Please pray. I love my life! Yet struggling with singleness although it is getting better

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Mayflowe

Junior Member
Oct 6, 2016
68
29
18
#1
I love my life and what God has done and is doing for me. I am preparing to serve Him full time in non-pastoral ministry. God is the best. He is is everything I need. I know and believe this and He has brought everything together for me so far.

I just get a little sad when I see couples and children sometimes. I would like to cuddle one of them. I like children and have been told that I am very nurturing. Children's ministry was the first one I joined when I got baptised in the late 90s because I love them. If I do not avert my eyes, I regularly see people walking with their children and I feel sad in an almost tangible way. It does not go away, I just become distracted... until it resurfaces again. I also feel that it might be too late for me now as younger women seem to be preferred. Then I go back to my beautiful studies and work, the family relationships and friendships I enjoy, the ministry-related projects and I am fine (perhaps even for quite a while) until I realise that nothing has changed and the pain resurfaces again. I feel like I might drown but maybe I should let the emotion come and just mourn (present? general? singleness) so that feeling is processed and alleviated or maybe the situation will change?? I am praying today but I don't want to pray presumptuously for a mate if it wont happen, nor without faith if it will. I believe that God can change my situation or my feelings if/when He wants to. I talk to Him but I find that it does not always help to mention it to other people.... Perhaps I need to focus on praying for God to reveal His will clearly to me so that I can move on with my life freely. Please pray, fellow singles, because it something which jars my heart from time to time.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
42. Never been married. Don't know if I'll ever have the chance. It just works that way for some people.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#3
I love my life and what God has done and is doing for me. I am preparing to serve Him full time in non-pastoral ministry. God is the best. He is is everything I need. I know and believe this and He has brought everything together for me so far.

I just get a little sad when I see couples and children sometimes. I would like to cuddle one of them. I like children and have been told that I am very nurturing. Children's ministry was the first one I joined when I got baptised in the late 90s because I love them. If I do not avert my eyes, I regularly see people walking with their children and I feel sad in an almost tangible way. It does not go away, I just become distracted... until it resurfaces again. I also feel that it might be too late for me now as younger women seem to be preferred. Then I go back to my beautiful studies and work, the family relationships and friendships I enjoy, the ministry-related projects and I am fine (perhaps even for quite a while) until I realise that nothing has changed and the pain resurfaces again. I feel like I might drown but maybe I should let the emotion come and just mourn (present? general? singleness) so that feeling is processed and alleviated or maybe the situation will change?? I am praying today but I don't want to pray presumptuously for a mate if it wont happen, nor without faith if it will. I believe that God can change my situation or my feelings if/when He wants to. I talk to Him but I find that it does not always help to mention it to other people.... Perhaps I need to focus on praying for God to reveal His will clearly to me so that I can move on with my life freely. Please pray, fellow singles, because it something which jars my heart from time to time.
This is a great, heartfelt post, and it echoed my own emotions in a lot of ways. You're definitely not alone in this struggle.

At church, I am the unofficial head nanny, and I love spending time with the kids just as much as they love playing with me. As we got more children into the church (we went from zero to a small horde in about a year), I thought some of my ache for a family of my own would go away. I think it just increased it. Every week I see young couples interacting together and with their children; I get to teach, pray for, and cuddle little ones. It's a beautiful experience. Something I wouldn't give up for worlds, yet...I come home from church absolutely exhausted and emotionally drained. Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep on Sunday nights from sheer emotional pain so tangible it feels like a presence. I want to be married! I want to have a family! And I'm not, and I don't.

This is not my normal state of mind. Like you said, life is very sweet. God is good and He is able to sustain. He will never leave or forsake his own. Recently, with my older sister reaching forty and no prospect of marriage (even though she's had the desire to raise a family and has been praying about it since she was a young teenager), I have finally come to grips with the fact that I may never marry. I have accepted that and am at least cognizantly ok with it. I am living the single life and enjoying it! My emotions, on the other hand, are still a work in progress, and the discontent often resurfaces if I let my guard down.

When I came to grips with the fact that I might never marry, I felt I was finally able to truly pray that God's will would be done. That's not to say that I don't remind God of my desire to be married, or share with him my struggles with contentment, but I'm finally OK with him being in control. That, in my life, was HUGE!

I don't think there is anything wrong with having intense desires for something in life. It becomes wrong when you want it above God's will, with an idolatrous passion, or with feelings of envy towards your neighbor or discontent with your own lot.

I will be praying for you, dear sister! God has a perfect plan for your life--your singleness, your possible marriage, even the desires and pain you are going through now. They're all part of his plan, and nothing can happen outside of it.

Ok well...long post and I get to the end of it and realize I didn't even answer your questions or give any advice! Sorry about that!
 

Born_Again

Senior Member
Nov 15, 2014
1,572
117
63
#4
I think as we get more into the last days, true Christian partners are going to be harder to find. The wheat will be separated from the chaff as persecution continues. The wolves will be revealed for what they are.

Keep praying for God's will to be done and it may very well include a partner, but continue to seek God as well and run the race!!
 

EJS1023

Junior Member
Aug 31, 2017
37
11
8
#5
Don't give up on God's answering your prayer(s) He loves you too much; IMO He has put it in your heart for a mate. Mayflower, Jesus commanded us to bless the little child, I have come to realize that people who obey this command usually have such inner (spiritual) beauty that it even transfer into making them more physically beautiful and even younger looking.

I like the following verse for times like you mention:
"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick, but when the desire cometh,
it is a tree of life."
Proverbs 13:12

It will be difficult but when thee moments come try to remember God knows your pain and delights in your faithfulness and has a wonderful answer for your desire that like Jesus it can be your own tree of life.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
#6
You are not alone. God is good. God is love. Remember those two things when you are in despair. I will pray for you.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
840
113
19
#7
Idk what to say tbh but I'll pray for you the others have a lot more wise things to share I'm sorry. I do get what you feel though and I don't know anyone who's been married for much time at all, i have ten siblings and only one of them share the same dad with me so i constantly have to remind myself it mught never happen. I can't lie though i wanna get married I was just telling my sister's how I'm gonna have like a trillion kids even though they stress you out you just seem to care so much about them it's crazy what I'd do for my nieces and nephews and i really want my own kids but i have to remind myself that that isn't guaranteed. I think im more scared of divorce though i just don't want to walk into anything i know will end because someone is just being childish, it hurts more too. But i can still work to be more like Jesus and be a better brother and uncle, and if God wills it I'll get a wife and kids and it'll be totally cool but if not I'll just be alone and it'll still be cool it won't end the world, but those feelings always come every now and then. Ugh whatevs I'm done now God bless
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
840
113
19
#8
This is a great, heartfelt post, and it echoed my own emotions in a lot of ways. You're definitely not alone in this struggle.

At church, I am the unofficial head nanny, and I love spending time with the kids just as much as they love playing with me. As we got more children into the church (we went from zero to a small horde in about a year), I thought some of my ache for a family of my own would go away. I think it just increased it. Every week I see young couples interacting together and with their children; I get to teach, pray for, and cuddle little ones. It's a beautiful experience. Something I wouldn't give up for worlds, yet...I come home from church absolutely exhausted and emotionally drained. Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep on Sunday nights from sheer emotional pain so tangible it feels like a presence. I want to be married! I want to have a family! And I'm not, and I don't.

This is not my normal state of mind. Like you said, life is very sweet. God is good and He is able to sustain. He will never leave or forsake his own. Recently, with my older sister reaching forty and no prospect of marriage (even though she's had the desire to raise a family and has been praying about it since she was a young teenager), I have finally come to grips with the fact that I may never marry. I have accepted that and am at least cognizantly ok with it. I am living the single life and enjoying it! My emotions, on the other hand, are still a work in progress, and the discontent often resurfaces if I let my guard down.

When I came to grips with the fact that I might never marry, I felt I was finally able to truly pray that God's will would be done. That's not to say that I don't remind God of my desire to be married, or share with him my struggles with contentment, but I'm finally OK with him being in control. That, in my life, was HUGE!

I don't think there is anything wrong with having intense desires for something in life. It becomes wrong when you want it above God's will, with an idolatrous passion, or with feelings of envy towards your neighbor or discontent with your own lot.

I will be praying for you, dear sister! God has a perfect plan for your life--your singleness, your possible marriage, even the desires and pain you are going through now. They're all part of his plan, and nothing can happen outside of it.

Ok well...long post and I get to the end of it and realize I didn't even answer your questions or give any advice! Sorry about that!
I'll be praying for you too miss I'm sorry you go through that but it's good to see you're content. If it helps at all God's done a good work in you miss.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#9
I'll be praying for you too miss I'm sorry you go through that but it's good to see you're content. If it helps at all God's done a good work in you miss.
Thank you. Prayers are always appreciated! (Attaboy, "miss"! ;)).
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
#10
Idk what to say tbh but I'll pray for you the others have a lot more wise things to share I'm sorry. I do get what you feel though and I don't know anyone who's been married for much time at all, i have ten siblings and only one of them share the same dad with me so i constantly have to remind myself it mught never happen. I can't lie though i wanna get married I was just telling my sister's how I'm gonna have like a trillion kids even though they stress you out you just seem to care so much about them it's crazy what I'd do for my nieces and nephews and i really want my own kids but i have to remind myself that that isn't guaranteed. I think im more scared of divorce though i just don't want to walk into anything i know will end because someone is just being childish, it hurts more too. But i can still work to be more like Jesus and be a better brother and uncle, and if God wills it I'll get a wife and kids and it'll be totally cool but if not I'll just be alone and it'll still be cool it won't end the world, but those feelings always come every now and then. Ugh whatevs I'm done now God bless
Please do not breed until your command on the written language is better.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
840
113
19
#11
Please do not breed until your command on the written language is better.
Lol well thanks for that cx. In my defence it was like 4:00am and i was trying to keep an eye on the baby but it's whatever......*cries internally*
 
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LaVieEnRose

Guest
#12
Lol well thanks for that cx. In my defence it was like 4:00am and i was trying to keep an eye on the baby but it's whatever......*cries internally*
If you were keeping an eye on the baby, you should not have been online. It bodes very ill for your projected trillion children.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
840
113
19
#13
If you were keeping an eye on the baby, you should not have been online. It bodes very ill for your projected trillion children.
He was asleep next to me but i appreciate your concern. He woke up a little bit after though so i couldn't get to sleep right away. I'm sure you're very responsible but thankfully I've learned a lot about taking care of Children, not that I can't always learn more.
 
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LaVieEnRose

Guest
#14
He was asleep next to me but i appreciate your concern. He woke up a little bit after though so i couldn't get to sleep right away. I'm sure you're very responsible but thankfully I've learned a lot about taking care of Children, not that I can't always learn more.
I don’t think you should be sleeping in the same bed with a baby, you could smother him. My opinion, only, of course. Many people advocate family beds.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#15
Oooh, what goes on HERE? This looks interesting...
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
840
113
19
#16
Oooh, what goes on HERE? This looks interesting...
Oh yeah? How is that? I actually remember saying something else but ig i forgot to actually post it oh well lol.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#17
Oh yeah? How is that? I actually remember saying something else but ig i forgot to actually post it oh well lol.
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I have already had enough amusement and distress alternately by observing my friends in a battle of opposite views...I feel like this always happens to me.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
840
113
19
#18
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I have already had enough amusement and distress alternately by observing my friends in a battle of opposite views...I feel like this always happens to me.
Well sometimes people disagree ig but we were totally respectful to each other and as far as I'm concerned she's (?) Totally cool. Don't start freaking out or anything you'll have people all worried again cx. Don't stress miss you're young and stuff just like eat chocolate ( ew) and be happy or something idk.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#19
Well sometimes people disagree ig but we were totally respectful to each other and as far as I'm concerned she's (?) Totally cool. Don't start freaking out or anything you'll have people all worried again cx. Don't stress miss you're young and stuff just like eat chocolate ( ew) and be happy or something idk.
It's true. Which is why it caused more amusement than distress in this particular case. (What is this nay saying against chocolate??)
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,152
840
113
19
#20
It's true. Which is why it caused more amusement than distress in this particular case. (What is this nay saying against chocolate??)
Yayyyy. Chocolate isn't that dope and you said you prefer chocolate ice cream over vanilla!? Like no....just no