Kitchen Flirtations

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Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
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#22
Hiya tourist. Im the same lol
Often Martin helps me while cooking or doing dishes (more or less with me carefully watching every move lol) and often one gives the other a appreciation hug or a kiss on the forehead.
It surely brings people closer together :) For me actions like that are important.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#23
Hiya tourist. Im the same lol
Often Martin helps me while cooking or doing dishes (more or less with me carefully watching every move lol) and often one gives the other a appreciation hug or a kiss on the forehead.
It surely brings people closer together :) For me actions like that are important.
I feel the same way, not only actions like that are important but also essential in any healthy romantic relationship. He washes, you dry. Teamwork.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
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#24
I feel the same way, not only actions like that are important but also essential in any healthy romantic relationship. He washes, you dry. Teamwork.
yep and the other way around.. i hust gotta watch him all the time because he is a genius in breaking and burning things LOL!!
He has actually melted his water heater when I wasnt around :ROFL:
Its not just healthy for the romance but also psychologically. Knowing to be safe and feeling to be safe are two different things. knowing to be appreciated and feeling appreciated are two different things.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#25
yep and the other way around.. i hust gotta watch him all the time because he is a genius in breaking and burning things LOL!!
He has actually melted his water heater when I wasnt around :ROFL:
Its not just healthy for the romance but also psychologically. Knowing to be safe and feeling to be safe are two different things. knowing to be appreciated and feeling appreciated are two different things.
You definitely have a certain measure of wisdom of what's important in order to have a loving and enduring relationship. Your view and perception is quite refreshing. Right on target too.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,509
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#26
You definitely have a certain measure of wisdom of what's important in order to have a loving and enduring relationship. Your view and perception is quite refreshing. Right on target too.
Thing is.. I am not like the others my age. I am willing to work hard to make things work and not just jump from flower to flower. I hate seeing some people from school or that I havent seen a while.. some having 3 children from 3 different fathers and no education and ..
gaaaaaah awful
I am future oriented. Now of course if something breaks apart, it will but I will not let anything break and then look back knowing I could have done better. It makes me sad sometimes how some people think
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
13,415
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#27
The thing about dogs is that they love you unconditionally, and don't give you any yap except for an occasional yip when it's time to go potty. My two dogs were Lilo and Stitch but they are gone now. Now I have two cats Tango and Sugar and they love me too.
They do their little love dance all the while trying to trip you as you feed them their kibbles for the day.....Kitties flirt too ya know.
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,305
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#28
That was simply an amazing LOVE STORY that you have related. Very passionate and intimate, and yes, romantic as well. Ironic in the sense that this most fulfilling relationship was never consummated, but remains rather poetic in nature.

A woman with the love of God in her heart is truly beautiful indeed and that which also transcends into physical beauty because, after all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Without devotion there can never be true love for that is the beginning of romantic inclinations.

Perhaps most of us are victims of circumstance, and yet, with the grace of God we become more whole.

In heaven she will indeed be your sister, and yet, possibly more because we can only imagine what God has in store for those that love Him.

In one way or another the final chapter of this story has not concluded, there are still pages to turn and precious words yet to be written. It will be a must-read for sure. Probably a best seller.
This is great tourist thank you - I would say, however, that devotion is the apex of romantic inclination not the beginning. I would say we all face circumstances, but for a Christian none of us should be a victim of those circumstances. Yet, I agree - many are. But I would hope and have faith that not most are who are in Christ, but rather few are who are yet walking thru their walls with Him. Character in His Children is what God builds in us as well. We are probably saying the same thing here, but I read the word in its exact form is all and weigh in on it.

I believe the last Chapter of our story, the story of the young teenager and I, will be furthered only in the light and breath of Jesus and God Himself in the future, but as you say - these will still be precious Words - only they have already been written and accomplished in Christ in my prediction of what is to come that has yet to be experienced.

Let me ask you a question if I might. "What would be the apex, the summit, the top or highest point, the crescendo of romantic inclination for you, if devotion is only the beginning?"
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,305
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#29
without the coarse expression how can we appreciate the fine?
tourist - I would love for you to expound upon this idea. Are you suggesting to say goodness is not at all goodness without evil to highlight it? Does God therefore need evil to show His glory? If so why would He build the original earth to be without its knowledge in the Garden of Eden?

But I digress - in view of this topic in this thread - can you expound your thought here?
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#30
Disappointed so far that no one seems willing to share even a personal glimpse into how even an ordinary thing shared in a relationship can be an intimate and romantic encounter if your heart is open to that possibility, or if not currently in a relationship you imagine such an encounter happening. Even washing the dishes can be romantic as there are suds involved. Perhaps there is no one who is in a romantic relationship on this site or maybe the honeymoon is over and now the only thing to look forward to is taking out the trash. Even that can be a rewarding experience if that activity is shared with someone that you love. Maybe I'm just looking at things the wrong way, that could very well be because I am no expert on intimate romantic relationships. I did enjoy sharing the pizza that my wife made last night though. It was exceptional.
... Stumbled upon this ... after being away from the forums for a little while ... due to a deep need to reconnect with Christ.

As a single person ─ and for a good reason ─ this topic is uncomfortable for me. It's not that I hold it against anyone here that you like romance and affection and sexuality, all of which I assume are good for a person if they actually enjoy it. ... The thought that cycles through in my mind is that maybe I need to be obedient to God if there is a man out there who He wants me to have as a partner. Now, does that mean that I am romantic or that I have a heart for romance? No. What caused me to be the way that I am is so dark and upsetting that I'm not inclined to post in the forums, but I would be lying if I said that I wanted God to put it into my heart to like affection and romance because I don't. The last thing I want is for any man to put his hands on me, ever. That being said, I return to my original pondering: is a woman supposed to submit to a man that God puts into her life, even if she does not enjoy sex, touch, romance, affection, or even having a partner? Does a good Christian woman submit to God and to the man that He put into her life, even if it is incredibly upsetting for her on a daily basis? I wonder, is this the case or is it not the case? Any insight?

What I have hoped for is that God can remove any sexual desires that I may have. Mine seem to stem around trauma, which I wish I didn't have to endure the memories of on a daily basis. The only sexuality that I understand is related to my abuse. Because of this, I don't want to have anything to do with sex, so I have asked God to rid me of any latent desires that hide in the back of my mind and bother me when I least want them to.

Also, I dissociate horribly when I read or write or think about these things. At times I will be reading about this or typing about this and I will suddenly have dissociative amnesia and then have the memories and thought patterns of a small child. It's very unnerving. When confronted with the idea of someone even so much as considering to touch me, I slowly start to pan out of reality until I have no idea where I am or who I am. My mind is ridiculously fragile.

No romance for me ─ not even in my mind. Can't handle it.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,434
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#31
... Stumbled upon this ... after being away from the forums for a little while ... due to a deep need to reconnect with Christ.

As a single person ─ and for a good reason ─ this topic is uncomfortable for me. It's not that I hold it against anyone here that you like romance and affection and sexuality, all of which I assume are good for a person if they actually enjoy it. ... The thought that cycles through in my mind is that maybe I need to be obedient to God if there is a man out there who He wants me to have as a partner. Now, does that mean that I am romantic or that I have a heart for romance? No. What caused me to be the way that I am is so dark and upsetting that I'm not inclined to post in the forums, but I would be lying if I said that I wanted God to put it into my heart to like affection and romance because I don't. The last thing I want is for any man to put his hands on me, ever. That being said, I return to my original pondering: is a woman supposed to submit to a man that God puts into her life, even if she does not enjoy sex, touch, romance, affection, or even having a partner? Does a good Christian woman submit to God and to the man that He put into her life, even if it is incredibly upsetting for her on a daily basis? I wonder, is this the case or is it not the case? Any insight?

What I have hoped for is that God can remove any sexual desires that I may have. Mine seem to stem around trauma, which I wish I didn't have to endure the memories of on a daily basis. The only sexuality that I understand is related to my abuse. Because of this, I don't want to have anything to do with sex, so I have asked God to rid me of any latent desires that hide in the back of my mind and bother me when I least want them to.

Also, I dissociate horribly when I read or write or think about these things. At times I will be reading about this or typing about this and I will suddenly have dissociative amnesia and then have the memories and thought patterns of a small child. It's very unnerving. When confronted with the idea of someone even so much as considering to touch me, I slowly start to pan out of reality until I have no idea where I am or who I am. My mind is ridiculously fragile.

No romance for me ─ not even in my mind. Can't handle it.
Thank you for your contribution to this thread. I know that this was not easy for you to write and I appreciate your honesty and sincerity.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,434
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#32
tourist - I would love for you to expound upon this idea. Are you suggesting to say goodness is not at all goodness without evil to highlight it? Does God therefore need evil to show His glory? If so why would He build the original earth to be without its knowledge in the Garden of Eden?

But I digress - in view of this topic in this thread - can you expound your thought here?
I wonder if man would appreciate the good without ever knowing the bad. Goodness is always goodness. I'm not sure if God needs evil, or, perhaps allowed is a better term, to show His glory. Probably not. Interesting question that you have raised though.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,434
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113
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Florida
#33
This is great tourist thank you - I would say, however, that devotion is the apex of romantic inclination not the beginning. I would say we all face circumstances, but for a Christian none of us should be a victim of those circumstances. Yet, I agree - many are. But I would hope and have faith that not most are who are in Christ, but rather few are who are yet walking thru their walls with Him. Character in His Children is what God builds in us as well. We are probably saying the same thing here, but I read the word in its exact form is all and weigh in on it.

I believe the last Chapter of our story, the story of the young teenager and I, will be furthered only in the light and breath of Jesus and God Himself in the future, but as you say - these will still be precious Words - only they have already been written and accomplished in Christ in my prediction of what is to come that has yet to be experienced.

Let me ask you a question if I might. "What would be the apex, the summit, the top or highest point, the crescendo of romantic inclination for you, if devotion is only the beginning?"
In a romantic physical and spiritual sense, I would say knowing in my heart that my wife loves me with all of her heart.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,509
1,439
113
Germany
#34
... Stumbled upon this ... after being away from the forums for a little while ... due to a deep need to reconnect with Christ.

As a single person ─ and for a good reason ─ this topic is uncomfortable for me. It's not that I hold it against anyone here that you like romance and affection and sexuality, all of which I assume are good for a person if they actually enjoy it. ... The thought that cycles through in my mind is that maybe I need to be obedient to God if there is a man out there who He wants me to have as a partner. Now, does that mean that I am romantic or that I have a heart for romance? No. What caused me to be the way that I am is so dark and upsetting that I'm not inclined to post in the forums, but I would be lying if I said that I wanted God to put it into my heart to like affection and romance because I don't. The last thing I want is for any man to put his hands on me, ever. That being said, I return to my original pondering: is a woman supposed to submit to a man that God puts into her life, even if she does not enjoy sex, touch, romance, affection, or even having a partner? Does a good Christian woman submit to God and to the man that He put into her life, even if it is incredibly upsetting for her on a daily basis? I wonder, is this the case or is it not the case? Any insight?

What I have hoped for is that God can remove any sexual desires that I may have. Mine seem to stem around trauma, which I wish I didn't have to endure the memories of on a daily basis. The only sexuality that I understand is related to my abuse. Because of this, I don't want to have anything to do with sex, so I have asked God to rid me of any latent desires that hide in the back of my mind and bother me when I least want them to.

Also, I dissociate horribly when I read or write or think about these things. At times I will be reading about this or typing about this and I will suddenly have dissociative amnesia and then have the memories and thought patterns of a small child. It's very unnerving. When confronted with the idea of someone even so much as considering to touch me, I slowly start to pan out of reality until I have no idea where I am or who I am. My mind is ridiculously fragile.

No romance for me ─ not even in my mind. Can't handle it.
Staying in the past and living in the now will not do you any good sis.
Heck I've been abused, raped and used but what one man did is not the next man's fault.
Romance is not bad or abuse. It's a give and take from both
I'm not trying to criticise you but please don't think all is bad. Don't let your trauma win. You will only hurt yourself in the long run
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#35
Staying in the past and living in the now will not do you any good sis.
Heck I've been abused, raped and used but what one man did is not the next man's fault.
Romance is not bad or abuse. It's a give and take from both
I'm not trying to criticise you but please don't think all is bad. Don't let your trauma win. You will only hurt yourself in the long run
I don't know how to explain this to anyone ... but you can't make physical contact feel good to someone who doesn't enjoy it. Basically, that's my point. Everyone says that I think all men are bad. I don't think that and I don't know why people think I think that. It's so strange. No, it's not that I think men are bad, but I do think that men have a particular way about them that is just their nature. So what do I say when a man enjoys touch and I don't? I guess my question is, do I owe that man what he enjoys that causes me suffering because I am a woman? I'm not saying that he's good or bad; is a woman's job to be obedient to a man, even if it does not feel good to her, but it does feel good to him?

I have no answers. I'm only asking because I don't know.
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#36
I wonder if man would appreciate the good without ever knowing the bad. Goodness is always goodness. I'm not sure if God needs evil, or, perhaps allowed is a better term, to show His glory. Probably not. Interesting question that you have raised though.
I've wondered this question too. I've also wondered about human beings needing to feel badly in order to feel well ─ to feel up in order to feel down. I'm not saying that I believe this isn't true or that it is true, but what I am saying is that I had the question presented to me and I said "I don't know" and then there was the automatic assumption that I assumed that there is no need to ever feel negative and that we should feel positive all the time ─ "false thinking". No, I don't think that, and I don't take either side. I wonder. I don't actually know.

Good question.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,509
1,439
113
Germany
#37
I don't know how to explain this to anyone ... but you can't make physical contact feel good to someone who doesn't enjoy it. Basically, that's my point. Everyone says that I think all men are bad. I don't think that and I don't know why people think I think that. It's so strange. No, it's not that I think men are bad, but I do think that men have a particular way about them that is just their nature. So what do I say when a man enjoys touch and I don't? I guess my question is, do I owe that man what he enjoys that causes me suffering because I am a woman? I'm not saying that he's good or bad; is a woman's job to be obedient to a man, even if it does not feel good to her, but it does feel good to him?

I have no answers. I'm only asking because I don't know.
There will eventually be a man whose touch is not going to upset yoi. Sometimes fighting traumas ain't easy but it surely isnt an easy path
 
C

CandieM

Guest
#38
There will eventually be a man whose touch is not going to upset yoi. Sometimes fighting traumas ain't easy but it surely isnt an easy path
Yeah, again, I don't like any touch, not even platonic touch. People always assume that it's strictly trauma related ─ I won't argue that it definitely influences it ─ but I don't even like hugs from family members or even someone touching my hair. That includes females. That being said, I also dislike having my hair cut as well, but for the sake of not looking like a cave woman, I tolerate it.

Again, really, all I want is an answer. Is a woman in Christ supposed to submit to a man totally, and if so, to what extent? Is it disobedient of her to have a say on what happens, or is it not? Being submissive to God is important, so this is why I ask this question. His will matters, not mine.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,434
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#39
Yeah, again, I don't like any touch, not even platonic touch. People always assume that it's strictly trauma related ─ I won't argue that it definitely influences it ─ but I don't even like hugs from family members or even someone touching my hair. That includes females. That being said, I also dislike having my hair cut as well, but for the sake of not looking like a cave woman, I tolerate it.

Again, really, all I want is an answer. Is a woman in Christ supposed to submit to a man totally, and if so, to what extent? Is it disobedient of her to have a say on what happens, or is it not? Being submissive to God is important, so this is why I ask this question. His will matters, not mine.
The bible says the a wife is submissive to her husband but also says the husband must love their wives. Being submissive does not mean that the wife is a slave to her husband, waiting on him hand and foot. That's not how is in my marriage, my wife does not have to submit to anything. As her husband this in the choice that I made and it makes for a happy marriage.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,434
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#40
I've wondered this question too. I've also wondered about human beings needing to feel badly in order to feel well ─ to feel up in order to feel down. I'm not saying that I believe this isn't true or that it is true, but what I am saying is that I had the question presented to me and I said "I don't know" and then there was the automatic assumption that I assumed that there is no need to ever feel negative and that we should feel positive all the time ─ "false thinking". No, I don't think that, and I don't take either side. I wonder. I don't actually know.

Good question.
I really don't think that it is realistic for most people to be positive 100% of the time, each and everyday, especially for those that work hard struggling to stay afloat. If I were completely retired I probably would have a positive cheery attitude each day too. Being positive is a good thing but you have to be realistic too, at least that's how I roll 'em.