Lets help our single bros.

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Jul 20, 2017
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#1
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,844
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#2
Who's waiting? Who's praying for a miracle? I'm just living my life, enjoying the good parts and getting over the bad parts.

I am single because I happen to not be married. I'm not praying God will send me somebody in my life, I'm just living my life as it comes. If I find a lady and marry her, yay! If not, I'm still living my life.

Also, I've seen crap that looked better than me. No shame in that. Some turds happen to look good. :p
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,417
403
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#3
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
That's about right.
 
Jul 20, 2017
116
5
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#4
Who's waiting? Who's praying for a miracle? I'm just living my life, enjoying the good parts and getting over the bad parts.

I am single because I happen to not be married. I'm not praying God will send me somebody in my life, I'm just living my life as it comes. If I find a lady and marry her, yay! If not, I'm still living my life.

Also, I've seen crap that looked better than me. No shame in that. Some turds happen to look good. :p
Right on my man! We have all the love we need all around us. No need to dig it from one person. And dont worry we all look like crap in the mornings. Hey this is a brutally honest thread. I know if I did some jogging I would have twice as much success.
 
Jul 20, 2017
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#5
Just wanted to add this because it changed everything for me and was actually a lesson from the lord to me personally. You have to love yourself for others to love you. You have to respect yourself for others to respect you. You have to trust yourself for others to trust you. And the Lord does do miracles, you just have to know how to handle them when he does.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
12,205
337
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#6
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
Sorry,I don't usually break into the singles forum but Im here to inform you nice guys do not finish last. I married a nice guy and I specifically wanted a nice guy. The idea that women want a bad boy is Hollywood movies and magazines. Any mature woman wants a mature man. And mature men are nice men and they are confident in their manhood and they don't go throwing it around in peoples faces.And my husband is a long way from bad looking. Women try to flirt with him all the time till they see me. He doesn't think he's good looking,he doesn't even notice women flirting with him. But to make men think they have to be a jerk to get a woman is not good advice. And the alpha males I know are all jerks that are stuck on themselves and Id never date,let alone marry a guy like that.
 
H

heartofdavid

Guest
#7
I am no alpha male

But i rule the spiritual realm in a civil discussion.

Oh,wait, was that alp-ish lol
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,961
1,506
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Florida
#8
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
Most of the 'nice guys' that finish last in romance do so as a result of fear of rejection or commitment, waiting for all the 'I's' to be dotted, the 'T's' to be crossed and all lights are green. Their standards for a prospective spouse are either unreasonable or unrealistic especially on insisting that their future spouse is a virgin. For most, this probably is not going to happen.

The older you wait the more baggage that you may be carrying, especially children and also financial aspects for both you and your prospective spouse, and other issues as well, so it may be best to dial back your expectations and just be content with the one that God has chosen for you, someone who is a perfect match for your personality and type of person that you are.

As far as virginity is concerned it seems a shame that there are those who are too afraid to act when an opportunity strikes for a prospective spouse and so miss out on one of the true pleasures of intimacy. You will also find that as you get older you may run into physical problems also which may challenge physical intimacy so it's best to be prepared.

God is simply not going to drop a future spouse on your lap, there are things you must do also to make this happen. This takes time and effort to prepare for a lifetime commitment to the one of your heart's desire. God may have send the one for you but don't blame God if you neglect an opportunity because you were not ready, too lazy or afraid to act.

Love and marriage is not a game for those who are feint of heart. For those that truly want a lifelong companion and best friend it is best to be pro-active and aggressive in their approach. Sitting back and wait is not going to cut it.
 
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JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
3,857
69
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#9
Life is for the living. Although there are exceptions generally speaking the natural order is that single man pursue single woman. If a man is waiting for overt actions bd the opposite sex (not gender - that’s a PC term) then unless you look like the guy in my avatar you will be waiting long. And even if you do resemble him, it may take a while.

She will give you signs, so you needn’t be overly concerned if you are coming from left field. No need to go into what those hints are. If you can’t discern them then your not marriage material anyway.

Your Man Card is suspended upon further notice.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,844
491
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#10
Why do we keep talking about singlehood as though it is something broken that needs to be fixed? Being single is not a problem. This thread seems to have been started on the premise that it is crucial that single people get some kind of help in order to find a spouse, as though finding a spouse is the primary goal of any normal person's life.

If I live my whole life and wind up never getting married, does that make my life a failure? And if there is somebody here who does in fact consider a life without marriage to be a failure, why do you think it is that important?

The first step to solving a problem is not admitting you have a problem. It is determining whether there is in fact a problem to solve.
 
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LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
530
28
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#11
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
A miracle? so your obviously talking to the awkward ones k. so yea most Christian guys are afraid o talk to girls but it could be for many different reasons and being Christian is hard for males saying you don't date, cuz dating is totally wrong, or something is almost always gonna bring the inevitable gay comments about how you don't like girls xD. But like you pointed out we aren't meant to care about those things and men are supposed to pursue so you dudes need to man up and stop being so wimpy. But you shouldnt just rush into some relationships i think prayer is very important and we need to be content while single just prepare learn to be a biblical man a leader, save up to be able to provide for a woman and children but don't just hope that a girl is going to fall from the sky and fall in love with you, you're the man you should pursue whoever the Lord wills for you to be with, but first you need to focus on your relationship with God because you will need to be able to teach your family in the ways of God its not all cupcakes and rainbows being a man is an achievement, a goal, not something you are privileged with you have to earn it. So stop being jellyfish and stand up for something and work on yourself and your relationship with God i cant stand people who think they deserve a woman when they aren't even mature enough to take care of one most of us are way too selfish to be in a relationship so lets get it together.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
530
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#12
Life is for the living. Although there are exceptions generally speaking the natural order is that single man pursue single woman. If a man is waiting for overt actions bd the opposite sex (not gender - that’s a PC term) then unless you look like the guy in my avatar you will be waiting long. And even if you do resemble him, it may take a while.

She will give you signs, so you needn’t be overly concerned if you are coming from left field. No need to go into what those hints are. If you can’t discern them then your not marriage material anyway.

Your Man Card is suspended upon further notice.
As hard as i am on men discerning women is complicated at times i don't think they should be written off for that that's more about experience with women not really anything needed for marriage but i could be wrong.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
530
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#13
Sorry,I don't usually break into the singles forum but Im here to inform you nice guys do not finish last. I married a nice guy and I specifically wanted a nice guy. The idea that women want a bad boy is Hollywood movies and magazines. Any mature woman wants a mature man. And mature men are nice men and they are confident in their manhood and they don't go throwing it around in peoples faces.And my husband is a long way from bad looking. Women try to flirt with him all the time till they see me. He doesn't think he's good looking,he doesn't even notice women flirting with him. But to make men think they have to be a jerk to get a woman is not good advice. And the alpha males I know are all jerks that are stuck on themselves and Id never date,let alone marry a guy like that.
you are right lol nice guys arent finishing last as Christians i think the awkward ones are xD. and youre mistaken on what an Alpha male is not some stuck up idiot but someone who seeks out the person he feels God wants him to be with and will protect people regardless of the consequences to himself its basically a biblical man but these days culture messes up everything and makes alpha males look like jerks who are too concerned about themselves.
 

MattforJesus

Senior Member
Apr 15, 2017
1,311
72
48
#14
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
But a Christian man is to conduct himself in a proper manner,and some might like the single life better in today's world,for so many people talk improper,immoral behavior,too much in to money,and selfishness,and behavior that is not God approved.

People can call Christians a wimp for the way that they behave that they have to take what people dish out,and not retaliate according to the flesh,and can be hard at times,at least to verbally lash out at them,especially when you are called the eighth wonder of the world,and a bad ass,for physical strength,and endurance,and when I was in the military my friend said,you think you are superman,and I said,no I do not,I think I am spiderman,but we have to endure what the world dishes out,but God said do not worry about it for one day they will know who was really the toughest on the block,which the Bible says the world will persecute the mighty and holy people one day,and when God puts them down they will be ashes under the souls of their feet.

Of course there is a lot of hypocrites,and we might sin and put a butt whipping on someone,but hey we can repent.

That is how it is with a lot of men claiming Christ,that maybe they do not push too hard,and try to be a gentleman,and only go by their needs,and not their wants,helping the poor,and not looking for sex,but a good date to have fun,and act in a way that might not be pleasing to women in today's world in what they want.

And the Bible says in the last days they shall be despisers of those that are good,so a lot of women might not be interested in the good guy image to the extent of a Christian.

The chances of having sex is greater than the chances of having a relationship,and the dog gets it the most,and some women will put up with abuse as long as the man makes good money.

Years ago you basically knew what you were going to get when you got married,for people basically behaved along the same lines,and before money started flowing like a raging river,but today it is a gamble,and everybody is on their best behavior when they first get together,or else no one would ever get together,and the flaws do not come out until later,and then it is like why didn't you give me a heads up.

Hey Matt she smiled at you,someone might say,but I say,what does that mean,for everybody smiles at the beginning,and getting a date should be easy,for how can it be hard.

But being single is peaceful,serene,relaxing,and a better benefit for the mind,and freedom,and I do not mind going on a date,but I cannot do marriage 7 days a week,for that is too much for me,which 2 days a week is better,but that will not work.

There is no physical contact,or language,between a man and a woman that is intimate at all.No kissing,no hugging,no holding hands,no language,no contact in an intimate way,and all saints are brothers and sisters to one another.

There is no such thing as the term boyfriend and girlfriend in the Christian world,for to say that a woman is a girlfriend is to imply that there is something going on between them that is not going on with them and the other saints,which cannot be so.

If a person is single but does not cry about it,then it is what they want,but if they are single and crying about it,then what is holding them back.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,652
630
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#15
A little good and a lot of crap in this thread. Lots of judgment and ego too. So in order to help we have to be egotistic, judgmental, presumptuous and condescending? Hmm...
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
12,205
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#16
you are right lol nice guys arent finishing last as Christians i think the awkward ones are xD. and youre mistaken on what an Alpha male is not some stuck up idiot but someone who seeks out the person he feels God wants him to be with and will protect people regardless of the consequences to himself its basically a biblical man but these days culture messes up everything and makes alpha males look like jerks who are too concerned about themselves.


I consider alpha male a secular term. A Godly man,now thats a term I can agree with. But I don't think your definition matches the OP either because his definition is secular,not Biblical.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
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#17
I consider alpha male a secular term. A Godly man,now thats a term I can agree with. But I don't think your definition matches the OP either because his definition is secular,not Biblical.
Rru you are correct in that case
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
530
28
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#18
A little good and a lot of crap in this thread. Lots of judgment and ego too. So in order to help we have to be egotistic, judgmental, presumptuous and condescending? Hmm...
I haven't seen much judgement maybe ego yea but judgement no rebuke is needed we can't fix it if we don't face the fact that what our men are is wromg that's fact proven ny the bible and jesus would've said the same thing he was "judgemental" when he talked about peter , i believe, when he said get behind me Satan, or when he was throwing tables xD, fr though what i said at least was not meant to be condemnation and sorry if it was but I'm simply stating how things are all of us as men can change that but we have to admit that the way we are is simply not biblical and sometimes you need to stop sugar coating things and tell it like it is. And i wasn't saying that im excluded from some of those problems i still am not a man because i simply don't meet all the qualifications to be one and i need to get it together too I hate that i am not mature in this regard as well so please dont think im putting myself above anyone else
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,857
1,747
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#19
ArcanePrince, when he gets up in the morning... :p

. All Spiffy.jpg


Right on my man! We have all the love we need all around us. No need to dig it from one person. And dont worry we all look like crap in the mornings. Hey this is a brutally honest thread. I know if I did some jogging I would have twice as much success.
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,978
811
113
UK age 49
#20
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.

There is no such thing as alpha and beta males in humans.

Those terms are used to describe dominant animals, the fittest, strongest those who get to
mate and drive all the weaker animals away and who only the females will mate with.

I think that is insulting both to men and also to women.

Women have minds of their own, their own preferences, their own intelligence and personalities.
So do men.

The concept of alpha and beta males in humans is a myth. It’s made up jargon,
along the lines of “blue sky thinking”
“if you are not on the edge you are taking up too much space”
”stake holders”
”pushing the envelope”
etc, etc.

I wonder if the people who come up with this stuff, realise how stupid they sound
and how stupid we sound for actually listening to them and believing them!