What to do

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Apr 30, 2021
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#1
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
7,360
3,643
113
#2
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
Find a new church. This church is not operating Biblically. Find a new one before it collapses on them with you still in it. Your heart is beautiful, keep that fire but give it somewhere else.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
2,052
1,347
113
#3
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
When there is no blessing on your work, God is speaking to you. It may be that you need to "shake the dust off your feet" so to speak. I've had to do that and it is hard. We must not allow our natural inclinations to prevent us from doing God's will. Loyalty is good, but sometimes we are loyal beyond God's leading.

I'd suggest that you finish your lay minister course. Maybe that will change people's attitudes. It's ridiculous that people require formal qualifications, but that's how it works very often. If nothing changes, ask the Lord to show you where to go next.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
17,040
8,527
113
#4
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...
But that is exactly what you should have done long ago. Just walk away and begin your own ministry. God wants you to do what He has called you to do. And you do not need academic credentials. The apostles had none.

Invite people to your home for Bible Study, then take it from there and pretty soon you will have a church where everyone can pitch, in and you will be appreciated. Home churches are all around, so you will be in good company. The difference between clergy and laity is man-made, so just don't worry about that.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,599
1,160
113
#5
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
It sounds like you are suffering from burnout. I would 1) limit working to 20-25 hours/week, 2) set other boundaries as necessary, 3) have a clear and honest conversation with church leaders about your goals and expectations, and 4) pray throughout this process, before making the big decision to leave the church. If there are not enough volunteers for certain programs, those programs need to be cut.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,935
2,375
113
#6
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
Kind of an irony to say "it's not about me", yet read your post. There's barely a sentence that doesn't have "I" or "I'm" in it. This post is all about you.
But that doesn't make it bad, in this case. You're hurt and frustrated. And it's ok to feel that way. You're trying to do good things and serve God and the people who should support you are instead against you.
I agree with others. Time to move on. When people are actively, willfully and repeatedly kicking you down, talking won't work. They know what they are doing and they simply don't care.
Wisdom says leave. Pick your battles, and this one doesn't seem one worth picking.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
7,748
6,075
113
#7
It sounds as though if it is such a struggle you should leave. In prayer give it the Lord and ask him to direct your path and leave it in his hands and let him speak. Sometimes when things dry up God is not in it and we are actually fighting against him. Perhaps he has a new path for you. Dont be afraid to leave, if it were a mistake God will get you back on track. I am kind of learning this lesson myself atm.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,044
113
#8
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
I can relate. The problem is that you care too much and are taking it personally. Your expectation of yourself is too high. Did they tell you to work 60-80 hrs a week? When anybody is training for a sporting event there is hours of practice for minutes of play. Everybody wants to jump into ministries. It’s hard thankless work. Moses spent 40 years in the wilderness from the time he killed the Egyptian until the burning bush. This is your wilderness, this is your training. Here is a story that helped me see the bigger picture.

One day God spoke to a teen near a boulder at the foot of a hill. He said child I want you to try to get this stone to the top of the hill. Every day the boy pushed and struggled. Three years later the Lord returned. The young man looked at his feet and said, “I’m sorry Lord, I have failed you. The stone has barely made it half way up the hill.”

The Lord responded, “No you didn’t. It wasn’t the relocation of the stone I required. Look at yourself. Your efforts are not in vain. Where there was skin and bones, now is hard rippling muscle. Now, you are ready for the task you were preparing for.”

When I had my first child it was hard. Then the second came, it got harder. Then the third and fourth. Then I had four kids, two dogs, two jobs, a wife that worked full time. We adapt. My children are all mostly grown. I am amply prepared to do whatever the Lord requires not in spite of the “wilderness” but because of it. Don’t quit. Embrace the pain but change the focus. God is not preventing the desires of your heart, HE IS PREPARING YOU FOR THEM. Press on.
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#9
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
I don't know what church you are involved with but there are possibly several problems here, either you found a church full of narcissists, which can happen, or you are focused on the neigh sayers, because someone supports you for the job or you would have been fired by now, or there is something about you that repulses people. So I want you to understand that I am not trying to be mean ,but rather tryin to help you diagnose the problem.
How is your personal hygiene? Are you showered and deodorant, teeth brushed, hair combed, clothes clean, or do you look disheveled? Is it a personality thing? Are you abrasive or pushy? Do you talk too much? Are you the Ernest P Worrell of your church? Do you mess things up? These are just things for you to honestly evaluate about yourself. It could be the church is full of jerks. Maybe it's time to find a church that appreciates all the effort you put in. I don't know, just trying to help.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
4,245
937
113
#10
Hello. I am getting down. I take care of a church, from clean, to write grants to run the community outreach meal program. I am also almost a lay minister (need 1-2 classes)...but, I am not accepted nor appreciated.
I am paid for 20 hr a week,
But here 8-12 per day, 7 days a week. I am constantly being put down by church members...i never do things good enough for them...I give my time, my money and my talents..I was really gone over a while back, told they did not know how I am taking class, how i am even allowed to take classes, and how I would never be allowed to preach or anything else (even though almost done with lay minister and lay speaker classes....because I am not a member of THEIR church.
Im good enough to do their dirty work, but not share gods word...we need new people...ive taken classes...im told no, i dont understand...i want to reach out to the "unchurched" which i was not so long ago...no...i want to start a campus program at a local vo-tech school, where there is a need...no, you are not qualifed. The meal program is in dire need of volunteers..
No...then I was told....you wanted this program to grow now you deal with it.
This is not about me, it is needing gods sheep.
I dont want to walk away but we are so close, but I am soo tired, so sick of church...there are times I want to cry...Im doing what i think gods wants done....
But the church is dead set aginst it, and I am the bad person.
Thank you for listening.
Do you do what you do for yourself, others, or God?

Take a two week break from everything that you are doing. Spend that time in prayer. Ask God to guide you into His service. Ask Him to show you the things that He wants you to do. Take pleasing self and others out of your work and concentrate only on pleasing God.