"I Love You." "Prove It!" (Part 1.)

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seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,773
353
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#1
Greetings, Everyone. :)

I recently saw a fragrance commercial that begins with a young, beautiful actress who is supposedly arguing with her significant other, and he is heard off-camera declaring, "I love you," to which she challenges him, "Prove it!"

The next 20 seconds are then a hodgepodge of supposed dramatic re-enactments of what it means to "prove one's love", which, according to this commercial, apparently consists of holding hands, jumping off piers into deep waters while dressed in full formal attire, screaming at and pushing each other out of the way, then later holding each other close, and still later yet, storming off in a huff, speeding away in a convertible with your friends.

It's interesting to me that it seems so many people in today's world translate "love" as being "drama", and sometimes it seems as if the more drama there is, the more a person loves you.

So many people are looking for someone to "prove" his or her love, because deep down, many of us are looking for that person whom we believe would jump off a pier with us while holding our hand... and more importantly, someone who will fight to not only earn but keep our love, and, ultimately, love us so much that they would do anything to protect us or stay by our side, even if it would cost the person their very own life.

We want someone who can "prove" that they love us... possibly enough to die for us, if that's what it took.

But why is that?

Is it because we have a God who already set the ultimate standard by dying for us in the first place?

How important is it that someone "prove their love" to you, and what extremes would you expect them to go through in order to do so? (And maybe you are someone who doesn't expect love to be dramatic or have extreme highs or lows--please feel free to share, because all thoughts, whether extreme or in the middle, are most certainly welcome.)

Right now I want to discuss the thought of "why" we want someone to not only love us, but to "prove" that they "actually do." I know that on its own, this thread is going to sound a bit one-sided and selfish.

But depending on how this discussion goes, I have an idea for a sequel that will hopefully encompass a more two-sided view of the topic. :)

God bless, and thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. :)
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#2
Fear of one changing their mind. Without Acts you may not know when they fall out of love, if they fall out of love..

Went through it and I didn't know until he was ready for me to move out and her to move in...

We were beyond the "honeymoon" phase and everything was day to day.. never thought much of it..

Now it's like I have to know.. the willingness to do anything is enough for me
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,220
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#3
I'd die for anyone..... except the guys in prison, who say they are going to kill me. I'm waiting for them to try and make good on their word.


When I'm old, dying on my death bed, seeing them there at the end, is all the evidence I need. So far, I've never had it last that long.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
7,411
522
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#4
If a girl can have dinner with me, without staring at my big round eyeball...

that's proof enough for me.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
525
18
18
#5
I would say that love in general is more of a verb really more then it is a feeling that's usually just lust for the world but yes love should come with passion i believe but love has to be proved because it's not just something you feel or like about someone it's the action God loved us by creating us and all the other things he's done and will do. If we say we love him and don't keep his commands we lie so action is at the least proof of love and talk is cheap especially these days, and with women its even worse so yea idk of that helps or makes sense but there you go dude.
 

Pipp

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2013
3,968
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#7
James 2: 17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

I believe


It's hard to have faith in the words "I love you" with no proof.... In a relationship if you say you love me , but treat me no different than every other female. ..then it's gonna be hard for me to think you find me any more special than every other girl.


It made sense in my head.... lol
 
L

La_Vie_En_Rose

Guest
#8
I don’t believe love has to be “proved”. If you are constantly trying to prove your love to the other, you will end up feeling unloved, hurt, and weary. This is what happened to me. He constantly goes on and on about love being actions. Nothing I did was ever good enough, I could not do anything to “prove” it. You either love someone or you don’t.

We don’t have to earn God’s love. He gives it freely and to all. He loves the serial killers just as much as He loves the missionaries. We should not have to earn people’s love, either.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
525
18
18
#9
I don’t believe love has to be “proved”. If you are constantly trying to prove your love to the other, you will end up feeling unloved, hurt, and weary. This is what happened to me. He constantly goes on and on about love being actions. Nothing I did was ever good enough, I could not do anything to “prove” it. You either love someone or you don’t.

We don’t have to earn God’s love. He gives it freely and to all. He loves the serial killers just as much as He loves the missionaries. We should not have to earn people’s love, either.
I completely agree but one proof of love is your actions is all im trying to say i dont think love is entirely an emotion tho or a feeling it's much more complicated then that but you have a point
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,681
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#10
King Francis was a hearty king, and loved a royal sport,
And one day, as his lions fought, sat looking on the court.
The nobles filled the benches, with the ladies in their pride,
And 'mongst them sat the Count de Lorge, with one for whom he sighed:
And truly 'twas a gallant thing to see that crowning show,
Valor and love, and a king above, and the royal beasts below.

Ramped and roared the lions, with horrid laughing jaws;
They bit, they glared, gave blows like beams, a wind went with their paws;
With wallowing might and stifled roar they rolled on one another,
Till all the pit with sand and mane was in a thunderous smother;
The bloody foam above the bars came whisking through the air;
Said Francis then, "Faith, gentlemen, we're better here than there."

De Lorge's love o'er heard the King, a beauteous lively dame,
With smiling lips and sharp bright eyes, which always seemed the same;
She thought, The Count my lover is brave as brave can be;
He surely would do wondrous things to show his love of me;
King, ladies, lovers, all look on; the occasion is divine;
I'll drop my glove, to prove his love; great glory will be mine.

She dropped her glove, to prove his love, then looked at him and smiled;
He bowed, and in a moment leaped among the lions wild:
The leap was quick, return was quick, he has regained his place,
Then threw the glove, but not with love, right in the lady's face.
"By Heaven," said Francis, "rightly done!" and he rose from where he sat;
"No love," quoth he, "but vanity, sets love a task like that."
-- James Leigh Hunt


As for me, I have no idea what I would do to prove my love to a lady, nor have I any idea what she would do to prove her love for me. But if I did something for her it would be because I thought she would enjoy it or be assisted by it, not because I wanted to prove to her that I loved her.

Washing dishes, mowing the yard, taking out the trash, all the chores one person might hate and another person doesn't really mind doing - to me that is proof of love. Not that one person is EAGER to wash the dishes, but if the person knows the spouse really hates washing dishes, then that person just naturally does it.

Seeing something in the store that one person knows the spouse will really like, buying it, wrapping it as a present and giving it to the spouse. "Oh, what's the occasion?" "Because... um... it's Thursday. Happy Thursday! Open it, open it!"

If one person demands proof of another's love, all that will be gained is a performance. If there really is love, I believe all a person must do is look for the proof as it comes.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,681
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#11
This thread reminds me of an Arlo & Janis cartoon. Janis is taking a bath and Arlo pokes his head in the bathroom. "Yes?" "Just checking on you."

Arlo walks away thinking to himself, "She has her ways of checking the health of our relationship, I have mine." He was really checking whether the bathroom door was locked while she was taking a bath.
 
Jul 20, 2017
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#12
Because putting up with drama is not proof you love someone. Everybody has to do that.

If you really loved someone you would never scream at them or insult them. Not once in your life. If you love someone truly you wont need proof. They will just feel it and see it clearly in your eye.
 

WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
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Row A, Column 9
#13
To prove their love to me, one must buy for me an order of two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,773
353
83
#14
Hey Peeps,

Thank you for sharing--there have been some great answers here and I hope people will keep 'em coming.

One thing I've been thinking about, and maybe this is just my own perspective, but it seems to me that even God requires a show of proof when it comes to love: after all, He has more than gone out of His way to prove His love for us, and the Bible says that we show love for God by obeying His commandments.

We can't just say that we love God and then live immoral lives--the Bible teaches that true love for God will produce good fruits.

But it also has me wondering... Is proof of love (via actions) a bit of a privilege that only God can expect or demand?

Are we, as human beings, allowed to expect or require genuine love through actions from other people?
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,681
352
83
#15
God does not want us to do things to prove we love Him. God wants us to do some things because we love Him. The difference is semantically tiny, but intentionally vast.

I don't help people around me and then say "See God, I'm doing this to prove I love You." I help people around me because God loves them just as much as He loves me, and I want to help them because the God I love cares about them.

I don't follow God's rules because I'm proving how much I love God. I follow them because the God who loves me made those rules to keep me from things that will always cause harm to me. I trust that God loves me, so I trust the rules God set are for my good. (And besides, I can see the results of the other choices from watching all the people who break those rules...)

God never demanded of me proof that I love Him. All God ever did was show me a better way to live, show me WHY it was a better way, and let me make the choice whether I would follow it or not. Usually I do follow it. Occasionally I don't. But when I do follow it, I'm not proving to God that I love Him, and when I don't follow it I'm not proving to God that I don't love Him.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,681
352
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#16
The problem with trying to prove you love somebody is, when you stop does that mean you stop loving the person? "Absence of proof is not proof of absence" but it is often taken as proof of absence. If your effort goes into proving that you love somebody, eventually a person gets weary of it. Even the person who is receiving the proof will get tired of it eventually, and either wander off to somebody else or become jaded and demand ever-greater proof.

Actually that's not THE problem with trying to prove you love somebody, it's only one of the problems. But it's a significant one, and one that a lot of young people fail to foresee until they have sunk a lot of time and effort into a relationship that winds up going nowhere.
 
Jul 25, 2015
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#17
This may be thought of as simplistic but in my own experience you don’t have to ask anyone to prove they love you because if you pay attention their words, actions, efforts, and behaviors will very clearly show you.

Again, only in my experience but actions do speak louder than words.

I love you is a statement that is so abused and misused that it has lost its depth of meaning causing people to seek proof.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,518
1,154
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#18
I don’t believe love has to be “proved”. If you are constantly trying to prove your love to the other, you will end up feeling unloved, hurt, and weary. This is what happened to me. He constantly goes on and on about love being actions. Nothing I did was ever good enough, I could not do anything to “prove” it. You either love someone or you don’t.

We don’t have to earn God’s love. He gives it freely and to all. He loves the serial killers just as much as He loves the missionaries. We should not have to earn people’s love, either.
I believe that love is a gift from God that is meant to be shared including romantic love in a relationship.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,518
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#19
Actions speak louder than words.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,220
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#20
Love is a burning thing, and it makes a firey ring.