Recovering Love Addict

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Mar 4, 2011
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#1
Has anyone felt as though life without a partner is meaningless or worthless before and if so how did you overcome it ? How does one know life is worth living regardless of relationship status.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,498
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#2
Life is always worth living regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship but I found that it's a good thing to have a best friend and traveling partner to share the ride with. Being in a loving marriage is definitely not meaningless and can serve a great purpose. There is no need to overcome a basic desire of giving love and recieving love.
 

NoNameMcgee

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
4,618
637
113
#3
Has anyone felt as though life without a partner is meaningless or worthless before and if so how did you overcome it ? How does one know life is worth living regardless of relationship status.
i feel like by the title you understand this more than you let on with your questions


its an addiction and you may need time to rehab fully (but God more now than ever to get over this.... go from focusing on a relationship with a person to God)

to have you joy solely based on how your relationship is with another person will only end in trouble


but.... when i ended my last relationship

(over 10 years ago now)

i felt like i wanted to die....

i had no faith then either....

so i was depressed for a while
then lived in lust and fornication for a few years

then God revealed to me the truth

and since then i have barely thought about relationships
(barely...
not never)
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
1,124
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#4
I was married 7 years and had 3 children, then divorced and went into another relationship for 8 years and had another 3 children, then separated and was in another relationship for 9 years and that ended ...After that I got lost in alcohol, out flirting, trying to get noticed, all the while dying in side, drug taken, staying out and then I hit rock bottom where Jesus found me:)...I found it hard thinking no one wanted me, I felt lost, thought I needed someone to complete me, but thank God He had other plans for me...
I have been walking with the Lord now for two years this month, I have also stayed celibate even before walking with our Lord, but now I belong to Christ, since God called me I have no desire to be with anyone, but like NNM said, spend time with God, He is the one who will heal you should you need healing,and if it is Gods will, He will send you the right person in your life, a Christian who you can share your life with praising God, you are young and God willing have your whole life ahead of you...Give your everything to God, and He will give you your hearts desire according to His will...xox...
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,013
68
48
#5
I was married 7 years and had 3 children, then divorced and went into another relationship for 8 years and had another 3 children, then separated and was in another relationship for 9 years and that ended ...After that I got lost in alcohol, out flirting, trying to get noticed, all the while dying in side, drug taken, staying out and then I hit rock bottom where Jesus found me:)...I found it hard thinking no one wanted me, I felt lost, thought I needed someone to complete me, but thank God He had other plans for me...
I have been walking with the Lord now for two years this month, I have also stayed celibate even before walking with our Lord, but now I belong to Christ, since God called me I have no desire to be with anyone, but like NNM said, spend time with God, He is the one who will heal you should you need healing,and if it is Gods will, He will send you the right person in your life, a Christian who you can share your life with praising God, you are young and God willing have your whole life ahead of you...Give your everything to God, and He will give you your hearts desire according to His will...xox...
Rosemary said it well...sometimes we need to be alone focusing on God. As we grow and focus on Him, we learn how to really love ourselves. Loving ourselves is important instead of relying on someone else to love us to make us feel valuable.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,370
1,333
113
#6
I'm happier now, than I ever was when I was in a relationship.. :)
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,637
331
83
#7
Has anyone felt as though life without a partner is meaningless or worthless before and if so how did you overcome it ? How does one know life is worth living regardless of relationship status.
Well there's seafood... and pears chantilly... and fresh peach cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice cream... there's LOTS of stuff to enjoy in this life, and I haven't even covered half of the food! There's also sitting by the fire with a cat purring on your lap on a cold winter day, and having a long conversation with a friend, and scratching a dog behind the ears, and... oh just lots of stuff in life to enjoy.

Life with a partner is enjoyment shared, but it is not validation of the life. A partner is also not the be-all-and-end-all of a life. Finding a spouse is not the primary objective in this life.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cook a pot of pasta and crab. Imitation crab, as I am allergic to shellfish. I think I will eschew a tomato sauce in favor of simple butter and crab. Maybe a touch of salt, maybe a bit of basil... I was thinking garlic, but I think not.

Did I mention there's a lot of stuff in life to enjoy? :cool:
 

OneFaith

Senior Member
Sep 5, 2016
1,845
119
63
#8
Has anyone felt as though life without a partner is meaningless or worthless before and if so how did you overcome it ? How does one know life is worth living regardless of relationship status.
When you were a child, you did not have a mate, and you did not think your life was not worth living because of it. I’ve been on both sides of the coin, and both have their pros and cons. God says if you take a mate you will have many troubles in this life. I sure miss kissing and cuddling, but the part I like about being free is- I’m free.

I don’t have to discuss with another person about where I go, how much I spend, etc. I miss out on all the arguments, and that’s ok with me. I still get flirted with. There are a couple guys that will not give up. I know it would never work out, still it makes me feel good that I’m still desirable to someone. But never again will I settle for “good enough”, either he’s good for me or he’s not.
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#9
Anyone who says "God is enough" is speaking absolute drivel. God is NOT enough. We were meant to be with people. Designed to be social and designed to be mated. God has said "it is not good for man to be alone". When Paul was talking about the blessed state of singleness, he SAYS he is talking about his own opinion and this is not God speaking through him.

I would say if you long for a mate, you are absolutely normal and functioning correctly. We are not asexual beings, after all.
 

Amberlight

Senior Member
Oct 8, 2016
187
7
0
#10
Anyone who says "God is enough" is speaking absolute drivel. God is NOT enough. We were meant to be with people. Designed to be social and designed to be mated. God has said "it is not good for man to be alone". When Paul was talking about the blessed state of singleness, he SAYS he is talking about his own opinion and this is not God speaking through him.

I would say if you long for a mate, you are absolutely normal and functioning correctly. We are not asexual beings, after all.

Actually for such people God IS "all they need"

Not everyone is suitable for marriage.
Not everyone needs friends
Not everyone is the same.

With maturity in spirit we grow in understanding.
And so come to understand people have different needs and different wants and not condemn.

"Anyone who says "God is enough" is speaking absolute drive"

I think it might be good if you spend some time with spiritual thoughts and practices rather than worry what other people need or do not need.
 
G

Galatea

Guest
#11
Actually for such people God IS "all they need"

Not everyone is suitable for marriage.
Not everyone needs friends
Not everyone is the same.

With maturity in spirit we grow in understanding.
And so come to understand people have different needs and different wants and not condemn.

"Anyone who says "God is enough" is speaking absolute drive"

I think it might be good if you spend some time with spiritual thoughts and practices rather than worry what other people need or do not need.
People ARE SOCIAL!!! Even antisocial people who THINK they don't need others go online to talk to PEOPLE. God made us this way, all people. Single people die sooner and are more depressed. This is scientific fact.

I maintain that it IS absolute drivel to say people don't need people. Everyone needs human contact or go stark, staring mad. Why do you think solitary confinement is torture?

I maintain that it is biblical for people to need other people. If we didn't, God would not have designed marriage and the family, procreation the way He has. We could be pod people, just like plants reproducing ourselves and in communion with God alone.

Absolutely, pure drivel. People who are antisocial are not balanced. People who need people are balanced. Even Jesus had friends and a family. I would go so far as to say God created people because HE needs people. We all need some human being on which to lavish love.

To the OP: You are normal. Not longing for a human is abnormal. So keep rocking and find yourself a wife you can talk to face to face and put your arm around and share this existence.
 

Amberlight

Senior Member
Oct 8, 2016
187
7
0
#12
People ARE SOCIAL!!! Even antisocial people who THINK they don't need others go online to talk to PEOPLE. God made us this way, all people. Single people die sooner and are more depressed. This is scientific fact.

I maintain that it IS absolute drivel to say people don't need people. Everyone needs human contact or go stark, staring mad. Why do you think solitary confinement is torture?

I maintain that it is biblical for people to need other people. If we didn't, God would not have designed marriage and the family, procreation the way He has. We could be pod people, just like plants reproducing ourselves and in communion with God alone.

Absolutely, pure drivel. People who are antisocial are not balanced. People who need people are balanced. Even Jesus had friends and a family. I would go so far as to say God created people because HE needs people. We all need some human being on which to lavish love.

To the OP: You are normal. Not longing for a human is abnormal. So keep rocking and find yourself a wife you can talk to face to face and put your arm around and share this existence.
And i think on that note it is time for some.

 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,637
331
83
#14
It's orange crush. Orange crush is a rather well known brand of soda in some regions, and here it is a play on words, because some people who are infatuated with other people will say "I have a crush on her" or "Yeah, I know she's crushing on me, it's kinda awkward."
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
12,637
331
83
#15
People ARE SOCIAL!!! Even antisocial people who THINK they don't need others go online to talk to PEOPLE. God made us this way, all people. Single people die sooner and are more depressed. This is scientific fact.

I maintain that it IS absolute drivel to say people don't need people. Everyone needs human contact or go stark, staring mad. Why do you think solitary confinement is torture?

I maintain that it is biblical for people to need other people. If we didn't, God would not have designed marriage and the family, procreation the way He has. We could be pod people, just like plants reproducing ourselves and in communion with God alone.

Absolutely, pure drivel. People who are antisocial are not balanced. People who need people are balanced. Even Jesus had friends and a family. I would go so far as to say God created people because HE needs people. We all need some human being on which to lavish love.

To the OP: You are normal. Not longing for a human is abnormal. So keep rocking and find yourself a wife you can talk to face to face and put your arm around and share this existence.
Wait a minute... you are saying that because I am perfectly content without a wife or girlfriend, that makes me abnormal? What, there's something wrong with being content as I am? To be normal I should be looking high and low for a girl?

Is that really what you're saying? Because I don't think you know much about people and I don't think you realize how different some people are from others.
 

NoNameMcgee

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
4,618
637
113
#16
Anyone who says "God is enough" is speaking absolute drivel. God is NOT enough
youre wrong

: /


you have your own opinions on this

and youre pushing them


God is enough



no the OP is not lacking because he desires love....
and being social has nothing at all to do with NEEDING a husband/wife...


but yes


God is enough

even if you belittle people who know so through their daily walk
 
Last edited:

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,450
350
83
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#17
People ARE SOCIAL!!! Even antisocial people who THINK they don't need others go online to talk to PEOPLE. God made us this way, all people. Single people die sooner and are more depressed. This is scientific fact.

I maintain that it IS absolute drivel to say people don't need people. Everyone needs human contact or go stark, staring mad. Why do you think solitary confinement is torture?

I maintain that it is biblical for people to need other people. If we didn't, God would not have designed marriage and the family, procreation the way He has. We could be pod people, just like plants reproducing ourselves and in communion with God alone.

Absolutely, pure drivel. People who are antisocial are not balanced. People who need people are balanced. Even Jesus had friends and a family. I would go so far as to say God created people because HE needs people. We all need some human being on which to lavish love.

To the OP: You are normal. Not longing for a human is abnormal. So keep rocking and find yourself a wife you can talk to face to face and put your arm around and share this existence.
actually no it is not "abnormal" Galatea hard to believe you are saying such things...
some people in the bible were very unsociable yet were faithful to God,a person doesn't have to speak to people,or seek out a mate,God is who matters most through his son Jesus are we saved so it should be our priority to serve God with or without a relationship with any person.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,450
350
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#19
That doesn't make sense to me, unless that is the online equivalent of a "blow off".
I suppose us unsociable people just get the meaning faster lol.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,450
350
83
25
#20
People ARE SOCIAL!!! Even antisocial people who THINK they don't need others go online to talk to PEOPLE. God made us this way, all people. Single people die sooner and are more depressed. This is scientific fact.

I maintain that it IS absolute drivel to say people don't need people. Everyone needs human contact or go stark, staring mad. Why do you think solitary confinement is torture?

I maintain that it is biblical for people to need other people. If we didn't, God would not have designed marriage and the family, procreation the way He has. We could be pod people, just like plants reproducing ourselves and in communion with God alone.

Absolutely, pure drivel. People who are antisocial are not balanced. People who need people are balanced. Even Jesus had friends and a family. I would go so far as to say God created people because HE needs people. We all need some human being on which to lavish love.

To the OP: You are normal. Not longing for a human is abnormal. So keep rocking and find yourself a wife you can talk to face to face and put your arm around and share this existence.
So when Jesus was tempted by satan"Alone",did he need people?