ex girlfriend told me she would sacrifice her calling for her new boyfriend.

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Junior Member
Dec 29, 2017
Hi all the name is Venn and I am new here in christian chat forums. I was originally a member of christian forums which was quite active a few years back but I've seen the decline in activity lately so I made an account here as well I have been a long time salvationist.

I had a girlfriend long ago that wanted to become a pastor ever since she was a child. Ever since we dated for 7 years and a half we had been discussing about it a lot since I did not feel a calling to be pastor. In salvation army, if one decides to be a pastor, he or she must also have a pastor partner if they wish to marry. Sadly I didn't have the calling in the first place but I have been active in our ministry especially in praise and worship and in sunday school.

We were basically childhood friends since we grew up in the same church but we dated at the age when she was 15 and I was 19. You would consider it a teenage romance and a lot of immature stuff happened like me arguing about me not having a calling and how we can't be together in the future.

Because of our problem, I was still positive that our relationship would end up in a positive note but later on, we've seen the decline of our relationship because we got a little too comfortable, communication was less and the sparks just wasn't there anymore.

What lead to our breakup was also because of her wanting to answer her calling after one year. So as painful as it was back then, we both agreed about the breakup. After the breakup, she decided to become field assistants in outreaches and assisting our pastors in their work since this is a pre training activity before she goes to Bible College and even when we broke up I still supported her for her decision.

But her plans changed. Since she doesn't have the money to go to Bible College at that time, she decided she would save up money first and then when she has enough to save for, finally go to Bible College. She went to a faraway place to work. Even though when we broke up, we still did have communication and later on, I found out later after a year and a half that she had a new boyfriend and that she was so inlove with him.

I was confused why she had a new boyfriend when she was so eager to go to Bible College when we broke up. And then at one point she told me she might not go to Bible College anymore because she was so inlove with her new boyfriend. I was sad and kind of mad at her for deciding so. Her boyfriend is from a different religion so it would take some time for him to be comfortable about us salvationists.

I always did wonder if she was able to consider not going to Bible college for me, why was she able to decide it for a guy she knew for only a year and a half. And then recollected how our relationship wasn't so stable at first. I kind of wondered maybe she was her ideal guy for him since she was able to decide it like that. It was also a shocking news for her family as well and even to us young people at church because everyone was expecting she would go to Bible College although the news did not reach to the whole church yet.

What do you guys think about the whole story? I would like to have some advice over the whole thing.. she will be counseled as well maybe around next week.


Senior Member
Dec 25, 2017
Sorry you are going through this. Venn, I honestly wouldn't worry much about it. Obviously, she has moved on. You need to too. It doesn't matter why she wants to give up her calling for this guy. Maybe she realized that the calling wasn't right. Maybe she doesn't feel like she wants to do that after all.

Pray to God to help you get over her. Try to limit your time around her if you see her. Don't follow her on social media because your attachment to her will get worse. I know from experience. :(

The best thing you can do it leave it all in God's hands and pray for His will into your life and of your ex. You want her to be happy right? Pray for His will into her life. If she is meant to be with you, then they will break up and you will have another chance to court her again. If not, then it's okay. God's will is better than our own. Trust Him. Be blessed, brother!


Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
I read the entire OP but I kept hearing alarm bells. The church in question seems... very controlling.

But none of it is my affair.


Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
I think you need to get over the past.
Your relationship was falling apart, of course she didn't give up her calling. Why would she?
And, really, you're upset at the idea that this woman turned her back on God for another guy, but not for you??
There is so much poor thinking in this post it's nuts.

She abandoned her calling to be with a guy from another religion. It's pretty safe to say she's straying from God.
It's not about love. And, really, her life and decisions are not about you. Stop trying to interject yourself into her current life. Stop looking at what was. Accept reality in the now. She doesn't love you. She's moved on. Time for you to do the same.
Dec 30, 2017
Yup im there it takes a few princesses to find the right one i was told i have a sensative heart i hate getting hurt it leads me down a dark path somtimes


My first clue of something amiss would be the desire of becoming a female pastor