Ladies: How to pursue a guy without pursuing him

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Batman1978

Guest
#1
I’ve mentioned before that the “natural rule” is that men should pursue women and not the other way around. The main reason being is that if a man can’t take the lead in the beginning of the relationship (by asking you on a date or to be in a relationship with him) then he most probably won’t be able to take the lead in many essential aspects of your relationship journey together and that often creates major problems.

But there are ways of letting a guy know that you are interested in him without pursuing him, especially when there is competition involved. Below are some helpful points:

1. Make more physical contact with him, eg: touch his arm, shoulder, hand, etc. when talking to him.

2. Make sure that you look and are genuinely interested in his conversation, and ask his opinion on certain topics (every guy loves it when you take note of what he is saying or when you ask his opinion of things especially when it’s a topic close to his heart; it makes him feel intelligent, important, valued, and wanted…and believe me that every guy in the world loves feeling that way).

3. Make eye contact as often as possible (but not in a psychotic way, look away now and then).

4. Send him a sms or mail now and then (not everyday) asking him how his day/week/weekend was, or that you heard a song/story and it reminded you of him.

5. Laugh at his jokes (you will get the same results as point: 2).

6. Give him more attention than other people.

7. Don't act tooooo friendly towards him as he will think that you only want be a friend to him; he might be getting confused signals from you and won’t know if he will get rejected by you or not if he should decide to pursue you.

8. Invite him to parties, to a wedding as a wedding partner, social events, etc.

9. Make your hair nice, wear a bit of make-up, and dress well when you know you are going to be in his presence; women are emotionally-stimulated but men are visually-stimulated…if two women would walk into a room; the one wearing a jeans and t-shirt, and the other wearing a red dress, then all the guys in the room will notice the woman wearing the red dress first. I said it before that you don’t have to have a body of a supermodel to get men’s attention, you just have to know what clothes, make-up, hairstyles, and etc. that works for you. Remember: that it’s not about the contents in a gift (personality) that counts the FIRST TIME ROUND, it’s the package (the way you present yourself) that gets men’s attention…your personality are revealed little by little the more he gets to know you (and that is what he will fall inlove with) but you need to try and get him to notice you for him to have the chance to get to know your personality.

You will notice in all of the above points that nowhere does it indicate that you are asking him on a date or to be in a relationship with you, especially with point: 8 (you are just asking him to accompany you to these events and not to go on a date with you…make sure that you ask him “would you like to ACCOMPANY ME to a wedding/party/etc.” or “would you like to ACCOMPANY ME to our church/youth event/services/etc.”).

The line drawn between the points above and the act of pursuing is that if you ask him out on a date or tell him that you like him and would want to be in a relationship with him then YOU are pursuing him, rather wait until he does those things to you.

Hope that helps you a bit.

All of the best.
 
D

Darcy11

Guest
#2
I think you should just be honest. Tell the guy you're interested and let him take it from there. Not to be mean, but guys can be slow sometimes, so to put it out there is a big help. Get the ball rolling and see if he runs with it. If he doesn't then move on. =)
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
64
48
#3
I'm just going to say it. I think this is awful.

This is like a guide for a guy to get into a woman's inner coffee circle, without actually appearing romantically threatening.

I realize that this is suppose to be for women, and I understand that and all but at the same time Darcy has a point. If you, as a woman, exist in his world, he's probably already taken note of it. And if he sees you he either thinks, A: He wants to know more, B: he doesn't care to know more or C:He thinks you are taken.

If none of these options seems to apply its because he doesn't have the confidence to approach you or you have fallen into his friend box. Which for some guys is like a warm mossy well.

If it all still sounds French-Canadian, its because he's not ready for a relationship.
 
K

Kooper

Guest
#4
*takes notes*
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#5
I like to pursue men in my car, while driving at an unsafe speed

 

grace

Senior Member
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
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#9
That is pure Hotness,
Which is why you are totally a keeper ;)
Only in the UK apparently. LOL ;) (considering the side of the car she(/you) are driving on.
Looks like you american boys are safe. :)
 

kayem77

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2011
2,380
42
0
#10
I like to pursue men in my car, while driving at an unsafe speed


That's totally the way I do it! maybe we should go men-chasing someday together, I would love some new tips from you hahah
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#11
First off, allow me to say that it would be my pleasure to be run over by any of you lovely ladies.
Second, I love where this thread is going.
Third, don't use the 'list' as an absolute. Some of those things would annoy me/push me away.
 
Aug 2, 2009
20,361
587
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#12
I think you should just be honest. Tell the guy you're interested and let him take it from there. Not to be mean, but guys can be slow sometimes, so to put it out there is a big help. Get the ball rolling and see if he runs with it. If he doesn't then move on. =)
I like that approach! :)
 
B

Batman1978

Guest
#13
Thanx for the replies.

Well there's a saying: "eat the meat and throw away the bones", everyone is entitled to their own opinion: if some of these points work for you then use it, if you don't like it then don't use it.

Personally, quite a few ladies have came to me with the "men don't notice me" problem or the "there's a guy that like me but his taking too long to ask me out" problem (the latter is usually due to guys that like women but have no idea how to win them over), and being the person I am I went and done some research into finding a solution (Proverbs: seek for knowledge and wisdom; Matthew 7vs7: ask, seek, knock, and etc.) and this is what I came up with.

The points mentioned is more like a summary of what I have found and before I let my info out of public I usually test it first, and I can tell you that some of the ladies had success, they played out the points and in the end the guy asked them out.

I think that Christians are way too spiritual for their own good, faith without works is dead, if you're not being practical in your walk in Christ then I'm sure you're not making an impact in anyone's lives, even if you think you are.

Take in consideration the story or Ruth and Boaz; Naomi told ruth to dress up the next time she went to the threshing floor where Boaz was: Ruth 3vs3 "Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes..." Naomi gave Ruth practical advice and it worked, she married Boaz and out of her family lineage came King David.

Sooooo...there you have it.

Peace out.

Brent
 
B

Batman1978

Guest
#14
found and before I let my info out of public
I meant: "found and before i let my info GO INTO public", sorry. ;)
 
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DanuckInUSA

Guest
#15
So stalking men is the best method? Reallly, and here men are taught how clever women are....you use the same methods we do!
 
B

Batman1978

Guest
#16
No, you're not stalking him, you're letting him know by small suggestive actions that you're interested in him.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out if you're stalking someone or not.
 

error

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
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#17
NodMyHeadLikeYeah hahahahahahaaaaa.
 
Sep 4, 2009
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#18
I feel that it is incredibly flattering when a guy pursues the girl. I dont think that if a girl pursues the guy that there will be problems in the relationship. It is modern day times not the 18th century, it is ok if a women pursues a man. What would be the problem if a woman pursues a man it will take away his macho manly attitude.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
64
48
#19
The only difference between a Stalker and a Romantic, is Success.