Looking outside of the church for people in their 30s. Ideas?

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Apr 22, 2021
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#1
I've tried the churches themselves (not really found one I feel connected to, so I've hopped around) but my experience has been that's not a good way to meet people, unless you spend a lot of time reading the Bible and have riveting conversations about it.

I've tried volunteering with the church and also volunteer opportunities that are not church-connected, but in either case I've met mostly people old enough to retire.

No one at work is my age or knows people my age.

Every service employee I meet is significantly older or younger than me, so being a regular somewhere won't help either. I haven't come across a place where people my age hang out on a regular basis.

My college doesn't have an alumni organization or Facebook page that is aimed at alumni so there's no options for even online reconnecting with them.

I haven't found a local group on Meetup that actually meets.

There's no one I've ever met that's had any kind of positive or neutral experience with any type of app or website for meeting people.

None of the Facebook groups I've joined have any people that either like what the page is geared towards nor have any other interests. For example, the local computer "enthusiast" group has no one that likes messing with computers, has hobbies beyond computers, or enjoys anything else. None of the gaming groups have any gamers nor people who like anything else. Even the admins don't reply to messages regardless of content. Thus I've pretty much given up meeting people online, even those that I don't plan on ever meeting in person.

Anyone have better ideas?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,781
8,509
113
#2
Well you seem to have tried all the avenues that I have heard work.

Of course I've never tried any of them myself. Just lazy, mostly. But I've heard all the things you tried usually work. So... No idea. Sorry.

Also, howdy and welcome to the forum.
 

Susanna

Well-known member
Apr 14, 2023
1,190
378
83
48
Galveston and Houston
#3
I've tried the churches themselves (not really found one I feel connected to, so I've hopped around) but my experience has been that's not a good way to meet people, unless you spend a lot of time reading the Bible and have riveting conversations about it.

I've tried volunteering with the church and also volunteer opportunities that are not church-connected, but in either case I've met mostly people old enough to retire.

No one at work is my age or knows people my age.

Every service employee I meet is significantly older or younger than me, so being a regular somewhere won't help either. I haven't come across a place where people my age hang out on a regular basis.

My college doesn't have an alumni organization or Facebook page that is aimed at alumni so there's no options for even online reconnecting with them.

I haven't found a local group on Meetup that actually meets.

There's no one I've ever met that's had any kind of positive or neutral experience with any type of app or website for meeting people.

None of the Facebook groups I've joined have any people that either like what the page is geared towards nor have any other interests. For example, the local computer "enthusiast" group has no one that likes messing with computers, has hobbies beyond computers, or enjoys anything else. None of the gaming groups have any gamers nor people who like anything else. Even the admins don't reply to messages regardless of content. Thus I've pretty much given up meeting people online, even those that I don't plan on ever meeting in person.

Anyone have better ideas?
Enlist.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,682
4,828
113
#4
I've tried the churches themselves (not really found one I feel connected to, so I've hopped around) but my experience has been that's not a good way to meet people, unless you spend a lot of time reading the Bible and have riveting conversations about it.

I've tried volunteering with the church and also volunteer opportunities that are not church-connected, but in either case I've met mostly people old enough to retire.

No one at work is my age or knows people my age.

Every service employee I meet is significantly older or younger than me, so being a regular somewhere won't help either. I haven't come across a place where people my age hang out on a regular basis.

My college doesn't have an alumni organization or Facebook page that is aimed at alumni so there's no options for even online reconnecting with them.

I haven't found a local group on Meetup that actually meets.

There's no one I've ever met that's had any kind of positive or neutral experience with any type of app or website for meeting people.

None of the Facebook groups I've joined have any people that either like what the page is geared towards nor have any other interests. For example, the local computer "enthusiast" group has no one that likes messing with computers, has hobbies beyond computers, or enjoys anything else. None of the gaming groups have any gamers nor people who like anything else. Even the admins don't reply to messages regardless of content. Thus I've pretty much given up meeting people online, even those that I don't plan on ever meeting in person.

Anyone have better ideas?
Hi @Benjamin3000,

Welcome to CC!

My goodness, when it comes to trying to meet people, it sounds like you've really done it all. I felt like I was running a social marathon just reading about everything you've tried -- so many kudos to you for truly leaving no stone unturned!!

I've tried many of the things you mentioned and have run into very similar frustrations -- either there's no one in your age range or you don't have anything in common with the people you're meeting, or both. And it all starts to feel like you're just spinning your wheels. (I remember going to a Meetup.com event over an hour away and kicking myself for a huge waste of time and gas money.)

I sure wish I could give you some ideas to try or tell you that I found something that really worked. All I've ever done is hung out in places online, and I've wound up meeting better friends (whom I eventually met in person) than what I was meeting in real life. Sure, I did meet a few people locally, but ironically, it's the long-distance online people (whom I did visit in person a long time later) who stuck around. I know that doesn't work for everyone, and I'm truly sorry nothing seems to have worked out for you (yet! There's still hope!)

If you'd like, maybe you can try giving this site a chance. We have some really good discussions here and if nothing else, you'll be around a lot of people who have or are experiencing the same things as you're describing.

I hope you'll join us in any threads/discussions that catch your interest so you can get to know the community, and we can get to know you.

God bless you for your perseverance, and I hope you find encouragement here. :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,781
8,509
113
#5
You know... Ya COULD just join the dark side and give up trying to find a mate. Do what YOU want to do instead, and if you find a mate along the way, so much the better.

Uh... It's the dark side because we have the light turned off. Trying to take a nap over here.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
12,589
10,195
113
#6
Have you tried 'Discord'?: With more than 500 million registered users, Discord is one of the most popular ways that gamers communicate online. Discord lets friends chat via voice, video, or text, and join servers where large communities gather.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,400
2,398
113
#7
Well not that long ago someone (who many of us thought was completely wrong and unrealisitc) said that sitting by yourself at starbucks was a dead giveaway that you were trying to meet someone. But the unfortunate fact is that 25-40 year olds (or maybe even 50 year olds) are busy with jobs and families (or trying to find someone to start one with usually through online dating) or else they're enjoying an often irresponsible extended adolescence and quite self absorbed in it.

So we hang out here where age is just a number and do our best to encourage each other and share the day to day stuff that you just want someone to care about like what the dog is doing, how the garden is growing, deep thoughts about food and tea / coffee (those are our kind of brewed beverages). And sometimes someone does find a local event or club they can join up with and enjoy. I haven't been to board game group in ages, but I know they're out there. I'm also involved in prayer team at church and an improv group (which yes seems to be a lot of retirement age people). Church is a big one to stay connected to somehow, even though most of us have our own stories of having difficulty finding a church we can tolerate, let alone genuinely like. We wish we had better advice, but we're all introverts who have had a hard time meeting people in real life so now all our friends live in the computer.