This has been bugging me a bit lately so forgive the rant 😂 Many of you will remember a recent post of mine when I was in some kind of meltdown over my single status and how I may well be alone forever. Well, let's say God has been working in my heart and challenging these feelings. I took some time out to be with God, and to actually ADDRESS my anxious feelinfs and examine where they were coming from.
In the past few weeks I have lost count of how many times someone has asked me "have you not found someone yet" or some variation of this. I understand people usually just mean well but this idea that you NEED to "find someone" to somehow be whole or happy is just insane. I have had some of my happiest years while in relationships and some of my unhappiest. I have also had some of my best experiences and times in life while single. I don't hate men or relationships, I'm not cold-hearted or anti-love. But I have finally realised I do not need another person to make me complete or to make my life in some way special or significant.
No two people are the same, and for me, relationships bring out the worst in me. Every insecurity known to man suddenly flourishes within me, I give so much attention to this person that I completely neglect myself, I lose sight of who I even am as an individual person without them, I lose pretty much all sense of stability haha. I am pretty much everyone's (including my own!) worst nightmare. I am not a healthy person in a relationship, for reasons I'm not even sure of myself.
People are complicated, relationships are hard, love can be messy. Some people aren't built for long-term relationships, and I think I may be one of them - and that's OK. I have been so blessed to experience love and have not just one but a few chances at it in my life. I've got to experience dating (that's just one big headache 🤣). I've been treated like a queen, and I've been treated like dirt, both in the name of this thing called love. I've lived through the absolute highs of it and the deepest lows. I've had my heart so broken I genuinely believed for a very long time it would never be whole again. Oh boy, healing is painful!
I actually feel so much peace in not striving to "find someone". The only person I am guaranteed to spend my life with is me, and learning to love myself is battle enough without adding another person into the mix. I have finally realised, after so much anxiety over relationship status, that my anxiety doesn't come from loneliness, a craving for romantic love, or a desire for a relationship at all. All of this anxiety that was eating away at me wasn't internal, it was external. The pressure from society and this expectation that we need to pair off with another person to be fulfilled, happy and complete, is overwhelming at times and quite frankly it's rubbish.
I have more security, self-worth, confidence, peace, and happiness single than I ever did in a relationship. I appreciate relationships and marriage are beautiful things, and I have respect for people choosing ever day to be commited to another person and put them first. I guess I feel this way because I haven't met that one person that makes it worthwhile. That doesn't mean I'm not content in my life though, and can't live my best life just as I am, just being me 💗 I really feel like someone needs to hear this today - you are enough, just as you are. You are worthy of everything good in life, regardless of your relationship status. You are a valuable, WHOLE person all on your own! Don't ever let anyone make you feel any differently. God loves you, more madly than you may even understand while on this earth. Relationships have a place, of course they do, but if I am called to be single, I will survive. Heck, I'll make sure I thrive.
In the past few weeks I have lost count of how many times someone has asked me "have you not found someone yet" or some variation of this. I understand people usually just mean well but this idea that you NEED to "find someone" to somehow be whole or happy is just insane. I have had some of my happiest years while in relationships and some of my unhappiest. I have also had some of my best experiences and times in life while single. I don't hate men or relationships, I'm not cold-hearted or anti-love. But I have finally realised I do not need another person to make me complete or to make my life in some way special or significant.
No two people are the same, and for me, relationships bring out the worst in me. Every insecurity known to man suddenly flourishes within me, I give so much attention to this person that I completely neglect myself, I lose sight of who I even am as an individual person without them, I lose pretty much all sense of stability haha. I am pretty much everyone's (including my own!) worst nightmare. I am not a healthy person in a relationship, for reasons I'm not even sure of myself.
People are complicated, relationships are hard, love can be messy. Some people aren't built for long-term relationships, and I think I may be one of them - and that's OK. I have been so blessed to experience love and have not just one but a few chances at it in my life. I've got to experience dating (that's just one big headache 🤣). I've been treated like a queen, and I've been treated like dirt, both in the name of this thing called love. I've lived through the absolute highs of it and the deepest lows. I've had my heart so broken I genuinely believed for a very long time it would never be whole again. Oh boy, healing is painful!
I actually feel so much peace in not striving to "find someone". The only person I am guaranteed to spend my life with is me, and learning to love myself is battle enough without adding another person into the mix. I have finally realised, after so much anxiety over relationship status, that my anxiety doesn't come from loneliness, a craving for romantic love, or a desire for a relationship at all. All of this anxiety that was eating away at me wasn't internal, it was external. The pressure from society and this expectation that we need to pair off with another person to be fulfilled, happy and complete, is overwhelming at times and quite frankly it's rubbish.
I have more security, self-worth, confidence, peace, and happiness single than I ever did in a relationship. I appreciate relationships and marriage are beautiful things, and I have respect for people choosing ever day to be commited to another person and put them first. I guess I feel this way because I haven't met that one person that makes it worthwhile. That doesn't mean I'm not content in my life though, and can't live my best life just as I am, just being me 💗 I really feel like someone needs to hear this today - you are enough, just as you are. You are worthy of everything good in life, regardless of your relationship status. You are a valuable, WHOLE person all on your own! Don't ever let anyone make you feel any differently. God loves you, more madly than you may even understand while on this earth. Relationships have a place, of course they do, but if I am called to be single, I will survive. Heck, I'll make sure I thrive.
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