Thoughts on Dating someone that isnt a christian

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voiceoftruth

Guest
#1
#1
Hello I have a good friend who is a christian who is choosing to date a friend of mine that is not christian. I was wondering what your view are on that. i know what the bible says about it. But i wanna see peoples view by there own experience and what they have seen with others and also what they feel God wants. thanks!
 
cookie39

cookie39

Senior Member
#2
Oct 5, 2009
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DON'T DO IT!!!!! THEY CAN'T LOVE YOU IF THEY DON'T LOVE GOD.
 
MajorMesser

MajorMesser

Banned
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Nov 22, 2009
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DON'T DO IT!!!!! THEY CAN'T LOVE YOU IF THEY DON'T LOVE GOD.
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I can't tell if you're being serious or not.

If you are, I pity you.
 
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SoughtAndFound

Guest
#4
#4
MajorMesser said:
I can't tell if you're being serious or not.

If you are, I pity you.
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Quite right [assuming that the post was meant in seriousness] I have found that there are people in this world who have more integrity than some Christians. For a Christian, their eternity may be secure, but they can still be a jerk/jerkette in this life, and a burden or danger to other Christians.
 
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biggentleben

biggentleben

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Oct 7, 2009
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you should not be unequally yoked....in other words, you should not be dating a non-Christian...directly from the Word of God....
 
MajorMesser

MajorMesser

Banned
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Nov 22, 2009
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There are times when you need to put God on the back burner, and think about what YOU want in life. If a non-christian man/woman makes you happy, then go for it!

I'm Atheist, and I wouldn't care what religion the girl I date is. As long as we can respect each others beliefs then it should go smooth.
 
Crypto

Crypto

Senior Member
#7
Nov 14, 2009
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#7
it doesn't work and it's disobedient
 
MajorMesser

MajorMesser

Banned
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Nov 22, 2009
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Oh please, do elaborate on why it doesn't work?
 
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CurlyGirlGrace

Guest
#9
#9
Okay so here's the deal or rather my experience and thoughts on the whole issue. On a purely superficial level it can work but when it comes down to it, if you are truly a Christian and are truly seeking to live a life that is congruent with the Christian life mapped out in the Bible than dating a non-believer can cause some serious problems. Everyone has things that are important to them. Some are more important than other things. These are called values. My highest Values are God, Family, and Creativity. Yours might be different. But as Christian women and men our highest value should always be God. Whenever we start dating someone that does not believe in God or even a Christian whose top value is not God then one of three things will happen if you move your relationship beyond a purely superficial level. 1. You will change your values in order to match the other persons 2. They will change their values to match yours. 3. You will fight like cats and dogs and feel a constant tension and inability to truly connect/understand each other on a deep meaningful level.
 
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Liam

Banned
#10
Nov 13, 2009
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CurlyGirlGrace said:
Okay so here's the deal or rather my experience and thoughts on the whole issue. On a purely superficial level it can work but when it comes down to it, if you are truly a Christian and are truly seeking to live a life that is congruent with the Christian life mapped out in the Bible than dating a non-believer can cause some serious problems. Everyone has things that are important to them. Some are more important than other things. These are called values. My highest Values are God, Family, and Creativity. Yours might be different. But as Christian women and men our highest value should always be God. Whenever we start dating someone that does not believe in God or even a Christian whose top value is not God then one of three things will happen if you move your relationship beyond a purely superficial level. 1. You will change your values in order to match the other persons 2. They will change their values to match yours. 3. You will fight like cats and dogs and feel a constant tension and inability to truly connect/understand each other on a deep meaningful level.
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Hmmm the girl knows what she's talking about, between her and Seoul I
might actually stop hiding behind crass humour and sarcasm and bring a little reality back into the light. Maybe. No promises. -puts his hands in his pockets and turns to leave-

the lady hit the nail right on the head, I rather no one argued with her on this. I'd hate to get involved. :)
 
MajorMesser

MajorMesser

Banned
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Nov 22, 2009
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I'm also going to hold back on this.... It wouldn't reflect well on me if I responded how I felt.
 
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Liam

Banned
#12
Nov 13, 2009
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#12
That sort of thing shouldn't matter.
 
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CurlyGirlGrace

Guest
#13
#13
I'd be interested in hearing how you feel Major Messer.
 
xXxNightXStalkerX4XGodxXx

xXxNightXStalkerX4XGodxXx

Banned
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Feb 13, 2009
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I've dated both christians and non-christians. And honestly I understand the who no dating non-christian ideals but as long as they are not a hinderance to your walk with the lord it does not pose a problem. Because sure you can date and marry a christian but that does not mean that the partner is not a hypocrite. So you need to be cautious on who you date in general. If the person that you date isnt a christian try to bring them to the Lord and then continue your walks with the Lord as a couple. This will also make you stronger in your relationship together as well as with God.
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#15
Sep 8, 2006
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As a christian, any relationship you have should be an extention of your relationship with Christ.
If your relationship with Christ is wishy-washy at best....then a relationship with a non-christian etc will not bother you, and may even be something you can justify into being *right*.

BUT....if you are seeking Christ with your whole heart and striving to do His will in your life, then the idea of being yoked together with an unbeliever will not appeal to you in any way.

As a christian woman, I have always loved this quote..."A womans heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to seek Him to find her."
 
DinoDillinger

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
#16
Jul 28, 2009
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MajorMesser said:
There are times when you need to put God on the back burner, and think about what YOU want in life. If a non-christian man/woman makes you happy, then go for it!

I'm Atheist, and I wouldn't care what religion the girl I date is. As long as we can respect each others beliefs then it should go smooth.
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A christian doesn't depend on their rational thinking or emotions when making decisions. When we don't follow the guide of a more intelligent force than ourselves since we have the opportunity to, we end up regeting it most the time. A christian's behavoir will annoy a non-believer. An extreme example would be a person being called to the mission field. Their are still places where you can get killed for preaching the gospel. Alot of non-believers would resent their spouse going and risking their life for what they consider a fairy tale.

Why would you want to spend your whole life with someone who thought the most important thing in your life was a lie?

Or to the atheist, why would you, with someone so dumb to fall for one?
 
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Karina777

Guest
#18
#18
I absolutly agree that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. God has a plan for our lives, and we as christians should most definately leave our life in Gods hands... Let him guide you and lead you, Seek God first... and all the rest will be set in order for you - If you truley believe.

I was in a relationship with a person for 8years who was raised as a christian by his grandmother but did not activley seek God in his day to day life. Whenever I was going through a struggle or some harship and just wanted to get down on my knees and pray for an hour or so about my trial, my partner would think I was being overly dramatic (his family even thought the same). Its can become extreamly difficult leading the life in Christ that you truley desire, if the enemy decides to use you spouse to divert you attentions.

Hence my reason for being on a website dedicated to "Christians" God has given man his own free will, so he will not force us into the direction that we need to be in, but as I said above, if you seek through him... You will find. Your soulmate should be like minded and have the same spritual desire as you, so that when you ultimatly become one through marriage you have the same hopes, dreams and aspirations for yourselfs, the future, and your childrens future. (just my opinion)

Furthermore, you can seek God together, have fellowship with your spouse, and pray together, and read your bible together... (this kind of fellowship cannot be brought) we all live one life for a purpose, for we are but dust of the ground, and it is our souls that will go on to live for all eternity. Will we choose heaven for ourselves and leave our spouse to their own devices?
 
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machew

Guest
#19
#19
I am going to have to agree with CurlyGirlGrace on this one. I don't agree just because it is the Christian thing to do, or because someone told me that it was what I should do, but because of my experiences.

A Christian should be dating someone because they see them as potential marriage material. A romantic relationship without the intention of covenant relationship is at best selfish. When a Christian enters into a romantic relationship both people should have their primary focus on how to serve the other person. When both people have this in mind, both of the persons' needs will be met. When both people only have in mind what they want out of the relationship, the relationship will only last until one of the people in the relationship is no longer satisfied. If the mindset of the other person is to serve the other, negative feedback no longer prompts a defensive posture but a self-evaluation in how they are not meeting the other's needs. Through honest communication, many problems can be a lot more easily resolved when the right mentality to serve is in place.

When a Christian dates a non-Christian, it is extremely difficult to create this dynamic because of the difference in values. I have even seen this problem in many Christian dating Christian relationships because of the past wounds and hurts each of them have experienced. It is extremely hard to have a healthy dating relationship with someone who has a deep wound of hurt from the past that continuously tries to control the relationship to get their needs met.

I do not agree with a statement that DinoDillinger made, that Christians don't use rational thought and emotions to assess someone they are considering. The mind and emotions are not something to be afraid of when it is renewed and sanctified. The key is whether or not our mind and emotions control us, or whether we are in control of our minds and emotions. This is the fruit of the Spirit called self-control. Our mind and emotions make a horrible master, but a great servant that can help us greatly in finding a potential mate.


I'm sure there are people who don't agree with me. But I figured I would share anyway.


Blessings!

Machew
 
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MajorMesser

MajorMesser

Banned
#20
Nov 22, 2009
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#20
I suppose that if you're going based on your own opinion, then all the more power to you.

If you're not dating someone who isn't Christian because someone ELSE tells you not to? You're not thinking for yourself.
 
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