Presbyterian/Baptist War

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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
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177
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The Baptist hates science
With a seething passion
Sees the world's in past-tense
Clad in 1800's fashion

He joined me on the clearest night
To gaze at nearest stars
Moved by the dim light
In hopes at seeing Mars

Looking through the telescope
He couldn't help but marvel
Shed a bucket of tears
At the celestial carnival

On our way back home
I spoke of the earth's path
Little did I know
This would invoke his wrath

He gestured with both hands
Made a little splat
"Look at the shape of lands,
Can't you see the earth is flat!"
 

Tinuviel

Senior Member
Jun 6, 2015
4,738
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Yep, and I think Sov is a secret fifth-column socialist because his avatar is a pink star.
AH-HAH! The truth is out! lol. I'm trying to deduce something from you covering up Abe, but my IQ is at an all-time low and I'm not coming up with anything.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,506
177
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SOVEREIGNGRACE!

SOVEREIGNGRACE!

SOVEREIGNGRACE!
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,433
288
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it's not really 'funny', but very sad, for within the Body of True Christians,
there is total 'unity': have any of you ever experienced this???
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,506
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Yes. If anything this thread is an example of two brothers poking fun at eternally pointless differences and disagreements.

This is not a fight but a fun sparring match.

it's not really 'funny', but very sad, for within the Body of True Christians,
there is total 'unity': have any of you ever experienced this???
 
Dec 28, 2016
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Sovereign Grace = Sov-iet?
Des went running throughout the house
In a manic rage
Turning upside the sofa
And his momma's bird cage

He said, "I have to have it
Where is it at?
I can't go outside
Without my tinfoil hat!"
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,013
68
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it's not really 'funny', but very sad, for within the Body of True Christians,
there is total 'unity': have any of you ever experienced this???
Dear brother...this thread is one of the most relaxed and peaceful I've ever seen. No arguing or fighting...just teasing one another with wit and humor. There is unity in a thread when you can acknowledge differences, but also know we all serve the same King in spite of our subtle differences in doctrines.
 
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The umpire umps
His first all-star game
He soaks up the glory
And laps up the fame

The first batter steps up to the plate
The ump gets really queasy
Realizing in his hands
He holds the batter’s fate

The pitcher throws the first pitch
It splits the plate in half
But the umpire says nothing
Looks like quite the gaffe

The crowd breaks out
In moans, hisses and boos
Why hasn’t he made the call
He needs to make it
Make it real soon

The pitcher runs to him
And says,”What is wrong with you?
That pitch’s a strike
The best pitch I’ve ever threw!”

The ump then says,”I’m a Presby Pastor
My Church is called ‘The Heavenly Mount’,
But I am in a quandary now
Because I don’t know how to count!”
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,506
177
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"Through the rocks to Mordor"
Said the Presby Hobbit to his friend
"Put that pack upon your shoulder
Our journey soon shall end!"

"Right you are, dear sir"
Spake the Baptist to his master
"We'll be there in but a blur
To end this long disaster!"

They looked behind them to the west
Recounted all their strides
Thru hill and dale, no rest
Awash in orcish tides

The Presby played his flute
In uneasy celebration
Mere words rendered moot
As they crossed to the dark nation

They danced to Mount Doom
Under the flaming eye
The Baptist raised his spoon
The Presby drank his rye

Stumbled through the threshold
Of the great primordial forge
To melt the evil gold
In the fiery gorge

The Presby searched his pockets
Casually tossed it in
"Well, take that off the docket!
Goodbye immortal sin!"

"Are you happy, my good Baptist man?
The ring is no more
It was all part of the plan
Since the days of Isildur"

"No" replied the Baptist
"I don't share that opinion
For my pastor is a dispy and my deacon is Arminian"
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,433
288
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'Something is wrong at our core: our roots have grown corrupt, and we don't want our God up-above
to instruct, therefore we will 'self destruct' and start to kill each other - believe this (brother)...
 
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I am not a fan of The Hobbit
Neither The Lord of the Rings
Many people love those movies
But they're not my thing

I am not into Star Trek
A trekkie I will never be
I am not a lover of Spock
I know to many they
Will think "what a crock!"

I am a lover of Star Wars
Especially the trilogy
The prequels were really kewl
But Jar Jar was extremely silly

To those who love the Hobbit
Lord of the Rings and Star Trek, too
I hope you enjoyed wasting your days
And dressing and looking the foo
 
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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,506
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Star Wars is cool
This I grant to meet a quota
Not a silly fool
I heed the words of Yoda

Lord of the Rings rules though
Its lore is deep and wide
Rhyme and story flows
One almost needs a guide

Star Wars is a movie series
Only three of which are good
Once you get past the wookies
Not much under the hood

As a Presby likes his Knox
And a Baptist likes his Falwell
Tolkien lore rocks
Lucas stuff is mostly foul
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
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PS. 119:165.
Great PEACE have they which Love Thy Law: and nothing shall offend them.
 

Tinuviel

Senior Member
Jun 6, 2015
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PS. 119:165.
Great PEACE have they which Love Thy Law: and nothing shall offend them.
Which is why I love this thread :). It is amazing that these brothers can joke back and forth, and no one is offended.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,506
177
63
Yep. This is a sporting match, not a blood feud.
 
Dec 28, 2016
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Blood feud
Dog food
Defeated for good
In da hood

Cool feud
Howdy dude
Don't be so crude
Or be so lewd

We friends be cooled
Even though our feud
Is not lewd
Or even crude

'sup dude?
 
Dec 28, 2016
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PS. 119:165.
Great PEACE have they which Love Thy Law: and nothing shall offend them.
Chill my friend
It's all in good fun
It's not like Des has a knife
And I a gun

We be Brothers
In the Lord
Who dis each other in word
And not dissect each other
With a sword

We be cool
You should be too
If we can take each other jabs
Why can't you?