POLL: Not thinking before you speak vs. Thinking too much before you speak

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Are you a 'blurter' or a 'thinker'?

  • I always just blurt out whatever I'm thinking

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I do more blurting than thinking.

    Votes: 7 26.9%
  • I do more thinking than blurting.

    Votes: 12 46.2%
  • I always catch myself thinking carefully before I speak.

    Votes: 3 11.5%
  • Other (explain below)

    Votes: 4 15.4%

  • Total voters
    26
Aug 2, 2009
20,932
992
113
#1
Please wait for the poll. ;)

This has nothing to do with saying dumb things (not thinking before you speak).

Instead, its about how much people actually stop and think before saying things in normal, casual, everyday conversation. I personally am guilty of thinking way too much even in casual conversation so I end up either falling behind (not keeping up with the subject matter) or not saying much of anything (usually both) even though my mind is considering all this stuff that I want to say. Its almost like being a prisoner in my own mind. To others it might look like I am just mentally slow, but I'm actually carefully considering all my possible responses for efficacy, accuracy and relativeness. Why do I do this? I'm not sure but I think its probably because of some bad experiences I had when i was a kid.

Anyway, do you usually just blurt out whatever comes to mind or do you find yourself always mulling over your thoughts before speaking?
 

StephenH

Senior Member
Oct 12, 2012
519
5
0
#2
I guess my problem is probably thinking too much before I speak. I'm not even close to as bad at it online as I am in person. In person, it seems that I have to think everything I'm going to say five times in my head before I can convince myself to finally say it. I guess it also depends on how much I trust the group of people I'm with or the person I'm talking to if it's an individual.

I'm definitely in your shoes with this, I'm sure many people think I'm mentally slow, only the one or two people that I can easily talk to in real life as I trust them know that I'm not by any means mentally slow.

I guess for me, it's because I never had anyone to confide in as a child or growing up, so I pretty much isolated myself online all of the time, and didn't go out and do things that normal ordinary children would do, so that shyness and awkwardness in social situations has stayed with me to this day, however I'm working on it.

We're all a work in progress.
 
W

Wood-Note

Guest
#3
Stephen hit it on the head for me, I am just about the same. I was usually by myself on matters as a child and so it was just my thoughts and I. Now I tend to over think what I say and do in most if not all situations. I've gotten better about it, I used to play a situation in my head nearly twenty or thirty times before actually doing it. Online I will write a thought out two or three times before saying it in the way I want it to be presented...such as this post...
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
64
48
#4
Its strange because I don't usually say anything in person.

I feel like conversations are a lot like kids playing jumprope.



Before I can feel confident about saying anything or adding anything, I have to have a feel for the Rhythm and Subject of the Conversation.


Like if I was around my extended family and they were talking about the Validity of Moon Landing or how Ancient Israelites built Boats and sailed to America, I would also need to take into consideration who I might offend or whether or not I will even be understood. So its best not to say anything but just nod and smile. Frankly I feel the same way about most conversations.

I mean, go into the Lounge. If that one guy (who will not be named) starts talking about movies. Or they start talking about Sports, or Politics, I have not much to say.

So in general I have not much to say. Unless someone pulls my string.
 

Jullianna

Senior Member
Apr 21, 2010
12,810
117
0
#5
I don't speak much at all. I'm far more comfortable typing/writing than speaking. In groups I like to listen for a while. Take it all in. Mull it over. See points from different perspectives.

Now and again certain topics will pique my interest (scripture, dance, music, :eek: Peyton Manning :p) and I may have a great deal to say about it. It surprises people when that happens.
 

NukePooch

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2013
1,103
13
0
#6
I'm usually a clam until I get to know people very well, then it's blurts away. I do more than enough thinking to shape my blurts for maximum sarcastic effect. So, if you just met me, you'd think I was too quiet...then once you get to know me, you wish I'd be quiet.
 

kayem77

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2011
2,380
42
0
#7
I do more thinking than blurting.

If I'm with a group of people and I don't know a thing about the topic they're talking about or I'm just not interested, I don't talk .If I'm interested in the topic or it's something I can understand, I can talk a lot. Now, there are things I don't say in groups and I think a lot before sharing even to my closest friends, and there are tons of things that remain in my head and I never share.
 

Powemm

Senior Member
Jul 30, 2012
3,910
31
0
#8
I am absolutely silent in situations, until I observe and look at who and what is on the playground ...ya I'm pretty much the one not dive bombing into pools without sticking my toes first in the water to check the temperature ... I've been cacooned up with God for the last year... and I'm sure in here I'm swinging all sorts of ways on the pendulum... However God will balance all of this out .... like Stephen said " we are all a good work in progress" I apologize ahead of time if any of my posts are far to the right or far to the left ... It is definitely a beautiful swing , however can come crashing on to people ...everyone has been so nice and patient about it ...I think everyone here has said some really good and informative things ... its definitely a balance of to
Much or to little and discovering what God says Is just right ...
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
69
0
28
#9
It depends on who I'm with and what the topic is about, but I'm a big thinker. That makes me pretty quiet during a lot of conversations, especially with people I don't know. Partly due to being a bit shy, partly due to the fact that I'm thinking. I tend to be pretty silent during Bible studies because I contemplate everything, and then sometimes I'll ask a pretty deep/intense question and it throws everyone off!

It's especially great when people point it out: "Rachel, are you always this quiet?" Then everyone turns to look at me as I fumble for an answer. "Aw, Rachel, you're blushing!" Really? I had no idea that being called out on my quietness and having everyone turn to look at me would embarrass me. Thanks for letting me know how red my face is, though, I had no idea! :rolleyes:

Those are just people who don't know me, though. My friends would not usually say that I'm real quiet. ;)
 
G

Gaming_Drummer

Guest
#10
I'd say I definitely don't think enough before I speak as opposed to the opposite scenario. However, I tend to be quite the analytical person at times. This also gets me into trouble, mostly because it causes me to worry about things I shouldn't.
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,912
621
113
#11
Hi Zero,

Great thread. Wow, it looks like we have an awesome group of listeners here and I could definitely take lessons from you all.

My problem is, I'm kind of a "bi-polar" communicator. People usually lump me into the "listener only" bracket so I wind up listening to people indefinitely, which is great... And then, every now and then (like every 1 out of 1,000 times), someone actually asks me a question about me or what I think... and it's all over.

I jump at the opportunity to express myself and let it all come pouring out... good and bad... grammatically or politically correct... or NOT.

And unfortunately... this goes for both my speaking AND my writing!! :) I want to be more like all of you and think a little more carefully before I blabber or type... (Though if I feel very strongly about something or if it's in defense of another person, I obviously don't wait to be asked first.)
 

Buff_Old_Guy

Senior Member
Dec 7, 2012
155
1
0
#12
I think... literally all day, on everything. I also like keeping things a secret sometimes. People who tend to blurt out before thinking can get on my nerves. Usually, they tend to say something offensive and thank God I'm Christian. There's been times in my life where I wanted to beat up some people but... literally thanks to God, I didn't. God wants us to be patient and be in control of our emotions. Also, I have to remember that there's a lot of extroverted people out there and that's part of their "nature".
 

my_adonai_

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2012
818
20
0
26
#13
I listen before i speak, check out if i have peace or joy in every word that i speak to someone..

Not the best in this field though :p
 

my_adonai_

Senior Member
Mar 19, 2012
818
20
0
26
#14
and most of the times, whatever is in my heart THAT i will share.
 

jeremyPJ

Senior Member
Nov 2, 2013
724
9
0
#15
It's hard in this world to get anyone's attention if you don't just "blurt out', it seems the first one heard gets the conversation, or approval, or whatever. Just my learned opinion, but I personally think one should take care before speaking.
 

colalella2891

Senior Member
May 19, 2013
465
6
0
#16
I have problems with both... Sometimes I say something that I regret saying, while other times I don't say anything because i'm thinking too much about what I should say...

So irritating... I have yet to find that balance.
 

GreenNnice

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
9,171
58
0
#17
Ima blurter (choice two) and I defer all blame to my green brains :D

 

leelee

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
4
0
29
#18
I try not to blurt but it really depends on the situation. I put other.
 

Tintin

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2013
20,301
288
0
35
#19
I sometimes blurt out more than I think things through. That's not to say I don't think deeply about conversations I have. I do, just not always.
 
Last edited:

Tintin

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2013
20,301
288
0
35
#20
On the other hand, if people are having a conversation and I have nothing to contribute (I know nothing about the subject and/or find it boring) I won't contribute but most of the time I say something, even if it's just a little.