Bullied gay teen faces expulsion after firing stun gun at school

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Aug 8, 2010
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#2
It makes me sad that they felt they had to go to such lengths, the bullying that goes on in schools these days sickens me.
 
Jul 25, 2005
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#3
What absolute barbarism.

Barbaric because children pose such physical harm to one another.

Barbaric because we have forgotten how to properly address something that is wrong. Either we brush homosexual aside as a fundamental personal characteristic that would be tyrannical to chastise, or crush it under the heel of greater evil.

I would be disgusted, but these things happen with such frequency now that I'm hardly moved.
 
Aug 8, 2010
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#4
I don't really know what schools should do about there bullying issues, but I know the "zero tolerance" policy is bull pucky. Both my sis and I got in trouble for DEFENDING ourselves from physical attacks.

The bullies need to learn some skills in tolerance and common courtesy, you don't have to like a persons choice of clothing or their sexual orientation but you still need to be respectful...
 
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violakat

Guest
#5
While I may not not support homosexuality, I still see people who are gay as people. And as such, they should be treated like a person. This whole business would never have occurred if the school had stepped up to stop the bulling. I hate to say it, but the best thing for that young man would be expulsion. And that's simply because the school will not protect him. He also doesn't need to go to an alternative school, which is probably where he'll end up going, but to a school that will protect him.
 
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violakat

Guest
#6
I don't really know what schools should do about there bullying issues, but I know the "zero tolerance" policy is bull pucky. Both my sis and I got in trouble for DEFENDING ourselves from physical attacks.

The bullies need to learn some skills in tolerance and common courtesy, you don't have to like a persons choice of clothing or their sexual orientation but you still need to be respectful...
There is also something called the "First Hit Policy", meaning that whoever caused the fight to start is the one with the first hit. And first hits include verbal attacks. Several of the school districts around Dallas, when I lived near there, had started issuing this policy. Don't know if it's effective, but maybe something like that could help. I know that you are not in school, but if your sister's are younger then you, then maybe you could go talk to their principals and see how one could possibly get a policy like that instated. Chances are though, you would have to go through the school board.
 
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djness

Guest
#7
Dynasty.....:rolleyes:
 

Dude653

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2011
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#8
The problem is that schools tend to turn a blind eye to the issue of bullying. Often bullied kids go to administration and they do nothing about it. This often leads to kids taking the matter into their own hands
 
Feb 17, 2012
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#9
As someone who was bullied a lot even by members of my family for my orientation, I can say that violence did in fact cross my mind many times. I felt that no one cared about me and that I was alone, luckily the bullying stopped when i changed schools after a family move, but still the whole experience was profoundly hurtful. Kids who are bullied are often ignored by school administrations because of the inconvenience of having to actually do their jobs. Parents used to help, either by pressuring the administration, or by talking to each other and enforcing punishments, however the issue of sexual orientation changes the dynamic because kids are either afraid to tell their parents WHY they're being bullied or their parents are unsupportive of their child because of their orientation. That's why so many LGBT kids end up in these kinds of situations.
 
Aug 8, 2010
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#10
As someone who was bullied a lot even by members of my family for my orientation, I can say that violence did in fact cross my mind many times. I felt that no one cared about me and that I was alone, luckily the bullying stopped when i changed schools after a family move, but still the whole experience was profoundly hurtful. Kids who are bullied are often ignored by school administrations because of the inconvenience of having to actually do their jobs. Parents used to help, either by pressuring the administration, or by talking to each other and enforcing punishments, however the issue of sexual orientation changes the dynamic because kids are either afraid to tell their parents WHY they're being bullied or their parents are unsupportive of their child because of their orientation. That's why so many LGBT kids end up in these kinds of situations.
unfortunately very true.
 
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violakat

Guest
#12
I just can't help but wonder how much of this is due to the anti-gay preaching by many deacons and various other people in positions of religious authority...

Related news:
Man Tattoos Anti-Gay Bible Verse on Arm - YouTube
It's one thing to teach that Homosexuality is a sin. But if it were teaching them to dehumanize someone who is gay, that's a different story.
 

Jullianna

Senior Member
Apr 21, 2010
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#13
Church leaders are responsible for speaking the truth. Violence is another matter. Most of us sit under such teaching and do not bully others. Those who become violent are responsible for their own actions.
 
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AnandaHya

Guest
#14
While I may not not support homosexuality, I still see people who are gay as people. And as such, they should be treated like a person. This whole business would never have occurred if the school had stepped up to stop the bulling. I hate to say it, but the best thing for that young man would be expulsion. And that's simply because the school will not protect him. He also doesn't need to go to an alternative school, which is probably where he'll end up going, but to a school that will protect him.
Personally after reading the report the kids he reported were probably suspended. However, you can't get students not to speak in the hallways or at lunch or in whispers when an adult is not looking.

Yes students should feel safe no matter. However I see it as a problem with the parents that they don't teach their kids NOT to be bullies. If the parents are abusive to the children or drug addicts, prosistutes or just plain negligent, then is it any wonder if the kids have issues knowing how to socialize with others?

I'm subistute teaching at an alternative school and spoke with a 15 year old today who has a 2 year old daughter. there is more issues to the story and around each child then what can be read in a newspaper.

It was wrong and illegal for his mother to give him a stun gun. She should have taught him other ways to handle the situation.

I would have had his brother and a friend escort him from one class to another. IF anyone threatened him, he could send the friend or his brother to get an adult or the School Resource Officer.

Giving him a stun gun and encouraging he use it upon other students was not the answer no matter how threaten he felt.

what is he going to do when he gets a job and his co workers pick on him about being gay?

I'm not saying its right, I'm just being realistic. people are going to pick on you.

I get picked on because I'm Asian. I'm not going to bring a stun gun and threaten people because of it.

sometimes its jokingly. sometimes people are jerks. What I find most effective is to befriend as many people as I can and they chase off the mean people by just giving them a look.

I find that its better to teach kids to make friends and build positive relationships and avoid the people who are being negative as much as possible. Often when the bullies are not able to get a response from their comments and actions they lose interest and find another target.

what many people don't know or consider is the messed up lives the bullies are living as well.

perhaps I'm being idealistic but I don't think kids are born bullies. I think its a learned thing.

often when you feel hopeless and have no control over your life, you attempt to regain power and control over others through the methods that others have used upon you.

So when you contact the parents of bullies what do you think happens?

they have a calm reasonable discussion of what their child did wrong?

Or they yell and fly off the handle and shoot up laptops?
 
A

AnandaHya

Guest
#15
I was reading through the responses and I found this one. It is the advice I would give anyone who was being bullied or knew of someone who is being bullied:

"The way we did deal with it was that we always tried to get her to focus on her worth as a person in God's sight not dependent on what others thought of her. We focused on her strengths and good qualities and assured her that the bullying was not about her but about problems the bullies had. After she came through the experience she later told us she was grateful for it because it made her more empathetic to others and she knew that she would always be able to be her own person rather than feeling compelled to follow the crowd. I would never, ever say that bullying is good, however! It definitely left some scars. I just think my daughter took lemons and made lemonaide."

We can't always control how others treat us or behave, but we can control how we respond and what we believe is true. Let us all listen to what God tells us about who we are and not what the world says for the world will hate us for just being who we are, but our brothers and sisters will love us no matter what.
 
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violakat

Guest
#16
Personally after reading the report the kids he reported were probably suspended. However, you can't get students not to speak in the hallways or at lunch or in whispers when an adult is not looking.

Yes students should feel safe no matter. However I see it as a problem with the parents that they don't teach their kids NOT to be bullies. If the parents are abusive to the children or drug addicts, prosistutes or just plain negligent, then is it any wonder if the kids have issues knowing how to socialize with others?

I'm subistute teaching at an alternative school and spoke with a 15 year old today who has a 2 year old daughter. there is more issues to the story and around each child then what can be read in a newspaper.

It was wrong and illegal for his mother to give him a stun gun. She should have taught him other ways to handle the situation.

I would have had his brother and a friend escort him from one class to another. IF anyone threatened him, he could send the friend or his brother to get an adult or the School Resource Officer.

Giving him a stun gun and encouraging he use it upon other students was not the answer no matter how threaten he felt.

what is he going to do when he gets a job and his co workers pick on him about being gay?

I'm not saying its right, I'm just being realistic. people are going to pick on you.

I get picked on because I'm Asian. I'm not going to bring a stun gun and threaten people because of it.

sometimes its jokingly. sometimes people are jerks. What I find most effective is to befriend as many people as I can and they chase off the mean people by just giving them a look.

I find that its better to teach kids to make friends and build positive relationships and avoid the people who are being negative as much as possible. Often when the bullies are not able to get a response from their comments and actions they lose interest and find another target.

what many people don't know or consider is the messed up lives the bullies are living as well.

perhaps I'm being idealistic but I don't think kids are born bullies. I think its a learned thing.

often when you feel hopeless and have no control over your life, you attempt to regain power and control over others through the methods that others have used upon you.

So when you contact the parents of bullies what do you think happens?

they have a calm reasonable discussion of what their child did wrong?

Or they yell and fly off the handle and shoot up laptops?
I'm not so sure that the other kids were suspended. A lot of times, if you can not prove that they started the whole situation, then the school will do nothing. A with kids, they tend to clam up and not rat others out, as they are afraid that they will then be the ones that are bullied.

As for the taser/stun gun being brought to school, I agree with you there. He should never have brought it. The fact is, while most kids and adults are not likely to die from it, there is still that chance someone could. However, trying to go for help is not necessarily the most realistic thing, either, especially in the secondary schools. A lot of that again goes with the kids code of ethics. Until students learn to get over the stigma that going for help is not the same thing as being a narc/tattle tale, chances are, this type of behavior will continue.
 

Jullianna

Senior Member
Apr 21, 2010
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117
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#18
I think it's important to remember that there are different degrees of bullying. Name calling and mockery are one thing. Fearing for your life is another.
 
May 15, 2012
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#19
Just to let you know that the link I sent with the last message does have something to do with the topic here. Especially the last few minutes.
 
A

AnandaHya

Guest
#20
I'm not so sure that the other kids were suspended. A lot of times, if you can not prove that they started the whole situation, then the school will do nothing. A with kids, they tend to clam up and not rat others out, as they are afraid that they will then be the ones that are bullied.

As for the taser/stun gun being brought to school, I agree with you there. He should never have brought it. The fact is, while most kids and adults are not likely to die from it, there is still that chance someone could. However, trying to go for help is not necessarily the most realistic thing, either, especially in the secondary schools. A lot of that again goes with the kids code of ethics. Until students learn to get over the stigma that going for help is not the same thing as being a narc/tattle tale, chances are, this type of behavior will continue.
I'm still reading the responses and I found this one to hold a lot of good suggestions. it just seems like a very big school.

I actually went to this high school, Arsenal Technical, in Indianapolis.

1) This is not a normal highschool (large single building type), there are over 20+ buildings at that school and it is more like a college, walking from class to class long distances.

2) That's how you run into people you don't even know. You've got 3500+ students, from all different programs, grades, etc. It has a vocational school in it, that has students bused in from other highschools in Indianapolis.

He obviously didn't know some, or even perhaps, *all* of the kids who had surrounded him previously, and were bullying him. It's common to see groups of kids hanging outside (especially prior to school opening in the morning, where students are not allowed in buildings until 7:30) that you don't know a single persons name. Even if you see that same group everyday.

3) Sounds more like adults not taking action. Interviewed Students? Having gone to this school, the teachers/staff can take action and figure out what is going on. It's almost surprising as long as this school has been like this that the adminsitration doesn't put two and two together and realize the amount of security/officers they employ is not enough and therefor they must take more responsibility. (I don't know, like having teachers patrol the areas between passing periods, since there are 100s of teachers at this school and all of them have free periods *plural*)

While a young student being bullied might not have the ability to look over everyone and identify the other students, the teachers very easily can because all students are required to have Student IDs at Arsenal Technical which teachers can ask for at any time. Not so easy to grab another students ID when you've been surrounded to jot down the name of the suspects.