My Soul Cries Out to God

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Apr 22, 2018
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#1
In the dead lonely dead of night there is stone-still weeping and a stagnant ocean of tears from the pain overflowing choked up gone cold and clotted up inside. In this cocoon all is empty, dead, barren. God, do you hear me? Is there any way out of this darkness? This still-life canvas of my living death so alone so listless and overloaded with a massive mountain of pain. This pain never ceases, never slows down, never weakens. Pain is the stuffing that saturates my half-dead corpses waiting to be finished. There is nothing in my life right now. All is darkness and void. Does the Lord hear me? Does the Lord care? Are these words nothing more than the whisperings of another worthless and wasted prayer? Are you listening? Do you know me? Is there anyone there?
I am beaten down, crushed, catatonic, comatose. Every day the same stagnant stranglehold corded up by the ligature of my own unraveled threads. Lord I am not living, I feel all alone, stranded, left and forgotten, decomposing, existing and yet dead. existing listlessly lifelessly. for what do i exist. where am i going. i am stuck. cement bath buried alive. existing behind walls. unseen. a desert of naked existence, i've dug my own grave and i'm stuck down here in the den of my lonely exile. God please help me. God please. Lord forgive me. Wash me, cleanse me, renew me. I'm so damaged. I don't know what to do. I'm hurting. Hurting so much nonstop. Please God.
God. God. God.
help me.
i'm drowning.
i need out of here i can't breathe.
hear me please. help me please.
help me get out of here.
Please. Please. Please.
 

Aboundingjoy

Junior Member
Sep 17, 2017
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#2
Hi. I'm so sorry to hear the depth of pain you are experiencing. What is it that you are asking God to help you with? I hear a lot of your pain, but I just wanted to know how to more specifically pray for you.
 

Aboundingjoy

Junior Member
Sep 17, 2017
15
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#3
I'm praying for you. The Lord is near. He will finish the good work He has begun in you. You write beautifully. It's very poignant. It reminded me of Jesus as He suffered on the cross for us. Isn't that what He might have endured? Keep remembering the One who loves you and already experienced them for you. You are in His hands and He will see you through. Your cry became His as He hung on the cross for you. All that you experience, He has gone through, He suffocated, He died for you, so that you can have His beauty. He has carried your burdens and conquered them in His resurrection and that power is now available to you. He knows all that you are going through. He sees your pain. He sees your tears. I want to encourage you to keep your eyes on Him who conquered death and promises a new life in Him.

"I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you." Isaiah 43:2

*hugs

 

Edwin3

Junior Member
Apr 30, 2018
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#4
Hi, dpecheur10, thank you for sharing your heart. These words remind me a lot of the poetry I wrote as a young man as I drowned in a downward spiral of pain, loneliness, and negative behavior patterns. I also couldn’t help but notice that you are thirty-three, which was about my age when I faced a second very dark time in my life, perhaps even more intense than the first (though for some reason I didn’t write poetry then). I do want to offer a ray of hope. Both journeys were long, but both times God heard my cry, and brought me out to a higher plain and made me a better person in the process. At the time, the sense of frustration and abandonment was intensely real and I very nearly gave up on God. Now looking back, I realize that God was patiently waiting for me to finally be ready to embrace revelations of truth about myself that would set me reeling, but ultimately drive me to take real steps forward in my life. Any earlier and I would have flatly rejected what He wanted to reveal. I don’t have a good explanation for the ways God works. But I do know that He cares about you personally; that He is actively pursuing you, even when you can’t feel its and that He is willing to take the risk of losing you (so to speak) in order to break you out of pain and sorrow and bring you into almost dizzying happiness and freedom. I hope I haven’t overstated it, and I have no idea how God will work in your unique experience, but that is what I experienced and I fervently hope that your story will be the same. You are in my prayers.
 
Apr 22, 2018
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#5
thank u so much for this Edwin. really it means a lot. hearing other people's testimonies of rising up out of the dark and experiencing the incredible healing that only comes through God's grace is deeply inspiring to me. I want to say more later. But for now thank u kindly. God bless. And thank you for keeping me in your prayers.
 

Edwin3

Junior Member
Apr 30, 2018
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#6
You're welcome, dpecheur10! God be with you!
 
Apr 30, 2018
54
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#7
In the dead lonely dead of night there is stone-still weeping and a stagnant ocean of tears from the pain overflowing choked up gone cold and clotted up inside. In this cocoon all is empty, dead, barren. God, do you hear me? Is there any way out of this darkness? This still-life canvas of my living death so alone so listless and overloaded with a massive mountain of pain. This pain never ceases, never slows down, never weakens. Pain is the stuffing that saturates my half-dead corpses waiting to be finished. There is nothing in my life right now. All is darkness and void. Does the Lord hear me? Does the Lord care? Are these words nothing more than the whisperings of another worthless and wasted prayer? Are you listening? Do you know me? Is there anyone there?
I am beaten down, crushed, catatonic, comatose. Every day the same stagnant stranglehold corded up by the ligature of my own unraveled threads. Lord I am not living, I feel all alone, stranded, left and forgotten, decomposing, existing and yet dead. existing listlessly lifelessly. for what do i exist. where am i going. i am stuck. cement bath buried alive. existing behind walls. unseen. a desert of naked existence, i've dug my own grave and i'm stuck down here in the den of my lonely exile. God please help me. God please. Lord forgive me. Wash me, cleanse me, renew me. I'm so damaged. I don't know what to do. I'm hurting. Hurting so much nonstop. Please God.
God. God. God.
help me.
i'm drowning.
i need out of here i can't breathe.
hear me please. help me please.
help me get out of here.
Please. Please. Please.
Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

Hebrews 13:5
 

MikaelGor

Junior Member
May 18, 2018
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#8
Which word describes the love that binds, frees minds and finds the truth is kind, and crimes and cries have been erased, have been replaced with loves embrace, He took our place upon the cross, He bore our punishment He won, no loss! Jesus Christ our King of Kings, with Him forever my heart does sing!!! 1 Peter 2:24 Who Himself bore our sins on His own body on the tree, that we being dead to sin can live unto righteousness, by whose stripes we were healed, 1 John 4:19 We love Him, because He first loved us!!!!!!!
 

MikaelGor

Junior Member
May 18, 2018
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#9
As time runs out and all do say, you are alone, and are staying that way, I will send out hope that you will see, Jesus face and Jesus's peace, it's in His love that we may live, its in His arms all of lifes gifts, when He stretched upon the cross, his Holy blood not one drop lost, He is our God, our Creator too, He gave Himself for me and you, He asks we take Him in our hearts, that with our lips our lives do start, Confess Him as Lord and believe, that He lived, He died, and rose for we, on the third day He conquered death, and rose again that we may rest, from struggles from hurts from the lies we've believed, accept our Lord and receive, receive, My honest hope and prayer for you, is that you come to see Him too, Jesus loves us small and big, sinners praise and do a jig, for in Him you can finally rest from all your lies and all your mess, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved, Acts 16:31
 

MikaelGor

Junior Member
May 18, 2018
7
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#10
I've dreamt a dream like this before, where fear has tried to seem like more, to implore me to join on its dark path, but with a laugh I walk right past, for stress, fatigue, sickness, disease, poverty these aren't for me, it's a promise a guarantee a solid truth, the foundation Christ whose life is proof, that if we choose to believe, He gives His love, it wasn't free He bore our sins upon Himself, but freely gives us divine health, He conquered death and rose again! That we may live in Him our friend, our Father our God the Most High, He FINISHED it with a triumphant cry! He won He won, it is done, God is good! He gave His Son! For all of us!!! Have a wonderful evening!!! Praise God! Hallelujah!!!