What is your dating advice?

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CherieR

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
1,905
1,218
113
#1
Hello, I would like to hear some dating advice. I hope to find the right person for me soon. At times I have felt discouraged. I want to go about dating in the right way that God would be pleased. Any advice?
 

EternalFire

Well-known member
Jan 3, 2019
454
257
63
#2
Don't.

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:2).
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
18,211
10,094
113
#3
Hello, I would like to hear some dating advice. I hope to find the right person for me soon. At times I have felt discouraged. I want to go about dating in the right way that God would be pleased. Any advice?
Seek God's will on the matter first and foremost. Set your boundaries, and refuse to date non-Christians. Think through what you want in a man (and be realistic). Work on improving yourself. Be patient. Enjoy the time you're in now; use it both to prepare yourself and to do things that you won't be able to do once you're married. Spread the word through trusted Christian friends that you're looking... and give some parameters. Above all, guard your heart. :)
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
7,569
7,107
113
#5
Hello, I would like to hear some dating advice. I hope to find the right person for me soon. At times I have felt discouraged. I want to go about dating in the right way that God would be pleased. Any advice?
Some of my Christian friends have met their spouse while doing volunteer work or in a Bible study class at Church. Pray and have the faith like Abraham did;)!
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
6,337
3,443
113
#7
we know He has a perfect plan for each of our lives and we are to find it and walk it out. Are you sure he wants you married? I have heard it taught what we want for ourselves, He wants for us.
Bless you in your quest, I will pray for this with you and for you in Jesus name
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
256
209
43
#9
The more people you date, the more likely you are to find someone fit for marrying.
Does this mean you can date different people at the same time? What if you really like all the persons you date?
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
256
209
43
#10
The more people you date, the more likely you are to find someone fit for marrying.
Someone in another thread said something like this: dating is about hanging out with a friend. Its not about romance. Is this your idea of dating as well?
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,495
660
113
#12
Dating, yes. Being in more than one relationship at once? No. That's out of the question.


Does this mean you can date different people at the same time? What if you really like all the persons you date?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
36,871
14,062
113
#13
Don't.

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,
that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:2).
I was just thinking about this, randomly, more along the lines of contemplating the whys and wherefores people are against unmarrieds giving marriage advice... now I realize it is not Scriptural to say a pastor or church elder should not marry... my considerations went to the fact that some people are quite content to be single, and more suited to serving from the freedom singleness affords. But it was more than that... because a detachment from the near obsession some seem to have of feeling one needs to find someone to complete their life or be ultimately happy... that detachment can see clear through the obstacles and heartache many experience in relationship, and "looking for love." Not directed at anyone in particular...
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
256
209
43
#14
Dating, yes. Being in more than one relationship at once? No. That's out of the question.
But if dating is about romance, how can you date more than one person at a time? And do you tell all the persons you date that they are not the only one?
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
6,882
5,361
113
#15
But if dating is about romance, how can you date more than one person at a time? And do you tell all the persons you date that they are not the only one?
Dating many is like shopping around. I find it off putting.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
3,800
1,863
113
mywebsite.us
#16
Hello, I would like to hear some dating advice. I hope to find the right person for me soon. At times I have felt discouraged. I want to go about dating in the right way that God would be pleased. Any advice?
Don't 'date' - 'court' instead.

Never more than one - focus on one relationship.

Pray. And pray. And pray.

Wait on God - you have to - He can pick your mate better than you can.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,827
951
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#17
I think you may find it draining, a lot. Sucking the life out of you as you pour yourself into the pursuit of a “suitable” individual. This is a question people might consider: Does your list (of who you want) match God’s desire? His will?

You could meet many men, possibly, who meet your criteria and ultimately it is your choice, but have you considered for one second who God would provide for you? Instead of “playing the number’s game” with a process of elimination (draining) what if you waited and focused on delighting in the Lord? And then, in pursuit of God and His will for your life, in God drops the man He has for you?

Now, I know some people are thinking that God can provide that man through the dating process. Maybe, yes. But, you will be filled greatly in pursuit of God instead of a man. And once filled you will be prepared for marriage.

“Why not both?”, you ask. Seek God and seek a man? Well... why would you waste a moment with someone else’s husband? 😳 This is my... issue with dating. If God provides, and He leads, and you ask (for a husband), why would you even consider going through a dating process (usually hurting women and men) instead of just waiting? He’s out for delivery, in God’s timing. Why receive and deal out rejection through dating? And maybe you can do it gracefully, as being incompatible, but for me, waiting for God to reveal her (in my case) made the most sense. To trust Him to provide.

🤷
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,694
4,226
113
#18
dating is outdated.


what you ought to do is have an arranged marriage and get your pastor to do an altar call at church. The first man to rush down the aisle can be your husband. You can be married that day in front of all your congregation and it neednt cost you anything, as you've already set the date.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
11,694
4,226
113
#19
Im sure there was some custom of throwing shoes in the Book of Ruth. but maybe you could just have a foot washing ceremony instead.

I think it would be great fun to watch this courtship unfold.
 

shineyourlight

Senior Member
May 25, 2015
5,958
612
113
#20
- Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
- Shoulder YOUR part, not theirs. If you're shouldering both parts of the dating relationship, it's time to move on.
- You're still worth it, even if they aren't interested in you. Don't put your value into the hands of another.

Read Boundaries in Dating by Henry C. Cloud. I give multiple copies away to my clients, because it's a stance on dating from the Christian perspective and it's sooooo good.