Unconditional Love?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#1
In a marriage, or relationship, what is unconditional love?
 

Seedz

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2017
654
55
28
#2
In a marriage, or relationship, what is unconditional love?
Just like Jesus died for everybody knowing many would reject him, we are to love without expecting anything back in return.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
5,363
769
113
#3
In a marriage, or relationship, what is unconditional love?
To answer your question directly, "unattainable". As fallen humans, we will never love perfectly, without conditions.

Paul described the love of God in 1 Corinthians 13. That is the standard of love to which we aspire. It is impossible to exhibit such love on human strength alone. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit can we give God's kind of love to another human.

In practical terms, unconditional love means continuing to act in love towards another person regardless of how they treat you; when they are loving, kind, thoughtful, generous, sacrificial, patient and encouraging, you love them. When they are forgetful, hateful, indifferent, sick, sinful, unfaithful, aggressive, and abusive, you love them. When they can do nothing for you, good or bad, you love them.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,665
635
113
#4
I agree with Dino. Humans are imperfect. As is their love. As humans our love has a breaking point. It may be very high for some, but it's there.
But to love unconditionally is simply never loving them less, no matter what. Unconditional love is Not making yourself a doormat or a victim. God loved Jesus unconditionally yet still turned His back on him when it was needed.
Unconditional love is not easy to give because it requires selflessness and the ability to do what's right, even when it hurts.
My love is nowhere near perfect, but I love my ex-gf. She felt she had to end things for reasons outside of our relationship. I want to show up at her door and say I'm not leaving and we'll work it out (romantically not creepy stalker haha)
But she needs what she needs. No matter how much it hurts I have to leave her alone.

It seems like you have something specific in mind and are being vague. Difficulty in that is we all will answer through the filter of our experiences and that may not be a reflection on what you're contending with. If you need advice, just ask. It's much easier than vague questions you hope the answers to will magically apply.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,684
481
83
25
#6
Everyone has their "personal views"as to what "unconditional love is" biblically it is "helping others" regardless of how they've treated you,and "caring" for others even when they don't care for you.
It really is the toughest thing to even come close in one having it and sharing it,however it seems more "plausible" for someone to express when they are around someone they genuinely care for but even then it's tough because as time goes on people can change,or push you away,a relationship or marriage I gather would be either easier or tougher to express such love depending upon circumstances.
 

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#7
...In practical terms, unconditional love means continuing to act in love towards another person regardless of how they treat you;...
Is not an act a pretense, not real, but just an appearance. If so, then that is conditional. It is saying 'I will act lovingly in the hope you will act lovingly in return'.

...(W)hen they are loving, kind, thoughtful, generous, sacrificial, patient and encouraging, you love them.
When they are forgetful, hateful, indifferent, sick, sinful, unfaithful, aggressive, and abusive, you love them.
When they can do nothing for you, good or bad, you love them.
In each scenario given, what is it that you love?
 

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#9
Everyone has their "personal views"as to what "unconditional love is" biblically it is "helping others" regardless of how they've treated you,and "caring" for others even when they don't care for you.
It really is the toughest thing to even come close in one having it and sharing it,however it seems more "plausible" for someone to express when they are around someone they genuinely care for but even then it's tough because as time goes on people can change,or push you away,a relationship or marriage I gather would be either easier or tougher to express such love depending upon circumstances.
What part of you do you want others to care about?
 

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#10
Just like Jesus died for everybody knowing many would reject him, we are to love without expecting anything back in return.
What are you loving without expecting anything in return?
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
5,363
769
113
#11
Is not an act a pretense, not real, but just an appearance. If so, then that is conditional. It is saying 'I will act lovingly in the hope you will act lovingly in return'.
I emphasized "act" not as in pretense, but as in action (behaviour) rather than mere sentiment or verbal expression.

In each scenario given, what is it that you love?[/QUOTE]

As I said, you love them... the other person(s). You love the person, by acting in a manner consistent with loving them.
 

stand2

Senior Member
Dec 6, 2017
289
20
18
#12
I must try not to ramble.....Love, like people, is as different to one or the other as petals of a flower. It can vary in degree or intensity. Ideally it grows stronger over time especially when it is shared. True love withstands all adversity and "knows no bounds." It is genuine and beyond scrutiny. Unconditional love is all these and more. It is always given openly and without reservation regardless of distance, time, circumstances or situations. And the hardest part of all, it is everlasting (even unto death). This is the short version......​lol
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
23,391
1,344
113
#13
Everyone has their "personal views"as to what "unconditional love is" biblically it is "helping others" regardless of how they've treated you,and "caring" for others even when they don't care for you.
It really is the toughest thing to even come close in one having it and sharing it,however it seems more "plausible" for someone to express when they are around someone they genuinely care for but even then it's tough because as time goes on people can change,or push you away,a relationship or marriage I gather would be either easier or tougher to express such love depending upon circumstances.
It is rendered conditional if it is predicated on someone you already care about... I had this discussion with an atheist once, he believing that he was greater than God because he could love unconditionally, yet the condition existed that he was only capable of such with those he cared about. When I pointed out to him that if he had to care about someone before he could "unconditionally love" them, then it was no longer unconditional, he got really angry at me. I gather he was rather attached to his idea that he was greater than God in some way :)
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,684
481
83
25
#14
It is rendered conditional if it is predicated on someone you already care about... I had this discussion with an atheist once, he believing that he was greater than God because he could love unconditionally, yet the condition existed that he was only capable of such with those he cared about. When I pointed out to him that if he had to care about someone before he could "unconditionally love" them, then it was no longer unconditional, he got really angry at me. I gather he was rather attached to his idea that he was greater than God in some way :)
Very good point I suppose I should have worded that "continual love" can be tougher or easier once married or in a relationship,because though it's rather "implied" in such relations unconditional love isn't always "considered" in this modern age whether married or in some ordinary relations such as being a loving parent,relative,or friend,it's easy to "say" or "assume" one "cares for family or others" but their heart could be uncaring,"unconditional love" is very rare if not impossible perhaps,but always good to strive to be "selfless" wherever possible,but thankfully under Jesus's grace and through the holy spirit we can have "help" being more "caring" and "selfless".
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
18,601
1,131
113
#15
this song goes here.

[video=youtube;bTAvmR9VWxw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTAvmR9VWxw[/video]

so ((in case you don't)) you can at least say the words melodiously :)
 
Feb 5, 2017
1,119
34
0
#16
Unconditional = without conditions, non-conditional, un-conditional.

I love you even though, I love you even if, I love you regardless of, I love you equally. Unconditional statements

I love you when, I love you because, I love you if, I love you but. Conditional statements - people get these confused with unconditional.

A mother loves her child, but more so than other children, because it is her child - Conditional love

If you really want to know what unconditional love is look at Jesus. How much do you sacrifice your 'self' compared to running from situations that might affect your 'self'. Condition: as long as it doesn't affect me. To get to the extreme point of unconditional love, what would you do if you were about to be crucified, and you could either run away and forget about it, or it was God's will and you were meant to?

Maybe the whole version of events with Jesus' death are to show what true selflessness is, that even in great fear, we can do God's will. (When we fear that is when we are tested as to our religious beliefs) Would you do that for all the billions of people in this world?

Condition: I love people who have Christian values more than those who don't.
Condition: I love x, but I don't love y.

Unconditional: I love people equally, and do not define my love for people based on my judgement of them first.
Unconditional: If I see something I do not like, or maybe hate, then it is only love which can fix it, not my judgement.

Judgement is very much the enemy of unconditional love.
 

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#17
As I said, you love them... the other person(s). You love the person, by acting in a manner consistent with loving them.
Then when a person is...
... forgetful, hateful, indifferent, sick, sinful, unfaithful, aggressive, and abusive, you love them...
...what is it in a person you love?
 

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#18
I must try not to ramble.....Love, like people, is as different to one or the other as petals of a flower. It can vary in degree or intensity. Ideally it grows stronger over time especially when it is shared. True love withstands all adversity and "knows no bounds." It is genuine and beyond scrutiny. Unconditional love is all these and more. It is always given openly and without reservation regardless of distance, time, circumstances or situations. And the hardest part of all, it is everlasting (even unto death). This is the short version......​lol
If the love is unconditional, then how can it be _ as I underlined in your quote?
 

Eromonnis

Senior Member
Dec 21, 2017
138
6
0
#19
...Unconditional: If I see something I do not like, or maybe hate, then it is only love which can fix it, not my judgement.

Judgement is very much the enemy of unconditional love.
What is it we judge that makes it conditional?
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,472
443
83
#20
In a marriage, or relationship, what is unconditional love?
Hmmmm... Caring about the happiness of another person without any thought of what you might get for yourself... Do we all love unconditionally if we truly love a person?I guess we do... I still can remember those days when life was so hard...my father will let us eat first and will go hungry if he will see that the food is just enough for us.I can say that my father loves us unconditionally even if we made his head hurts the whole day and yet he still don't want us to go hungry :)


And when my ex cheated on me and I still took him back even if he hurts me so much and forgave him even if he didnt ask for forgiveness.....I don't know if you can call that unconditional love...but for me it is...wanting...loving the same person even if he hurts you a million times...



But I want to know your answer sir... :) you maybe know more about unconditional love
 
Last edited: