How many relationships have you been in?

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posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
33,603
11,533
113
#21
What counts as a 'relationship'?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
17,208
5,796
113
#22
oop sorry

I dont realise, sorry grannies
 

Kojikun

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2018
4,658
2,718
113
#23
Quite a few 🤔 Some hurt more than others. Tbh I'm unsure ofhow many but all were after I graduated from Highschool. Ive had zero relationships since becoming Christian and it looks like I wont have one unless I go back to dating atheists and pagans.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
828
113
#25
I'm 31. 8 relationships of varying intensity.

Too many if I'm honest.

I think the common denominator on the Singles Subforum is that we wish we found "the one" sooner in life, whether it's to end a long period of loneliness or a long cold streak of relationships not working out.
 
May 25, 2021
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#26
Quite a few 🤔 Some hurt more than others. Tbh I'm unsure ofhow many but all were after I graduated from Highschool. Ive had zero relationships since becoming Christian and it looks like I wont have one unless I go back to dating atheists and pagans.
Yes, I understand this, sometimes it feels like the Christian males are all unavailable and the men living in the world are all that's left.
 
May 25, 2021
75
54
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#27
Interesting thread, thank you.

So I've had 4 friendships that were headed to the relationship stage in my late teens to early 20s, but didn't because of my insecurities. Fast forward to mid 20s and I got married, I'm currently separated, and have been for 7 years, I'm late 30s. Relationships are beautiful when they align with God's will for your life and that of your partner. Be honest with God about how you feel, if you long for relationship, tell the Lord, the word says that no good thing will God withhold from His children, and if you delight in the Lord He will give you the desires of your heart. I've asked God to be my matchmaker, I've given over my search 0for a husband to his capable hands and I know He will connect us at the right time. When I was younger it bothered me so much that I had not been kissed or was not in a relationship, being older I can tell you there is a blessing in not having these experiences, as the struggles with lust and passion may be less for someone inexperienced compared with one whose eyes are open to this. Be blessed and take heart that you are perfect the Father's eyes, wait on Him for all things you need and desire, He is faithful and will give us what is best for us. Blessings 🙏🏽💗.
 
Jun 22, 2021
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#28
I have been in many "relationships", but only 4 do I consider serious as I look back in my ripe old age of 43. 1 was an unbridled disaster, 2 were extremely rough(one I almost married), and 1 that seemed decent but there were major issues. In them all I did not trust my King or myself enough. I was not patient or seeking of His wisdom. The advice through His word, and the council of His Elders in His Church would have helped me as well. I was not in a place in my development to know this. I am now. I ask questions. I pray. I wait. I do wish and pray for the one God has planned for me, but I can wait longer.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
17,208
5,796
113
#29
What counts as a 'relationship'?
I wanna know what actually counts as a relationship
cos...does sticking your finger in someone nose count. (or letting someone else stick their finger) Or is it more like holding hands for more than five minutes.

Or is it more like exchanging blood. Then you are related somehow?
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
496
63
#30
I have been in enough relationships to realise how damaged I became and how little I gained from them
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,593
1,647
113
#31
I’m on #4 and for the first time just started going to pre marital counseling before possibly proposing at the end of this year. We have been dating since Jan 26th and been taking it slow. I’ve never had this much peace with someone in my life. No red flags and I’m praying for them! If there is any advice for those who are single and waiting… be still and know He is God. He is in control! It’s much better to be single than with a wrong person, so be patient and picky and pray for your future spouse if you desire to have one. Don’t give up but don’t be anxious and rush it. It was a rough life to get to where I’m at but I know God has prepared me with lessons along the way.
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
496
63
#32
Interesting thread, thank you.

So I've had 4 friendships that were headed to the relationship stage in my late teens to early 20s, but didn't because of my insecurities. Fast forward to mid 20s and I got married, I'm currently separated, and have been for 7 years, I'm late 30s. Relationships are beautiful when they align with God's will for your life and that of your partner. Be honest with God about how you feel, if you long for relationship, tell the Lord, the word says that no good thing will God withhold from His children, and if you delight in the Lord He will give you the desires of your heart. I've asked God to be my matchmaker, I've given over my search 0for a husband to his capable hands and I know He will connect us at the right time. When I was younger it bothered me so much that I had not been kissed or was not in a relationship, being older I can tell you there is a blessing in not having these experiences, as the struggles with lust and passion may be less for someone inexperienced compared with one whose eyes are open to this. Be blessed and take heart that you are perfect the Father's eyes, wait on Him for all things you need and desire, He is faithful and will give us what is best for us. Blessings 🙏🏽💗.
I can honestly say that all the experiences I had simply dog me into a hole. Lust harms, but we're not being taught right. It's still taboo
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,783
6,170
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#35
I think that change is hard. There's little support. Elders have been judgemental so i have tried to keep my distance
Hmm... I have learned when people say their elders are being judgmental it is usually a good idea to listen closer to what the elders are saying, because they have seen more train wrecks and know more about avoiding them.

Of course it COULD be a cult-ish church situation, and they really are being judgmental. But that's much more rare than people think. Usually it's elders who try to spare people a lot of grief, and get accused of being judgmental.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,593
1,647
113
#37
I think that change is hard. There's little support. Elders have been judgemental so i have tried to keep my distance
Change is hard but that’s how we grow. I’ve grown up in a legalistic church and know all about judgmental. When I hear advice I go to the still small voice to seek confirmation if it’s advice I should go with. Gods opinion matters most.
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
496
63
#38
Change is hard but that’s how we grow. I’ve grown up in a legalistic church and know all about judgmental. When I hear advice I go to the still small voice to seek confirmation if it’s advice I should go with. Gods opinion matters most.
I guess I got to keep my hope up
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
2,038
764
113
Mesa, AZ
#39
So I turn 34 later this year and I've never been in a relationship....let alone kissed anyone. I know....poor me. But it's alright. Considering how my life is going, I have other things to worry and be depressed about anyway. 😬


But this is something I wanted to ask my fellow CC members: How many relationships have you been in? And how old are you?


And as always: If you don't feel comfortable answering, that's fine. But for anyone who's willing to share....I'm all eyes. 👀
I'm sorry life has been less than kind to you. I think we all have had painful periods and episodes, but for some it seems to be a lifestyle, even in the grand ol' US of A.

But... I've never been a "lady killer". Had about 4 single dates with 4 separate women before I met the woman who'd become my late wife. We were together from 1998 to 2009.

Since then, women have avoided me like the plague. Not that I'm so sexy, but I think part of this is Divine. But, that's another conversation.

About 22 months after my wife passed, Feb. 2011, I decided I was ready to pursue a new wife, went on three dates with this one Christian woman. After that third date, she decided my 5'6" was too short for her 5'3" when she wanted to wear her heels. Being taller than I was a dating issue for her. And, that was the last bonafide date I've had since.

I had one sinful involvement about 5 1/2 years ago. God walloped me for that. Haven't 'been with' anyone since, and haven't dated anyone in more than 10 years.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
2,038
764
113
Mesa, AZ
#40
Quite a few 🤔 Some hurt more than others. Tbh I'm unsure ofhow many but all were after I graduated from Highschool. Ive had zero relationships since becoming Christian and it looks like I wont have one unless I go back to dating atheists and pagans.
It does seem sometimes that meeting Christian women is next to impossible.

I'm often told 'seek your next wife in the fellowship of your church, brother", but it's hard to do that when the single women are 37 years my junior or 15-20 years my senior, and most are married anyway.

Datings sites SUCK. Amazing to me how the nice Christian ladies on those sites do not even answer your greetings -- because why should they if they're not interested? Funny, I do that because the woman took the time to reach out and express an interest in me, even though that interest was not reciprocated.

If it's going to happen, I'm not sure how or when it will. Otherwise, I really wish God would just give me the gift of celibacy. I miss the closeness, I miss sex, I miss all of it.