Internet, attention, illusions, hope and disappointment.

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T

toinena

Guest
#1
People are lonely and hurt in life and CC and other places on the Internet can be a good place to vent, be social and get the attention I and others don't get in real life.

Some might build an illuson of an internet persona. I could have chosen to have a profile that said I was super sportive and not mentioning my disability. Some might say they work as a nurse or even a MD, and they have been unemployed the last 20 years and not finished Senior High. Some might paint the illusion of pink brightness and they are really depressed. Others can play a role of being righteous and live a life of sin.

Internet has given us the keys to edit and audit and design ourselves to become someone we are not necessairly in real life. Is that a sin? Is it allowed to be an improoved version of yourself online?

Building that image or brand might give us more attention than we normally get in real life. Some crave that attention more than others, building their own crowd.

Some might collect likes and reps, even posting threads for the sole purpose to get more. It is also a comfirmation of who you are and that you are something, not just an insignificant nobody this boosting your self esteem. But when does it cross the line to be simply pride and vanity?

What are your thoughts on this?
Do you act like the true you online?
Have you ever been disappointed in someone not being who they say they are?
Have you ever craved attention and misinterpreted the attention you got?
Is it OK to flirt with people without any intentions of getting to know that person romantically?
Do you have any advice you would like to share with your other CC-ers?


I would really appreciate your thoughts.
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
21
18
#2
oh snap this is about to get serious up in here :p


Yes I agree, the internet is the canvas for artificial people...who create artificial lives but really have no meaning to their lives....


take facebook for instance...all of a sudden the average ho hum person can post a picture and get it viral on facebook and become a star....this in turn feeds the dopamine hit one receives from facebook likes/affirmation and gets the person addicted to facebook that they have to post inane status updates such as "im in the bathroom taking a dump"


without facebook these people would just go about their dull life and not be "noticed" in the world.....but all social media feeds narcissism.....people will come on here and argue with me that they are not narcissistic for posting videos or photos...but really ask yourself the question why do you post on social media? the bottom line is for the approval of others so that you may feel good about yourself....and therefore feed your own self love (narcissism).....
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,142
113
#3
I am actually the same in real life, as on the internet, but I have spent years trying to create myself.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,142
113
#4
I want to answer the question about flirting, I have never seen it as anything different than the sweet talk one might get from a waitress or something.

I could be wrong though.

What do you think, doll baby?
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
21
18
#5
Idk, I never engage in flirting as it just seems like words bandied about with sexual tension that just seems unnecessary. The only flirting should be with my spouse and no one else imo.....

I feel flirting is sort of being coy about intentions and I'd rather be upfront about if I liked someone rather than beat around the bush.....again these are just my opinions and experiences.....
 
T

toinena

Guest
#6
I want to answer the question about flirting, I have never seen it as anything different than the sweet talk one might get from a waitress or something.

I could be wrong though.

What do you think, doll baby?
I smile at people and make them feel comfortable. That is not flirting, but a way of interacting. To cross the flirting line, is different. It is, as Razor said, building a sexual tension between two, and that should be only when you are really into someone, if not married.

Flirting with others while you are married, is a strict no, no in my book.
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
21
18
#7
I think as society has "progressed" we have lost our restraint with "flirting".....sexual innuendo and double talk is thrown about so carelessly these days that if you compare it to the past some of the things mentioned would be severely frowned upon 50-60 years ago.....today its just "normal talk"
 
T

toinena

Guest
#8
I think as society has "progressed" we have lost our restraint with "flirting".....sexual innuendo and double talk is thrown about so carelessly these days that if you compare it to the past some of the things mentioned would be severely frowned upon 50-60 years ago.....today its just "normal talk"
What is the reason for this rapid decay? It started before the internet. Did TV make the real push making intimate scenes enter everyone's livingrooms?
 

Noose

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2016
4,398
771
113
#9
Idk, I never engage in flirting as it just seems like words bandied about with sexual tension that just seems unnecessary. The only flirting should be with my spouse and no one else imo.....

I feel flirting is sort of being coy about intentions and I'd rather be upfront about if I liked someone rather than beat around the bush.....again these are just my opinions and experiences.....
At 28, i think you lack experience; if you are interested in someone, you can't be direct with them. How would you feel if a lady you didn't know in anyway come up to you and told you that they loved you?
You might think they are promiscuous or use some kind of drugs. Flirting is an art and there's beauty in art, it entails making someone comfortable around you and winning over their trust.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
22,648
2,433
113
#10
Idk, I never engage in flirting as it just seems like words bandied about with sexual tension that just seems unnecessary. The only flirting should be with my spouse and no one else imo.....

I feel flirting is sort of being coy about intentions and I'd rather be upfront about if I liked someone rather than beat around the bush.....again these are just my opinions and experiences.....
I think flirting's ok if you're just trying to flatter someone you're attracted to, but if you go around flirting with more than one person then you're a player...
 

Noose

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2016
4,398
771
113
#11
I think as society has "progressed" we have lost our restraint with "flirting".....sexual innuendo and double talk is thrown about so carelessly these days that if you compare it to the past some of the things mentioned would be severely frowned upon 50-60 years ago.....today its just "normal talk"
I'd refer you to songs of Solomon, that's what flirtation is about.
 
Apr 30, 2018
54
5
0
#12
People are lonely and hurt in life and CC and other places on the Internet can be a good place to vent, be social and get the attention I and others don't get in real life.

Some might build an illuson of an internet persona. I could have chosen to have a profile that said I was super sportive and not mentioning my disability. Some might say they work as a nurse or even a MD, and they have been unemployed the last 20 years and not finished Senior High. Some might paint the illusion of pink brightness and they are really depressed. Others can play a role of being righteous and live a life of sin.

Internet has given us the keys to edit and audit and design ourselves to become someone we are not necessairly in real life. Is that a sin? Is it allowed to be an improoved version of yourself online?

Building that image or brand might give us more attention than we normally get in real life. Some crave that attention more than others, building their own crowd.

Some might collect likes and reps, even posting threads for the sole purpose to get more. It is also a comfirmation of who you are and that you are something, not just an insignificant nobody this boosting your self esteem. But when does it cross the line to be simply pride and vanity?

What are your thoughts on this?
Do you act like the true you online?
Have you ever been disappointed in someone not being who they say they are?
Have you ever craved attention and misinterpreted the attention you got?
Is it OK to flirt with people without any intentions of getting to know that person romantically?
Do you have any advice you would like to share with your other CC-ers?


I would really appreciate your thoughts.
i personally feel like it is deceitful for someone to pretend they are something they're not...I also think it's easy to get emotionally attached to people on line and to forget that, it's not real, unless you meet that person and get to know them which can potentially be dangerous at worst and difficult to make happen at best. I personally have unintentionally fallen in the trap of hurting others online and also had my heart broken on line...lonely people can be very vulnerable to attention from people who have wrong/sexual motives. I have also learnt that a lot of people on Christian darltinv sites have mental health issues that they are not open about, which can end up causing damage to others.
on the other hand, I have been very blessed by meeting Christians on this site but I'm still aware that not everyone can be trusted and it's good to be careful.
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
21
18
#13
At 28, i think you lack experience; if you are interested in someone, you can't be direct with them. How would you feel if a lady you didn't know in anyway come up to you and told you that they loved you?
You might think they are promiscuous or use some kind of drugs. Flirting is an art and there's beauty in art, it entails making someone comfortable around you and winning over their trust.
To dismiss me because of age is a bit presumptuous and further more not really valid to the discussion....first off there is a huge difference between actual love and "physical attraction (aka lust))......

if some woman who just saw me come out of a store and said she "loved me" I would be suspicious as they know nothing of my character, my habits, my likes/dislikes, who I associate with etc....they probably "lust" after me or liked my physical appearance....this is NOT love....

If a woman I have known for years told me she "loved me" then I would be more apt to believe it as they know many things about me (granted not all) but enough to make a wise/conscious decision as to whether I am "worth or not"....of their affection

Flirting is just manipulating and playing mind games with the opposite sex to hint at sexual desire towards them....in a way its sort of a power move in which one person is trying to dominate another person emotionally by manipulating them with crafty words with double meanings.....

I believe a person would respect another individual more if they were forthright with their intentions rather than playing mind games and making the person wonder is this person just being cute, actually serious, or just wasting my time...? do you see how those questions can have multiple answers when flirting whereas being direct would cut all the bs out of the way and just hit straight at the point....?
 
T

toinena

Guest
#14
I think it is a good reference you did there, Noose. The tradition tells us that he wrote that in his youth. I think you see how Solomon matured through his books in the Bible. And the wisdom he showed later in his life is what we should strive towards, not to endulge in the erotic nature of the Song of Songs
 

razor17

Senior Member
Aug 16, 2017
192
21
18
#15
I'd refer you to songs of Solomon, that's what flirtation is about.
Lol, I don't need solomon's sex crazed writings from S.o.S....im sticking with being direct with a woman and its been working in my life so why would I change my style when it works?
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#16
People are lonely and hurt in life and CC and other places on the Internet can be a good place to vent, be social and get the attention I and others don't get in real life.

Some might build an illuson of an internet persona. I could have chosen to have a profile that said I was super sportive and not mentioning my disability. Some might say they work as a nurse or even a MD, and they have been unemployed the last 20 years and not finished Senior High. Some might paint the illusion of pink brightness and they are really depressed. Others can play a role of being righteous and live a life of sin.

Internet has given us the keys to edit and audit and design ourselves to become someone we are not necessairly in real life. Is that a sin? Is it allowed to be an improoved version of yourself online?

Building that image or brand might give us more attention than we normally get in real life. Some crave that attention more than others, building their own crowd.

Some might collect likes and reps, even posting threads for the sole purpose to get more. It is also a comfirmation of who you are and that you are something, not just an insignificant nobody this boosting your self esteem. But when does it cross the line to be simply pride and vanity?

What are your thoughts on this?
Do you act like the true you online?
Have you ever been disappointed in someone not being who they say they are?
Have you ever craved attention and misinterpreted the attention you got?
Is it OK to flirt with people without any intentions of getting to know that person romantically?
Do you have any advice you would like to share with your other CC-ers?


I would really appreciate your thoughts.
1.when one claims they are perfect or better than everyone else
2.I think it's silly
3.Yes and no I act like my inward self but talking to me in person would be different despite this
4.not really,I don't get my hopes up enough to be disappointed typically though I have been surprised by changes in behaviour of friends
5.Yes often from making others laugh thinking people will be my friends though not always the case
6.I wouldn't know I really don't "flirt" at all I only joke with others though I guess that can be interpreted as flirting since my humor is silly or ironic
7.Yes posting a bunch of threads about love concerning multiple people is a sure way to reduce "sincerity".
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#17
To dismiss me because of age is a bit presumptuous and further more not really valid to the discussion....first off there is a huge difference between actual love and "physical attraction (aka lust))......

if some woman who just saw me come out of a store and said she "loved me" I would be suspicious as they know nothing of my character, my habits, my likes/dislikes, who I associate with etc....they probably "lust" after me or liked my physical appearance....this is NOT love....

If a woman I have known for years told me she "loved me" then I would be more apt to believe it as they know many things about me (granted not all) but enough to make a wise/conscious decision as to whether I am "worth or not"....of their affection

Flirting is just manipulating and playing mind games with the opposite sex to hint at sexual desire towards them....in a way its sort of a power move in which one person is trying to dominate another person emotionally by manipulating them with crafty words with double meanings.....

I believe a person would respect another individual more if they were forthright with their intentions rather than playing mind games and making the person wonder is this person just being cute, actually serious, or just wasting my time...? do you see how those questions can have multiple answers when flirting whereas being direct would cut all the bs out of the way and just hit straight at the point....?
Me on the other hand I would say it would be a fascinating experience to have a stalker since well,you know after 20 years one can get to wondering what it feels like to be "attractive" to the opposite gender.
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#18
I'd refer you to songs of Solomon, that's what flirtation is about.
or ask Bill g he shared a video about it that is hilarious especially the tower of Lebanon part,Solomon sure had a way with words or rather "got away" with words lol!