Over 40 Never Married

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C

CeeCee

Guest
#1
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes,I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
33,808
11,521
113
66
Tennessee
#2
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes, I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
My sister is 58, has an 15 year old son and has never married. Like yourself, the father of her child is also abusive and narcissistic. You are not alone in this type of situation and no, there is nothing at all wrong with you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
914
618
93
#3
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes,I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
You are not alone. There are many single parents (especially single mothers) with children who originally had live-in partners but never married. What is more rare are older singles with no children, but there is nothing anyone can do about that either if they never met the right person.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,343
1,406
113
#4
Is there any one out there like me? I am 50 never married. I have two grown children but did not marry their father ( he was abusive and narcissistic). Sometimes,I think it is weird but I am getting very used to it. I know in some countries no one cares but in America it is a big deal. Like something is wrong with you! LOL 😂
How are you feeling about it?
I don’t worry about it. I worship Him while I wait and trust Gods will and timing is being done. The right person will appear at the right time.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
10,020
3,643
113
#5
same but no children, although I feel like I got heaps of children at school.
I think some people may think I am weird, but It doesnt bother me. There are lots of people who dont get married. some with children and some not.

regarding abusive and narcissitic partners, I think its best not to marry anyone with those traits! Those poor people who do marry such go through hell on earth! Sadly it seems to be very common.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
10,020
3,643
113
#6
actually i am still 40 but I feel like im 39 as birthday was in lockdown and could not really celebrate it with everyone.
however...OP you said you are 50, which is a big deal birthday number so happy birthday. :)
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#7
My sister is 58, has an 15 year old son and has never married. Like yourself, the father of her child is also abusive and narcissistic. You are not alone in this type of situation and no, there is nothing at all wrong with you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
Thank you 😊! So glad to be here
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#8
You are not alone. There are many single parents (especially single mothers) with children who originally had live-in partners but never married. What is more rare are older singles with no children, but there is nothing anyone can do about that either if they never met the right person.
Thank you 😊! So glad to be here
same but no children, although I feel like I got heaps of children at school.
I think some people may think I am weird, but It doesnt bother me. There are lots of people who dont get married. some with children and some not.

regarding abusive and narcissitic partners, I think its best not to marry anyone with those traits! Those poor people who do marry such go through hell on earth! Sadly it seems to be very common.
I agree, I think it’s crazy to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. Because it never works out in the end 😕
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#9
I don’t worry about it. I worship Him while I wait and trust Gods will and timing is being done. The right person will appear at the right time.
Amen brother Mike! 🙏🏾
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#10
actually i am still 40 but I feel like im 39 as birthday was in lockdown and could not really celebrate it with everyone.
however...OP you said you are 50, which is a big deal birthday number so happy birthday. :)
Your so cute! Thank you an happy birthday to you too 😀
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#11
actually i am still 40 but I feel like im 39 as birthday was in lockdown and could not really celebrate it with everyone.
however...OP you said you are 50, which is a big deal birthday number so happy birthday. :)
Your so cute! Happy birthday to you too! 😀
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,400
1,976
113
#12
45, never married, no kids. And not for a lack of desire. I am dating someone now.
My cousin was 60 before he had his first marriage and child (a little over a year ago).
I'm not around many people but no one makes a big deal out of it. And even when I was around more people, it was pretty rare anyone made much of a fuss about it at all. So I don't think its an 'America' thing so much as it is the people around you.
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#13
45, never married, no kids. And not for a lack of desire. I am dating someone now.
My cousin was 60 before he had his first marriage and child (a little over a year ago).
I'm not around many people but no one makes a big deal out of it. And even when I was around more people, it was pretty rare anyone made much of a fuss about it at all. So I don't think its an 'America' thing so much as it is the people around you.
Yeah it is an American thing....definitely. They trade relationships like they change underwear! LOL 😂
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,400
1,976
113
#15
Yeah it is an American thing....definitely. They trade relationships like they change underwear! LOL 😂
Huh. All i ever got was an occasional 'why aren't you married?' and upon answering them, that was usually the end of the conversation.
I think it depends more on the type of people around you since i never had any real problems with this issue. Some are very into marriage and nearly make getting married into a religion, others don't feel a need to put such demands on others. Otherwise I'd have chewed out a lot more people 😇
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,581
1,664
113
#16
Well both my aunts were over 40 when they first married and had / have no kids of their own (one aunt did marry a man with kids from a previous marriage). I'm not exactly working hard to carry on that family tradition because as Lynx says, single and childless is literally the default option, it doesn't take any work to be single.

What I can say is that while you may be thought a little odd if you are an American adult not currently in or seeking a relationship, it's nothing compared to many more traditional or communal cultures in the world where if you're a woman pushing 30 and not married yet everyone thinks the only thing you should be thinking about is finding someone to marry before it's "too late". And I think I'll take another moment to be grateful that I'm a western woman in modern times who is free not to marry and so free to wait and choose an objectively good rather than just best I think I can hope to get partner in life.
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#18
Huh. All i ever got was an occasional 'why aren't you married?' and upon answering them, that was usually the end of the conversation.
I think it depends more on the type of people around you since i never had any real problems with this issue. Some are very into marriage and nearly make getting married into a religion, others don't feel a need to put such demands on others. Otherwise I'd have chewed out a lot more people 😇
Oh no don’t chew them out!:ROFL:
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#19
Well both my aunts were over 40 when they first married and had / have no kids of their own (one aunt did marry a man with kids from a previous marriage). I'm not exactly working hard to carry on that family tradition because as Lynx says, single and childless is literally the default option, it doesn't take any work to be single.

What I can say is that while you may be thought a little odd if you are an American adult not currently in or seeking a relationship, it's nothing compared to many more traditional or communal cultures in the world where if you're a woman pushing 30 and not married yet everyone thinks the only thing you should be thinking about is finding someone to marry before it's "too late". And I think I'll take another moment to be grateful that I'm a western woman in modern times who is free not to marry and so free to wait and choose an objectively good rather than just best I think I can hope to get partner in life.
I agree, I am thankful that I don’t have to be traded off for a cow or something. I was hoping for a little bit more perhaps an elephant ? 😂 jkg
 
C

CeeCee

Guest
#20
My sister is 58, has an 15 year old son and has never married. Like yourself, the father of her child is also abusive and narcissistic. You are not alone in this type of situation and no, there is nothing at all wrong with you. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
Thank you tourist you’re very sweet. I appreciate your kind words :giggle: