Finding Joy in Jesus Only

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LadyInWaiting

Guest
#1
#1
Hey ya'll! So I wanted to discuss or ask for ideas and tips on how I can stay focused on God only. I'm turning the big 30 later this year and it's kinda freaking me out. I don't really care that it's 30 or anything...but I don't want to give up my ability to have kids. I just keep thinking about how if I don't marry sometime soon, I will be saying goodbye forever to having a family of my own.

Last year I heard and studied a wonderful sermon series by Andy Stanley called "The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating." I learned that if we don't settle our issues before marriage, we carry that into marriage. So it's best to work on said issues before marriage. He also challenges you to a year of singleness. I decided to do a year of singleness myself. All of 2019 I want to just focus on Jesus and work on myself. This shouldn't be difficult as I don't really date. I've been on maybe 4 dates in all my life. So I thought I would take it further by not only giving up dating but also giving up THINKING about men. Some of ya'll may know how I can get a little too infatuated pretty quickly. This is not good! If there's a boy I like I immediately go head over heels. I don't chase...but I do daydream about him like some silly teenage girl.

Thankfully, God has not sent me anyone to get "infatuated" with this year. A quarter of the year is over and I can say that I've grown quite a bit. I'm doing so many things I never thought I would do like being one of those people that says no to pizza, and walking everyday. I also read the Bible everyday and do several devotionals. I feel closer to God compared to where I was in December. :love:

But I'm still having problems with the THOUGHTS of marriage. I still long for a husband even though I don't want to long for one. lol Does that make sense?
Does anyone else have problems with this? If so, how do you deal with them?
Thanks for reading and God bless.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
24,911
8,163
113
#2
Beats me. I'm afraid I can't give any advice. All I do is live life as it happens and see what it brings.

Gee, when I put it that way... it sounds downright lazy. >.>
 
ChandlerFan

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
#3
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#3
I read a book a few years ago called Desiring God by John Piper that was foundational to me in my faith. And he wrote a follow-up book called When I Don't Desire God. But reading Desiring God really gave me helpful perspective on what it looks like to truly desire Him above all else. It is hard to keep your heart in that state because God has given us so many good gifts for this life and it is easy to desire the gifts over the Giver, but it will at least point you in the right direction.
 
NMich

NMich

New member
#4
Jun 17, 2018
8
9
3
40
Michigan
#4
I understand what you are going through. I am now 35 and after a 9 year worldy dating run I was convicted and quit dating. That was in 2010....After much prayer and reading I have come to believe that being single is a gift. Not all people have the strength to remain single until Gods plan for us is revealed. I would rather devote more everything into being led by the Holy Spirit than marry because I couldn't resist temptation. Its lonely and not easy, but life is quick and eternity is forever. Not judging or insinuating, but I was told great wisdom, God will only send you a spirit led husband/wife if you are also spirit led and that's his plan.
 
W

Wild

Guest
#5
#5
pffft 1 year only? try 28 but anyway jk you're doing a good job keep it up
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#6
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
2,660
113
#6
what helped me a lot is an active prayer life. i had a "do not disturb melita from this time to this time" scheduled lol. this of course helped me to communicate with the Lord a lot more frequently during the day. and if i was discouraged about being single, i was just completely honest with Him about it lol.

when i met my now husband, i frequently asked the Holy Spirit to help me keep my feet on the ground with the reality of it all because i was/am an expert in wishful thinking. oh how i would create these perfect scenarios until the Holy Spirit showed me i was putting my trust/faith in my thoughts and not in Him. when i realized that, it helped a lot!!!! the moment my mind started drifting away in wishful thinking, Holy Spirit was like "melita!" and i would snap back lol. He's so good to us :D
 
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