Lets help our single bros.

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#61
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
I disagree.

I don't think you think at all.

 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
135
9
0
#62
A couple of thoughts. None of the Christian women I know were ever interested in bad boys. What all of us were interested in were men that had a passion for life. It didn't matter if it was hobbies, music, travel etc. there is a spark. Meeting men in the church who are sold out for their faith, willing to talk, laugh, have curiosity about their world and be willing to explore, is what we want. All these things are better than cars, flowers and stuff. If a fellow just sits there, doesn't have much to say, no interests and waits for you to be their lives, that is what is not attractive. Being a nice guy is not the problem.
None of us are looking for an angry, violent petty criminals. Saying nice guys finish last is a way of deflecting. Ask yourselves what you have to offer and then let us know. No one is looking for anyone else's baggage. We all have history but let us know what it is that you love, what gets you excited to start the day and we will take note.
My last boyfriend had raised falcons, and horses, enjoyed motorcycles and had the best sense of humour. He had very little money, no pension, stocky (short), 265+ weight-wise, and back issues. He also has a sparkle in his eyes, an easy laugh, always ready to go and explore whether we went to the water with his dog, or for a picnic. I'd beachcomb, or we'd explore the countryside. He was enthusiastic about life and it was so attractive. The very best thing was his very real faith and deep relationship with God. It was so very real. I admired him greatly. Unfortunately being long distance it didn't work for the long term but it was great.
My point is that you don't need stuff or to look like an action hero to attract women. It is who you are. Embrace life and the rest will follow.
 
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Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,439
417
83
#63
The guy who started this thread is not writing about being "bad" or a "criminal."
He is writing about this notion that God is going to bring a wife to a man. We only know of this happening once in history.
Praying will not trigger God to drop a woman into a man's lap, or bring one to his door step. A man has to get her, Pursue her, make a move.
I've seen threads on here, men saying they won't ask a woman out because they are affraid of rejection. That is conflict.
Historically, men went to battle to defend their land, their homes, and their women. The victorious men came back as champions, that is what the women were attracted to. Those champions were the ones to have offspring.
Men and women have to be proactive in forming a relationship. God is not playing matchmaker.
Good looks to help also.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,684
481
83
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#64
The guy who started this thread is not writing about being "bad" or a "criminal."
He is writing about this notion that God is going to bring a wife to a man. We only know of this happening once in history.
Praying will not trigger God to drop a woman into a man's lap, or bring one to his door step. A man has to get her, Pursue her, make a move.
I've seen threads on here, men saying they won't ask a woman out because they are affraid of rejection. That is conflict.
Historically, men went to battle to defend their land, their homes, and their women. The victorious men came back as champions, that is what the women were attracted to. Those champions were the ones to have offspring.
Men and women have to be proactive in forming a relationship. God is not playing matchmaker.
Good looks to help also.
Statistically this is accurate,though of course compatability depends on the "individuals" like with a man vyeing for a woman,some women prefer a strong man that will fight for her,then there are women who just want a guy to be a "decent person" instead of a dominating brute,everyone's different but "interaction" is definitely "key" in any relationship if you don't "express" feelings toward each other or "take a chance" then you end up with "no relationship",sometimes women even like it when a guy goes "speech dumb" over her,so better to at least "give some interaction a chance" than none at all even if you "look idiotic".
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
135
9
0
#65
The guy who started this thread is not writing about being "bad" or a "criminal."
He is writing about this notion that God is going to bring a wife to a man. We only know of this happening once in history.
Praying will not trigger God to drop a woman into a man's lap, or bring one to his door step. A man has to get her, Pursue her, make a move.
I've seen threads on here, men saying they won't ask a woman out because they are affraid of rejection. That is conflict.
Historically, men went to battle to defend their land, their homes, and their women. The victorious men came back as champions, that is what the women were attracted to. Those champions were the ones to have offspring.
Men and women have to be proactive in forming a relationship. God is not playing matchmaker.
Good looks to help also.
I hear what you are saying. I was responding to the idea that women want bad guys. I realize he didn't say we were chasing criminals, but unfortunately there are the women who go after the gangsta types because they think that that lifestyle shows strength. I was saying that in the church women want, as you put it, strength of personality and character.
You are right that historically the ones that showed that they could support and defend their families got the pick of the women, not that the women had choice in who they married. That was decided by their families.
I also agree that if a man steps forward he is a whole lot more likely to find a woman rather than sitting at home.
I'd add one more thing. I think the "I will now find a mate" thing can block both men and women from seeing someone as a person. The shopping list mentality doesn't help. It you (and when I say you it is generalized) go out and try and meet people whose company you like you take a lot of pressure off of you and them. Let that happen rather than seeing someone as the role you want them to fill.
Great comments Tommy
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
530
28
28
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#67
I really do though
You don't so stop being so negative i know women always talk about confidence in men but it's still sometimes annoying in girls too, so don't look at yourself as ugly or crap you look perfectly fine don't talk about yourself like that, i know it makes me angry when girls don't see their own value you're priceless don't let anyone tell you otherwise cx. And that goes for any other female who thinks the same.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
7,411
535
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#68
1. I think getting off your behind and being assertive is good.

2. I think praying is good... even gooder than point #1.

3. The best I can tell from scripture... we're to do both #1 and #2... never either/or.



Final point... I think we worry about stuff too much.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
2,966
242
63
#70
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
So you equate dating with conflict ??????

Weird...
 

AuntieAnt

Senior Member
Feb 23, 2016
3,908
335
83
#71
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.
I don't know how much of an alpha he-man Jesus would be.
(Although He is Alpha and Omega... but that's a different story.) :rolleyes:

Also, regarding looking "like crap", it's written in Isaiah that Jesus' appearance wasn't attractive.

My point is, a man whose confidence is in the Lord can win the heart of a woman who is attracted to a godly man. :eek:
 

Saturn

Senior Member
Apr 30, 2014
115
6
18
#73
You don't so stop being so negative i know women always talk about confidence in men but it's still sometimes annoying in girls too, so don't look at yourself as ugly or crap you look perfectly fine don't talk about yourself like that, i know it makes me angry when girls don't see their own value you're priceless don't let anyone tell you otherwise cx. And that goes for any other female who thinks the same.
Just an fyi. I was being sarcastic ....
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
2,029
227
63
#79
You wait and pray for a miracle all your life because the other 40 year old virgins told you its the only way. This wont ever happen. This is the most pathetic mind state. Dating should be as natural as breathing. I was once like you too. I think so many Christians have trouble dating, is because they are Christian. They think conflict is evil. Those who always avoid conflict at any cost are called beta males. Those who stand up to conflicts are called alpha males. In nature only alpha males reproduce, not usually beta males. Thats why they say nice guys finish last. Also you probably look like crap.

Wow I sure hope you’re not married. Looks are very temporary, you plan on leaving when come the wrinkles and grey hair come? Marriage is about having someone to hold and love, to be there for each other when times get tough.