I've been familiar with abuse in all forms for my entire life. I am a fighter and have never let the abuse take hold of my future. On that note, however, I ended up in yet another abusive relationship. How? Why? I knew the signs from day one but I let myself get wrapped in it. He said all of the right things, he was patient and understanding, good to my kids, helped me anytime day or night.. But when we were out in public he would stare at other women. Lies began to unfold about things he'd kept from me. Then there's that first time he grabbed ahold of me and slammed me down as I cried out in terror. And the next time. And then the time he drove angry and scared me so bad that I had a 20 minute panic attack. Or when I found pages and pages of other women and searches on dating sites. But, "I would never hurt you baby." and "I will love you forever" flowed from his lips like silk. How did I get sucked into this? Why did I stay? How do I find a good godly man that is patient and kind, full of love and understanding. Someone who very openly will communicate and never sneak and lie or crazy make. I have to find him. I cannot have a life where it's nothing but abuse! I'm too strong to accept that. My kids need to see real love.