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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
1 Peter 3 New International Version (NIV)

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, [SUP]2 [/SUP]when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. [SUP]3 [/SUP]Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. [SUP]4 [/SUP]Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. [SUP]5 [/SUP]For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, [SUP]6 [/SUP]like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#2
#2
Tintin's humble thread, seeking leadership wisdom, really touched my heart and led me to create a parallel thread.

(I accidentally bumped something while typing the OP, so this is an addendum. :eek:)

We ladies must remember what scripture requires of us in this regard. For me, it has always been the ultimate factor in deciding whether or not I can be someone's wife, no matter how much I may desire to be. If I cannot see (by his actions) a man devoted to prayer, compassion, service, seeking God's will and wisdom, studying the Word, guarding his words carefully, someone who can hang when the going gets tough, I know that, for me, it will be very difficult to respect him at some point. And then I will fail. I will falter in this regard, even if I am doing all of the above myself.

Ladies, this is the danger in becoming involved with the "bad boy". The part-time genie in a bottle expecting Christian. The guy who only reads part of these verses and vehemently demands respect rather than earning it by seeking GOD's will and ways rather than his own, recognizing that if God can use a donkey to impart wisdom to a man, surely He can and DOES use a wife on many occasions. ;) If you cannot respect a man, it is highly unwise to marry him. Both of you will be miserable.

BUT....when you find the man you DO respect in these ways, marry that one. :) Seriously. Marry him. Fast. :)

Love him. Submit to him. Encourage him. Care for him. Spoil him a little bit. :) Choose your words wisely. Cautiously. Respectfully.

Recognize that your man is accountable to God for the decisions he makes for the wife and children entrusted to Him by God. That can't be an easy walk.

I realize that society feeds us a different line, ladies. What we need to understand is that society also feeds us a lot of other lines that run counter to scripture, huh? I know it's not easy. I know this post may enrage some women. I know it can be frustrating. I know it can be downright maddening at times. :) But the payoff is amazing.

It doesn't take a weak man OR woman to exercise humility and do things God's way, it takes one who is incredibly strong.
 
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JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#3
Apr 26, 2012
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
I absolutely agree, Jim. Leadership is tough. :D
 
H

Ho11y

Guest
#5
#5
You're so right, it takes someone very strong to exercise humility and submit to doing things the way God wants them done. Marriage is not for the weak willed.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#6
Oct 11, 2013
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Respect was something that was lacking in my first marriage, which I had no business doing at the age of 17, but my 18 year old husband and I were not the smartest teenagers getting married that young. We grew up and grew apart and he complained that I didn't respect him.

I do very much respect the man I am about to marry and it is the first time in my life I am willing to submit to a man and allow him the leadership roll as I have had to shoulder all the responsibilities of life for the 35 years since my divorce. This man deserves my love, respect and ability to submit to him and I willingly will do it as he loves God and has Him first in his life and I know he loves me very much. I thank God for bringing this man into my life after such a long wait and it will be a joy to respect, love and submit to him and follow the leadership he will provide for our family.
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#7
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
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#7
Jullianna said:
BUT....when you find the man you DO respect in these ways, marry that one. :) Seriously. Marry him. Fast. :)
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Im on it! :D


Seriously, though. This thread is so full of wisdom and very encouraging - as expected from you. Thank you Jullianna <3
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#8
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
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Tennessee
#8
JesusLives said:
Respect was something that was lacking in my first marriage, which I had no business doing at the age of 17, but my 18 year old husband and I were not the smartest teenagers getting married that young. We grew up and grew apart and he complained that I didn't respect him.

I do very much respect the man I am about to marry and it is the first time in my life I am willing to submit to a man and allow him the leadership roll as I have had to shoulder all the responsibilities of life for the 35 years since my divorce. This man deserves my love, respect and ability to submit to him and I willingly will do it as he loves God and has Him first in his life and I know he loves me very much. I thank God for bringing this man into my life after such a long wait and it will be a joy to respect, love and submit to him and follow the leadership he will provide for our family.
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I find you to be very respectful and I thank God also for bringing you into my life. You are not alone anymore as I am by your side. You deserve all the love that God has given me to give to you.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#10
Jun 15, 2014
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#10
JimJimmers said:
One thing also, it should actually make a man feel humble to think of a woman relying on him for leadership. It should make him want to try harder, and make sure his decisions are Godly.
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Jullianna said:
I absolutely agree, Jim. Leadership is tough. :D
Click to expand...

Both of you are right. :)

It is easy to be the 'Dominating, Bible-thumping and finger-pointing husband'. But it takes a lot of courage and strength to earn someone's love and respect.
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#11
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
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#11
I enjoy threads like these to a degree, and see where everyone's coming from. I don't necessarily agree or disagree when it comes to relational roles and everything. I figure we all have our strengths and weaknesses. We all stand and fall before God in becoming who He made us to be, and it's not always the same. In fact, stealing a movie quote, he seems to love variety.

I will say, though, that threads like these, discussions and opinions as such, make me wonder if I could ever be 'good enough' to be in a committed relationship. It also makes me wonder about those who are married or in a relationship, because while I certainly know a few good ones...a lot of these things we discuss do not seem to be 'the norm'. In fact, it's a small minority which come close to living the ideal. So, that said...we're all striving for God and Godliness, but we also all fall short. I can love brokenness, too. God's shown me a lot about that. How you can love people... I've got a long way to go still, but I think maybe we should learn to see and bring out the good in others. It just seems better to me than a merit-based system which categorizes, divides, and isolates. That's just me, though, and a semi-random aside. Sorry if this post was off-base.

Isn't that what the OP scripture is saying, though? To draw your spouse to Christ by your own example of living with/for Him, and the way you love/respect your spouse out of that same love and respect God gives you?
 
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C

Charcoal

Guest
#12
#12
Jullianna said:
It doesn't take a weak man OR woman to exercise humility and do things God's way, it takes one who is incredibly strong.
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EVERYTHING she said was worth quoting, but this tidbit should Never be overlooked or forgotten.

JimJimmers, you failed to include 1 Corinthians 13:7 which in the NIV here speaks of Love with the words, "7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." To me, this verse speaks of the Service Driven Leadership a husband should have for a wife.

As Roh_Chris points (without Bible thumping) out, Respect is Earned. It is not truly respect if it is given out of fear or obligation. Only when it is freely given is it respect, just as only when it is freely give it is love, and only when it is freely give it is sacrifice.
...well, would you look at that...I guess the best things in life are free(ly given).

I did, at one time, think more "modern" thoughts about gender roles. I believed that men and women could be in all ways equals. I even tried to live that in my first marriage... You notice how that worked out. I have since learned, through scripture, through observation, and through people who deliberately live out their lives as Biblical examples of what Jullianna seems to be getting at here. God made us different. God expects us to be different from one another no less than He expects us to be different from the world of unbelievers. Yes, Men & Women have their own strengths and weaknesses and together we can be that three stranded cord, but we also have our own challenges that we alone must rise to - and must rise to with God by our side.

AsifinPassing - I cannot ever earn enough merit badges to promote to the rank of Good Enough... that goes for salvation and that goes for leading my children, or any other relationship. I can, however, submit myself to God. For as our Worthy Lord, Christ is the head of the church, so I, unworthy I, can be head of my household. It is by submission to Christ alone that I have any authority or worth to lead with.

I loved CC and the Iron Men & Iron Women around here. You are the kind of people that can really keep one sharp. :D
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#13
#13
AsifinPassing said:
I enjoy threads like these to a degree, and see where everyone's coming from. I don't necessarily agree or disagree when it comes to relational roles and everything. I figure we all have our strengths and weaknesses. We all stand and fall before God in becoming who He made us to be, and it's not always the same. In fact, stealing a movie quote, he seems to love variety.

I will say, though, that threads like these, discussions and opinions as such, make me wonder if I could ever be 'good enough' to be in a committed relationship. It also makes me wonder about those who are married or in a relationship, because while I certainly know a few good ones...a lot of these things we discuss do not seem to be 'the norm'. In fact, it's a small minority which come close to living the ideal. So, that said...we're all striving for God and Godliness, but we also all fall short. I can love brokenness, too. God's shown me a lot about that. How you can love people... I've got a long way to go still, but I think maybe we should learn to see and bring out the good in others. It just seems better to me than a merit-based system which categorizes, divides, and isolates. That's just me, though, and a semi-random aside. Sorry if this post was off-base.

Isn't that what the OP scripture is saying, though? To draw your spouse to Christ by your own example of living with/for Him, and the way you love/respect your spouse out of that same love and respect God gives you?
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I see your point, Reece. :) Here's the thing though...all a good woman really wants to see is the LOVING EFFORT. :) She knows you will not hit everything you swing at because she can't either. But a loving, godly woman is going to look at your HEART...the desire of a husband's heart that cherishes her and DESIRES to fulfill his role as God has set it out, just as she will (hopefully) be striving to be the woman God has called HER to be. It's a TEAM thing that takes both people to submit, yield and obey what God has set out for them, as well as submitting to one another....putting the needs of others above ourselves, as we are ALL called to do.

I've been watching your heart for a couple of years now, Sir. I think when you find the right lady, you'll be just fine, with God's help. :)
 
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