I still need a title for this poem

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MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
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401
63
#1
Piece of the head
Obfuscate the sound dead
Peace on the mend
 

morefaithrequired

Well-known member
Sep 28, 2019
2,194
1,258
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#4
hey meg. I thought you were normal until I read this. Happy to join the weirdo club? :)
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
422
401
63
#10
Piece of the head=Thought processes of the brain.
Obfuscate the sound dead=Declare negative, deceptive or destructive thoughts dead.
Peace on the mend=Then peace will be restored.

Made sense to me as I was writing it. :LOL:
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
32,223
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#11
Piece of the head=Thought processes of the brain.
Obfuscate the sound dead=Declare negative, deceptive or destructive thoughts dead.
Peace on the mend=Then peace will be restored.

Made sense to me as I was writing it. :LOL:
I was thinking poetically last night about the same subject mater... how my obsessive/negative thoughts have been muted, and though not to silence, so hushed as to give an impression of stillness, which quite frankly is very new for me... and I praise the Lord for this :D
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
422
401
63
#12
I was thinking poetically last night about the same subject mater... how my obsessive/negative thoughts have been muted, and though not to silence, so hushed as to give an impression of stillness, which quite frankly is very new for me... and I praise the Lord for this :D
That is so awesome!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
32,223
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113
#13
That is so awesome!
Amen it is! I wondered if I should get out of bed to try to poetize my thoughts in writing, but thinking about the stillness of my mind made it active LOLOLOL and defeated the purpose of laying in bed hoping for absolute stillness in sleep :giggle:
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
32,223
10,333
113
#14
In this ever flowing present moment of now
I stand as in a doorway flung wide to the future
A mere window to the past behind me blurred
As all reckoning faces forward to embrace the next step


Something like that :unsure:

I am still um pondering that last word, step. Movement? Chapter?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
32,223
10,333
113
#15
Oh, I completely left out the part about the inner dialogue being muted :oops::giggle::giggle::giggle:

The doorway represents the moment in which I stand, and is the same "thing" that is the window also, though the window is much smaller because the vision while looking back is blurred and distorted, much smaller from a human perspective than the open door which stands before me, for all recognizances have been forever altered by stepping onto the Rock of ages which requires of me to reorder my life.
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
422
401
63
#16
Amen it is! I wondered if I should get out of bed to try to poetize my thoughts in writing, but thinking about the stillness of my mind made it active LOLOLOL and defeated the purpose of laying in bed hoping for absolute stillness in sleep :giggle:
Blast!
In this ever flowing present moment of now
I stand as in a doorway flung wide to the future
A mere window to the past behind me blurred
As all reckoning faces forward to embrace the next step


Something like that :unsure:

I am still um pondering that last word, step. Movement? Chapter?
I love it. Curve?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
32,223
10,333
113
#17
Blast!

I love it. Curve?
Movement is good, for it is nicely juxtaposed aganst stillness, and also has a relation to sound (an orchestral movement) which is again juxtaposed against silence.... yes, movement it is :D
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,691
1,598
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#19
Hi Meg,
I know this will sound weird, but the explanation resonated with me as poetry.
Read it out loud to yourself. It is powerful. I see what you were going for with the first draft, but the song of the words flows better with the explanation.
Thought processes of the brain,
declare negative, deceptive or destructive thoughts dead.
Peace will be restored.

It is strong in message and cadence.
I hope I haven't overstepped by saying this but what you did is a very writerly thing to do. We make a draft of our thoughts, and then as we explore them, when we go to explain them, we craft our truth. I think you went from raw thought to interesting writing. Kudos.
Piece of the head=Thought processes of the brain.
Obfuscate the sound dead=Declare negative, deceptive or destructive thoughts dead.
Peace on the mend=Then peace will be restored.

Made sense to me as I was writing it. :LOL:
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
422
401
63
#20
Hi Meg,
I know this will sound weird, but the explanation resonated with me as poetry.
Read it out loud to yourself. It is powerful. I see what you were going for with the first draft, but the song of the words flows better with the explanation.
Thought processes of the brain,
declare negative, deceptive or destructive thoughts dead.
Peace will be restored.

It is strong in message and cadence.
I hope I haven't overstepped by saying this but what you did is a very writerly thing to do. We make a draft of our thoughts, and then as we explore them, when we go to explain them, we craft our truth. I think you went from raw thought to interesting writing. Kudos.
Thank you so much! That is a huge compliment. I hope you had a Merry Christmas!