Have You Ever Known Someone Who Tried to Pull a Manti Te'o? (faked significant other)

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,819
432
83
#1
Hey Everyone,

I'm sure most people know the story of Manti Te'o, the football player who claimed his girlfriend was dying, only to find out that she never even existed in the first place. How much he actually knew, and whether or not he presented the story just to gain public sympathy seems to remain a bit up in the air.

On the supposed Day of Love, I was thinking about some people who are apparently so desperate to be seen as part of the Coupled-Up Crowd of Our Culture that they actually go so far as to make someone up in their own mind (and apparently, in their Facebook posts.)

Back when I was in my 20's, I worked with a guy I'll call "Tony", who was apparently used to being part of The Coolest of the Cool Crowd. According to him, he had always been one of the most sought-after guys around and always dated only the best-looking girls.

Over a time span of a few years, he began to tell us about a particular girl whom I'll call "Maggie" (not her real name.)

If anyone can appreciate the irony of this, by using the name "Maggie", I am actually making up a fake name for the fake name of a fake person. :rolleyes:

At any rate... "Tony" was always telling us about his high-flying adventures with "Maggie"--Maggie was a model who was going to school for some high-powered profession; Maggie made tons of money and loved to spend it on Tony and take him on extravagant shopping sprees and trips; Tony had broken up with Maggie because he was too independent; Maggie had gotten a new boyfriend but couldn't get over Tony and was constantly calling him, begging him to come back.

Now, this was long BEFORE the days of Facebook or social media. I had always raised my eyebrows a bit at Tony's stories. They always seemed a bit too carefully constructed and overly contrived. I also like to keep a ground in reality... While's it's possible that a gorgeous, wealthy, world-traveling model might become obsessed with a guy who was barely out of high school and making only slightly more than minimum wage (Jennifer Lopez or Madonna, perhaps)... It seemed... unlikely.

And so, the other girls at work and I began to ask to see pictures of Maggie, and when he he told us that she was traveling from long distances just to see him that weekend, we'd always tell him to bring her on by so that we could finally meet her, but he always had a ready excuse. They certainly wouldn't have time to stop in (to see us lower-class nobodies :rolleyes:) because Maggie had to jet off to another modeling job. :rolleyes: (If she was so in demand as a model, then why was it that he could never produce a picture of her???)

Finally, one day while Tony was in the midst of yet another fantastical "Me & Maggie" fable, I just waited for him to finish, looked him in the eye, and said, "You know, Tony, I don't believe that Maggie even exists, and I never have." Tony looked at me for a minute, and then said, "Well that's rather... rude." But, curiously, that's all he said.

And, putting the final nails into the coffin, he didn't say much about Maggie again, except to mention that they'd "broken up" (and of course, HE has broken up with HER :rolleyes:), and he was now seeing someone else.

This time, he actually produced a picture, and it was of a very pretty, but also very normal, "everyday"-looking girl with a young child.

It makes me sad that people apparently feel so compelled to fit in or impress others that they will go so far as to make up an entirely non-existent person. I suppose it might even be called Reverse Catfishing?

* Have you known people who have done this?

* Did you confront them, and how did they react to being caught in a lie?

* What were there reasons, if they were willing to give any?
 

Gracie_14

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
764
143
43
#2
I'm still reading your post... I'm going to let the others take this one :D but, very interesting points so far :)
 

Gracie_14

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
764
143
43
#3
Wow! this is quite ironic because i have experienced a bit of this myself. this time, let's just say I'm Tony (but female, of course) and that the model actually existed and the model happened to be male. where am i going with this? well, i did meet a model who had the glamorous lifestyle and everything. he was obviously good-looking (very :rolleyes:) he was around with celebrities which i will withhold one particular name. but, i don't really know for sure if he really modelled with these celebrities. he told me one time about it and never appeared to be lying about it. and it would sound realistic because i googled this particular celebrity and showed she was doing the kind of stuff he was doing. anyway it's really a looong story :)
 

Gracie_14

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
764
143
43
#4
[edited version]: well, I did meet a model who had the glamorous lifestyle and the every-day demands of being a model. he was obviously good-looking (very :rolleyes:) he appeared to very busy with his tight schedule and there was a lot of certain proof he was the model he said he was. one day he told me he would be modelling with two celebrities. he gave me the names of the celebrities, (names withheld... i believe all of you know them) but, I don't really know for sure if he really modelled with these celebrities. . and it DID sound realistic because I googled this particular celebrity and showed she was doing the kind of stuff he was doing. anyway it's really a looong story :) i didn't get to find out how it went with them because i ditched him... i know... i had to :)
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,522
455
83
#5
I knew a guy in high school that said he had a girlfriend in Canada. He never gave any details though.
 

MichaelOwen

Senior Member
Nov 6, 2017
746
53
28
#6
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when at first we practice to deceive.....Yeah been a victim before of the "catfishing", not a fun place to be in. I once talked to, who I thought was a beautiful lady from Oklahoma, yet, everytime this person would call, it sounded way too much either like a woman who had smoked for years, or a young man just barely 18 years old, but of course, this picture was of a young lady who looked to be about 24 or 25 or so.....it's a real thing, and it happens every single day to good hearted people.
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,819
432
83
#7
Wow! this is quite ironic because i have experienced a bit of this myself. this time, let's just say I'm Tony (but female, of course) and that the model actually existed and the model happened to be male. where am i going with this? well, i did meet a model who had the glamorous lifestyle and everything. he was obviously good-looking (very :rolleyes:) he was around with celebrities which i will withhold one particular name. but, i don't really know for sure if he really modelled with these celebrities. he told me one time about it and never appeared to be lying about it. and it would sound realistic because i googled this particular celebrity and showed she was doing the kind of stuff he was doing. anyway it's really a looong story :)
Did you ever meet him in person, Gracie?
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,819
432
83
#8
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when at first we practice to deceive.....Yeah been a victim before of the "catfishing", not a fun place to be in. I once talked to, who I thought was a beautiful lady from Oklahoma, yet, everytime this person would call, it sounded way too much either like a woman who had smoked for years, or a young man just barely 18 years old, but of course, this picture was of a young lady who looked to be about 24 or 25 or so.....it's a real thing, and it happens every single day to good hearted people.
Am I misunderstanding, but are you saying that two different people (the old lady who smoked and the 18-year-old guy) were both pretending to be the girl in the picture you were talking to?

I'm very sorry this happened to you. May I ask, how did things end?

Sometimes I feel like I should get back on the dating sites, just for the horror stories.

I have this rule for myself--if a person is trying to talk to me and he's unlike the guys who have tried to talk to me in real life, it's probably not real. As much as I would love to believe I could attract some 32-year-old CEO model, it ain't gonna happen. I have, and always will be, a nerd (although Lynx ever-so-helpfully says that I am actually a geek, but I disagree. :p)

I was on dating sites for several years, and I can only think of two guys who looked like models in their pictures that tried to contact me.

One was so arrogant that even a 20-minute phone call seemed like an unbearably long time (and to me, communication is everything, so that obviously wasn't going to work, even if he was the actual person in the picture.)

The other one eventually confessed that the pictures weren't of him--and to top it all off, he was married. :rolleyes:
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#9
Possibly. I'll say no more :p
 

MichaelOwen

Senior Member
Nov 6, 2017
746
53
28
#10
Am I misunderstanding, but are you saying that two different people (the old lady who smoked and the 18-year-old guy) were both pretending to be the girl in the picture you were talking to?

I'm very sorry this happened to you. May I ask, how did things end?

Sometimes I feel like I should get back on the dating sites, just for the horror stories.

I have this rule for myself--if a person is trying to talk to me and he's unlike the guys who have tried to talk to me in real life, it's probably not real. As much as I would love to believe I could attract some 32-year-old CEO model, it ain't gonna happen. I have, and always will be, a nerd (although Lynx ever-so-helpfully says that I am actually a geek, but I disagree. :p)

I was on dating sites for several years, and I can only think of two guys who looked like models in their pictures that tried to contact me.

One was so arrogant that even a 20-minute phone call seemed like an unbearably long time (and to me, communication is everything, so that obviously wasn't going to work, even if he was the actual person in the picture.)

The other one eventually confessed that the pictures weren't of him--and to top it all off, he was married. :rolleyes:
Arrogance and pride go hand in hand...and we know the Word tells us what happens with a prideful heart....I'm sorry to heart about that. But, no what it was, was I believe that it was probably a young teenager playing the catfish card, using somebody else's picture, but when I talked to them on the phone, it sounded like a lady who had smoked for years, it just did not add up. Eventually, this "person" told me they had cancer, then faded away into the blue......never heard from again......Lies will ALWAYS find you out, God makes sure of that.
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,819
432
83
#11
P.S. Someone who has known me for a long time on the site pointed out that I have posted about this subject before. I may have even used a similar title, and I shall confess that this is all true.

The CC crowd seems to change about every 6 months, and I often like to repeat certain topics in order to see what the current crowd has to share and say about it.

May I please issue my formal apologies to those who have read all my stories and questions before (often, several times, seeing as my life isn't exciting enough to collect many new stories! :p)

My inspiration for bringing this topic up again is someone I know whom I personally believe is faking a significant other. I hear a lot of "happily ever after" stories but oddly, this person never mentions a significant other or shows any pictures on their social media feed. I could be wrong, but I would think that someone who talks about a significant other that much, and in such detail, would be showing them all all over their web pages. :confused:

However, this is one time when I don't feel like ruffling any feathers (believe it or not ;)), and so I was wondering what everyone else has experienced with this topic as well, and if they chose to say anything or not.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#12
Possibly. I'll say no more :p
Actually, that sounds more sinister than intended lol. So it was some guy who asked to be my bf, and I told him "no, I wasn't interested in him" So to get back at me (I assume), he later told me that he'd found a girl and they were planning on tying the knot; about a year from now, but had no date yet. I actually didn't think anything of it. The guy seemed to want a girl friend really bad, so I expected he'd get one. Fast forward to 6-8 months later, this guy contacted me in what (I thought) was a slightly improper way for an engaged guy to talk. So I asked him if he had a date set yet? He waited a long time to answer back, and then said no, he found out she had an STD and called it off! And later I discovered during this time when he was supposed to be engaged he had been talking to other girls, urging them to get into a relationship with him. All I can say is...a guy like that, I'm glad I WASN'T interested.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,522
455
83
#13
I don't understand the appeal to lie, and make a story up. I don't get catfishing either. It just seems like a lot of energy to waste. The guy I knew that said he had a girlfriend in Canada,was being picked on by a few guys, calling him a virgin. I'm pretty darn sure the guys doing the picking had never seen a bare woman in real life either. That was all back before the interest existed. I don't know what is up with people making the story up. It seems to me, if you make a story up about being in a relationship,you are taking yourself off the market for a made up person. I have never known anyone to come up with an elaborate story. I've heard of the catfishing. What satisfaction does the person doing the catfishing get?

I did do the online dating for a little while. I never got suckered, other than the dates showed up, not really being as great as their online persona. I can attest, online dating sucks big league.
 

JonahLynx

Senior Member
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
26
48
#14
I think the point of doing this is to live vicariously through the other person believing it is true. This is also the root of a lot of catfishing imo. It isn't so much about trying to fool the victim, but rather fool their own mind.

I had a friend I met in a game online that we played often. She seemed like a cool person, but would have a lot of weird stories that sounded suspect. It wasn't as ridiculous as being some wealthy swedish model or something, but I could tell she was making a lot of it up. Then she started posting pictures of herself unprompted, and it was more obvious.

I never really confronted her about this or anything, just brought up certain things occasionally to see what her reaction would be. A lot of nervous laughter lol. But honestly I just let her live in the lie. Probably wasn't the best thing to do looking back.
 

MissCris

Senior Member
Aug 24, 2011
6,600
259
83
#15
I had a friend in middle school who invented a British boyfriend. She frequently produced expensive jewelry items she said he’d sent her...which was weird for a lot of reasons, not least of which being...how does a 15 year old boy have that kind of dough? Her explanation could easily have been that he just came from a rich family, but instead she told me that he had won some kind of drawing contest for the queen and the prize was a bunch of her jewelry.

After that, she seemed to think it wise to tone it down some, so instead of jewelry (which I now suspect belonged to her mother), she would show up with drawings she said he’d done for her. Eventually she started being asked to show a picture of him, and she brought a framed photo of a decent looking young man...who was recognized by our teacher as being a former student and also my friend’s cousin.
 

Pipp

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2013
3,975
232
63
#16
When I was a kid one of my best friend's made up a boyfriend...the details were so ridiculous you could tell it was fake... she later admitted it was.

And now as an adult I can think of maybe 2 people that I'm not saying they're lying but I'm saying I don't personally believe them. I've heard a lot but seen no proof. But hey to each their own.
 

toinena

Senior Member
Mar 10, 2017
2,188
497
83
#17
Well... I was talking about my bassoon as a boyfriend. Even bought him condoms. His name was Knut. Everyone knew I was talking about my bassoon... so I don't think it qualifies.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,522
455
83
#18
Awhile back when I put my picture up on this site, someone sent me a message and said prior, they thought I was a made up character on this site. I guess that tells me that if I was fake, I could have found a better looking pic.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,522
455
83
#19
Well... I was talking about my bassoon as a boyfriend. Even bought him condoms. His name was Knut. Everyone knew I was talking about my bassoon... so I don't think it qualifies.
You should have went with Barsoom, then you could say he lived on Mars.
 

NewStuff17

Senior Member
Dec 30, 2017
137
5
0
#20
I have been fooled like this before. I use to play games online years ago. I met a person with a strange voice on there at one point. People said the voice sounded male but it sounded like a female with throat issues to me. When the person, I'll call "Bionca" said their gender, they said female. Anyway, we met another person with a similar personality as "Bionca" and we all hung out together online. "Biona" described herself as a short, tanned, natural red head. She had a brother I'll call "Jacob." "Bionca" would tell us stories of the fights she would get into and other shenanigans. She eventually started working and we heard from her a bit less. She stopped working at some point because she said that she set fire to her place of business. Apparently it got bad enough to close the place down for months. She was often so filled with rage, we kind of believed her. Then I disappeared for about a year to raise my baby. Out of the blue I get a message from the other woman in our trio. Turns out that "Bionca" was a he. She was "Jacob," and an only child. She, I mean he had never worked. We had been talking at that point for 2 years.