A Fork in the road

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Princessweetie

Guest
#1
#1
Hi I'm new to this site but I need some advice. I feel like I am in a fork in the road and I don't know which way to go. Here's what happend: I have a guy friend that I have had now for 4 years. We have a really great time together. The first time I met him I did like him but he had a girlfriend. Then a couple of months later they broke up. We continued being friends and then a few months later he told me that he wanted to be more than friends. I said that I just wanted to be friends because I wasn't sure if he was the one for me and I didn't want to go further and then it not work out and us not being friends anymore. This continued for a awhile longer and then a few months ago he told me again that he felt us getting closer and wanted to know if I still just wanted to be friends. At this point I was feeling the same thing and didn't really have a good answer to give him at the time, What I was really thinking since the beginning was that I was afraid of us dating and then it not work out. and our friendship would never be the same The a few months went by and I hadn't heard from him. Then he calls me to wish me Happy Birthday. I then go to visit my Best friend and I tell her this story then a couple of days later I was at a Bible study that talked about having courage and faith and not being afraid which was what I had been taling about earlier. Then other things came up through the week that touched on that same thing. I prayed about it and felt at peace with telling my guy friend that I wanted to become more. Then before I was to meet him the next day I had a family member tell me that she has felt in her spirit for a year that if I didn't look around (for example E-Harmony) that I would settle for this guy friend. She has been trying to get me to go on E-Harmony for several months now and I said I was going to this summer but it hadn't happend yet. So now I am really confused and don't know what to do. One of my friends told me not to go on E-Harmony that that is not what God would want a women to do and I kind of agree, it doesn't seem very romantice to me, I don't think I should have to go out there and find someone. Now I am not sure which way God wants me to go. Both avenue's involve risk. I could risk going further in my relationship with my Guy friend or I can risk loosing him and going on E-Harmony to find someone.
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#2
#2
It sounds like a very difficult situation you are in, but at the core it sounds to me like you are unsure about everything and are looking everywhere but in your heart for the answer.

I am not personally a believer of actively seeking out a partner and I think, with all due respect to your family and friends, that advising someone to use a dating service is very poor advice, especially when it cost's money, doesn't seem the right way to find a true partner.

I think you need to talk to your guy friend and tell him honestly why you have been unsure about taking your relationship further and see if he understands, maybe despite his attempts to further things he is also worried about how it might affect your friendship, your only chance to resolve the issue is to talk to the other person involved, that means your friends and family can only give you general advice to help you deal with a very specific problem.

Having been friends for four years your relationship should be strong enough to withstand an honest discussion about your feelings, if he does not understand then that might indicate he is not the right person, it may not be a pleasant experience, but it seems the only way to resolve this.

Having been struggling with this for a while now he will likely welcome any conversation that deals with it, afterwards you can both move on, either together as partners or seperately as friends.
 
Semiazas

Semiazas

Banned
#3
Sep 2, 2009
249
1
0
#3
eh, ive used several dating sites and id say dont bother. give this guy a try and if it doesnt work out, it doesnt work out.
 
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