How to meet Christian singles

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W

WIbaptist

Guest
#1
I’m at the point where I’m feeling called to pursue marriage. But I don’t feel it’s good to fall back on my old habits of meeting women online. My church is small and there are no single women even close to my age. The other church groups I’m in are all men’s groups and I love the fellowship. But I have no interaction with women in general let alone Christian women. I’m certainly open to ideas on how to meet and interact with Christian women.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,097
4,843
113
#2
NOTE: The following is strictly my own opinion.

To me it seems like looking for marriage before meeting somebody you want to marry is like trying to write a song before you have anything to say - it seems backward, and likely to end in an empty song. One should start with something that needs to be expressed, then sit down and write a song that fits the idea. If you try to make a song just for the sake of making a song... well you wind up with a lot of Christian Contemporary music these days (or disco songs for those who were teens back in the 80's.) If you start with "I need to get married" and then go looking for somebody, you probably will find somebody you shouldn't have found.

"Don't you want to get married some day?"
"No, because I don't know any women I want to marry. Now if that changes, if I meet a nice lady and we start talking and someday I realize I want to marry her, then my answer will change and I will at that point want to get married."

Of course I could be wrong. There might be some people who have found good spouses by starting from "I need to get married."
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,097
4,843
113
#3
Oh yeah, and welcome to the forum WIbaptist. I'm TNpentecostal. Don't let my lugubrious tone to your first thread throw you off. I disagree with the idea, not with you.
 
W

WIbaptist

Guest
#4
The first step is meeting a woman... That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I don’t have any interaction with single Christian women. Kind of hard to meet someone that way. I’m looking to change that. I just don’t know how. And I felt the need to be single for while as I grew in faith and reconciled my past. But now I feel called to pursue marriage. I’m not going to rush into marriage with anyone.
 
Jul 29, 2018
55
45
18
41
NYC, NY
#5
I’m at the point where I’m feeling called to pursue marriage. But I don’t feel it’s good to fall back on my old habits of meeting women online. My church is small and there are no single women even close to my age. The other church groups I’m in are all men’s groups and I love the fellowship. But I have no interaction with women in general let alone Christian women. I’m certainly open to ideas on how to meet and interact with Christian women.
Hi Brother!

I'm in a similar situation. I feel a call on my life to pursue marriage, but there aren't any available men in my church. Especially in my age range. I believe the first and most important thing to do is pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal his will for your life, and if marriage is indeed what he wants for you, then ask for guidance and for him to pick your spouse for you. Beware of the tricks of the enemy. Someone may come your way who you believe is the one sent by God, but in actuality she's a distraction sent by Satan himself. Test the Spirit as the word says. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with meeting someone online. Just use good discernment . If you have good friends who know single christian women, maybe have a group outing with them So you can meet them, and get to know each other. Game night is always a good way to meet new people. God is always listening. Ask him for direction and tell him what you need. Our father is a great provider ☺
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,366
1,434
113
#6
Best place is church... ChristianMingle is alright and same with eHarmony. Need to be careful in making sure you are equally yoked and don't invest too much time before meeting them in person (finding someone local is best). You won't know who they are until you meet them and even then it takes time to get to know someone really well.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,366
1,434
113
#7
I'll rephrase what I said... if you both decide to be in the friend zone, by all means invest as much time as you want being friends! I have many that way and it helps with times of loneliness :)
 
W

WIbaptist

Guest
#8
After praying and expressing my dilemma to one of the men’s groups I meet with. I was led to a resource. One of the churches in my area has a weeknight singles service for young adults (18-39). I’ll be checking it out this week. Thanks for the prayers and ideas.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,097
4,843
113
#9
That's why I never liked the services and activities for singles. It felt too much like a meat market. I kept feeling like the people who were running the activities were watching us, hoping we would pair off.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,168
13,459
113
66
Tennessee
#10
I’m at the point where I’m feeling called to pursue marriage. But I don’t feel it’s good to fall back on my old habits of meeting women online. My church is small and there are no single women even close to my age. The other church groups I’m in are all men’s groups and I love the fellowship. But I have no interaction with women in general let alone Christian women. I’m certainly open to ideas on how to meet and interact with Christian women.
I met my late second wife online in an AOL Romance Christian chat room in 2002 and my current and last wife online on this very site in 2014. My counsel is that if there is a woman that interests you in a romantic sense you make an effort to introduce yourself. It doesn't necessarily have to be a woman that you met in church. A lot of people met their future spouse at work or a chance encounter at a store. You may bump into your future spouse at your local grocery store in the produce aisle as you are thumping the honeydews to see which one is ripe for the taking.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,168
13,459
113
66
Tennessee
#11
Best place is church... ChristianMingle is alright and same with eHarmony. Need to be careful in making sure you are equally yoked and don't invest too much time before meeting them in person (finding someone local is best). You won't know who they are until you meet them and even then it takes time to get to know someone really well.
The best place to meet a future spouse is the time and place that God has arranged. You have to be ready if an opportunity should arise and take decisive action. It is wise to be equally yoked but please understand that you probably will not be equally yoked in all respects. There is a big difference in being careful and being passive and tentative.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,097
4,843
113
#12
You may bump into your future spouse at your local grocery store in the produce aisle as you are thumping the honeydews to see which one is ripe for the taking.
If that happens, maybe she can teach him how to find a ripe honeydew. You don't thump them, you run your hand across the surface. If it feels tacky it is ripe. This only works if the surface is dry - wet honeydew feel tacky whether they are ripe or not.

The same works for watermelons, but instead of tacky you feel for bumpy. The more small bumps on the skin, the riper the watermelon.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,168
13,459
113
66
Tennessee
#13
The first step is meeting a woman... That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I don’t have any interaction with single Christian women. Kind of hard to meet someone that way. I’m looking to change that. I just don’t know how. And I felt the need to be single for while as I grew in faith and reconciled my past. But now I feel called to pursue marriage. I’m not going to rush into marriage with anyone.
Once you have found the one that is your heart's desire there is not much point in a much extensive dating process and lengthy engagement wasting precious months and years. You either know what you desire or you don't. I do agree that if a man is contemplating a relationship with a woman leading to marriage the first step is to meet such a woman, hopefully a woman that God has prepared for you. My counsel is to not waste your time dating a woman that you would not consider marrying. This should be evident after several dates. She is either the one that you want or she's not and the feeling is mutual.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,168
13,459
113
66
Tennessee
#14
If that happens, maybe she can teach him how to find a ripe honeydew. You don't thump them, you run your hand across the surface. If it feels tacky it is ripe. This only works if the surface is dry - wet honeydew feel tacky whether they are ripe or not.

The same works for watermelons, but instead of tacky you feel for bumpy. The more small bumps on the skin, the riper the watermelon.
I really don't know squat about picking out a ripe honeydew melon so I will take your word for this in how to properly pick out ripe luscious produce. :)
 

Jan7777777

Active member
Oct 19, 2018
224
154
43
#15
I’m at the point where I’m feeling called to pursue marriage. But I don’t feel it’s good to fall back on my old habits of meeting women online. My church is small and there are no single women even close to my age. The other church groups I’m in are all men’s groups and I love the fellowship. But I have no interaction with women in general let alone Christian women. I’m certainly open to ideas on how to meet and interact with Christian women.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember God brought Eve to Adam? <==(Gen 2:22) well, his word says … But Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you. Matt.6:33
 
W

WIbaptist

Guest
#16
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember God brought Eve to Adam? <==(Gen 2:22) well, his word says … But Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you. Matt.6:33
It isn’t likely that I will be put to sleep and have a woman made from my rib and miraculously brought to my door.

Seek FIRST the kingdom of God. Not ONLY. We are never told not to seek after what we desire. We are told not to be anxious about it and to seek God first.
 
Jul 29, 2018
55
45
18
41
NYC, NY
#17
After praying and expressing my dilemma to one of the men’s groups I meet with. I was led to a resource. One of the churches in my area has a weeknight singles service for young adults (18-39). I’ll be checking it out this week. Thanks for the prayers and ideas.
T
It isn’t likely that I will be put to sleep and have a woman made from my rib and miraculously brought to my door.

Seek FIRST the kingdom of God. Not ONLY. We are never told not to seek after what we desire. We are told not to be anxious about it and to seek God first.
Amen. Seeking His will above my own. 🙏
 

gideon007

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2012
494
7
18
#18
I feel you mate and as much as i'd like to give a piece of advise but it looks like i also need of it as well 😂😂😂