chat whether that be the poems I write or just when I am chatting and talking on here, I also am an emotional sensitive person so I am able to pour those feelings into the words I write and impact hearts I have seen him use me to inspire encourage strengthen and even heal hearts using all these qualities and honestly as a believer that is what I love seeing him use me for the most,I cannot say for sure if this is my calling or not I simply follow my heart and he guides me.

If you examine your traits and what you love to do that may very well be the path to finding your calling or on the other hand sometimes things are revealed to us from other believers after all we rarely ever truly see ourselves through our own eyes often times it takes the eyes of another person to see the things about us that we cannot.
 

Prycejosh1987

Active member
Jul 19, 2020
955
165
43
#36
Distance yourself
I dont know if this is a good idea. I believe we should always talk to them when we can after all we grew up with them. I have toxic family myself. But i still love them and wish good on them and pray for them. I am not keen on actually visiting them though.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,804
1,871
113
Germany
#37
I dont know if this is a good idea. I believe we should always talk to them when we can after all we grew up with them. I have toxic family myself. But i still love them and wish good on them and pray for them. I am not keen on actually visiting them though.
Theres a difference between distancing and rejecting. Just because u distance yourself doesnt mean you dont talk at all. I still say distancing is a good thing