Brainwash vs. Cultural Expectations

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Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#1
I was in the military, and I once believed that the more expensive the sunglasses, the better. I had a 300 dollar pair of Oakley Juliets go into the Atlantic, after that, I had to rethink why I thought they were the bees knees.

I once was in a relationship with a girl who wanted me to sell my car and buy a new one because I was preapproved for a 20k dollar loan.

I was like, really?

I can't blame her, its pretty normal for people to do that. In fact I did that when I was 18. Which is why I knew not to later in life.



But a lot of things are like this, Wedding Rings, Baby Accessories, Cosmetics, "Organic" Food, and even Restaurants.


So what are some examples of things that you wouldn't put up with or things that you expect people to want, that intrinsically have almost no value?
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#2
This is a god thread idea, and actually really want to participate, but I can't think of anything.


I do have friends that say I should get a $10,000 Buffet Greenline low-c bass, and honestly, I do want one. That may the closest thing. But I also know that I won't have many opportunities to put it to good use. Community band isn't enough to justify that kind of money, you know? So, for now, it's a used Bundy...at least it gets a big sound.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#3
Clothing.

In high school, if you didn't wear the right brands, or at least try your best to look like a cut-out from a magazine, then you weren't "cool".
It was kind of painful, trying that hard...especially when my mom couldn't afford to buy the clothes I felt I should be wearing.

Not sure really when I woke up and realized...Who Honestly Cares what I wear?! I didn't even like the girls who dressed that way, why did it matter if they accepted me or not?

I have a friend who refuses to buy any kind of jeans that cost less than $100. I can understand to an extent...a lot of times it's hard to find quality without spending more than you'd really care to...but I mean..they're jeans. She could buy the same thing, nearly, for half that (or less, if she looked in the right places).

I'm sure I'll think of more things later, when I'm nowhere near my computer...
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
113
#4
Whenever I foot the bill for something, my usual question is whether it will last/hold my interest.

I am more than willing to lay down $75 for a sweater as long as I know it will withstand punishment and remain wearable for at least a couple decades.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#5
Houses, it seems so many people by McMansion' s now. Seriously one or two kids and you have a five bedroom 4 and a half bath house? To each his own but that's a lot of wasted space.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
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#6
My friend sent me this a few days ago:

64437-No-Designated-Time.jpg

I don't agree with the second half (I don't care for the "Follow your heart" nonsense and I do think that, to an extent, you should care what people think) but I like the first part. Whether it be expectations you put on yourself or expectations others/culture puts on you, it shouldn't dictate your life, especially when it's something that you don't value or if it's comparing you to "most people your age".

I can't really think of anything monetary that I feel pressured to buy from others/culture. I don't care about name brands unless it really is higher quality and not just more expensive because of a label. I'm sort of cheap, but I've never really had a lot of money, and that could be why. Then again, it could be because of the areas I've lived in and the lack of emphasis put on those. I have definitely seen it in places I've visited and people I've known, though.

I prefer to live a simple life. I don't want an expensive wedding/ring. I see these huge houses and while they're pretty, I would never want something that big. To each their own, but I think as Christians, we have to be careful with that kind of stuff. "If you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you."
 
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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
113
#7
Houses, it seems so many people by McMansion' s now. Seriously one or two kids and you have a five bedroom 4 and a half bath house? To each his own but that's a lot of wasted space.
I don't begrudge people who do this when they can actually afford to do so. Maybe a young couple does need that amount of space to entertain business associates, friends, foreign exchange students, etc.

The problem is when they cannot afford it and ask other people to pay for them be it the government, mom and dad, etc. Sets a bad precedent.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#8
True Desdichado, I've known people who've given up a lot to buy one of those homes, the complained about the payment and having to pay for day care for children, etc. Well then weigh your priorities, if you want a large expensive home chances are both of you will have to work.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
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#9
True Desdichado, I've known people who've given up a lot to buy one of those homes, the complained about the payment and having to pay for day care for children, etc. Well then weigh your priorities, if you want a large expensive home chances are both of you will have to work.
Bingo. Practicality is a lost art. You don't want to own so many things that they no longer serve a purpose other than simply existing and demanding maintenance.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#10
My late husband always said we could never buy a very large home because I'm a neat freak and I'd kill myself cleaning it. :rolleyes:

I like nice things, but I don't buy them unless I get a really great deal on them. When I say "nice things" I don't mean labels. I mean something that is well made and will last because I work very hard for my money.

Cristen is right on about clothes. In my business world people are obsessed with labels, especially things like Coach or Kors purses. Kors is okay, but I can normally buy a couple of very well made leather purses for the price of one of his. And Coach....I don't get it. That stuff is U-G-L-Y.

I love finding bargains. I know what time of the year is great for certain items and when most stores begin their clearances sales, like Bob Costas knows stats. For example, I needed new everyday dishes for my house. I took my time and about a week ago I found a service for 12 on clearance at a major department store for $60. That breaks down to $20 for a service for 4, which is less that I would have paid if I'd bought a cheap set at Walmart.

Today I went shopping for a couple of pairs of black dress shoes for work at Shoe Carnival (I'm sad that my favorites are wearing out. I take my shoes very seriously. :) ). I looked at a couple of well made shoes that were just my size and on clearance. BONUS: While I was in the store they announced that my second pair would be half price. So, I walked out of the store with two pairs of awesome shoes (plus an extra pair of laces for another favorite pair) for less than I would normally have paid for one pair.

When I have some time to kill, I'll walk around places like Pier 1, Macy's, and certain designer shops to see what's out there in the way of styles, colors, etc. THEN begins the sport. :) I will go to places like Marshall's, T J Maxx, Kirkland's and Gordman's to find well made things in similar colors and styles for about 1/3 the price. People compliment me all the time on my clothes and my home. They think I spend a lot of money. I don't. I simply enjoy the game. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#11
I don't begrudge people who do this when they can actually afford to do so. Maybe a young couple does need that amount of space to entertain business associates, friends, foreign exchange students, etc.

The problem is when they cannot afford it and ask other people to pay for them be it the government, mom and dad, etc. Sets a bad precedent.
I always shake my head when I see a young couple spend far more than they can afford on a wedding, new house, new furniture/appliances/every gadget imaginable/two cars, and then wonder why they are overworked, stressed out and arguing about money.

The more "stuff" we have, the more of our time it takes to care for our "stuff".
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#12
Weddings are the first thing to come to mind for me. So extravagant these days. Is a $5000 wedding gown really that much better than a $300 one? Maybe, but the question is, am I posh enough to recognize the difference? Nope!

Fancy ivy league schools. Again, some would argue that the education/experience/bragging rights are better, but the advantages would be lost on me, and therefore, worthless.

Lord willing, I will never again live above my means. I would rather live in a tiny home with an old clunky car and be debt-free and carefree than to have nice things and be stressed about money.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
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#13
I always shake my head when I see a young couple spend far more than they can afford on a wedding, new house, new furniture/appliances/every gadget imaginable/two cars, and then wonder why they are overworked, stressed out and arguing about money.

The more "stuff" we have, the more of our time it takes to care for our "stuff".
They never stop to consider how many used books they can get with that money. Harharhar
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#14
I dunno, I'm actually a fan of organic food. Especially because of the non-genetically modified aspect of it. It's just the piece of mind that it hasn't took a chemical bath and corporate profiteers haven't done God knows what to the DNA of whatever it is I'm eating. If I could afford to, that's all I would buy.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
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#15
Weddings are the first thing to come to mind for me. So extravagant these days. Is a $5000 wedding gown really that much better than a $300 one? Maybe, but the question is, am I posh enough to recognize the difference? Nope!

Fancy ivy league schools. Again, some would argue that the education/experience/bragging rights are better, but the advantages would be lost on me, and therefore, worthless.

Lord willing, I will never again live above my means. I would rather live in a tiny home with an old clunky car and be debt-free and carefree than to have nice things and be stressed about money.
Ahhh, school. So many people are urging me to go to some prestigious East Coast grad school when they fail to consider the 200k in debt followed by an over-saturated job market. No sir. I'll go to some lesser-known Midwestern/Western school and leave them none the wiser.
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
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#16
They never stop to consider how many used books they can get with that money. Harharhar
OH YES, books! It kills me to buy a new book, especially a hardcover. I can't stand buying books at a bookstore for the sticker price. If I have to buy a new book, I get it from Amazon for half the sticker price. I resent buying Kindle books, because it's basically... nothing. I mean, you can't loan it out (more than once, for a two week period anyway), you can't sell it when you get tired of it, you can't put a beautiful inscription in it and give it as a gift. Blah for ebooks. :p
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#17
Drum equipment.
I used to hold fast to the idea that if I didn't have the best cymbals or drum heads,or ply of shell,that somehow my playing would be inferior or the awesomeness of my sound would be deteriorated by the amount of $$$$ I did or didn't spend. This is true to a point...there is a difference in quality when you spend the extra cash on a proper kit,or percussion...BUT.......................................................
I came to the cold harsh realization after watching a kid on the streets of NY city back when I was 20,rock the freakin' house with a shopping cart,a few plastic buckets,a garbage can lid & a pair of Vic Firth's.
This dude was Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaazzzzzzziiiiinnnngggg!
He not only was a better drummer than me,but he was playing with basically trash & sounded better than some fully mic'd kit's I played.

Quite humbling,indeed.

After that I refused to ever spend more than I needed on a kit or percussion. I focused on being a better drummer,not a more expensive one.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
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#18
I'll add a caveat though that my American dream is to provide a nice home for my future spouse. I'm willing to invest to get across the finish-line.

Of course, I'll be sacrificing other things in the process: good beer, video games, vacations, frequent attendance of hockey/football games, etc, etc, etc.

Spending money is okay. That is why it is there, so I really try my best not to judge people with really nice cars or houses because I don't know what they sacrificed to get there.

Things are by and large different today than they were 100 years ago. The American middle class and upper-middle class "aristocracy" if you will has forgotten the qualities that got them there and their place in a society of laws. They become as entitled as the burnout with hat in hand at Uncle Sam's feet.

I'll comment on this sort of person from sunrise to sunset, but I think it is important to try not to judge the individual driving a BMW until you get the full picture.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
113
#19
OH YES, books! It kills me to buy a new book, especially a hardcover. I can't stand buying books at a bookstore for the sticker price. If I have to buy a new book, I get it from Amazon for half the sticker price. I resent buying Kindle books, because it's basically... nothing. I mean, you can't loan it out (more than once, for a two week period anyway), you can't sell it when you get tired of it, you can't put a beautiful inscription in it and give it as a gift. Blah for ebooks. :p
I love how you can buy a book for one cent on Amazon that would normally cost you $20 at Barnes and Noble.

That said, I don't mind B&N giftcards. There is something nice about walking in a bookstore and walking out with a fresh book in your hands.

My romantic side has come out. :p
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#20
I'll add a caveat though that my American dream is to provide a nice home for my future spouse. I'm willing to invest to get across the finish-line.

Of course, I'll be sacrificing other things in the process: good beer, video games, vacations, frequent attendance of hockey/football games, etc, etc, etc.

Spending money is okay. That is why it is there, so I really try my best not to judge people with really nice cars or houses because I don't know what they sacrificed to get there.

Things are by and large different today than they were 100 years ago. The American middle class and upper-middle class "aristocracy" if you will has forgotten the qualities that got them there and their place in a society of laws. They become as entitled as the burnout with hat in hand at Uncle Sam's feet.

I'll comment on this sort of person from sunrise to sunset, but I think it is important to try not to judge the individual driving a BMW until you get the full picture.
Ummmm... I drive a BMW (In good weather; driving my old Mustang in the snowy nastiness).

*hangs head in shame*

But I got a VERY good deal on it :D