Need some advice on how to court a woman I've known for awhile

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Aug 28, 2020
79
24
8
#1
Let me add some context to this before I get into the meat of this:

I asked for advise on here a while ago about a woman I dated this past year in late Summer (ask for details later about it later). For those that might remember me, I thought things were going to work out, but ultimately did not. That woman I dated is not a Christian and she has so many more things going on with her than what I thought. Her sister, who I'm friends with, told me quite a bit about that woman's past and let's just say things turned out for the best this way. Her sister told me I didn't do anything wrong, which was a relief, but rather the woman I dated, and I was told by the sister that the woman now regrets ending the relationship. But I won't gloat about that nor mock any of the problems she is having right now. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Anyway, the reason I brought that up is because of this:

The week before I went out with the woman I dated for the last time, I happened to meet another woman at my place of employment. At the time, I didn't think much of her because I was preoccupied thinking about the woman I was already dating. Although, this other woman is nice, soft spoken, and pretty. After a few weeks, I didn't see her for awhile and during that period of time I was in the dumps because the woman I dated and I called off our relationship (and I really liked her to the point I cared about the person). My co-workers were trying to cheer me up. One of them talked about the woman that came in and was coming back in to do some business. She did and we got to talking, but time was limited and didn't get to know more about her. However, I enjoyed talking to her and I found out she's a Christian and attends church regularly. So that was good to know. After that day, though, I hadn't seen nor heard from her in awhile.

Fast forward 2-3 months later. With this pandemic going on, it was hard to go out and meet people. After the woman I was dating, I wanted to get back in the game. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to go on. I even tried to online date on several sites, but nothing came of any of it during that time between late Summer to about late Fall-early Winter. When I was looking for a place that had some place where people can gather, there's a church close by to where I live that holds Sunday evening services. I knew of the church but never attended any of the services (I go to where my brother preaches), so I thought I'd go and check it out. When I did, I met new people, some who already knew my family, some who I've never met before, and some that were familiar faces I've seen come through work. That same night, that woman I met during time I was dating someone else was there.

She didn't recognize me at first (because of the mask and it's been a few months) but then she remembered. I found out a few things about her: her dad is the head pastor of that church (and a good and smart man) and she worked for the Christian school that was connected to it as a music teacher. She also enjoys the outdoors when the weather is cooler, and plays guitar and piano. Her mom is also a faculty member for that school and is the pianist for the church services. Again, because of time, we haven't had a chance to talk much. My workload for Mondays can be hectic, so I haven't imposed myself on her. Slowly, though we've been greeting each other every time meet and have talked a few times. Needless to say, I'm trying to take it slow (but not too slow) and not rush her.

So this is where I'm at now with her:

She's single, my age, no kids, has not been married, a (head) pastor's daughter works, shares many beliefs and values that I carry (FAR more than the other woman), musically gifted, a good person, a good family, and she accepts Jesus Christ as her Lord and personal Savior (and she's pretty, which is a nice bonus). I'm sure she's not perfect, but who is in today's world, so that doesn't bother me. Can't say if she's rebellious because, well, I haven't seen it from her, despite the stereotyped reputations of kids of pastors/preachers (I'm already witnessing my brother's two little boys). Otherwise, if she was, I wouldn't be telling people all this and I probably would have passed on her long ago, so I don't have any fear of the rebellious child vibes coming from her.

Now, I never tried to court a daughter of a pastor, let alone ever been interested in one. How do I approach this? I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her again this or next Sunday night, but I don't know how to engage her a little more, just knowing what I know now. I'm keeping my options open, sure, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't make it with her. But this one has me the most interested, more so than the last woman I dated (and that one I knew since we were kids). Any piece of advise would be helpful, and, to be honest, this may be the first good woman I've been interested in for a long time (and, man, was I a fool falling for the bad ones). So please, tell what you would do in this situation and pray that, no matter what happens, things will go smoothly. Thanks!
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,135
1,595
113
#2
Ask her for her phone number. If she is not interested she will probably not give it to you and that could save you from any awkward or embarrassing moment of asking her out at church and her possibly saying no, she's not interested.

If she gives you her phone number. Then call her and try to get to know her better and in doing so you should be able to tell whether she is interested or not. If she seems interested, then ask her out and see where it goes from there.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
1,511
1,095
113
#3
I would try to bond with her parents also, as well as the woman. The parents would want to make sure that their future son-in-law is a Godly man and is very involved in church, so you would need to pass their tests. You should not approach a pastor's daughter as you would any other woman. The other thing is, are you ready for marriage? Things can go very quickly once you start dating a pastor's daughter.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
16,158
7,961
113
#4
Now, I never tried to court a daughter of a pastor, let alone ever been interested in one. How do I approach this? I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her again this or next Sunday night, but I don't know how to engage her a little more, just knowing what I know now.
Looks like this person is an excellent choice, and circumstances have worked in your favor. So why are you dithering around?

Invite her and her whole family for dinner, and let them get to know you. If you're a good chef, so much the better. Then after dinner, ask her is she is free for a coffee the next day. After that it is up to you.

You might want to start attending their services also, so that they know where you stand and what kind of a person you are. She probably wants to see a Christian man in her life.
 
Aug 28, 2020
79
24
8
#5
Looks like this person is an excellent choice, and circumstances have worked in your favor. So why are you dithering around?

Invite her and her whole family for dinner, and let them get to know you. If you're a good chef, so much the better. Then after dinner, ask her is she is free for a coffee the next day. After that it is up to you.

You might want to start attending their services also, so that they know where you stand and what kind of a person you are. She probably wants to see a Christian man in her life.
Good ideas. Coffee would be good.

Now, normally, I would have great confidence around people, and the last girl I dated, I never had a problem approaching her and asking if she wanted to do something. This one, well, you can say I'm a little shy. I shouldn't be, but that's how I feel, right now. That's why I haven't pulled the trigger yet. I think I need just a little more time. I'll make sure not to waste too much, but I don't want things to be too awkward for both of us.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,975
2,019
113
#6
Good ideas. Coffee would be good.

Now, normally, I would have great confidence around people, and the last girl I dated, I never had a problem approaching her and asking if she wanted to do something. This one, well, you can say I'm a little shy. I shouldn't be, but that's how I feel, right now. That's why I haven't pulled the trigger yet. I think I need just a little more time. I'll make sure not to waste too much, but I don't want things to be too awkward for both of us.
If she sees in you as much as you see in her, you'll both decide that the awkward is worth struggling through to interact with each other (and laugh about it later).
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,138
1,091
113
#7
Let me add some context to this before I get into the meat of this:

I asked for advise on here a while ago about a woman I dated this past year in late Summer (ask for details later about it later). For those that might remember me, I thought things were going to work out, but ultimately did not. That woman I dated is not a Christian and she has so many more things going on with her than what I thought. Her sister, who I'm friends with, told me quite a bit about that woman's past and let's just say things turned out for the best this way. Her sister told me I didn't do anything wrong, which was a relief, but rather the woman I dated, and I was told by the sister that the woman now regrets ending the relationship. But I won't gloat about that nor mock any of the problems she is having right now. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Anyway, the reason I brought that up is because of this:

The week before I went out with the woman I dated for the last time, I happened to meet another woman at my place of employment. At the time, I didn't think much of her because I was preoccupied thinking about the woman I was already dating. Although, this other woman is nice, soft spoken, and pretty. After a few weeks, I didn't see her for awhile and during that period of time I was in the dumps because the woman I dated and I called off our relationship (and I really liked her to the point I cared about the person). My co-workers were trying to cheer me up. One of them talked about the woman that came in and was coming back in to do some business. She did and we got to talking, but time was limited and didn't get to know more about her. However, I enjoyed talking to her and I found out she's a Christian and attends church regularly. So that was good to know. After that day, though, I hadn't seen nor heard from her in awhile.

Fast forward 2-3 months later. With this pandemic going on, it was hard to go out and meet people. After the woman I was dating, I wanted to get back in the game. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to go on. I even tried to online date on several sites, but nothing came of any of it during that time between late Summer to about late Fall-early Winter. When I was looking for a place that had some place where people can gather, there's a church close by to where I live that holds Sunday evening services. I knew of the church but never attended any of the services (I go to where my brother preaches), so I thought I'd go and check it out. When I did, I met new people, some who already knew my family, some who I've never met before, and some that were familiar faces I've seen come through work. That same night, that woman I met during time I was dating someone else was there.

She didn't recognize me at first (because of the mask and it's been a few months) but then she remembered. I found out a few things about her: her dad is the head pastor of that church (and a good and smart man) and she worked for the Christian school that was connected to it as a music teacher. She also enjoys the outdoors when the weather is cooler, and plays guitar and piano. Her mom is also a faculty member for that school and is the pianist for the church services. Again, because of time, we haven't had a chance to talk much. My workload for Mondays can be hectic, so I haven't imposed myself on her. Slowly, though we've been greeting each other every time meet and have talked a few times. Needless to say, I'm trying to take it slow (but not too slow) and not rush her.

So this is where I'm at now with her:

She's single, my age, no kids, has not been married, a (head) pastor's daughter works, shares many beliefs and values that I carry (FAR more than the other woman), musically gifted, a good person, a good family, and she accepts Jesus Christ as her Lord and personal Savior (and she's pretty, which is a nice bonus). I'm sure she's not perfect, but who is in today's world, so that doesn't bother me. Can't say if she's rebellious because, well, I haven't seen it from her, despite the stereotyped reputations of kids of pastors/preachers (I'm already witnessing my brother's two little boys). Otherwise, if she was, I wouldn't be telling people all this and I probably would have passed on her long ago, so I don't have any fear of the rebellious child vibes coming from her.

Now, I never tried to court a daughter of a pastor, let alone ever been interested in one. How do I approach this? I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her again this or next Sunday night, but I don't know how to engage her a little more, just knowing what I know now. I'm keeping my options open, sure, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't make it with her. But this one has me the most interested, more so than the last woman I dated (and that one I knew since we were kids). Any piece of advise would be helpful, and, to be honest, this may be the first good woman I've been interested in for a long time (and, man, was I a fool falling for the bad ones). So please, tell what you would do in this situation and pray that, no matter what happens, things will go smoothly. Thanks!
Why I find this cute and sweet :giggle: I got no advice for you but a prayer for you and for that woman 😇 I pray for wisdom and guidance for you and her in Jesus name! amen!


All the best! God bless ❤
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
12,922
4,606
113
#8
well what I would do if I was a man and wanted to let a woman know Im interested would be to give her some flowers.

Doesnt have to be a huge bunch, could just be a single one, be creative. if you are too shy to talk just hide it somewhere she will find it and leave a note. It could be something like 'I think you are special' or anything God wants you to write on it. If you want it to be a bit more mysterious just say from your secret admirer.

She'll then have to figure out how find you to thank you and then just go from there.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
2,015
978
113
#9
Let me add some context to this before I get into the meat of this:

I asked for advise on here a while ago about a woman I dated this past year in late Summer (ask for details later about it later). For those that might remember me, I thought things were going to work out, but ultimately did not. That woman I dated is not a Christian and she has so many more things going on with her than what I thought. Her sister, who I'm friends with, told me quite a bit about that woman's past and let's just say things turned out for the best this way. Her sister told me I didn't do anything wrong, which was a relief, but rather the woman I dated, and I was told by the sister that the woman now regrets ending the relationship. But I won't gloat about that nor mock any of the problems she is having right now. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Anyway, the reason I brought that up is because of this:

The week before I went out with the woman I dated for the last time, I happened to meet another woman at my place of employment. At the time, I didn't think much of her because I was preoccupied thinking about the woman I was already dating. Although, this other woman is nice, soft spoken, and pretty. After a few weeks, I didn't see her for awhile and during that period of time I was in the dumps because the woman I dated and I called off our relationship (and I really liked her to the point I cared about the person). My co-workers were trying to cheer me up. One of them talked about the woman that came in and was coming back in to do some business. She did and we got to talking, but time was limited and didn't get to know more about her. However, I enjoyed talking to her and I found out she's a Christian and attends church regularly. So that was good to know. After that day, though, I hadn't seen nor heard from her in awhile.

Fast forward 2-3 months later. With this pandemic going on, it was hard to go out and meet people. After the woman I was dating, I wanted to get back in the game. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to go on. I even tried to online date on several sites, but nothing came of any of it during that time between late Summer to about late Fall-early Winter. When I was looking for a place that had some place where people can gather, there's a church close by to where I live that holds Sunday evening services. I knew of the church but never attended any of the services (I go to where my brother preaches), so I thought I'd go and check it out. When I did, I met new people, some who already knew my family, some who I've never met before, and some that were familiar faces I've seen come through work. That same night, that woman I met during time I was dating someone else was there.

She didn't recognize me at first (because of the mask and it's been a few months) but then she remembered. I found out a few things about her: her dad is the head pastor of that church (and a good and smart man) and she worked for the Christian school that was connected to it as a music teacher. She also enjoys the outdoors when the weather is cooler, and plays guitar and piano. Her mom is also a faculty member for that school and is the pianist for the church services. Again, because of time, we haven't had a chance to talk much. My workload for Mondays can be hectic, so I haven't imposed myself on her. Slowly, though we've been greeting each other every time meet and have talked a few times. Needless to say, I'm trying to take it slow (but not too slow) and not rush her.

So this is where I'm at now with her:

She's single, my age, no kids, has not been married, a (head) pastor's daughter works, shares many beliefs and values that I carry (FAR more than the other woman), musically gifted, a good person, a good family, and she accepts Jesus Christ as her Lord and personal Savior (and she's pretty, which is a nice bonus). I'm sure she's not perfect, but who is in today's world, so that doesn't bother me. Can't say if she's rebellious because, well, I haven't seen it from her, despite the stereotyped reputations of kids of pastors/preachers (I'm already witnessing my brother's two little boys). Otherwise, if she was, I wouldn't be telling people all this and I probably would have passed on her long ago, so I don't have any fear of the rebellious child vibes coming from her.

Now, I never tried to court a daughter of a pastor, let alone ever been interested in one. How do I approach this? I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her again this or next Sunday night, but I don't know how to engage her a little more, just knowing what I know now. I'm keeping my options open, sure, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't make it with her. But this one has me the most interested, more so than the last woman I dated (and that one I knew since we were kids). Any piece of advise would be helpful, and, to be honest, this may be the first good woman I've been interested in for a long time (and, man, was I a fool falling for the bad ones). So please, tell what you would do in this situation and pray that, no matter what happens, things will go smoothly. Thanks!

There is only two ways to approach this, run as fast you can, or ask her to marry you. O.k., maybe there is a third option, like don't do anything that kinda says, that's probably your best bet right there!

Honestly, you sound like she is the best thing, since ice cream. Remember be like ice cream, be cool. Be prepared for rejection and be prepared for success, but always be like ice cream......someone always wants ice cream. Not me though, it has to much sugar, and really not that nutritious.
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
1,104
347
83
35
#10
Let me add some context to this before I get into the meat of this:

I asked for advise on here a while ago about a woman I dated this past year in late Summer (ask for details later about it later). For those that might remember me, I thought things were going to work out, but ultimately did not. That woman I dated is not a Christian and she has so many more things going on with her than what I thought. Her sister, who I'm friends with, told me quite a bit about that woman's past and let's just say things turned out for the best this way. Her sister told me I didn't do anything wrong, which was a relief, but rather the woman I dated, and I was told by the sister that the woman now regrets ending the relationship. But I won't gloat about that nor mock any of the problems she is having right now. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Anyway, the reason I brought that up is because of this:

The week before I went out with the woman I dated for the last time, I happened to meet another woman at my place of employment. At the time, I didn't think much of her because I was preoccupied thinking about the woman I was already dating. Although, this other woman is nice, soft spoken, and pretty. After a few weeks, I didn't see her for awhile and during that period of time I was in the dumps because the woman I dated and I called off our relationship (and I really liked her to the point I cared about the person). My co-workers were trying to cheer me up. One of them talked about the woman that came in and was coming back in to do some business. She did and we got to talking, but time was limited and didn't get to know more about her. However, I enjoyed talking to her and I found out she's a Christian and attends church regularly. So that was good to know. After that day, though, I hadn't seen nor heard from her in awhile.

Fast forward 2-3 months later. With this pandemic going on, it was hard to go out and meet people. After the woman I was dating, I wanted to get back in the game. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to go on. I even tried to online date on several sites, but nothing came of any of it during that time between late Summer to about late Fall-early Winter. When I was looking for a place that had some place where people can gather, there's a church close by to where I live that holds Sunday evening services. I knew of the church but never attended any of the services (I go to where my brother preaches), so I thought I'd go and check it out. When I did, I met new people, some who already knew my family, some who I've never met before, and some that were familiar faces I've seen come through work. That same night, that woman I met during time I was dating someone else was there.

She didn't recognize me at first (because of the mask and it's been a few months) but then she remembered. I found out a few things about her: her dad is the head pastor of that church (and a good and smart man) and she worked for the Christian school that was connected to it as a music teacher. She also enjoys the outdoors when the weather is cooler, and plays guitar and piano. Her mom is also a faculty member for that school and is the pianist for the church services. Again, because of time, we haven't had a chance to talk much. My workload for Mondays can be hectic, so I haven't imposed myself on her. Slowly, though we've been greeting each other every time meet and have talked a few times. Needless to say, I'm trying to take it slow (but not too slow) and not rush her.

So this is where I'm at now with her:

She's single, my age, no kids, has not been married, a (head) pastor's daughter works, shares many beliefs and values that I carry (FAR more than the other woman), musically gifted, a good person, a good family, and she accepts Jesus Christ as her Lord and personal Savior (and she's pretty, which is a nice bonus). I'm sure she's not perfect, but who is in today's world, so that doesn't bother me. Can't say if she's rebellious because, well, I haven't seen it from her, despite the stereotyped reputations of kids of pastors/preachers (I'm already witnessing my brother's two little boys). Otherwise, if she was, I wouldn't be telling people all this and I probably would have passed on her long ago, so I don't have any fear of the rebellious child vibes coming from her.

Now, I never tried to court a daughter of a pastor, let alone ever been interested in one. How do I approach this? I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her again this or next Sunday night, but I don't know how to engage her a little more, just knowing what I know now. I'm keeping my options open, sure, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't make it with her. But this one has me the most interested, more so than the last woman I dated (and that one I knew since we were kids). Any piece of advise would be helpful, and, to be honest, this may be the first good woman I've been interested in for a long time (and, man, was I a fool falling for the bad ones). So please, tell what you would do in this situation and pray that, no matter what happens, things will go smoothly. Thanks!
I would add her as a friend on Skype and just keep it that way for months just talking back and forth as friends, seeing what she's
about like her life philosophy or if she has constant drama issues, baggage and whatnot. Also try to keep it mostly online because if shes weird you wanna be able to make a smooth exit and not have to deal with her pulling up to your job, home or pestering your friends and family or accusing you of something. Im not saying that she is like that but i have seen some women that are.

Take your time in getting to know her because if you give people enough time eventually they tell on themselves. Also on the flip side of things when you take your time your transition into courting/dating will be so much easier because you were friends first, and you won't be needing to flex and put on a show on actual dates and whatnot. It also lets her know that your not some kind of basic male that just wants sex, it also gives her time to figure you out too. But anyways that's just my opinion/ advice.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,684
13,840
113
66
Tennessee
#11
well what I would do if I was a man and wanted to let a woman know Im interested would be to give her some flowers.

Doesnt have to be a huge bunch, could just be a single one, be creative. if you are too shy to talk just hide it somewhere she will find it and leave a note. It could be something like 'I think you are special' or anything God wants you to write on it. If you want it to be a bit more mysterious just say from your secret admirer.

She'll then have to figure out how find you to thank you and then just go from there.
Sounds like a good plan. Hopefully, she can take a hint from the note and flowers.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,684
13,840
113
66
Tennessee
#12
Let me add some context to this before I get into the meat of this:

I asked for advise on here a while ago about a woman I dated this past year in late Summer (ask for details later about it later). For those that might remember me, I thought things were going to work out, but ultimately did not. That woman I dated is not a Christian and she has so many more things going on with her than what I thought. Her sister, who I'm friends with, told me quite a bit about that woman's past and let's just say things turned out for the best this way. Her sister told me I didn't do anything wrong, which was a relief, but rather the woman I dated, and I was told by the sister that the woman now regrets ending the relationship. But I won't gloat about that nor mock any of the problems she is having right now. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Anyway, the reason I brought that up is because of this:

The week before I went out with the woman I dated for the last time, I happened to meet another woman at my place of employment. At the time, I didn't think much of her because I was preoccupied thinking about the woman I was already dating. Although, this other woman is nice, soft spoken, and pretty. After a few weeks, I didn't see her for awhile and during that period of time I was in the dumps because the woman I dated and I called off our relationship (and I really liked her to the point I cared about the person). My co-workers were trying to cheer me up. One of them talked about the woman that came in and was coming back in to do some business. She did and we got to talking, but time was limited and didn't get to know more about her. However, I enjoyed talking to her and I found out she's a Christian and attends church regularly. So that was good to know. After that day, though, I hadn't seen nor heard from her in awhile.

Fast forward 2-3 months later. With this pandemic going on, it was hard to go out and meet people. After the woman I was dating, I wanted to get back in the game. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to go on. I even tried to online date on several sites, but nothing came of any of it during that time between late Summer to about late Fall-early Winter. When I was looking for a place that had some place where people can gather, there's a church close by to where I live that holds Sunday evening services. I knew of the church but never attended any of the services (I go to where my brother preaches), so I thought I'd go and check it out. When I did, I met new people, some who already knew my family, some who I've never met before, and some that were familiar faces I've seen come through work. That same night, that woman I met during time I was dating someone else was there.

She didn't recognize me at first (because of the mask and it's been a few months) but then she remembered. I found out a few things about her: her dad is the head pastor of that church (and a good and smart man) and she worked for the Christian school that was connected to it as a music teacher. She also enjoys the outdoors when the weather is cooler, and plays guitar and piano. Her mom is also a faculty member for that school and is the pianist for the church services. Again, because of time, we haven't had a chance to talk much. My workload for Mondays can be hectic, so I haven't imposed myself on her. Slowly, though we've been greeting each other every time meet and have talked a few times. Needless to say, I'm trying to take it slow (but not too slow) and not rush her.

So this is where I'm at now with her:

She's single, my age, no kids, has not been married, a (head) pastor's daughter works, shares many beliefs and values that I carry (FAR more than the other woman), musically gifted, a good person, a good family, and she accepts Jesus Christ as her Lord and personal Savior (and she's pretty, which is a nice bonus). I'm sure she's not perfect, but who is in today's world, so that doesn't bother me. Can't say if she's rebellious because, well, I haven't seen it from her, despite the stereotyped reputations of kids of pastors/preachers (I'm already witnessing my brother's two little boys). Otherwise, if she was, I wouldn't be telling people all this and I probably would have passed on her long ago, so I don't have any fear of the rebellious child vibes coming from her.

Now, I never tried to court a daughter of a pastor, let alone ever been interested in one. How do I approach this? I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing her again this or next Sunday night, but I don't know how to engage her a little more, just knowing what I know now. I'm keeping my options open, sure, and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't make it with her. But this one has me the most interested, more so than the last woman I dated (and that one I knew since we were kids). Any piece of advise would be helpful, and, to be honest, this may be the first good woman I've been interested in for a long time (and, man, was I a fool falling for the bad ones). So please, tell what you would do in this situation and pray that, no matter what happens, things will go smoothly. Thanks!
It is imperative that you let her know that you find her very attractive and are very much interested in seeing her outside of church. You have already prayed about this so now is the time to take bold decisive action before someone else snags her up. Then it will be too late. I wouldn't mention anything about this previous relationship of yours unless she asks. Give her your full focus and attention. My counsel is to approach her and get the conversation started. If it doesn't work out so be it. Feint heart does not win fair maiden. Think positive and believe that this is going to work out and stop being so tentative. Now is the time to get your head into the game and start taking positive steps.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#13
Any piece of advise would be helpful, and, to be honest, this may be the first good woman I've been interested in for a long time (and, man, was I a fool falling for the bad ones).
Been there, done that and bought the T-shirt. Chock it up as a learning experience.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#14
Good ideas. Coffee would be good.

Now, normally, I would have great confidence around people, and the last girl I dated, I never had a problem approaching her and asking if she wanted to do something. This one, well, you can say I'm a little shy. I shouldn't be, but that's how I feel, right now. That's why I haven't pulled the trigger yet. I think I need just a little more time. I'll make sure not to waste too much, but I don't want things to be too awkward for both of us.
Forget about the last girl that you dated and focus on the one that you want to date and hopefully form a loving enduring relationship.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#15
There is only two ways to approach this, run as fast you can, or ask her to marry you. O.k., maybe there is a third option, like don't do anything that kinda says, that's probably your best bet right there!

Honestly, you sound like she is the best thing, since ice cream. Remember be like ice cream, be cool. Be prepared for rejection and be prepared for success, but always be like ice cream......someone always wants ice cream. Not me though, it has to much sugar, and really not that nutritious.
Outstanding counsel.
 
Aug 28, 2020
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#16
Thanks for the advice, everyone! This has been helpful. There’s a good chance I’ll see this woman Sunday, so I’m hoping to catch up with her and get the ball rolling. I won’t go too fast, but I’m thinking something simple to start. Nothing over the top, like one of our coffee shops here in town or a simple lunch.

I’d also like to get more engaged with her dad. Something I learned is get on a woman’s father’s good side. He’s already a good man, but I want to let him know that I’m not one of those guys that will take advantage of her, assuming if she and I start seeing each other. I couldn’t tell you how many horrible guys take advantage of women who come out of good families, and how they ruin them. I don’t want to do that here (or ever).

Ultimately, though, the decision is up to God whether or not this woman and I to have a serious relationship in our future. I keep telling myself that if He points to me a life of being single, I’ll live it. But I know that He sees that I do want to be with someone, and if He allows me to do so, something tells me that I will, more than likely, jump several hurdles to win this woman over. But I’ll have to pray about it and cross those bridges when I get to them.
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
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#17
I’d also like to get more engaged with her dad. Something I learned is get on a woman’s father’s good side. He’s already a good man, but I want to let him know that I’m not one of those guys that will take advantage of her, assuming if she and I start seeing each other.


Yay! You sound like a wonderful guy 😊 Nothing melts a woman's heart more than seeing you making an effort to get to know her family too 😊 a guy who is like that will get an additional "pogi"(handsome) points from me :oops:


I am sure, She will appreciate it 😍