What would your reaction be?

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woohoogirl

Guest
#1
I want to know what you would do..My husband uses my Iphone every once in a while to play games or check email. This morning I noticed the last app he looked at was a porn type app, he obviously did not download the app because it was on my phone and just looked at the details and examples of what treasures could be found on this site. He had an affiar with who I thought was my best friend two horrible years ago and I still have trust issues. This set me off and now I am beyond angry. This is not what I call rebuilding trust. What is the next step??:mad:
 
J

JLBSTORM

Guest
#2
I understand your pain, compeletly. Trust is SO hard to regain. Talk w/him in a civil matter, let him know your fears and your true heart. you said yourself he didnt download it at all, which is a plus. But ask him if he is looking at porn at all. if he is it is a problem.

IMO porn is a form of cheating, looking at someone else other than the one your promised to..

Have a heart to heart, stay calm ask GOD for wisdom...
 
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broken

Guest
#3
Did he actually look at porn? From your post it looks like he didn't actually look at it. Is it possible he was tempted right up to the precipice of destruction and turned away from temptation?

YOu might grab his iphone and see what he's up to if it concerns you that much.

Speaking from experience, if he has a porn addiction he needs your help. Porn is adultry, but is also addiction. So, if he's into it he needs some help - if he wants it. Some guys don't want help getting out of the stuff. SOme don't want out at all.
 
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Graybeard

Guest
#4
YOu might grab his iphone and see what he's up to if it concerns you that much.
I don't think he has one, if he had he wouldn't be using his wifes...imho:)
 
L

Leilaii425

Guest
#5
I want to know what you would do..My husband uses my Iphone every once in a while to play games or check email. This morning I noticed the last app he looked at was a porn type app, he obviously did not download the app because it was on my phone and just looked at the details and examples of what treasures could be found on this site. He had an affiar with who I thought was my best friend two horrible years ago and I still have trust issues. This set me off and now I am beyond angry. This is not what I call rebuilding trust. What is the next step??:mad:

well, if this were me he would get the boot... buh bye.. I dont tolerate such behavior.. first an affair, then looking at porn, even if he didnt actually look at it, his intention was to do so, and im sure he would have if he didnt have to download it on your phone. Sounds like he needs some help as well, you definantly need to confront him about this. Ask him if he would be willing to seek help and if he is not, i would put him out.
 
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broken

Guest
#6
first an affair, then looking at porn, even if he didnt actually look at it, his intention was to do so, and im sure he would have if he didnt have to download it on your phone
Gosh, if we are guilty when we are tempted, is anyone safe? We should exercise care when we blanket judgements. No one but Jesus knows what was going through his head.
 
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Pr1nc3ss

Guest
#7
God knows his heart and he knows yours. It sounds like you love him so much. I would hang on a little longer. Forgiving and crying out to God with my tears. Keep talking to your husband...keep telling him that NO IT"S NOT OK. Help him walk closer to God. You are his help mate...help him! It makes you so angry at first...don't let your anger take away your marriage. He can repent. Praying for you and your marriage. God bless both of you :)
 
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ChristopherMichael

Guest
#8
First off, it doesn't sound like he was actually looking at porn. He could have just been briefly tempted (or even just curious), before getting a grip on his senses. Your super-angry response to this makes me think that you haven't gotten over his previous affair. If you're holding that against him, keeping that resentment and anger alive, it's more likely you'll damage or strangle your relationship than help it out.

Also, this is hardly grounds for leaving him, as one responder mentioned. I mean, seriously Leilaii?

As for what to do, if you have a very open relationship with good communication I'd ask him if he was having a problem with porn, in a caring and supportive way. Let him know how you're feeling, and why you're so worked up over the idea of him looking at porn. If he admits to a problem, get him some help! Getting an accountability partner, special software for the computer, or just getting rid of all kinds of internet devices are a couple of ways of fighting porn.

If your husband says he's innocent, and doesn't give you any more cause for alarm, you should probably give him the benefit of the doubt! People rise or fall to meet your expectations. If you expect him to be decent and good, he'll rise to meet your expectations! If you expect him to be an adulterer, he more than likely fall to meet your expectations.

God be with you,
- Topher
 
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dovey

Guest
#9
Agree with Topher....I dont know that I would have ever gotten past the cheating, but since you did, tears are often more effective than yelling and nagging, show the pain it caused you...and see if he cared, or if he is even guilty....did an art project once and accidentaly brought up porn pages with search....IMMEDIATLY turned them off...porn disgusts me, but it could happen to anyone.....watch the movie Taken with him...would make anyone who watched porn and loved their family's stomach hurt. God bless!!