Men and sex addiction struggles

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

thedossman

Junior Member
May 17, 2018
8
0
0
#1
What scriptures or therapy has worked for you guy to overcome this addiction. Porn, chatrooms etc? Thanks!!
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
5,085
656
113
#2
This man's book, Eyes of Honor, is about as helpful and Spiritual an answer that I have ever come across. Here is a short video that summarizes it. Hope it helps:[video=youtube;HCNBCm0egWo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCNBCm0egWo[/video]
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,839
812
113
#4
It's addiction. Much like any other addiction reading a book or watching a video won't stop it. Accountability, filters and some counseling will be required if it's been around very long.
 

NoNameMcgee

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
4,912
953
113
#5
temptation in itself isnt sin

it is when you entertain the lustful thoughts and day dream or fantasize it becomes sin

then after you give into this you will try to manifest a way to feed your lusts


1.2 Corinthians 10:5
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

(when the temptation hits acknowledge it isnt of God)

2.1 Thessalonians 5
17 Pray without ceasing.

(even in public you can pray to God in your head..... if temptation strikes your thoughts beg and plead with God to deliver you from them until they go away..... they will probably come back but then you need to pray again "without ceasing")

3.Proverbs 24
16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.

4.
1 John 2
2 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous

(if you fail remember God is forgiving but try again to rely on Him in your weakness and not yourself)

5.james 1

2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

(be patient, God will provide growth if you are His child.... even if you mess up do not give up keep placing your faith in Him and dont feel like you need to get yourself "right" before you go back to Him..... RUSH to Him in the good or bad)


6.
sorry for the many verses man

here is a few more

hebrews 12
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

(if you are His child already and choose to sin He will chasten you..... there will be things that happen in order to teach you many lessons... if you keep messing up then you see many new trials in your life.... dont get upset because youre "trying so hard" and nothings going right..... just rely on God... endure in faith and cling to Him at all times and in time... you will see the evidence He has been at work in you)



7. last one
Philippians 1

6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
 

thedossman

Junior Member
May 17, 2018
8
0
0
#6
Thanks he really hit home on dividing the lies from truths as Jesus sees us as how satan does. Both have agendas for us. Watching this I realized why I ever started down this lonely path for so many years. I def have some work to do journaling etc. Thanks so much for sending this.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
5,085
656
113
#7
Thanks he really hit home on dividing the lies from truths as Jesus sees us as how satan does. Both have agendas for us. Watching this I realized why I ever started down this lonely path for so many years. I def have some work to do journaling etc. Thanks so much for sending this.
You're welcome. Avoiding the temptation of sin is not possible in this fallen world. I'm not recommending seeking it out, but although trying to avoid sin by trying to not be tempted, and accountability partners may have a small place in times of temptation, it is absolutely not the answer. In some ways, accountability partners is almost like taking part of the responsibility off of the person who is sinning. Not good. But they are valuable in the sense of praying for you.

It is not the freedom Christ empowers us with to shun our eyes at a beach or pool with bikini clad women lest we have lustful thoughts.

Like the alcoholic that now has no problem meeting friends at a bar because he has overcome the power of his addiction, the goal is to not let lustful temptations have any power as well. And I think this gentleman in the video has a fantastic, Spiritual approach to how this can happen
 
Last edited:

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,520
196
63
#8
Find a purpose. Find a woman. Find a couple good hobbies.

Sinful sexual practices often trace back to inactivity and a lack of fulfillment. In this era anyhow.
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
1,709
86
48
#9
I definitely recommend watching this video by Mark Gungor in it's entirety - all the way to the very end. He says excellent things and is so fun to watch! :)

https://youtu.be/a9BJ7I33dqs
 
Aug 2, 2009
20,836
946
113
#10
Find a purpose. Find a woman. Find a couple good hobbies.

Sinful sexual practices often trace back to inactivity and a lack of fulfillment. In this era anyhow.
That is the best and most sound advice I've ever seen on this topic.. :rolleyes:


He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22
 
Last edited:

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,520
196
63
#11
Very high praise. Thank you. :)

That is the best and most sound advice I've ever seen on this topic.. :rolleyes:


He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,908
601
113
#12
Find a purpose. Find a woman. Find a couple good hobbies.

Sinful sexual practices often trace back to inactivity and a lack of fulfillment. In this era anyhow.
That is the best and most sound advice I've ever seen on this topic.. :rolleyes:


He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22
I understand that marrying is a good thing, but I know that if a guy said something to me along the lines of, "Hey, I have a sex addiction, and I've got my eye on marrying you as a means of coping with it," I would run in the other direction before he could even finish the sentence. I'd be all for trying to cheer him on and pray for him as a friend, but I would be concerned about being the means through which someone would be trying to legalize their addiction.

I get that marriage was designed by God to be an outlet for sexual desires and feelings, and I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people who marry in order to cope with an addiction to sexual feelings find themselves greatly disappointed.

Granted, I would love to post a poll in the Family Forum that asked, "Did Getting Married Cure Your Sex Addiction Problem?" but I'm guessing that wouldn't be deemed appropriate for this forum (as is the case with many of the questions I wish I could ask on CC.)

I could be wrong, but I think that unless the root issues are dealt with before getting married, there is a danger of trying to turn a potential spouse into one's own version of a live sex toy, and that will cause any marriage to disintegrate very quickly.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
7,520
196
63
#13
Notice how I didn't float marriage alone.

Sexual sin is multi-dimensional. Marriage is the proper outlet for those urges, but a man so lost in sexual sin that he's unmarriageable has other issues that need addressing. They can certainly be dealt with while dating.

I understand that marrying is a good thing, but I know that if a guy said something to me along the lines of, "Hey, I have a sex addiction, and I've got my eye on marrying you as a means of coping with it," I would run in the other direction before he could even finish the sentence. I'd be all for trying to cheer him on and pray for him as a friend, but I would be concerned about being the means through which someone would be trying to legalize their addiction.

I get that marriage was designed by God to be an outlet for sexual desires and feelings, and I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people who marry in order to cope with an addiction to sexual feelings find themselves greatly disappointed.

Granted, I would love to post a poll in the Family Forum that asked, "Did Getting Married Cure Your Sex Addiction Problem?" but I'm guessing that wouldn't be deemed appropriate for this forum (as is the case with many of the questions I wish I could ask on CC.)

I could be wrong, but I think that unless the root issues are dealt with before getting married, there is a danger of trying to turn a potential spouse into one's own version of a live sex toy, and that will cause any marriage to disintegrate very quickly.
 
Aug 2, 2009
20,836
946
113
#14
I understand that marrying is a good thing, but I know that if a guy said something to me along the lines of, "Hey, I have a sex addiction, and I've got my eye on marrying you as a means of coping with it," I would run in the other direction before he could even finish the sentence. I'd be all for trying to cheer him on and pray for him as a friend, but I would be concerned about being the means through which someone would be trying to legalize their addiction.

I get that marriage was designed by God to be an outlet for sexual desires and feelings, and I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people who marry in order to cope with an addiction to sexual feelings find themselves greatly disappointed.

Granted, I would love to post a poll in the Family Forum that asked, "Did Getting Married Cure Your Sex Addiction Problem?" but I'm guessing that wouldn't be deemed appropriate for this forum (as is the case with many of the questions I wish I could ask on CC.)

I could be wrong, but I think that unless the root issues are dealt with before getting married, there is a danger of trying to turn a potential spouse into one's own version of a live sex toy, and that will cause any marriage to disintegrate very quickly.
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
(1 Corinthians 7:9 NIV)

Of course one shouldn't just grab the nearest woman and marry her... or maybe that's what we've all been doing wrong! :rolleyes: But I think the point is that one should focus their mind on looking for a life partner instead of on taming their urges... (if that even makes sense :p)
 
Last edited:

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,908
601
113
#15
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
(1 Corinthians 7:9 NIV)

Of course one shouldn't just grab the nearest woman and marry her... or maybe that's what we've all been doing wrong! :rolleyes: But I think the point is that one should focus their mind on looking for a life partner instead of on taming their urges... (if that even makes sense :p)
I totally understand what you're saying, Zero.

As single people, we are told that verse at least once a week by people who try to counsel us in our state of singleness.

But what I'm trying to say is that I think this gets misinterpreted as, "I NEED to find someone to marry... IN ORDER to tame, cure, or curb my porn/sex addiction," and that can be a very damaging motive.

I always say that the best cure for singleness is to spend about a half hour reading the Family Forum, especially the threads about troubled marriages. I am convinced that in many cases, if you read between the lines, the couple involved got married because they were looking for a way to cure their own loneliness and wanting to have sex, and so they married a bit too early on in order to try to get to those things.

I have often wanted to write a series of thread about whether or not these types of assumptions cause people to marry too early and for the wrong reasons, and whether or not it actually cured all the ills they thought that marriage was supposed to cure (for instance, "I Got Married and It Made Me Stop Looking at Porn!", "I Got Married And No Longer Feel Addicted to Sexual Things!", "I Got Married and NEVER Felt Lonely Again!", "I Got Married and Now My Self-Esteem is Through the Roof!", etc.)

However, because all my questions would revolve around highly controversial (not to mention personal) subjects, I usually opt to refrain out of respect for this site and the people who work so hard to make it possible.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
9,082
601
113
#16
If a person is addicted to sex/porn before marriage, those addictions will go with him/her in marriage. Maybe the addiction will “calm down” for a time because there’s an “outlet,” but soon, the person will go back to what the mind/body is used to.
 

Waggles

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2017
2,025
377
83
South Australia
adelaiderevival.com
#18
What scriptures or therapy has worked for you guy to overcome this addiction. Porn, chatrooms etc? Thanks!!
The fear of God and a love to do righteousness.
Praying in tongues that is praying in the Holy Spirit;
this prayer is powerful and cleansing with the Holy Spirit burning
up sinful chaff.
 

MikaelGor

Junior Member
May 18, 2018
7
0
0
#19
Good evening :) as someone who from childhood had sex addictions, porn addictions, depression, and just addictions in general I certainly would like to say these thoughts, and lusts are always there, But Praise God who teaches us to die to self and live to Christ, I personally can say Gods word will change your thoughts, attitudes, and actions, and trusting in Him will produce results, Thank You Jesus! But there are small things that over the years have learned to do and will say if perchance it helps 1 person, thank God cause this struggle will cause alot of guilt and condemnation which are not of God, 1. The earliest thing I remember doing was avoiding girls altogether (not wise) it hinders relationship and growth, and hurts future relationships, stay positive! Gods there to help! Pray, and ask for help! what helped me (especially while sex was portrayed in tv) all the time was continuing to meditate on 2 Corinthians 10:5, We are destroying speculation and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and we are TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE TO THE OBÉDIENCE OF CHRIST, this wasnt a 1 time cure, everytime it came or comes up this scripture is go too! 2.If your tempted with your eyes and lust easily after body image look away! They are people not objects, why not instead look them in the eyes, nothing shuts down a bad thought quicker than someone staring right back at you, this is hard but some of my best conversations/friendships started by making eye contact not the other areas... And before you know it you know the person personally and the urge or lust just dissipates,3. If this area troubles you and you truly want to change, do it, for example your buddies having a movie night, all the movies have sex throughout, you can get up and do something else, you may get flack for it but only you can control you and the world would love to have you, luckily you are a child of God and you are not of this world, in it but not of it!!! It seems hard, it may be but if you want to live an awesome life you have to break the mold!! Ive literally ODd multiple times and blacked out acting stupid cause id rather have ppl in my life than be alone (follower) well I just never knew I wasnt alone!!!!! God loves us has promised never to leave us or forsake us, has promised that if we cry Out in trouble He will hear and deliver us, promise after promise after promise! God is good seek Him and you wont need to struggle along wondering why u keep giving in and cant break these problems, trust me He is faithful and true, He always leads you through, yay though I walk THROUGH the valley; they crossed THROUGH the Red sea on dry land, Jesus walked THROUGH the storm, THROUGH the crowds trying to stone Him, He doesnt hit a wall and stop WE do that, God will take you THROUGH if you believe! As I said if this helps even 1 person Praise God, Thank you for your time, God Bless and feel free to message me if anything resonates with you about this post! I love you all! God loves you! We love Him because He first loved us 1 John 4:19 Thank God for Jesus!
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,839
812
113
#20
If marriage stops porn addiction then why do we see so many married women coming here saying there husband is a porn addict?
Porn addiction isn't sex addiction. Brain scans show porn addicts brains and heroin addicts brains are actually quite similar. Telling a porn addict to get married only means he'll take his addiction into the marriage.