S
Life is full of adventures and dreams, where you will end up, you never know. I am about to graduate from college 5 weeks to go. i was the weakest in my class and now i have ended stronger than i could have imagined. As i conducted my university choir i realized the journey God took me through. It was completely different than the one i planned. I am a different person from four years ago. it was painful very painful but i've grown. I have nothing but grattitude. I joined the peace corps, and that is a complete new advanture, but i feel as if i am running with no stopping. the world and life is so tricky sometimes you feel you have found yourself and God and then realize you are lost within you finding yourself and searching for God. have you ever felt lonely surrounded by many people. friends, family, co workers and boyfriends or girlfriends. you are so lonely you see yourself out of the picture and wish you had more purpose. many are proud of me and my accomplishments, but i sit and think in fustration what is it that is calling me, that stops life from being so enjoyable. i love the sun, trees, flowers and nature. i love the wind and how it hits me and brings some sort of peace, i love the sound of jazz and acoustic music, nothing makes me happier besides food and God lol. I catch myself being thankful, just for the creation, but through all these emotions hitting at once, i feel disconneted i feel as if i cant breathe. i recently went bar hopping wiith some friends thinking maybe????? i will feel satisfied. but instead, i realized how hard girls work to look perfect, just to be noticed and appreciated for one night. I had guys approaching me like ants around a piece of food. it was disgusting to think that they just wanted one thing! boys another disapointment, they are all the same, when you meet one that is not let me know! lol then i realized that i was no different than any of them i was also searching for something? what is it?