What should we be teaching our kids about sex?

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Aug 2, 2009
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#21
24

Tell them that caring for a baby is just like having to clean your room 20 times a day..

Don't have sex.

Niet.

Oops...that's supposed to be spelled "Nyet", which is russian for "no"..... "Niet" is german for "rivet" :rolleyes:

...And thanks for the rep!! :D
 

Deade

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2017
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#24
Here is my answers.
First, talk to your kids when they start asking questions.
I got all my advice on sex from School, and all they taught is the reproductive system and how it works. Plus how to have safe sex. (They did not discuss morals and ethics of sexual relationships.)
Yes do that, if they are too young it won't matter because they won't understand. Psychologist have found this to be the case. Be sure to expound on your morals and ethics so they know what is expected of them. It will matter to them.

Second Every parent needs to make the decision based on their child. Every one is different, you may need to talk to your boys before you talk to your girls, or you may decide that they need the discussion before most of the other children need the talk.
Indeed, chances are they have already heard quite a lot. You know your child best, but understand they might try to show little or no emotion on charged topics. Sometimes just ask a pertinent question to see if they are following.

A childs age shouldn't matter, it's their maturity you need to worry about.
Every human being develops and matures differently from other people. The parent needs to decide if the child is old enough and mature enough to hear the discussion on the subject.
Yes, see point #1.

Every parent should realize the reason the kids are the way they are is because of what they are taught from a young age, and kids tend to copy things they see. So my advice Mom and dad should live a good Godly life, to be an example to their children, The way mom and dad live, is the pattern kids will take with them into adulthood.
Enough cannot be said about setting the proper example. Your kids learn more from your actions than your words.

No, I don't have experience, I do not have kids but would love to have some, one day.
I can only tell you what the Bible says and give you advice based on my personal experience on the subject.
You are doing fine, I raised 4 (52-38 years of age) and fostered special needs kids in California and Oklahoma.

No only an idiot would send their child to public school, This is based on the fact that school was the beginning of sorrows for me and why I spent half my life with severe depression and suicidal tendencies, It's also part of the reason I have Post traumatic Stress and some what paranoid.

I would not go so far as to call someone an idiot if they could not do otherwise. I would call public school a last resort choice, but many are forced to use them by circumstance.
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
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#25
Hi MissCris,

Great topic, as always! :)

I'm sorry I'm a little late to the party, but I just had to step in and play devil's advocate.

First of all, I've read the posts that say Christians should only send their kids to Christian schools, and I understand why people are saying that, but I'm not sure if some people understand that this might not be possible for a lot of parents.

I went to Lutheran schools K-12th grade, and although my parents were willing to make whatever sacrifices they had to in order to send their kids to Christian schools, most parents would probably want to save the money for their kids' college expenses instead. I think that back "in my day", yearly tuition was around $2500.

I just looked up my old high schools current tuition rates, and it's $5,900 to $6,500 per child, per year. (There is a small discount if you have more than one child in school at a time.)

There was a good reason why my entire high school had only 124 students at the time I attended. Even back then, not many people could, or were willing, to pony up that kind of money just for high school.

One reason why it's so expensive is because the school does not accept money from the government, any other institutions, or public fundraising, so that there are no outside influences on the curriculum. Most of the other Christian schools in the area would accept money from whoever was willing to dish it out.

The other problem was that my high school's curriculum was terribly behind the times because we just didn't have the money for anything modern, and the emphasis was on preparing students to become a Lutheran pastor or teacher. Anyone realizes how useful it would have been to study a language like Spanish, but my school only offered Greek and German. Would you want your child to be able to study computer science? Well, you couldn't have learned anything about that from my high school. We barely had the money to learn basic typing, let alone anything that a computer could actually do.

My younger siblings eventually opted to go to public schools because there were simply more opportunities, and have found successes and opportunities they most likely would have never had if they had not gone to public schools.

I also understand that public schools teach a wide array of things about sex that Christian parents would not want their kids to be exposed to.

But I'm not sure how much better the alternative is either, which, in my case at least, was complete and total silence.

NOTHING about anatomy or sex education was ever whispered about, let alone spoken, by teachers in my schools. I have written this several times on CC, but the general attitude at my school was, "Don't talk about it. Don't think about it. And for heaven's sake, don't ASK us anything about it!"

Girls who accidentally became pregnant in my high school disappeared, because they were asked not to come back. Advertising yourself as a Christian school, and then having pregnant, unmarried young girls walking down the halls--simply put--was bad for business.

Although I am extremely grateful for the sacrifices my parents made to send me to Christian schools, I can tell anyone up front that these experiences left me with a a very bitter aftertaste when it came to the notion of a "Christian education."

I praise God for the Scriptural foundation it gave me.

But I don't agree at all with being taught the creed of "God's great love, mercy, and forgiveness" every single day--and then watching as people whose sins were just more visible than others were being erased, as if they no longer existed.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#26
Have to read others responses when I get time...but here are mine:

How old should a child be when they start learning about sexual topics?

I started when my son was 3 by asking if the girls fought over holding his hand like they did his classmate? Two little girls playing tug of war with a little boy and saying he was THEIR BOYFRIEND.....I found it very distrubing.

How can parents give their kids a firm, Godly understanding of sex and marriage? By example

If you have experience with this, what did you tell your children? Sex should be saved for marriage and it complicates matters with dating.....always ask yourself..would you want to raise kids with this person ?before sleeping with them (is what I told my college friends and probably will tell my kids too when they are older)

Do you think that Christian families should even send their children to public school, given how poorly sexual topics are handled?

Yes public school job isn't to teach them about sex or raise our kids for us. Parents need to step up and teach our kids to be able to discern good from evil and take responsibility for their choices.
 
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Waggles

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2017
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adelaiderevival.com
#27
Pornography corrupts everything
and no matter how many people are raped or harmed
worldly people will not give up pornography to save
future generations from harm

Further we also live in decadent degenerate societies that
gleefully sexualise children in advertising, fashion and entertainment...
Look at all the pretty girls in short school dresses in Japanese anime

[SUB][SUP]
[/SUP][/SUB]
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#28
Unfortunately, there is a lot of people in this country that have no choice but to send their children to public school. They don't have the opportunity to send them to a Christian School or to Home School them. I think you have to be proactive to counteract what they are going to see and hear at a very young age in the hallways of the public school. Just as you teach your child respect and love for one another you are going to have to teach them what the Bible tells them about sex. If they are staying the night at their friends' home and their friends' family is not Christians what are they going to see or hear in those homes? They need to be prepared. Age is not something you can pinpoint it's more about who their friends are and where they are going that will be influencing them.
I don't let them stay at an unchristain home...they can come sleep over here instead....I have to trust the parents before I let my kids stay at there house.
 

PeterJames

Senior Member
Feb 13, 2017
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#29
My parents gave me a book about both boys and girls. I learned everything from the book except the actual marital act; when I learned about that later (on my own, don't ask!) - I realized the reason was the book was trying to get you to put 2 and 2 together without putting 2 and 2 together for you.

For my child, when he was 14-15, I said we need to have the talk. I explained to him about my personal struggles growing up, and then explained to him explicitly but kindly what marital love is. When done, I asked him if he wanted to talk about anything in particular or did he have any questions. Nothing.

And haven't spoken about it since. I know ... deeply spiritual. I guess it was our way.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#30
I am 35 and still never "practice putting on a condom" I would lead a protest if the school taught our girls that....probably even the boys...just not their place.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#31
Hi Cris, ....Well, given the state of today's schools I'm going to pass on all the others and skip right to the last question because it essentially negates all the others. Home school your kids if at all possible. Second choice, a Christian school. As kids get older, they have already become accustomed to the "atmosphere" of public education as well as attached to their peer group. When they hit those "rebellious" years, trying to pull them away from their peer group is like trying to pull a cow through a knothole. Putting your kids in today's public education "system" is like (and I'm sorry to say) throwing them to the wolves.
My kids are in public school but I also develop friends with Christians who have kids their age and we foster their friendship. Its worked so far. My kids are 9 and 12. They still do earmuffs and cover their eyes when their is a kissing scene in movies we watch and we tell them when it's over.

So yes kids their age have "relationships" but mine haven't started yet and their friends relationship is pretty innocent...holding hands is a BIG DEAL.

Flowers,dancing to the school dance...that's about it.

Just leaving it in God's hands.

We have talked about respect and what it means to have a godly relationship, honest communication, etc....but no sex talk...basically told them when they can support a family and kids, then we can talk more about it.

They agree they don't want to talk about it.

My son is in Boy scouts and my husband is a very active leader..the other leaders have similar Christian values so it's a village helping us raise our kids with the Church family and everything.
 
Feb 22, 2018
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#32
That is typical in a environment where gender mixing is accepted as something approved by the Most High , and no attention or awareness is pay to man's arch enemy the devil and his whispering [ be young be free ] [ your not getting any younger so live life to the fullest ] etc//
 

cherishedgal

Junior Member
Dec 21, 2017
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#33
I remember when I was very young, probably kindergarten or 1st grade, I stayed the night with my cousin. We were best friends and well they were family so we knew them well. She went into her brother's room and came back with playboy mag. and we made fun of them for quite a while then she went to her mom's room and came back with more dirty mags and we made fun of them. I got quite the education that night. My point is that it could happen when you think they are going someplace that you would never think it was going to happen. You just need to prepare them for when it does. I had boys and I started drilling into them at a very early age that they were expected to respect the opposite sex and protect them. We had open conversations with them and they, Thank God, got through public school without any problems.
 

cherishedgal

Junior Member
Dec 21, 2017
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#34
I don't let them stay at an unchristain home...they can come sleep over here instead....I have to trust the parents before I let my kids stay at there house.
I remember when I was very young, probably kindergarten or 1st grade, I stayed the night with my cousin. We were best friends and well they were family so we knew them well. She went into her brother's room and came back with playboy mag. and we made fun of them for quite a while then she went to her mom's room and came back with more dirty mags and we made fun of them. I got quite the education that night. My point is that it could happen when you think they are going someplace that you would never think it was going to happen. You just need to prepare them for when it does. I had boys and I started drilling into them at a very early age that they were expected to respect the opposite sex and protect them. We had open conversations with them and they, Thank God, got through public school without any problems.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#35
True it comes from unexpected sources and we should talk to them about what they see and hear.
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
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#36
If a child is old enough ask a question, then they are old enough to get an answer. If your four year old asks “Mommy, where do babies come from.” They don’t need the high school Sex Ed version, leaving them saying “huh?” Use age appropriate language. I doubt a 19 year old would ask where babies come from, but if they did, don’t say “From mommy’s tummy.” Don’t talk to a four year old like they are nineteen, and don’t talk to a nineteen year old like they are four. Only go as far as they ask- make them dig for the answer with more questions to know they are ready for more answers.

To the four year old say “From their mommy’s tummy.” They are likely to say “Oh” and not even ask how it gets there. But if they do, give them less info as possible. “Well God has the daddy put it there.” Again they might say “oh” and walk away. If you do have to go into details, first have a talk about things that are private (such as going potty), and say “you don’t talk about these things with anyone but mommy and daddy.” Never lie to your child like saying storks bring babies. And never make your child feel ashamed for asking about sex (which effects trust- you want your child to be able to talk to you about absolutely anything), or for having sexual feelings (which leads to perversion instead of love).

My advice to you is to get age appropriate books from the library and teach hygiene and sex Ed to your own child, do not trust the schools who introduce homosexuality. One Father was on the news saying he had to reteach his daughter after learning what she was taught. He said they showed a man bend over and perform oral sex on himself! (I didn’t think that wasn’t possible), but you’d be surprised what is allowed in a public school sex Ed class!

Unfortunately, your child is likely to see a girl kissing another girl, or a boy kissing another boy. (No one should be allowed on school property without getting expelled!). You simply explain to them that all things can be used for good or evil, even Satan used the Bible for evil to tempt Jesus. So even sex, which is very good the way God intended it between a husband and wife who love eachother, can be used for evil in ways that God did not intend- just like a knife is intended to chop food, but murderers use it to kill people. Both homosexuality and murder are very evil, and the Bible says that people who chose to live like that will go to hell. But as for you, you choose to do right. Noah and his family knew what is was like to live among evil people without becoming evil also.


 
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stand2

Senior Member
Dec 6, 2017
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#37
Sex,drugs and rock and roll.............What our children face in "today's world" being constantly bombarded with perverted behavior and enormous peer pressure. IMHO it is naturally inherent for children to want to do good, but they are victims, not only from peers, but from the irresponsibility of the adults surrounding them. They are either misguided, unguided or both. Too bad there isn't a course on morality in our public schools.....Father, we pray for the children that must endure the temptations of this world daily. We ask that you bless them with responsible adults and teachers, that they might learn to do good in your sight. Please keep them safe within Your tender care.....In the name of Christ, our Savior....Amen.
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#38
I just came from volunteering at my daughter's elementary school. Teaching our Super Sleuths how to test and identify different powders like baking soda and borax....

I know they have character building programs and positive incentives...we have the Terrific kids program sponsored by Awanis and the Bear paw store where kids get recognized for good character traits and rewards to be able to go "shopping" with bear laws (which they earn for good behavior) it's all run by volunteers and funded by local community business and churches. My daughter comes home with lip gloss, hair bows, stuff animals, hats, etc. The kids love it and sometimes give them as presents to their friends. I believe it helps encourage to be kind, friendly and helpful.

The elementary school has "kid president" banners this year that say "be somebody that makes everybody feel like a somebody" i know the principals do behavior modification as needed but overall it most of the kids understand the need to be courteous and respectful of their peers and teachers.

The middle school has a similar thing with "cougar cash" kids typically buy paper, pencils,head phones, notebooks, free ice cream coupons, etc...
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#39
If all the "good Christians" take their kids out of public schools....then how can they make friends with the people who really need their friendship and love?
 

Ariel82

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2011
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#40
My daughter was showing her teacher her baptism certificate in 1st grade..later a kid asked her on the playground what baptism was and who Jesus was and she told her "it's when you get adopted into God's family and Jesus is my best friend"

Sorry off topic, but I kind of tired of folks bad mouthing public schools.

We can choose to be part of the problem or help be part of the solution. Since I know most of the teachers and principals at my kids schools, I also know many of them are faithful Christians who love and pray for all the kids entrusted into their care. Yes some of the teachers are NOT Christains but even they still love the kids..., We don't pay teachers enough for those who don't have that love to stay in the profession very long.