"I Like Big BUT's And I Cannot Lie..." So What Are YOUR Biggest But's?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,251
2,607
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

Most of us remember that the thread title is a song lyric -- so if we put a practical twist to the words, how often do we find that this applies to our own lives?

A while back, I was talking to a friend and started to say something like this: "I think things went well..." to which he dryly interjected, "Except that I'm sensing a big 'BUT' is about to be dropped." Eventually, he went on to point out that a good number of my stories start out the exact same way, only to have a big BUT plopped down immediately after the first sentence.

How many of us do this all the time?

* "I really like so-and-so, BUT."

* "I want to find another job, BUT."

* "I want to lose weight, BUT."

* "I want to get out there and find someone, BUT."

* "I want to go back to school and better myself, BUT."

To be honest, I didn't even realize how many times I say "BUT" after making a statement, and it's really had me thinking about what kinds of excuses and/or negativity I've allowed into my daily thinking, and what I need to do about it.

BUT.

I really wanted to work out this morning in order to clear my head first, BUT, here I am, writing out a thread idea on CC. :) How about the rest of you?

* What are some of the biggest BUT's in your life, and how did they get there?

* Why do you hang on to your BUT's? Do they protect you from things you'd rather not face? Do the goals you want to achieve seem too far out of reach? What would put them more within reach?

* What steps are you taking to get rid of some of the biggest BUT's in your life, or at least, shrink the down a little?

I'm really hoping to get rid of a few BUT's in my own life... What about you?
 

LaraRose

New member
Oct 6, 2019
10
6
3
#2
Love this thread! Great topic & level of honesty. Thnx, seoulsearch.

First off, I have to say I do have a pretty big butt! A local here likes to say; 'she has the most nubile arse in the shire'. Its his favourite compliment - watch out J Lo! One of my repeat stories about my butt occurred when I got off @ my tube stop one night after work (I was living in London back then, & am now in my home country of Aus) & a handsome African man who had been eyeing me came up from behind & said; 'excuse me Madam, do you know you have the arse of an African woman? May I take you for a cocktail & ask you to marry me?'

We did, he did, & I didn't.
(go for cocktails), (ask me to marry him), (marry him).

He was persistent, & took me out every weekend for many years, & every date he asked me to marry him. I was about the only glow in the dark white girl who was allowed into a 'black only' club. I think my big butt was the ticket.

So - what are my other big but's? Definitely going out to meet other people. This is a major one for me. I have become a hermit.

For the last few months I've been saying to myself; 'maybe Im not ready to 're-socialise' but surely I can get myself to church ... BBBBUUUUUUTTTTT ... I live too far away, don't know which one to go to .. don't have a sense of belonging, etc etc etc.

I consider myself a Christian in transition. Just over four years ago I was a well known shamanic practitioner who was always busy, popular, & generally in contact with others. Then my world (ego structure) fell apart & I was left with no grounding, no identity, & career to speak of & no social life. From 'hero' to 'zero'. LOL.

I'm genuinely grateful to have had my old life destroyed ... however its been quite a lonely journey, & I'm now feeling a desire to connect with others. Thats one of the major reasons I joined this forum. Another is that I don't yet know any local Christians, & Im keen to ask a thousand questions. Im seriously in a town of shaman, witches, warlocks & hippies! I guess I should pack up & leave town for somewhere more God conscious ... BBBBBUUUUUUTTTT ....

Oh yeah ... & I would love to get my fitness on, like yourself, its just that, well ... you know .. I have every intention to ...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
31,839
9,843
113
65
Florida
#3
An engineer friend once told me that the word 'but' means beneath the underlying truth. It is a clarification of the intent of what was previously stated. I try to avoid the use of this word if possible.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,014
2,147
113
#4
I would like to lose weight but I’m lazy and like not healthy foods. Hehe!
 

LaraRose

New member
Oct 6, 2019
10
6
3
#5
An engineer friend once told me that the word 'but' means beneath the underlying truth. It is a clarification of the intent of what was previously stated. I try to avoid the use of this word if possible.
In general. I concur with the notion of avoiding the use of the word as much as possible. I often substitute the word 'yet', if I can't find another more appropriate way to structure my sentence.

Yet, however, but .. in this particular instance ... ;)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
31,839
9,843
113
65
Florida
#6
In general. I concur with the notion of avoiding the use of the word as much as possible. I often substitute the word 'yet', if I can't find another more appropriate way to structure my sentence.

Yet, however, but .. in this particular instance ... ;)
This instance is yet a classic example of beneath the underlying truth but merits consideration as it pertains to this particular situation. :)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
31,839
9,843
113
65
Florida
#7
Love this thread! Great topic & level of honesty. Thnx, seoulsearch.

First off, I have to say I do have a pretty big butt! A local here likes to say; 'she has the most nubile arse in the shire'. Its his favourite compliment - watch out J Lo! One of my repeat stories about my butt occurred when I got off @ my tube stop one night after work (I was living in London back then, & am now in my home country of Aus) & a handsome African man who had been eyeing me came up from behind & said; 'excuse me Madam, do you know you have the arse of an African woman? May I take you for a cocktail & ask you to marry me?'

We did, he did, & I didn't.
(go for cocktails), (ask me to marry him), (marry him).

He was persistent, & took me out every weekend for many years, & every date he asked me to marry him. I was about the only glow in the dark white girl who was allowed into a 'black only' club. I think my big butt was the ticket.

So - what are my other big but's? Definitely going out to meet other people. This is a major one for me. I have become a hermit.

For the last few months I've been saying to myself; 'maybe Im not ready to 're-socialise' but surely I can get myself to church ... BBBBUUUUUUTTTTT ... I live too far away, don't know which one to go to .. don't have a sense of belonging, etc etc etc.

I consider myself a Christian in transition. Just over four years ago I was a well known shamanic practitioner who was always busy, popular, & generally in contact with others. Then my world (ego structure) fell apart & I was left with no grounding, no identity, & career to speak of & no social life. From 'hero' to 'zero'. LOL.

I'm genuinely grateful to have had my old life destroyed ... however its been quite a lonely journey, & I'm now feeling a desire to connect with others. Thats one of the major reasons I joined this forum. Another is that I don't yet know any local Christians, & Im keen to ask a thousand questions. Im seriously in a town of shaman, witches, warlocks & hippies! I guess I should pack up & leave town for somewhere more God conscious ... BBBBBUUUUUUTTTT ....

Oh yeah ... & I would love to get my fitness on, like yourself, its just that, well ... you know .. I have every intention to ...
I found this post delightful and profound in its content.
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#8
This is another interesting topic Kim.
I keep struggling with some self sabotage when life looks like it might change or be different. As much as some of those things are goals for me, there is also a fear of the unknown. Weight loss has been a big one for me. Every time I get near my first major goal, I end up binging and packing on some bloated water weight. I think there is a fear of being seen. Being fat allows me to stay hidden in a lot of ways. Past a certain age, people don‘t bother me about my weight too much except for the odd woman who feels the need to let me know how unappealing I am? I guess they are scared I will start fancying them.

i think most pushback against change for the better is something similar. I find myself unmotivated at school later more and more as I get closer to being finished. So much of my life has been wanting to have a degree and improve myself. It’s like the reality of not having that in front of me for much longer is also sort of scary.

if you feel like things are holding you back you can at least expect to get more of the same.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,409
1,463
113
#9
My biggest but's are probably But I don't know how to get started and But I can't really relate to that.

Also but people are stupid

On a more lighthearted note:

* "I really like so-and-so, BUT sometimes he can be a real such and such.

* "I want to find another job, BUT no one wants to pay me to sit at home and play video games"

* "I want to lose weight, BUT I might shrink out of some of my favorite clothes."

* "I want to get out there and find someone, BUT then they'd interfere with my alone time."

* "I want to go back to school and better myself, BUT I'm so wonderful I don't know how I could be better :p"

And later I really should come back and give more serious answers, BUT this thread has the potential to hit a bit too close to home. My big BUTs let me excuse a lack of effort by telling me that I won't succeed anyway so it's better not to waste all that effort trying. So I don't so much want to tell the world what a lazy scaredy cat I can be.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
7,668
2,763
113
#10
I dont really have them myself, I tend to find its other people who always have 'BUT' when I want to do something.

Eg. In my job. I have ideas BUT we have no budget or resources to run with them.
Or this is a great idea BUT you need everyone else needs to agree to it first. And then I am waiting for that key person who is dragging their BUT.

Sometimes its better to do it first and ask forgiveness later. Otherwise one never does anything. You have got to do something with your life and the brains God gave you and make it count. Dont hide your talent in the ground!

Feel the fear and do it anyway...what have you got to lose? There is no fear in love, perfect love casts out all fear.
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,263
959
113
#11
"But.....but........but....." from "Chantilly Lace" by Jiles Perry "The Big Bopper" Richardson. :cool:
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#12
The pain of not finding a job where someone pays me to sit on the couch and surf or play games is real.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
7,668
2,763
113
#13
The pain of not finding a job where someone pays me to sit on the couch and surf or play games is real.
Be glad nobody does cos then it would be work and youd get bored of it.
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#15
Be glad nobody does cos then it would be work and youd get bored of it.
To be fair, most open world “live service” type games already feel like work. Getting paid to play would make them more enjoyable.
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
10,411
2,386
113
#17
JAMES 1:8.
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

BUTT = I guess James doesn't KNOW what he is talking about!!!
but,
not really sure about that!!!
:):)
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
10,411
2,386
113
#18
and so, = I'd rather do what 'pleases ME' instead of what pleases The One whom i profess to love and serve?
something doesn't ADD-UP here!!!
personal preferences 'out-weigh' what God requires???
blind-eye??? - ego??? - spelled???
your JOB is a choice, maybe not for all, but you will know if it's yours, and you have to answer and pay the price...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
15,985
3,506
113
#19
I have been waiting all day at w*rk until I could come home to a real keyboard and post this.




"Look I'm not a big fan of the Spanish Inquisition OR predatory multi-level marketing schemes..."
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
7,668
2,763
113
#20
To be fair, most open world “live service” type games already feel like work. Getting paid to play would make them more enjoyable.
Really what what you do with the money, play more games? Videos games are a bore to most people. Im sure people that play them just dont have anything better to do with their time.

I remember one workmate was addicted to a game called world of warcraft, and spent half his life on it. You could never have a conversation with him as he just spent all his time punching buttons. Also some players are hogs and sore losers. You dont want to play with those sorts of people.