Quick fun question/poll for all please

[chickwithsticks]

I have been struggling with this question for years and as it happened again today I thought I would ask the group as I don't want to be someone that makes someone uncomfortable. I think I am quite funny but I figured maybe some of you would care to weigh in.

I am am one of those generally happy, smile at people, throw out a spontaneous joke as appropriate person. I do this with everyone regardless of age, gender, or race. I usually say hello or make a joke with at least 2-3 people in one grocery trip. How can you pass up a joke as you turn a corner and your in a game of chicken with another cart? You can't.

So where's my question? Do men automatically assume a woman is flirting with them if she makes small talk or cracks a joke. Today's scenario: A man is standing in front of the triscuits with his back to me and a young child in the cart. I am waiting patiently and he half turns around and says "I'm sorry" (assuming because I'm waiting) so I say "no worries take your time." He thinks for a quick moment and grabs a box and mutters thanks as he is leaving..I say it's all good but you picked the wrong one (he really did) you should have picked the balsamic vinegar they are the best! He looks at me and says "my wife likes these." I make a joke about how he has no choice then and he grabs the balsamic vinegar to give it a try. My point.....I always wonder did he think I was flirting with him which is why he brought up his wife? Obviously this is One example but as a general rule?

I only ask ask because every time this scenario happens I think I should stop joking with men and stick to women and elderly as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Do do other women experience this? Do men assume flirting or take banter and a quick joke for what it is?

 

[BruceWayne]

I'm kind of the same, I joke with everyone lol. But, personally, I've never thought that anyone was flirting from just a quick exchange .

 

[zeroturbulence]

Anything past hi or hello can be considered flirting. This is why I just use sign language.

 

[jsr1221]

It depends on the individual. I'll give you my experience... When I was younger, women wanted nothing to do with me. (still don't since I'm single ... Okay bad joke.) But not one would even say hi to me. It had to do with a whole lot of issues I didn't know about til later on in life.. Point in all this is, those that may not have any interaction with women whatsoever, some may feel they are flirting even if being nice. Those that are outgoing and extrovert type personalities, tend to think it's just being nice and striking up a conversation. It all depends on the individual, but usually the "loners" tend to think it's flirting and the extroverts tend to view it as just being nice.

 

[chickwithsticks]

I'm kind of the same, I joke with everyone lol. But, personally, I've never thought that anyone was flirting from just a quick exchange .

Thanks Batman ..achemmm I mean Bruce I was hoping for that answer. I agree quick interchange is key...its not like Im stalking anyone with my cart! LOL

 

[chickwithsticks]

It depends on the individual. I'll give you my experience... When I was younger, women wanted nothing to do with me. (still don't since I'm single ... Okay bad joke.) But not one would even say hi to me. It had to do with a whole lot of issues I didn't know about til later on in life.. Point in all this is, those that may not have any interaction with women whatsoever, some may feel they are flirting even if being nice. Those that are outgoing and extrovert type personalities, tend to think it's just being nice and striking up a conversation. It all depends on the individual, but usually the "loners" tend to think it's flirting and the extroverts tend to view it as just being nice.

Wow thanks...I had never thought of that before. Interesting indeed.

 

[Olerica]

I don't know. I sometimes think it's flirting and sometimes not. It's cool if this guy brought up his wife... so that if you WERE flirting, he was giving you a gracious out... and if you weren't flirting, it explains why he chose not-your-favorite cracker. Though that he picked up a second box which was your favorite? I think he thought you were flirting.

Or, that's my read, anyway.

 

[chickwithsticks]

I don't know. I sometimes think it's flirting and sometimes not. It's cool if this guy brought up his wife... so that if you WERE flirting, he was giving you a gracious out... and if you weren't flirting, it explains why he chose not-your-favorite cracker. Though that he picked up a second box which was your favorite? I think he thought you were flirting.

Or, that's my read, anyway.

Absolutely agree it is very cool he brought up his wife but if he did it because he thought I was flirting and not just because of conversational context that was my concern. It is starting to sound like it is a bit risky though and can be easily misinterpreted.

Thanks for the insight.

 

[JonahLynx]

It all depends on the individual, but usually the "loners" tend to think it's flirting and the extroverts tend to view it as just being nice.

Exactly this.

 

[Galahad]

I have been struggling with this question for years and as it happened again today I thought I would ask the group as I don't want to be someone that makes someone uncomfortable. I think I am quite funny but I figured maybe some of you would care to weigh in.

I am am one of those generally happy, smile at people, throw out a spontaneous joke as appropriate person. I do this with everyone regardless of age, gender, or race. I usually say hello or make a joke with at least 2-3 people in one grocery trip. How can you pass up a joke as you turn a corner and your in a game of chicken with another cart? You can't.

So where's my question? Do men automatically assume a woman is flirting with them if she makes small talk or cracks a joke. Today's scenario: A man is standing in front of the triscuits with his back to me and a young child in the cart. I am waiting patiently and he half turns around and says "I'm sorry" (assuming because I'm waiting) so I say "no worries take your time." He thinks for a quick moment and grabs a box and mutters thanks as he is leaving..I say it's all good but you picked the wrong one (he really did) you should have picked the balsamic vinegar they are the best! He looks at me and says "my wife likes these." I make a joke about how he has no choice then and he grabs the balsamic vinegar to give it a try. My point.....I always wonder did he think I was flirting with him which is why he brought up his wife? Obviously this is One example but as a general rule?

I only ask ask because every time this scenario happens I think I should stop joking with men and stick to women and elderly as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Do do other women experience this? Do men assume flirting or take banter and a quick joke for what it is?

I'll ask my wife.
My wife says it all depends on your tone of voice, your body language, and how you are dressed.
So, If you are wearing a dress that shows no back, no cleavage, no upper legs, and you don't brush your hair back while you tell the joke, you're safe. I think.

Seriously now. I am the same way. When a man says "my wife" to you, he is not saying he don't like the joking, but just really respects the boundaries.

Keep telling jokes. I'm sure many men have laughed at your jokes.

I tell jokes to strangers all the time. Happy go lucky people are the best. World is too full of grumps, doomsday folks, complainers, rude, spit in public, litter bugs, PC, the sky is falling, whiners, and pessimists.

Good question.

 

[Galahad]

I have been struggling with this question for years and as it happened again today I thought I would ask the group as I don't want to be someone that makes someone uncomfortable. I think I am quite funny but I figured maybe some of you would care to weigh in.

I am am one of those generally happy, smile at people, throw out a spontaneous joke as appropriate person. I do this with everyone regardless of age, gender, or race. I usually say hello or make a joke with at least 2-3 people in one grocery trip. How can you pass up a joke as you turn a corner and your in a game of chicken with another cart? You can't.

So where's my question? Do men automatically assume a woman is flirting with them if she makes small talk or cracks a joke. Today's scenario: A man is standing in front of the triscuits with his back to me and a young child in the cart. I am waiting patiently and he half turns around and says "I'm sorry" (assuming because I'm waiting) so I say "no worries take your time." He thinks for a quick moment and grabs a box and mutters thanks as he is leaving..I say it's all good but you picked the wrong one (he really did) you should have picked the balsamic vinegar they are the best! He looks at me and says "my wife likes these." I make a joke about how he has no choice then and he grabs the balsamic vinegar to give it a try. My point.....I always wonder did he think I was flirting with him which is why he brought up his wife? Obviously this is One example but as a general rule?

I only ask ask because every time this scenario happens I think I should stop joking with men and stick to women and elderly as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Do do other women experience this? Do men assume flirting or take banter and a quick joke for what it is?

I bet you keep folks laughing. All in stitches! HA! HA! Get the point. (THUMBS DOWN)

 

[chickwithsticks]

I'll ask my wife.
My wife says it all depends on your tone of voice, your body language, and how you are dressed.
So, If you are wearing a dress that shows no back, no cleavage, no upper legs, and you don't brush your hair back while you tell the joke, you're safe. I think.

Seriously now. I am the same way. When a man says "my wife" to you, he is not saying he don't like the joking, but just really respects the boundaries.

Keep telling jokes. I'm sure many men have laughed at your jokes.

I tell jokes to strangers all the time. Happy go lucky people are the best. World is too full of grumps, doomsday folks, complainers, rude, spit in public, litter bugs, PC, the sky is falling, whiners, and pessimists.

Good question.

LOL...be sure to tell your wife I am in my mid forties and typically wear yoga pants, a tshirt, hair in ponytail and only wear mascara. I certainly dont fit the profile she gave so maybe Im safe!

I do like your sentiment about grumps. Couldnt agree more. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Bristecom]

I doubt he was thinking that you were flirting with him. But to be brutally honest, he probably felt awkward with you insisting on the other flavor so he just went ahead and did it.

When some girl or lady randomly cracks a joke or comment related to me, I never assume they are flirting. I just figure they are a more friendly and joking kind of person. But there are times when it can just be rude or awkward so you have to be careful. I too have made some comments that weren't received well and I felt stupid about it later.

The only time it would be considered flirting is if you continue to comment or follow the person around or if you are asking more personal information about them. Then I would get a red flag and think, "OK, obviously this girl is trying to get with me."

 

[secularhermit]

"Do men automatically assume a woman is flirting with them if she makes small talk or cracks a joke."

No automatically assumed here!

Allow me to say, respecfully:

Althought I have felt puzzled, several times, when I see they needed to keep certain "flirting" jokes when HONEST men had already said anything like that "I´m married" or, as fast they could, they hid their wedding rings when THEY SAW someone who stopped in front of him to GET HIS MALE attention (that´s not normal at casual meetings on streets).

The best way you would have "to know" that is getting inside an elevator. If you are alone, try to observe how you "normally" behaved when you met a man inside that closed place.

Do you look, deep, at his eyes?

If he already notices you, if he turned his sight another place (to avoid eye contact with yours) do you still saying anything ELSE, after you said the social: "Good morning!".

If you "normally" tend to go beyond the standars -obviously- you feel alone and, in that situation, it´s quite normal to try to establish a communication "line" with those passing by.

Why don´t you try to get FEMALE friends, instead?

If you get a real freind, they probably have SINGLES at hand but, as long as you play that role, they may get you the wrong way, particularly if you are nice looking.

If you were with a child, a little boy -PERHAPS- they won´t think you are "flirting" but, on the contrary, they would liek to play the role of the HUNTER, and you could be their prey.

 

[chickwithsticks]

"Do men automatically assume a woman is flirting with them if she makes small talk or cracks a joke."

No automatically assumed here!

Allow me to say, respecfully:

Althought I have felt puzzled, several times, when I see they needed to keep certain "flirting" jokes when HONEST men had already said anything like that "I´m married" or, as fast they could, they hid their wedding rings when THEY SAW someone who stopped in front of him to GET HIS MALE attention (that´s not normal at casual meetings on streets).

The best way you would have "to know" that is getting inside an elevator. If you are alone, try to observe how you "normally" behaved when you met a man inside that closed place.

Do you look, deep, at his eyes?

If he already notices you, if he turned his sight another place (to avoid eye contact with yours) do you still saying anything ELSE, after you said the social: "Good morning!".

If you "normally" tend to go beyond the standars -obviously- you feel alone and, in that situation, it´s quite normal to try to establish a communication "line" with those passing by.

Why don´t you try to get FEMALE friends, instead?

If you get a real freind, they probably have SINGLES at hand but, as long as you play that role, they may get you the wrong way, particularly if you are nice looking.

If you were with a child, a little boy -PERHAPS- they won´t think you are "flirting" but, on the contrary, they would liek to play the role of the HUNTER, and you could be their prey.

Thanks for responding but I wanted to make sure you understood I joke with both men and women when going about my day as occurrences arise. I am not seeking friendship with anyone just being pleasant.

 

[secularhermit]

I do bet you are as you said but, I beg to be excused at paying attention to the 1st "scenario" I saw and, without reading the 2nd scenario (later one) I just remember one I lived up last year (in a nut shell):

In a meeting she and I were, a nice looking lady started to talk and share ideas with me... My ex-GF watched us, for a while and, the truth is, that young lady was younger and nice looking and, the more I wanted to talk and lagh with that unknown person I was sharing, my ex-GF interrupted us, as it was something important she needed to tell me (pulling me out of that scenario).

-What are you doing, AT? Don´t you see she´s got your attention away from me?...

Her attitude was quite natural, a bit narcissist but, at "conventions", she could be quite right in what she saw.

Now I´m gonna chech what I unadvertedly missed.

 

[CatHerder]

...I am am one of those generally happy, smile at people, throw out a spontaneous joke as appropriate person. I do this with everyone regardless of age, gender, or race. I usually say hello or make a joke with at least 2-3 people in one grocery trip. How can you pass up a joke as you turn a corner and your in a game of chicken with another cart? You can't.

So where's my question? Do men automatically assume a woman is flirting with them if she makes small talk or cracks a joke. Today's scenario: A man is standing in front of the triscuits with his back to me and a young child in the cart. I am waiting patiently and he half turns around and says "I'm sorry" (assuming because I'm waiting) so I say "no worries take your time." He thinks for a quick moment and grabs a box and mutters thanks as he is leaving..I say it's all good but you picked the wrong one (he really did) you should have picked the balsamic vinegar they are the best! He looks at me and says "my wife likes these." I make a joke about how he has no choice then and he grabs the balsamic vinegar to give it a try. My point.....I always wonder did he think I was flirting with him which is why he brought up his wife? Obviously this is One example but as a general rule?...

...Do do other women experience this? Do men assume flirting or take banter and a quick joke for what it is?

On a recent trip to Texas (yes...THAT trip), before I visited with the CC peeps and some other friends who had moved away from this area, I stopped in the grocery store. There in the deli section was a middle aged woman with another gal (I assumed her daughter), who was looking at the selections and asked the attendant (a man about her age) about some greasy thing that had been under the heat lamp for about half the day.

He responded "Those are "flautas."

Her: Ooh! We don't have Fa-loot-ahs in St. Cloud! What's in them?

Him: Spicy chicken.

Her (to me): How wonderful! Have you ever had Fa-loot-ahs before?

Me: **nods**

Her: (to attendant): We don't have fa-loot-ahs in St. Cloud, but I make the best meat loaf. You will have to come on up, sometime!

Him: Next week. Give me your address.



Yes. The above really happened. It started out as friendly banter, then somehow crossed a line into the flirt zone.

So...my point...let's see...was there one?

Oh yeah...being friendly is okay. Just don't invite strange men over and you should be fine.

 

[Willie-T]

I have been struggling with this question for years and as it happened again today I thought I would ask the group as I don't want to be someone that makes someone uncomfortable. I think I am quite funny but I figured maybe some of you would care to weigh in.

I am am one of those generally happy, smile at people, throw out a spontaneous joke as appropriate person. I do this with everyone regardless of age, gender, or race. I usually say hello or make a joke with at least 2-3 people in one grocery trip. How can you pass up a joke as you turn a corner and your in a game of chicken with another cart? You can't.

So where's my question? Do men automatically assume a woman is flirting with them if she makes small talk or cracks a joke. Today's scenario: A man is standing in front of the triscuits with his back to me and a young child in the cart. I am waiting patiently and he half turns around and says "I'm sorry" (assuming because I'm waiting) so I say "no worries take your time." He thinks for a quick moment and grabs a box and mutters thanks as he is leaving..I say it's all good but you picked the wrong one (he really did) you should have picked the balsamic vinegar they are the best! He looks at me and says "my wife likes these." I make a joke about how he has no choice then and he grabs the balsamic vinegar to give it a try. My point.....I always wonder did he think I was flirting with him which is why he brought up his wife? Obviously this is One example but as a general rule?

I only ask ask because every time this scenario happens I think I should stop joking with men and stick to women and elderly as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Do do other women experience this? Do men assume flirting or take banter and a quick joke for what it is?

Uh, elderly males aren't men?

 

[Olerica]

On a recent trip to Texas (yes...THAT trip), before I visited with the CC peeps and some other friends who had moved away from this area, I stopped in the grocery store. There in the deli section was a middle aged woman with another gal (I assumed her daughter), who was looking at the selections and asked the attendant (a man about her age) about some greasy thing that had been under the heat lamp for about half the day.

He responded "Those are "flautas."

Her: Ooh! We don't have Fa-loot-ahs in St. Cloud! What's in them?

Him: Spicy chicken.

Her (to me): How wonderful! Have you ever had Fa-loot-ahs before?

Me: **nods**

Her: (to attendant): We don't have fa-loot-ahs in St. Cloud, but I make the best meat loaf. You will have to come on up, sometime!

Him: Next week. Give me your address.



Yes. The above really happened. It started out as friendly banter, then somehow crossed a line into the flirt zone.

So...my point...let's see...was there one?

Oh yeah...being friendly is okay. Just don't invite strange men over and you should be fine.

ROFL. There is a St Cloud in Minnesota, just the way she says "flauta" fa-looot-ahs has me convinced she's Minnesotan. We invite strangers over for dinner all the time and wouldn't be shocked by an acceptance. It's weird.

We'd be totally shocked if he made a pass while having meatloaf in our homes though. Weird, right??

 

[CatHerder]

Uh, elderly males aren't men?

No. Didn't you know? They become eunichs at 70.