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It's odd that so many people have a hard-line yes or no answer to this, as though one approach should work for everyone. Even with more tangible things such as cars and medical drugs, some things work better for some people than for others.
As a spectator of the sport, I find it fascinating. It's like watching a basketball game played by people new to basketball, while the fans keep yelling at them how to play, and arguing with each other about how basketball should be played.
"Well I say you should do a layup with the LEFT hand. I've watched thoussands of people go for a layup and left-handed ones are 5.3% more likely to succeed."
"That's only because less than 1% of people go for a layup left-handed. You don't have enough data on left-handed layups to make that claim. If left- and right-handed layups were done in equal measure you'd find they all have the same chance of success."
As a spectator of the sport, I find it fascinating. It's like watching a basketball game played by people new to basketball, while the fans keep yelling at them how to play, and arguing with each other about how basketball should be played.
"Well I say you should do a layup with the LEFT hand. I've watched thoussands of people go for a layup and left-handed ones are 5.3% more likely to succeed."
"That's only because less than 1% of people go for a layup left-handed. You don't have enough data on left-handed layups to make that claim. If left- and right-handed layups were done in equal measure you'd find they all have the same chance of success."
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Book of Ruth people seem to forget that is was Naomi who encouraged her potetnial daughter in law. Boaz didnt pursue Ruth ...hardly at all. If she had never uncovered his feet than the match wouldnt have happened. He even offered her up to someone else at first.
The only thing he did was tell her to stay away from other men lol
The only thing he did was tell her to stay away from other men lol
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Because their is a lot to be said for the love of a good woman who loves honours and cherishes you.
It's easy to keep. A woman happy if you know how love honour and appreciate her. Plus the one thing a wife can give that no one else can is children and a family.
I would love a home with a lot of children, a full house, I can't stand the silence anymore and using the tv to immitate visitors.
It's easy to keep. A woman happy if you know how love honour and appreciate her. Plus the one thing a wife can give that no one else can is children and a family.
I would love a home with a lot of children, a full house, I can't stand the silence anymore and using the tv to immitate visitors.
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From this guy's perspective, I think it is fine for a lady to make her interests and intentions clear. After all, some guys accuse their wives or girlfriends of expecting them to read minds. Lack of Communication can be a big hindrance to a potentially permanent relationship. It should be appropriate.
Side note, The college/ party scene and the dating app routine can really mess up a person's marriageability and puts them at risk for much disappointment. 98% are going to be christian in name only or tell you what they think you want to hear. They often have serious social problems that nobody can" fix" no matter how hard their spouse tries.
There were one or two proposals from
mother's on behalf of their daughters. Lol!
I hate to say it, but I've had three marriage proposals from three lovely women who most men would have taken advantage of.
At those points, I wasn't as sure as they were. It wasn't that I wasn't ready for marriage. It was that I didn't know them well enough to make that call until I got to know them better. If a lady wishes to let her boyfriend know she wants to get married, she should be prepared if he isn't ready, or perhaps wants to propose later of his own initiative. However, the man should be respectful and sensitive to the girl's feelings regardless. Communicate guys!
Hopefully it won't be like this....
😄
Best case scenarios: I appreciate the parents asking me to ask their daughters to wholesome activities to get acquainted. Those were/ are the best IMHO. Others asked their girls to call me and let me know they'd like for us to go to the Christian movie that was at the theater or to an outing. I see nothing wrong with that. Consider the Biblical example of Naomi to Ruth concerning Boaz.
The best candidates were those whose parents knew me well and I them.
The last one was a mom I knew from church for a long time. She led a ladies group and her husband head of the engineering department. They have a lovely daughter who recently graduated. She wants me to go see her at her new church and get acquainted. I think this kind of situation beats the odds of a lottery ticket. The parents know the guy real well and how he was for years. They know his background and beliefs. They have wisdom and know what their daughter needs/ prefers.
Side note, The college/ party scene and the dating app routine can really mess up a person's marriageability and puts them at risk for much disappointment. 98% are going to be christian in name only or tell you what they think you want to hear. They often have serious social problems that nobody can" fix" no matter how hard their spouse tries.
There were one or two proposals from
mother's on behalf of their daughters. Lol!
I hate to say it, but I've had three marriage proposals from three lovely women who most men would have taken advantage of.
At those points, I wasn't as sure as they were. It wasn't that I wasn't ready for marriage. It was that I didn't know them well enough to make that call until I got to know them better. If a lady wishes to let her boyfriend know she wants to get married, she should be prepared if he isn't ready, or perhaps wants to propose later of his own initiative. However, the man should be respectful and sensitive to the girl's feelings regardless. Communicate guys!
Hopefully it won't be like this....
Best case scenarios: I appreciate the parents asking me to ask their daughters to wholesome activities to get acquainted. Those were/ are the best IMHO. Others asked their girls to call me and let me know they'd like for us to go to the Christian movie that was at the theater or to an outing. I see nothing wrong with that. Consider the Biblical example of Naomi to Ruth concerning Boaz.
The best candidates were those whose parents knew me well and I them.
The last one was a mom I knew from church for a long time. She led a ladies group and her husband head of the engineering department. They have a lovely daughter who recently graduated. She wants me to go see her at her new church and get acquainted. I think this kind of situation beats the odds of a lottery ticket. The parents know the guy real well and how he was for years. They know his background and beliefs. They have wisdom and know what their daughter needs/ prefers.
Questions reveal a lot about us.
If you think BOTH sexes aren't wanting to meet each other, think again. The question is, what are you seeking and why? Are you pursuing a relationship with another person in Jesus for fellowship and mutuality? Do you immediately want to "pair off" and be a "thing"? Are you lonely? Do you have lots of friends of the opposite sex?
We are, Paul says, "..not to be squeezed into the world's mould..." (Romans 12:2a). So what does that look like when it comes to asking others to relate? Lust is the predominant sentiment in the world and has made significant progress in the North American church, IMO. Look at the stats for how many Christian leaders can't stop lusting online or in real life.
Too many North American Christians have the emotional maturity of 13-year-olds (look at the stats gathered by Christian professionals like George Barna and Dr. Jim Wilder). How can we expect they will act maturely with the opposite sex? Look at our marriage retention rates compared to the world system! The problem is we are immature spiritually and emotionally.
Maturity emotionally is based on being loved well and synchronizing with others. Does that sound like you? Can you return from difficult positive or negative emotions quickly and deftly, or do you behave in ways you often need to "clean up"? These are signs you have areas of emotional maturity in which you are stuck. Do you characterize your relationships as based on love or fear, mainly?
If you have the kinds of issues I am describing above, chances are that you may not have the emotional maturity you need to be successful in a marriage relationship. If that's true, you need people who can help because they have that maturity. These people are referred to in the Bible as Elders. And before we jump passed the term "elder," let's make sure we know what an elder is.
An Elder has raised his kids to maturity. They are the husband/wife of one wife/husband. They have time, skill and inclination to help their community grow in emotional maturity. Look at what Paul says to Timothy about needing to pick elders as a young leader. These people don't need a title; they attract attention because they know how to live maturely. You often DON'T see them beetling off to the south in the colder times of the year. Instead, they stick around to support their community.
So yes, seek friends to relate to, and even more, seek people that are "upstream of you in terms of spiritual and emotional maturity so that you can be ready for a possible marriage relationship.
If you think BOTH sexes aren't wanting to meet each other, think again. The question is, what are you seeking and why? Are you pursuing a relationship with another person in Jesus for fellowship and mutuality? Do you immediately want to "pair off" and be a "thing"? Are you lonely? Do you have lots of friends of the opposite sex?
We are, Paul says, "..not to be squeezed into the world's mould..." (Romans 12:2a). So what does that look like when it comes to asking others to relate? Lust is the predominant sentiment in the world and has made significant progress in the North American church, IMO. Look at the stats for how many Christian leaders can't stop lusting online or in real life.
Too many North American Christians have the emotional maturity of 13-year-olds (look at the stats gathered by Christian professionals like George Barna and Dr. Jim Wilder). How can we expect they will act maturely with the opposite sex? Look at our marriage retention rates compared to the world system! The problem is we are immature spiritually and emotionally.
Maturity emotionally is based on being loved well and synchronizing with others. Does that sound like you? Can you return from difficult positive or negative emotions quickly and deftly, or do you behave in ways you often need to "clean up"? These are signs you have areas of emotional maturity in which you are stuck. Do you characterize your relationships as based on love or fear, mainly?
If you have the kinds of issues I am describing above, chances are that you may not have the emotional maturity you need to be successful in a marriage relationship. If that's true, you need people who can help because they have that maturity. These people are referred to in the Bible as Elders. And before we jump passed the term "elder," let's make sure we know what an elder is.
An Elder has raised his kids to maturity. They are the husband/wife of one wife/husband. They have time, skill and inclination to help their community grow in emotional maturity. Look at what Paul says to Timothy about needing to pick elders as a young leader. These people don't need a title; they attract attention because they know how to live maturely. You often DON'T see them beetling off to the south in the colder times of the year. Instead, they stick around to support their community.
So yes, seek friends to relate to, and even more, seek people that are "upstream of you in terms of spiritual and emotional maturity so that you can be ready for a possible marriage relationship.
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