Falling in love is a disease

[Conquer]

As i mentioned once i think falling in love is like a disease. There are some simple reasons why.
- It is extremely addicting ... Everytime you fall in love you like the feeling, but once it is gone you must hope it will go over into "real" love. Else you have a big problem and you even start disliking eachother. In most of the cases people do not go over to "real" love. Because they wanna keep the feeling. It is addicting until you can overcome this addiction. Like every addiction it comes with great feelings, but it is not staying and it is moving away.
- It is selfcentred or it is only focussed on one person. Which does not allow you to respond properly to other people. It makes you totally blind for all things around you. So holding the greatest commandment seems to becoming harder.

With my experience of falling in love i can come to this conclusion. Only if you can agree that addictions are like diseases, which is a statement on itself, so let us not get deeper into that point. People need help on these addictions.
I once was in love myself. I was in love with a girl who was engaged. Offcourse i never really expressed it. But it was extremely hard because your feeling wishes different. So that time it was like a disease. So i go for the "real" love and acted like that. Because I thought if i really love here I let her go and let him have her. Not that i really would have a possibility to break their relation, but if i did more it would have become harder for her. He and she are both still friends, because i did not go into the feeling stuff (falling in love)...
It is really addicting because you know these couples who do not pay any attention to you anymore when they are together. No contact available anymore. I experienced two total different persons once they were together. Once i was alone with one of them they were acting normal again. The persons they were when they were together was just like someone who is addicted to alcohol (which i experienced closely in my life) and without eachother more social and like the person who was addicted to alcohol but who is now saved by Jesus.

A beautifull quote from w1k1p3di@:

Caretti, Craparo and La Barbera (2005) recently proposed a new definition of addiction. The authors states that addiction is

 

[MahogonySnail]

umm, syphilisis is a disease, love..well.. could be an addiction. So.. when you get married, you can tell your wife how addicted you are to her, "I am addicted (or diseased?) to you so much darling"..yes.. I'm sure that's what successful relationships are made of - honesty.

 

[Kenoragirl]

I know this is gonna sound really really nerdy but.... i was reading an article on love...lol... and they did a study on the brains of people who are in love and the brains of people who were on cocaine. They were similar! The conclusion... we are addicted to love! People don't wait on God anymore to bring the right one into their lives who they are to CHOOSE to love.(Yes, love is a choice. As much as it *feels* good to love someone and to be loved, it is a choice.) But we go on feeling more than what we know about a person or even what we know about God's plan for our lives. The love of God is what we should be aiming for in all our relaionships - romantic and not. I wouldn't say that God is "addicted" to us.... So why should we, who are aiming to love to the same degree, put love on such a cheap level as an addiction??

 

[Conquer]

@my own post ... somehow a big part of the post fell away. I dont know how that happened. I used just normal characters and the quote tags. I cannot remember exact what i wrote ...

I wish to point at the love that some people suggest in this world. God showed His love by sending His son into the world to save it. It is full of deeds. In some way people are addicted to something in life. Maybe we are all addicted and choose our ways in that. Love is not only a feeling it is an act.
Btw. romantic is something unrealistic what you are realising through the own feelings. It can be cool, for some fantasy world.
Is addiction a cheap level?

I'm sure that's what successful relationships are made of - honesty.

Im sure that is not true. That is like this romance, which always brings dissapointment.

Romance is an escape from reality, often more woman have to suffer from this than man. This is part of the reason i once read that woman seek there escape in books called "Romans", often woman read those books more. This seems to be a result of that woman are dissapointed in their relationship with their husband. They expected too much of the poor mans who try to love there wifes.

 

[Angel_Armies]

I've always believed that we fall in lust at first sight never love,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.



True Love is all these things.

 

[Mel]

I've always believed that we fall in lust at first sight never love,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.



True Love is all these things.

Amen brother.

 

[phaegmoristic]

That is an interesting take on it being addictive to love but in my view I would much rather be addicted to my boyfriend or husband than cocaine! I think the high would be better and last longer! I would love to be addicted to love right now I'm addicted to wishing I was inlove I guess I'm at that point in my life where God just wants me to wait but that sure hurts sometimes

 

[Conquer]

@phaegmoristic I think it can be a result of being a little addicted to this feeling of love (safe, satisfying, etc). Because God does not want to hurt you. And you should know that there are some strong people who are able to be single and handle that without the hurt.
I understand it sounds better than cocaine. Some addictions are not directly bad for you, like smoking or food. It takes time before you can see the results of that. I say this because hurt can be a result of addiction.
And i think you might expect too much of marriage. Because I know so many people who were addicted to eachother, but broke up when the "falling in love" part was over. So there is a big difference between the true one and the fake one.
Sure you need people phaegmoristic, and God might have a man for you walking on this planet. But do not expect him to be Jesus. Because Jesus is the man, which we seek whenever we fall into addictions. Btw. this message is not only pointed at you, there are more people with the same experience you have. For example I could be very hurted that i am not with a girlfriend. We often are way to much attached to our past so that hurt cant disappear. We are often more people of the past than of the future.

Thx for the words on this @Angel_Armies ... Good to give the Biblical love explaination in this topic.

 

[Abing]

LOL funny forum topic.. Love is a disease??? is it curable?
if love is really a disease, then I'd rather be sick forever!! love is the greatest gift of all.

 

[twistedlinen]

the way you describe it, it seems like idolatry..
Maybe the reason why elders often advice to love and experienced God's love first is because God's love is the exact representation of what true love is.

 

[Conquer]

@Abing... i am not talking about love, but about falling in love... Please do not get me wrong!
@twistedlinen You have good elders then. I think you are right there. It is very important to know what true love is and what is fake.

 

[Abing]

@Abing... i am not talking about love, but about falling in love... Please do not get me wrong!
@twistedlinen You have good elders then. I think you are right there. It is very important to know what true love is and what is fake.

OHHHHH wait.. LOL my bad,,, it's FALLING in love.. lol
im so sorry for that conquer

 

[thefightinglamb]

What you say about falling in love with one person, I would agree with (when that person is not Jesus Christ). But I would have to disagree with your solution.

The problem is a person falls in love with one other person and become callous and oblivious to everything that is not the other person. Atleast I think that is the problem you're writing about, as I have felt it in my own life before.

The solution is NOT "it's a disease, avoid it at all costs."

What I have done (and it has worked fairly well) is attempt to (and then you will) fall in love with EVERYONE. When you fall in love with everyone, including your enemies, all of the negatives of what you are saying are reversed...Instead of ignoring anyone with that callous thought "I don't care what everyone else thinks I love her and she loves me" (or vice versa), you end up with life and love everywhere and often in unexpected places.

Instead of just doing things or thinking/praying for her (or him), you start thinking/praying/doing things for everyone through the LORD.

I have experienced the mania though of falling in love with one person and then if you go to their church, it was like "is she there" and whenever I was in a setting where she was, I didn't care about anyone but her. Honestly, I was like that ALL of high school. But I was shy, and if I had truly 'loved' her or shown it, possibly I would have been able to see and love everyone else as well, instead of dwelling on her (instead of Jesus or anything else including schoolwork).

I hope this helps--it made my life pretty great--but also pretty crazy...
tony

 

[Conquer]

Thanks for you respons. Well offcourse falling in love with everybody is offcourse not really the same. I hope it will out the same way you say.

 

[Pheonix]

I've read the same aritcle Kenora did. That is not love. It is the biochemical response known as lust, and it is every bit as addictive as cocaine. Why else would perfectly intelligent men and woman hope in bed with anything that move under its own power, and some things that don't?

Its stupid beyond all imagining. The real problem is that no one recognizes real love anymore. I'm not entirely sure whether even I do, and I've had lots and lots of time to think. Too much time actually

 

[vaz]

ive been in love once, which most people say is not possible for someone my age but it is. it was amazing but it never centred on that one person for us we always involved God and brough Him into everything. My life didnt stop because i had a boyfriend my life went on i went to my own church and went out and had a social life but still i was in love. sadly now i am not as this person is now with the Lord but i thank God for the time i had with him and everything i learned but it has made me more in love with God and more thankful for His love and the love of that guy.

I believe God has someone for most people, for most people He has someone for you but for some others He has planned you to be single and these people normally know who they are, i dont know of many but i know its because they are able to do what God has set them to do for him themseleves and would be better without a partner.

 

[RandyG]

Just checking to see what will happen... Looking for a chat room for christian singles, and think I'm in the right place but the chatting I'm use to allows you to post submit and see responses real time unlike forums... Am I on the right track... BTW Austin TX here

 

[Leilaii425]

Falling in love isnt a disease, its like a big boil like right in your arm pit so you cant put your arm down.

 

[Cobblepot]

There really isn't any discernible difference between love and dependency, so I wouldn't say that love is a disease so much as it's a disorder. Of course, if you're lucky, it can be more codependent than dependent.

 

[Silex]

hmmmm.....hope the insurance covers it