"If You Want to Have Sex, Get Married." Ok. But What If You Want to Have Sex, and You're ALREADY Married?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,302
5,941
113
Besides...I got a Black forest cake to concern myself with
Great. Now I have a black forest cake to concern myself with. Any left? I'll be right over.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,870
3,887
113
Man, this happens often to a lot of people in the church
It's funny because I know we're suppose to read the Bible to get closer to God -- and that's most certainly one of the reasons I do.

But my biggest reason for really digging into the Bible was as a form of spiritual karate -- I had to learn to defend myself from Christians who were constantly trying to (as I always say) make me more like them, rather than what God calls me to be.

For those who are trying to spiritually manipulate you, the Bible is their biggest ally, so I've had no choice but to try to keep on studying it as much as I can.

And I honestly feel like the purpose of my Bible study is a bit different than most -- I feel that I am called to warn people of the wrongdoing INSIDE the church more than outside, and that often means confronting people who know the Bible a whole lot better than I do.

One of the biggest concerns I have over newer believers are stronger Christians whose number one priority isn't making people like Christ -- it's making Christians they deem weaker than they are into clones of themselves.

The wolves who prey on the sheep, but from within.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,302
5,941
113
You know, I didn't even finish reading your post, nor will I bother to read the other three responses I see that you've left me.

Why?

Because this one is full of the same type of over-exaggerations and veiled accusations as your post from last night ("long diatribe", "going on", etc.).

News flash, seoul.

I'm full of humanity, even if others here might think I'm full of something else.

You're called to the hurting?

Well, if you've ever heard and believed a word that I've said, then you would know that my ex was sexually molested by her own father repeatedly between the ages of 5 and 6 years old, and that I spent the bulk of our 17 year marriage compassionately seeking to help her while also driving her to counselors galore, and she was basically seeking to destroy me for about 16 of those 17 years. Then there's my last girlfriend who I just mentioned again last night. Yep, raped by her mother's boyfriend at 4 years old, thrown into an abusive foster care system, and she subsequently entered in a life of prostitution for many years. She would be the first to tell you how compassionate I was towards her, but to hear you speak, unlike you, I'm just an inhuman being who "bombards" people with scripture and wants everybody else to do the same.

Try listening to what people actually have to say in the future would be my last piece of advice to you.

Farewell.
Last night you said a lot of things about seoulsearch that are not true.

Fortunately this is nothing new for her, as people make assumptions about her all the time. She's used to it and she usually blithely ignores those who make such assumptions.

If she took the time to correct your assumptions instead of just ignoring you, that's a good thing. It means she thought you were intelligent enough to take the correction. Hmm... looks like this time she was wrong. Oh well.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,870
3,887
113
One of the biggest concerns I have over newer believers are stronger Christians whose number one priority isn't making people like Christ -- it's making Christians they deem weaker than they are into clones of themselves.

The wolves who prey on the sheep, but from within.
The most challenging problem with those who do this is that they never, and never will in this lifetime, see themselves as wolves.

Rather, they believe that they are the one and only true representatives from God.

My sole reason for carrying on in this conversation is to hopefully inspire others to stand up to those who are trying to spiritually manipulate them.

And yes, in my experience, it's going to take a LOT of Bible study, because it's the only way you can learn to recognize and resist it.

This is why I usually save most of my discussions regarding what I study with other believers who are have a lot more knowledge and experience than I do, but aren't trying to turn me into them.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,589
1,642
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But my biggest reason for really digging into the Bible was as a form of spiritual karate -- I had to learn to defend myself from Christians who were constantly trying to (as I always say) make me more like them, not God.
I should be reading the Bible a lot more than I have been. It better equips you from the manipulation others try to use for their benefit. I tend to just move on from those who want you to be more like them, than point you to God.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,870
3,887
113
I should be reading the Bible a lot more than I have been. It better equips you from the manipulation others try to use for their benefit. I tend to just move on from those who want you to be more like them, than point you to God.
Amen, Brother Mike.

And now... I'm going to derail my own thread.

So... Paris!?!!! How was it?

It's good to see you back!!! How have you been? :)
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,589
1,642
113
There are 5000 denominations... which one is right? Who is right? I love and follow Jesus... denominations and legalistic manipulations won't be in Heaven.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,589
1,642
113
Amen, Brother Mike.

And now... I'm going to derail my own thread.

So... Paris!?!!! How was it?

It's good to see you back!!! How have you been? :)
Sorry for derailing your thread... sometimes I just have to get out thoughts that might not even pertain to a thread lol

Enjoying married life... it's never perfect but the right one for you will work itself out

Italy and France was amazing. Things we read about have come to life. cultures, food, God's creation... all amazing

It's worth saving up for and going.

How have you been?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,870
3,887
113
Sorry for derailing your thread... sometimes I just have to get out thoughts that might not even pertain to a thread lol

Enjoying married life... it's never perfect but the right one for you will work itself out

Italy and France was amazing. Things we read about have come to life. cultures, food, God's creation... all amazing

It's worth saving up for and going.

How have you been?
Congrats on your new marriage!!

That's so awesome to hear -- gives hope to the rest of us! And even if we don't get married, it's nice to hear from people who can give us singles useful advice.

Sounds like an amazing trip! And you don't have to apologize for derailing -- these threads are to help people get their thoughts out.

Ask any of the "regulars" here -- they'll tell you that I derail my own threads more than anyone else, so go right ahead. :)

Things have been ok. Just been going through some medical stuff... I don't usually post much about my private life but I am so thankful that I'm going to post this.

The doctors had to take care of some abnormal polyps I had -- but were able to confirm that I DON'T have cancer, as far as they can tell, as this is the second time this has happened. I was pretty stressed out for a while.

But I am ever so thankful, even more so to my parents, who helped me through recovery, and my chat friends, who listened to me blather on the entire time (when I get stressed, I tend to write a lot), even when I was sick and grumpy. :) (Who am I kidding, that's me most of the time...) :D

Hope to see you around more, Mike! And Mrs. Mike as well. :)
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,589
1,642
113
Well I tried to add more pics but the files were too large... when I have time I'll crop and post later.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,870
3,887
113
I know they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but for once, I don't have the words!!

Truly breathtaking.

Thanks so much for sharing! Please feel free to post more if you would like!

I went up to the top of the Eiffel Tower once, but that was many years ago.

God willing, would love to go back someday. :)
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,589
1,642
113
Congrats on your new marriage!!

That's so awesome to hear -- gives hope to the rest of us! And even if we don't get married, it's nice to hear from people who can give us singles useful advice.

Sounds like an amazing trip! And you don't have to apologize for derailing -- these threads are to help people get their thoughts out.

Ask any of the "regulars" here -- they'll tell you that I derail my own threads more than anyone else, so go right ahead. :)

Things have been ok. Just been going through some medical stuff... I don't usually post much about my private life but I am so thankful that I'm going to post this.

The doctors had to take care of some abnormal polyps I had -- but were able to confirm that I DON'T have cancer, as far as they can tell, as this is the second time this has happened. I was pretty stressed out for a while.

But I am ever so thankful, even more so to my parents, who helped me through recovery, and my chat friends, who listened to me blather on the entire time (when I get stressed, I tend to write a lot), even when I was sick and grumpy. :) (Who am I kidding, that's me most of the time...) :D

Hope to see you around more, Mike! And Mrs. Mike as well. :)
Thanks! God is good... always good

Useful advice to all singles... take your time and don't rush to get married. Go seek a pre marital counselor to discover and talk about everything before making a big decision! :) Of course, seek His peace in the decision as well.

Praise God you don't have cancer! God is in control and thankful He is watching out for you :)

Always good to reflect and give thanks to those who helped you go through it. Glad it didn't become a big issue.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,589
1,642
113
I know they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but for once, I don't have the words!!

Truly breathtaking.

Thanks so much for sharing! Please feel free to post more if you would like!

I went up to the top of the Eiffel Tower once, but that was many years ago.

God willing, would love to go back someday. :)
We were only in Paris for 3 days, but did get to go up the Eiffel Tower. Great views of Paris and the macaroon on the tower (I believe it was from Pierre Herme) was the best we had in Paris
 

jennymae

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2020
801
376
63
38
I’m not sure if I should be venturing into this, but I have to say that I agree with what you have said here on this thread, @seoulsearch. Many Christians seem to just be in it for the opportunity to correct and discipline others into becoming clones of themselves. I have known you for many years now and I have learned that your ways are so far from a mindset like that. Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I’d would definitely turn to you rather than people sprinkling me with Bible verses.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
2,761
1,276
113
Great. Now I have a black forest cake to concern myself with. Any left? I'll be right over.
This one is just for eating....not set up for retailing and I don't know how I'm going to transport the thing either.

Mrs and I shouldn't eat the whole thing. It's made from four layers of 9" cakes I baked yesterday morning.

So I haven't finished it yet and I have to transport it at the same time.

I got two meetings today. My Coffee roaster is one of those. And I need a patch on one of my tires too. (Slowly leaking air at like a lb to half a lb per day)

So maybe I'll get to it tomorrow....
20220622_210943_50.jpg
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,870
3,887
113
I’m not sure if I should be venturing into this, but I have to say that I agree with what you have said here on this thread, @seoulsearch. Many Christians seem to just be in it for the opportunity to correct and discipline others into becoming clones of themselves. I have known you for many years now and I have learned that your ways are so far from a mindset like that. Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I’d would definitely turn to you rather than people sprinkling me with Bible verses.
I really appreciate this, Jenny. I had always noticed this too throughout my time growing up (people more interested in others as their own personal convert than as a person,) and I was always asking God for something different. My worst fear was (and still is) that in order to be a "real" Christian, I had to become a Stepford clone of people like that.

I have fought tooth and nail not to be my whole life. Now of course, if God wants me to be something else -- I'm in big trouble! But I trust that He'll do what it takes to keep working on making me into what He wants me to be.

We always say God works in mysterious ways... Years ago, an inmate wrote me and said, "You know, I think God is telling me that your calling is going to be something people aren't used to seeing, and they're not going to understand it because of that."

And he told me to buck up and get ready because the criticism was coming.

Boy, was he ever on the money! Lol. And he always reminds me that we are Christian SOLDIERS, so I'd better not be moping around crying about it! Lol.

You are a wonderful person Jenny, and some of the things I appreciate most about you is your willingness to be upfront and your awesome sense of humor.

Thank you so much to you and others for taking the time to post.

I greatly appreciate it and it deeply touches my heart that people have taken the time to get to know me here, even if it's just through the things I say -- and also don't say -- through my messages and posts.

It's that old saying...

Sometimes we say more with what we DON'T say than with what we do (even though I know some would laugh and say, "How can there possibly be anything she hasn't said?!") :D

Thank you so much again! Big hugs!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,870
3,887
113
This one is just for eating....not set up for retailing and I don't know how I'm going to transport the thing either.

Mrs and I shouldn't eat the whole thing. It's made from four layers of 9" cakes I baked yesterday morning.

So I haven't finished it yet and I have to transport it at the same time.

I got two meetings today. My Coffee roaster is one of those. And I need a patch on one of my tires too. (Slowly leaking air at like a lb to half a lb per day)

So maybe I'll get to it tomorrow....
View attachment 240936

That's it.

Forget marriage.

I just need that cake! (Yes, the WHOLE cake.)

Let us know how your meeting goes, and I hope they patch your tire in a jiffy!

P.S. If we ever have another meetup in TN, we are DEFINITELY going to make every effort to stop by your (hopefully) future shop! I'm sure we would collectively try to order almost one of everything!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,302
5,941
113
This one is just for eating....not set up for retailing and I don't know how I'm going to transport the thing either.

Mrs and I shouldn't eat the whole thing. It's made from four layers of 9" cakes I baked yesterday morning.

So I haven't finished it yet and I have to transport it at the same time.

I got two meetings today. My Coffee roaster is one of those. And I need a patch on one of my tires too. (Slowly leaking air at like a lb to half a lb per day)

So maybe I'll get to it tomorrow....
View attachment 240936
Oh no need to bother yourself. I'll take that problem off your hands. That's what friends are for. :cool: