So I am trying to decide...

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CharliRenee

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Nov 4, 2014
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#1
I'm 53 and most men my age want a younger gal. I am trying to decide if I want to pursue a relationship as it will require some creativity on my part because I work out of my home and don't get out much. I just wonder, should I just stay single, or should I give it a whirl in the seeking an equally yolked Christian feller? I am content, even happy, most days as it is. I just have moments where i think about what is missing or how nice it would be if... But again, I am no spring chicken, past middle age even. I just know that I am very selective and not desperate but ponder if I might...hmmmm...
 
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LaVieEnRose

Guest
#2
Fifty three is not that old, and you look very pretty in your avatar. Have you thought about using the OurTime dating service? It is for mature singles looking for other mature singles.

There are many men not into younger women because they are not interested in having families. I would not give up the idea of getting married if I were you. Not every man is looking for a young woman, and some younger guys like dating more mature women.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
9,912
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#3
53 is nowhere near old enough to just stop trying. Since you're not in a hurry it seems like a perfect opportunity to put the matter in the Lord's hands, ask His guidance, and wait on Him. :)
 

CharliRenee

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Nov 4, 2014
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#4
Fifty three is not that old, and you look very pretty in your avatar. Have you thought about using the OurTime dating service? It is for mature singles looking for other mature singles.

There are many men not into younger women because they are not interested in having families. I would not give up the idea of getting married if I were you. Not every man is looking for a young woman, and some younger guys like dating more mature women.
Great advice but I want equally yolked and I don't want to go about life like I am missing something. But great advice, thank you so much. Hugs and God Bless
 

CharliRenee

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Nov 4, 2014
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#5
53 is nowhere near old enough to just stop trying. Since you're not in a hurry it seems like a perfect opportunity to put the matter in the Lord's hands, ask His guidance, and wait on Him. :)
Yes, great advice, let Him be the answer here, either way.
 
S

Sherril

Guest
#6
For us God brought us together I was 50 and my husband was 52 years old....we just had out 12th wedding anniversary...we both love God and are on the same page in our walk with the Lord, desiring Gods truths & His will...so if God has someone for you Charlie He will bring it to pass.....God bless you sis....:)
 

CharliRenee

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Nov 4, 2014
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#7
Well, thank you dear sister, I am not seriously looking or even considering it. I just thought about it today, as I do every now and again and so I wrote through it, as I love to do with my thoughts. I find your story so inspiring and moving. I appreciate how u two work so well together. I am content making Jesus the desire of my heart and if someone walked in, He will make it clear. Until, I think that I'll be ok just how it is, even if it is to remain this way.
I took the monentary lonely feeling I was enduring to my Lord, and wrote more and now my cup is feeling full with Him. Thank you again for reading and responding. I love you, sister.
 
Jun 27, 2011
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#10
I'm 53 and most men my age want a younger gal.

Well, I'm 53 (in fact I'll be 54 in July), but if this is a recent photo of you and you are really 53 then I must say it makes me feel like I must be 101 years old or something!

seriously don't think about age, as they say "It's just a number". age is how you feel.!

By the way, not most men your age want a younger girl/woman. (maybe some but not most, I know that I have never been interested in youngers, and I like to believe that hopefully I'm not among the minority in that).

I wish you'll meet the right man that you deserve in the right time some day (no matter how old you or he would be because it'll last for the rest of your life).
God Bless.!
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,818
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#11
You are beautiful and wonderfully made :)
 
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toinena

Guest
#12
I am 46.... and I have been married. Good men seem to shun me, bad men wants to abuse me. I am trying to learn to separate the two, but, as the good men are not interested I just end up hurt. Whether it is bad or good men.

I have tried dating apps. Even Christians'. I have tried to get involved with guys here.... not very successfully.

I see you in a different league than I, though. You are pretty and you are flexible if you can work from home, you can easily move. I have a luggage so heavy nobody could carry it, and I hope you have not. You are also an insider to the American protestants, and there are not many Europeans around for me to date here.

I think you have all the chances in the world to get married still, but as Dino said (he is one of the wisest persons I know on this site), seek the Lord. I seek him for not one but four miracles. And my life would be a blast if He could grant me one of them.

Keep on praying. Keep your eyes, heart and mind open. And avoid the bad guys!
 

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
101
63
#13
I would say rather than focusing on going out and trying to find a date, maybe just find ways to go out and meet new people in general and see what happens. You may or may not find a date, but hopefully you'll find some people that bring you life and have fun in the process :)
 
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LaVieEnRose

Guest
#14
Great advice but I want equally yolked and I don't want to go about life like I am missing something. But great advice, thank you so much. Hugs and God Bless
I am sure there are Christians on OurTime and e-Harmony or Christian Mingle.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,893
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#15
I'm 53 and most men my age want a younger gal. I am trying to decide if I want to pursue a relationship as it will require some creativity on my part because I work out of my home and don't get out much. I just wonder, should I just stay single, or should I give it a whirl in the seeking an equally yolked Christian feller? I am content, even happy, most days as it is. I just have moments where i think about what is missing or how nice it would be if... But again, I am no spring chicken, past middle age even. I just know that I am very selective and not desperate but ponder if I might...hmmmm...
Update here, I worked through that lonely moment with Jesus. All is well..♡
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
14,444
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#16
One thing I have learned, mostly from watching the mistakes of other people, is that shopping for a spouse is like shopping for a car or a computer... You don't want to be in a hurry to get something right now when you go shopping. You always want to be able to afford to wait for the best deal.

But I do agree that you should try to get out and have fun. Working from home and staying home all the time is no way to enjoy life for anyone except those people who really, really hate dealing with other people.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
3,893
4,377
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#17
One thing I have learned, mostly from watching the mistakes of other people, is that shopping for a spouse is like shopping for a car or a computer... You don't want to be in a hurry to get something right now when you go shopping. You always want to be able to afford to wait for the best deal.

But I do agree that you should try to get out and have fun. Working from home and staying home all the time is no way to enjoy life for anyone except those people who really, really hate dealing with other people.

Ppl are a blessing, indeed.
 
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toinena

Guest
#19
I think there is a lot of solid advice here.

But I do want to warn people (and remind myself) of that the person you meet online, whether it is here or on a dating site, often becomes an illusion of what you want that necessarily doesn't match reality.

How many times have I not fallen for a man online, nurtured the dream, giving him virtues he might not have. Ignoring his negatives and just longing for what I think is the perfect match.

God has protected me against the worst consequences of this folly.

I think when another dream crashes, a girl is allowed to dream. But now I am tired of waking up from them.

Am I getting wiser? For a moment I am. I will live and work and just focus on my walk. (That sounds strange, sitting in a wheelchair, but the roll of life sounds stranger).

Do I stop hoping for Mr. Darcy? No. A part of me will always long for him. Do I believe it will happen? Not really. But I need to hope that God will provide me one if and when it is needed the most.

I hope this helps you. I don't think you are too old, but after all these sites being suggested, I felt like warning you. Don't do the same mistakes I did.
 
Jun 29, 2018
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Marianna Florida
#20
I think there is a lot of solid advice here.

But I do want to warn people (and remind myself) of that the person you meet online, whether it is here or on a dating site, often becomes an illusion of what you want that necessarily doesn't match reality.

How many times have I not fallen for a man online, nurtured the dream, giving him virtues he might not have. Ignoring his negatives and just longing for what I think is the perfect match.

God has protected me against the worst consequences of this folly.

I think when another dream crashes, a girl is allowed to dream. But now I am tired of waking up from them.

Am I getting wiser? For a moment I am. I will live and work and just focus on my walk. (That sounds strange, sitting in a wheelchair, but the roll of life sounds stranger).

Do I stop hoping for Mr. Darcy? No. A part of me will always long for him. Do I believe it will happen? Not really. But I need to hope that God will provide me one if and when it is needed the most.

I hope this helps you. I don't think you are too old, but after all these sites being suggested, I felt like warning you. Don't do the same mistakes I did.
I really like and respect the openness and honesty you seem to share here. I have been in a similar situation for quite a while. 7 months ago I stopped and begin to fully concentrate on my relationship with the Lord and simply placed my desire to have a wife in his hands. I had similar experiences and Revelations regarding perceived and actual character of people that I was getting to know. The fact is if someone really wants you to know who they really are then they will reveal that to you and they will have a mature spiritual position in that honesty is always the best policy. People who put up a facade are about deceiving others for their own benefit. So what I found was to be the only safe ground is to Simply Model A christ-like Life in order to try and be as blameless and possible before God and in front of other people. Then if people reject you they are rejecting God or they are simply not the one and God is shielding us from someone that he sees his not his choice for us.
I think there is a lot of solid advice here.

But I do want to warn people (and remind myself) of that the person you meet online, whether it is here or on a dating site, often becomes an illusion of what you want that necessarily doesn't match reality.

How many times have I not fallen for a man online, nurtured the dream, giving him virtues he might not have. Ignoring his negatives and just longing for what I think is the perfect match.

God has protected me against the worst consequences of this folly.

I think when another dream crashes, a girl is allowed to dream. But now I am tired of waking up from them.

Am I getting wiser? For a moment I am. I will live and work and just focus on my walk. (That sounds strange, sitting in a wheelchair, but the roll of life sounds stranger).

Do I stop hoping for Mr. Darcy? No. A part of me will always long for him. Do I believe it will happen? Not really. But I need to hope that God will provide me one if and when it is needed the most.

I hope this helps you. I don't think you are too old, but after all these sites being suggested, I felt like warning you. Don't do the same mistakes I did.
Thank you so much for sharing this testimony. I have had a similar experience over a long period of time however starting not quite a year ago I begin to Simply put God completely first in my life with little thought anymore about finding a Godly wife. It has definitely been an unexpectedly blessed time and that I was not aware how much of a blessing it would be to completely focus on the Lord. It has also been an exciting time and I know that the Lord has made some changes in my heart for the better and has continued to teach me by his Holy Spirit so that I might also teach others.
You mentioned a couple of things that really brought to light some truths that are increasingly evident within the church regarding a woman's expectations for a husband. First of all you said you were still waiting on a mr. Darcy. now I happen to like that story quite a lot myself and I am definitely an old-school romantic. However one of the things that I have learned in the past several years at an increasingly profound depth is that many of our expectations for a spouse have been modeled by more or less what can only be called entertainment. This isn't novels, TV shows, movies, and even magazines. Mr. Darcy is a fictional character Who had fictional interaction scripted by the author with his love to be. What I have noticed universally across years and years of online interaction with women is that I have never read a Facebook preface or a dating profile and which a woman expressed the desire to have a man in her life like Peter Joshua Paul or any other holy man in the Bible. There is always some sort of worldly flavor and what they're looking for but at the same time they want him miraculously to be this husband who loves with Christ like perfection. I think it is often expectations that are really in truly not of God that is keeping so many Christians from finding one another in terms of marital bonding and appointment. As you stated the good men don't seem to be interested but the bad men are. One thing about a good man and a good woman who take care of themselves and have their life together is that they know they're a commodity. In fact they know that they are a very precious commodity. This causes them to want to play the field perhaps a lot more than they should if it all. In my understanding which has come to a deep level here in the past several months is that the future spouse that God would appoint to us is in fact that, appointed. Rebecca, nor Rachel, nor Leah dated the men Who became their husbands. God merely arrange their introduction and marriages by Divine appointment and this brother flies in the face of people who live in a society who value freedom of choice so much over the will of God. God undoubtedly will place us with people that we can experience spiritual growth with together and people that we can discharge the Great Commission with. This is a far cry from what seems to be the selection criteria of the world which has provided the church which is does he cause me to lose control of my thoughts and bodily functions by simply looking at me and is he the man that all the other women want because if I can get him that really means I'm special. It is very difficult to swallow the truth that the proverbial nice guy who is in essence the gentle but firm Spirit-filled man is going to probably finish low in the market appeal rankings. So what I decided was to ask God to make me into the man that he wants me to be. Now I did ask him to do this years ago and he has done a great working me over a long period of time, but bear in mind that a godly man is going to comply with the mandates set forth by Christ which is to conform ourselves not in any way to the likeness of this world. So if a lot of Christian women are drawn to uncaring and selfish pricks then that is exactly what they are going to get in the end. Our society has quite misconstrued kindness and an accommodating attitude to be weakness when in fact it is simply selflessness. How typical of the world to lie about Godly virtue and it's value.