Hey Everyone,
A conversation yesterday reminded me of something I've wanted to ask for a long time.
As a long-term single, I would say that the most-often repeated piece of advice that Christian singles are given is that we should "find a nice Christian girl/guy at church."
Um. Yes. Because obviously, absolutely NONE of us could actually think of that one on our own.
Now of course, I greatly appreciate that people would care about us as singles and want to try to give us some kind of helpful advice, but I often wonder if people think about how this works out in real life.
Over the next 2 threads, I would like to give some examples based on people I have known over the years in real life. Each example is going to be a guy just because there seems to be the thought in Christian singles that the men should step up, but all of these cases could just as easily apply to a modern girl as well.
Everybody ready? Here we go!
Each story is of a young Christian man who hoped to meet the "right" girl whom they will marry. They were all given the advice from other Christians to to seek out a future spouse at their church.
Here are their stories:
1. Sam had been paying attention to the young women who attended his Young Adults Bible class. He asked out one of the girls in his class, but she said no. Sam then set his sights on another girl in the class, and intends to ask her out in a few weeks. Fortunately, Sam goes to a very large church with lots of different service times, classes and activities.
If none of the young women in THIS class that he is interested in will go out with him, he intends to keep searching in other classes and service times at his church. And if THAT doesn't work, well, there are plenty of other churches out there from which he can try to find a wife.
2. Rob also goes to a Young Adults Bible Study, but he belongs to a much smaller church with only 2 Sunday services, and the Bible study he attends is really the only thing they have going for people his age.
He too asks out a young woman from his Bible study, but she turns him down as well. There are 2 other girls in his class that he thinks he might also be interested in, and so he plans to move on to asking the next one out the following month. And if she turns him down, there is always the third girl to ask.
Hopefully, she will be "the one", because she is literally the only option left at his church. And if she doesn't work out... Well. Maybe he can start attending another church and can find someone there.
* What can you relate to in these stories? Have you found yourself facing a similar dilemma?
* What advice would you give to "Sam" or "Rob", or anyone in their situations?
* Do you feel they are taking the wrong approach? What should they be doing instead?
I have to admit that I'm a bit torn because I know these guys are trying to do the right thing in following the advice they were given. But at the same time, if I knew that they had each asked out several girls at church, then moved on to another church to find a new set of options, I would certainly be a bit wary if one of them asked me out.
* What is a Christian single to do?
I am really looking forward to reading your thoughts, because I've known a lot of Christian singles who seem to find themselves in this situation, and I am wondering how others would handle it.
Our married friends are welcome to post, too, because maybe they went through a similar thing while they were looking for their own spouse.
God bless you all in your searches and thank you for posting!
A conversation yesterday reminded me of something I've wanted to ask for a long time.
As a long-term single, I would say that the most-often repeated piece of advice that Christian singles are given is that we should "find a nice Christian girl/guy at church."
Um. Yes. Because obviously, absolutely NONE of us could actually think of that one on our own.
Now of course, I greatly appreciate that people would care about us as singles and want to try to give us some kind of helpful advice, but I often wonder if people think about how this works out in real life.
Over the next 2 threads, I would like to give some examples based on people I have known over the years in real life. Each example is going to be a guy just because there seems to be the thought in Christian singles that the men should step up, but all of these cases could just as easily apply to a modern girl as well.
Everybody ready? Here we go!
Each story is of a young Christian man who hoped to meet the "right" girl whom they will marry. They were all given the advice from other Christians to to seek out a future spouse at their church.
Here are their stories:
1. Sam had been paying attention to the young women who attended his Young Adults Bible class. He asked out one of the girls in his class, but she said no. Sam then set his sights on another girl in the class, and intends to ask her out in a few weeks. Fortunately, Sam goes to a very large church with lots of different service times, classes and activities.
If none of the young women in THIS class that he is interested in will go out with him, he intends to keep searching in other classes and service times at his church. And if THAT doesn't work, well, there are plenty of other churches out there from which he can try to find a wife.
2. Rob also goes to a Young Adults Bible Study, but he belongs to a much smaller church with only 2 Sunday services, and the Bible study he attends is really the only thing they have going for people his age.
He too asks out a young woman from his Bible study, but she turns him down as well. There are 2 other girls in his class that he thinks he might also be interested in, and so he plans to move on to asking the next one out the following month. And if she turns him down, there is always the third girl to ask.
Hopefully, she will be "the one", because she is literally the only option left at his church. And if she doesn't work out... Well. Maybe he can start attending another church and can find someone there.
* What can you relate to in these stories? Have you found yourself facing a similar dilemma?
* What advice would you give to "Sam" or "Rob", or anyone in their situations?
* Do you feel they are taking the wrong approach? What should they be doing instead?
I have to admit that I'm a bit torn because I know these guys are trying to do the right thing in following the advice they were given. But at the same time, if I knew that they had each asked out several girls at church, then moved on to another church to find a new set of options, I would certainly be a bit wary if one of them asked me out.
* What is a Christian single to do?
I am really looking forward to reading your thoughts, because I've known a lot of Christian singles who seem to find themselves in this situation, and I am wondering how others would handle it.
Our married friends are welcome to post, too, because maybe they went through a similar thing while they were looking for their own spouse.
God bless you all in your searches and thank you for posting!
