What to do when a husband and wife want to attend different denominations

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Matt1626

Senior Member
Sep 3, 2014
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#1
This is a true story but I will leave the names and denominations out of it to not create a bias


Both husband and wife attend a "seeker friendly church" and read the bible for the first time after much study both believe they are in an unbiblical church the only problem is they both believe they have found the biblical church. The problem is they are different churches. Currently the husband and wife attend different churches (both are sound doctrine). But their is no changing either one of them and the children are confused. The wife has gotten advise that she should attend the husbands church even from within her church. What do you tell this couple. They have a great marriage other than this
 

Nicee

Senior Member
Mar 27, 2013
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#2
I don't think God really cares about which denomination they are in. All he cares about is for them to know the truth, and the truth shall set them free. The whole idea of denominations within churches started along time ago
Church History and the Development of Denominations
Historical Overview | A Study of Denominations
These sites may give you a brief history of the denominations in churches. The major difference when it comes to denominations is their beliefs system. Which in a way can cause a lot of problem between people, but people who are wise and smart knows that the denomination they belong to or they are in doesn't make them any different from anyone else in the eyes of God.
 
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Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
10,382
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#3
I wonder what the differences are between the two denominations? Content, theology or form?

My thought is they should alternate weekly between the two churches. We had a couple in our church who did this for a few years, although it was the same denomination, just different home churches for the former widow and widower.

In the end, they found it cumbersome, and they decided on his church, because it was many miles closer to home. They are both contented with that resolution, and they do go back and visit her church for special occasions, esp. because her children and grandchildren attend there.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#4
This is a true story but I will leave the names and denominations out of it to not create a bias


Both husband and wife attend a "seeker friendly church" and read the bible for the first time after much study both believe they are in an unbiblical church the only problem is they both believe they have found the biblical church. The problem is they are different churches. Currently the husband and wife attend different churches (both are sound doctrine). But their is no changing either one of them and the children are confused. The wife has gotten advise that she should attend the husbands church even from within her church. What do you tell this couple. They have a great marriage other than this
After reading this post the children are not the only ones that are confused. First, any church that is attended must be a bible believing church that focuses on the shed blood of Jesus for the forgiveness of sins and the salvation of the believer. I would not have a source outside of the marriage telling either the husband or the wife what church that they really should attend. That is up to the individual. Ideally, both husband and wife will attend the same church and share the same fundamental beliefs, especially salvation. I will be getting married soon and I will attend the same church as my wife. The family that prays together stays together. We each have an adult child and they are quite capable to decide for themselves what church to attend or what to believe. We as parents can only set the example and pray that it is the correct one in the eyes of God as to how we live our lives and the things that are most important to us.
 
Sep 24, 2014
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#5
I haven't read the rest of the responses but the answer is actually really simple, as long as the church the husband wants to go to doesn't have unsound doctrine, the husband is the leader of the home and the ultimate decision is his.
 

Matt1626

Senior Member
Sep 3, 2014
192
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#6
Lets just say one is "church of Christ" and the other is "baptist". Both have similar but different beliefs they believe is true. These aren't the churches but just an abritary example
 

damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,795
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#7
It would be easier if we knew the denominations. If one is catholic and the other say apostolic ect t would help a great deal
to answer, because of doctrines and beliefs.
 

pastac

Senior Member
Mar 27, 2014
1,322
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#8
unity in the family is paramount sitting under the same teaching lessens confusion if any should arise a wife in one church and husband in another is a formula and recipe for disaster this is a fact
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
26,404
795
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#9
This is a true story but I will leave the names and denominations out of it to not create a bias


Both husband and wife attend a "seeker friendly church" and read the bible for the first time after much study both believe they are in an unbiblical church the only problem is they both believe they have found the biblical church. The problem is they are different churches. Currently the husband and wife attend different churches (both are sound doctrine). But their is no changing either one of them and the children are confused. The wife has gotten advise that she should attend the husbands church even from within her church. What do you tell this couple. They have a great marriage other than this
If both have sound doctrine, there are other considerations that may be a tie breaker.
Is the pastor concerned for his flock or is it a job?
Does the congregation care for each other?
Is there outreach to the community with the Gospel? etc. etc. etc.
 

Calminian

Senior Member
Sep 11, 2014
432
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#10
This is a true story but I will leave the names and denominations out of it to not create a bias


Both husband and wife attend a "seeker friendly church" and read the bible for the first time after much study both believe they are in an unbiblical church the only problem is they both believe they have found the biblical church. The problem is they are different churches. Currently the husband and wife attend different churches (both are sound doctrine). But their is no changing either one of them and the children are confused. The wife has gotten advise that she should attend the husbands church even from within her church. What do you tell this couple. They have a great marriage other than this
If even her own church is telling her to go with her husband, it seems a no-brainer. I would support what she's being told. The husband is the head of the household. So long as there's no doctrinal trouble, she should follow him.
 

pastac

Senior Member
Mar 27, 2014
1,322
10
0
#11
This is a true story but I will leave the names and denominations out of it to not create a bias


Both husband and wife attend a "seeker friendly church" and read the bible for the first time after much study both believe they are in an unbiblical church the only problem is they both believe they have found the biblical church. The problem is they are different churches. Currently the husband and wife attend different churches (both are sound doctrine). But their is no changing either one of them and the children are confused. The wife has gotten advise that she should attend the husbands church even from within her church. What do you tell this couple. They have a great marriage other than this
I responded earlier this is not a perfect marriage by any means and to think so is alarming! Order dictates order its that simple a divided house will not stand!
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
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#12
Perhaps the best thing to do would be to reject both churches that are "seeker friendly" and find one that is Christ centered.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

Matt1626

Senior Member
Sep 3, 2014
192
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#13
Perhaps the best thing to do would be to reject both churches that are "seeker friendly" and find one that is Christ centered.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

They did that and they picked different churches.
I would say in general the major difference is the church the wife attends gives more leeway for one to decide moral issues on their own while the husbands church is stricter morally. This is very important for the husband because before he came to Christ and was an atheist he lived a life of moral relativism
as stated earlier both churches have sound doctrine the wife does have a little problem with authority in general.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
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1,050
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#14
They did that and they picked different churches.
I would say in general the major difference is the church the wife attends gives more leeway for one to decide moral issues on their own while the husbands church is stricter morally. This is very important for the husband because before he came to Christ and was an atheist he lived a life of moral relativism
as stated earlier both churches have sound doctrine the wife does have a little problem with authority in general.
Well you have to wonder why the wife prefers a lower standard of morals. It is hard if not impossible to discern without first hand knowledge if we are talking about progressivism or legalism between the two churches. If they are the typical mainstream contemporary church's there probably is not much real difference between them.

If the wife is not willing to follow the husband in Spiritual matters then the reason for the issue is obvious. She wants to be somewhere so she can decide moral issues apart from the bible. A rebellious wife is like a broken tooth. Especially a religious rebellious wife.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#15
to be fair if the stricter morals involved the husband attending an apostolic entecostal or charismatic church with all their focus on 'holiness', then I honestly cant blame the wife for not going and hopefully she is keeping the kids from that as well.
 

Matt1626

Senior Member
Sep 3, 2014
192
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#16
to be fair if the stricter morals involved the husband attending an apostolic entecostal or charismatic church with all their focus on 'holiness', then I honestly cant blame the wife for not going and hopefully she is keeping the kids from that as well.
Nope....... .....
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
12,581
1,050
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#17
to be fair if the stricter morals involved the husband attending an apostolic entecostal or charismatic church with all their focus on 'holiness', then I honestly cant blame the wife for not going and hopefully she is keeping the kids from that as well.
Without knowing which the definition of sound doctrine is being applied it's impossible to say. Neo-evangelicalism is no better than unbelief.

Part of the problem today is that most will not endure sound doctrine and it's getting harder to find.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

mystic7

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2013
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#18
I have been living this lifor the last six years
 

Revelator7

Senior Member
Sep 14, 2014
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#19
thats out of order. the wife is suppose to be with her husband.
 
Sep 29, 2014
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#20
Perhaps the best thing to do would be to reject both churches that are "seeker friendly" and find one that is Christ centered.
Yes. If these churches were Christ-centered, the wife wouldn't be rebelling against her husband.