Opinions on staying single forever

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,338
510
113
28
Arizona
#1
Unlike those who make threads like these in sadness or desperation at the thought of “never meeting the one,” I’m genuinely interested what your opinions are about the notion of not being married ever. Men and women.

I feel like the notion of “old maid” and “grumpy old man who has no one” are kind of a long held but not necessarily true stereotype. I’ve had family members that gladly gave up the idea of marriage in order to take care of family and had very full lives. There are also missionaries I’m sure that never got married, and had thousands of children that they worked with and saw grew up.

What do you all think?
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,581
5,214
113
#2
I think it is so individual. I go back and forth as sometimes the ache of loneliness seems too potent to bear. On the other hand, those moments are only temporary and He sustains me. Like having someone is not always comfortable, being single is the same. Ups and downs and all arounds. I was married, though, many years ago, so maybe my answer doesn't really apply. I admire those who commit to serving the Lord as a missionary. I sometimes think it would be so wonderful to find a man of God to serve with. If that is my Lord's plan for my humble life, so be it. If not, He is enough. I do not actively seek so I doubt a fella of God will be knocking on my door, lol.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
14,683
2,518
113
#3
Marriage will happen, or it will not happen. The important thing is to not make your life wait for it to happen, because if it never happens you will have wasted your whole life.

Life is what you make of it. Life is also, as they say, what happens while you are making other plans. If you don't make anything of your life because you think your life MUST have some element it is missing, your life will be nothing.

What matters is the life that is lived, not whether it is lived with somebody else. It is important to live life as it comes.

Will I be single forever? We'll find out when I die or when I get married. But I'm not putting my life on hold until then.
 
S

Stranger36147

Guest
#4
Staying single forever? Sounds good to me. 👍
 

Brandon123

Active member
May 15, 2019
157
89
28
#5
I think that if I had to choose I would have women as friends and remain single..but I still wonder if that’s really Gods will for me...I’m not sure as of yet...
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
362
366
63
#6
Some people are meant to be single, while others are not. Neither group is more important than the other and the Lord will use both groups of people for different purposes.

It’s really important not to define yourself solely as being single or being married because that truly isn’t what life is all about. People who get stuck in just living within these labels are generally unhappy. This happens just as often with married people as it does with single people.

We have a job to do and that’s to be the light, share the truth and glorify God, you can’t do that if you don’t get out there and live your life.

In saying that, I look forward to finding out what the Lord has for me, getting married or staying single, as a stepping stone in the bigger picture. He will help me with either, I’m certain. 🙂
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,338
1,137
113
#7
I think we had an 85 post thread on this topic recently.

But the notion of the grumpy old man woman has never come across as it's because they're not married. Never once in my life have I ever even had that thought or seen that suggested.
Typically it's the opposite. They are mean people and never wanted to get married. Or a few times their spouse died and they were bitter.

It's not that original of a concept, especially on this site where it seems at least once a month someone makes a thread about being content as a single and never getting married.

I'd say about 90% of the misery people have over singleness is self inflicted. 10% is the natural feelings of longing to have another.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
609
183
43
#9
Marriage is a life sentence unless you get paroled. Personally, I think marriage is a business, if the positives outweigh the negatives by a huge margin, then why not?!?! If the negatives outweigh the positives by the slightest, then seek professional help. Why are you in a relationship that is negative? If it's the grey area, run like the wind.

The above paragraph is completely my view. I would talk to married people and get there input. It's best to understand both sides of the issue. I would also talk to divorced people and get their input, they been through hell and back, so that would be good information to analyze as well. Also pray and seek God.

You can use this line if it helps when talking to married people...."I don't tell you to get divorced, don't tell me to get married". It sort of ends the grief at that point. Also, misery likes company. I'm probably the worst person to give an opinion on marriage.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,589
7,006
113
64
Florida
#10
I think that if I had to choose I would have women as friends and remain single but I still wonder if that’s really Gods will for me...I’m not sure as of yet...
Speaking as a guy, if I were single I would find it difficult to have any women as just friends. Of course, once married, in most instances it would be inappropriate to have women as friends too.
 

danja

Senior Member
Nov 28, 2014
1,751
1,371
113
#11
This is encouraging
Psalm 37:4
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
22,628
2,411
113
#12
Unlike those who make threads like these in sadness or desperation at the thought of “never meeting the one,” I’m genuinely interested what your opinions are about the notion of not being married ever. Men and women.

I feel like the notion of “old maid” and “grumpy old man who has no one” are kind of a long held but not necessarily true stereotype. I’ve had family members that gladly gave up the idea of marriage in order to take care of family and had very full lives. There are also missionaries I’m sure that never got married, and had thousands of children that they worked with and saw grew up.

What do you all think?
I am the grumpy old man who has no one. Thank you for mentioning me. :p
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
609
183
43
#13
I am the grumpy old man who has no one. Thank you for mentioning me. :p
Less responsibilities right? You could be baby sitting, changing diapers, or paying child support. If that's what you want to do, then get out there and stop being so grumpy.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
3,623
1,445
113
#15
Jesus never had any problems being single...

Its true married people who didnt want to marry tend to be grumpier than those who never married. Ive known divorced and widowed people who give single people who never married a bad rep cos they out grump them all.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
14,683
2,518
113
#16
(Said in my best Yoda voice) True, this is!
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
528
338
63
#17
Marriage will happen, or it will not happen. The important thing is to not make your life wait for it to happen, because if it never happens you will have wasted your whole life.

Life is what you make of it. Life is also, as they say, what happens while you are making other plans. If you don't make anything of your life because you think your life MUST have some element it is missing, your life will be nothing.

What matters is the life that is lived, not whether it is lived with somebody else. It is important to live life as it comes.

Will I be single forever? We'll find out when I die or when I get married. But I'm not putting my life on hold until then.
This kind of strikes me because since I was about 11 or 12 I neglected to do anything that I wanted to do because I wanted to share these things with a wife. Memories alone with the Lord? Why be me when she and I could be we?

That crushing loneliness every time I'd have a birthday or xmas or went to the park or went someplace I wanted to hold someone's hand. It was like that until sometime during my 27th year. So not too long ago. I feel different now...maybe I wasted too much time or Job 13:15 + Psalm 4:3 combined in my heart.

Typing that out brought up a dream I had last night (that I thought I forgot) where someone just laid against me. It just felt "right" I haven't had dreams like that in ages...because I sort of rejected them as fluffy butterfly nonsense. The enemy has plenty of that to put in place and I want NOTHING to do with his alternate. If that means I'm single all my life...aww, but praise anyway.

So yeah, I don't see myself that way all my life but I also can hardly conceptualize being together with someone without total surrender to wherever he leads.

Good topic.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,338
510
113
28
Arizona
#18
This kind of strikes me because since I was about 11 or 12 I neglected to do anything that I wanted to do because I wanted to share these things with a wife. Memories alone with the Lord? Why be me when she and I could be we?

That crushing loneliness every time I'd have a birthday or xmas or went to the park or went someplace I wanted to hold someone's hand. It was like that until sometime during my 27th year. So not too long ago. I feel different now...maybe I wasted too much time or Job 13:15 + Psalm 4:3 combined in my heart.

Typing that out brought up a dream I had last night (that I thought I forgot) where someone just laid against me. It just felt "right" I haven't had dreams like that in ages...because I sort of rejected them as fluffy butterfly nonsense. The enemy has plenty of that to put in place and I want NOTHING to do with his alternate. If that means I'm single all my life...aww, but praise anyway.

So yeah, I don't see myself that way all my life but I also can hardly conceptualize being together with someone without total surrender to wherever he leads.

Good topic.
I know that feeling. Ironically the middle school loneliness I had too. We get a romantic idea of...romance 🤣

And I know there was a verse somewhere that a person who is not married thinks more on how to please the Lord than to make their spouse happy. So like God has positives and negatives for all the states of life He has ya through.

Wow weird copy paste thing earlier too sorry 🤣🤣
 

AuntieAnt

Senior Member
Feb 23, 2016
4,477
1,052
113
#19
I’ve been single since my husband passed away in 2005. I’ve learned to be happy and content being single, and I’m sure it helps that I have lovely family around me. Praise God for them!! :love:(y)

Still, I find lately that I’m thinking I don’t want to grow old alone, without a loving companion to share life's ups & downs with, ya know? And of course, God will have to provide that man because I’m not exactly everybody’s cup of tea. I’m a bit ditzy with a heap of eccentricity thrown in. :oops: But I’m fun. Lol At least God thinks I’m a wonderful gal. :D
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
3,623
1,445
113
#20
The hand holding, I dont get. Why do you need to hold someones hand?
Couldnt you just ask your parents or brotheror sister to hold your hands. When you grow up, you dont really need to hold someones elses hand...!

Personally I would be worried if someone wanted to hold my hand all the time. The last time someone did that, they stole money from me.