Try-Before-You-Buy Marriage Sampler

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#1
NO this thread does not have anything to do with premarital sex. :eek::rolleyes:

Today while I was on the job my hands had a lot to do but my brain was idling. I started thinking about how technology might give an engaged couple a taste of living together before they actually get married and have to put up with each other for real.

Here's what my brain came up with:
- Both people set up a phone or tablet with a permanent internet connection (wifi probably) and a video chat program that is set to automatically answer incoming video calls (this is actually a thing. Skype can be set to auto-answer video chats, and I have used it to give the family a portal to talk to Grandma from wherever they are) and set the phone in the corner of the room where they spend the most time.
- Both people start a video chat running as soon as they get home (unless one is already running.)
- Both people give each other a run-down of their work schedules, so they at least have a ballpark idea of when each other will be home.
- Eye contact and constant attentiveness to the communication line is not mandatory or even encouraged. The goal is to have an idea of what it is like to be in each other's presence for extended periods every day, not have hours-long direct conversations... unless that's what they both want to do every day. Some people talk a lot more than others.
- Only stop the video chat when somebody goes to bed.

Of course this won't give a FULL idea of what it's like to live with somebody else. They won't get any experience with her hogging the bathroom or him leaving his dirty socks in the living room floor for the 500th time. But it will give them at least a bit of an idea of what it's like to live with each other. It will give two single people some experience in living in a house where there is always somebody else present, instead of being all alone.

Does he pick his nose absent-mindedly? Does she have post-nasal drip and clear her throat every five minutes? Does he cuss when he gets ticked about something? Can she handle having somebody within earshot all the time or will the strain of "somebody else is in the area" all the time wear her down?

On the flip side, it will also give them some experience in always having a companion who is there to talk if needed, but (hopefully) can do normal life if conversation is not needed.

Comments? Modifications? Suggestions? Criticism? Sometimes when I let my brain wander it comes up with some pretty neat things. Other times it's scary where my brain will blunder into. This time I'm hoping y'all can tell me which this idea is.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,275
14,835
113
67
Tennessee
#2
Interesting idea, sort of like a virtual marriage without the commitment.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#3
Well... kinda like a trial commitment. They both agree to have the video chat running all the time they are home. And if this having-somebody-else-present-all-the-time thing doesn't work out for either of them, they can call it off without all the legal stuff and hopefully with hearts that are at least less broken than they would have been if they had actually been married.

Also it gives single people practice with practical things like remembering to tell the other person if one is going to be late getting home today, so the other will not worry. ;)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#4
Actually I'm sure somebody has already thought of using video chat to simulate living with somebody else, as a concept trial. But I've never heard of it, so I mention it here.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,275
14,835
113
67
Tennessee
#5
Well... kinda like a trial commitment. They both agree to have the video chat running all the time they are home. And if this having-somebody-else-present-all-the-time thing doesn't work out for either of them, they can call it off without all the legal stuff and hopefully with hearts that are at least less broken than they would have been if they had actually been married.

Also it gives single people practice with practical things like remembering to tell the other person if one is going to be late getting home today, so the other will not worry. ;)
Actually, your concept is very interesting and has merit.
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#6
NO this thread does not have anything to do with premarital sex. :eek::rolleyes:

Today while I was on the job my hands had a lot to do but my brain was idling. I started thinking about how technology might give an engaged couple a taste of living together before they actually get married and have to put up with each other for real.

Here's what my brain came up with:
- Both people set up a phone or tablet with a permanent internet connection (wifi probably) and a video chat program that is set to automatically answer incoming video calls (this is actually a thing. Skype can be set to auto-answer video chats, and I have used it to give the family a portal to talk to Grandma from wherever they are) and set the phone in the corner of the room where they spend the most time.
- Both people start a video chat running as soon as they get home (unless one is already running.)
- Both people give each other a run-down of their work schedules, so they at least have a ballpark idea of when each other will be home.
- Eye contact and constant attentiveness to the communication line is not mandatory or even encouraged. The goal is to have an idea of what it is like to be in each other's presence for extended periods every day, not have hours-long direct conversations... unless that's what they both want to do every day. Some people talk a lot more than others.
- Only stop the video chat when somebody goes to bed.

Of course this won't give a FULL idea of what it's like to live with somebody else. They won't get any experience with her hogging the bathroom or him leaving his dirty socks in the living room floor for the 500th time. But it will give them at least a bit of an idea of what it's like to live with each other. It will give two single people some experience in living in a house where there is always somebody else present, instead of being all alone.

Does he pick his nose absent-mindedly? Does she have post-nasal drip and clear her throat every five minutes? Does he cuss when he gets ticked about something? Can she handle having somebody within earshot all the time or will the strain of "somebody else is in the area" all the time wear her down?

On the flip side, it will also give them some experience in always having a companion who is there to talk if needed, but (hopefully) can do normal life if conversation is not needed.

Comments? Modifications? Suggestions? Criticism? Sometimes when I let my brain wander it comes up with some pretty neat things. Other times it's scary where my brain will blunder into. This time I'm hoping y'all can tell me which this idea is.
How about the man just concentrates on being the type of husband who will LAY HIS LIFE DOWN FOR HIS WIFE as Christ laid his life down for the church and the woman just concentrates on being the type of wife who will REVERENCE HER HUSBAND as the church reverences Christ?

Seriously, people need to get over their self-centered selves and live for the Lord.

Hey, you asked...
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,151
2,185
113
#7
NO this thread does not have anything to do with premarital sex. :eek::rolleyes:

Today while I was on the job my hands had a lot to do but my brain was idling. I started thinking about how technology might give an engaged couple a taste of living together before they actually get married and have to put up with each other for real.

Here's what my brain came up with:
- Both people set up a phone or tablet with a permanent internet connection (wifi probably) and a video chat program that is set to automatically answer incoming video calls (this is actually a thing. Skype can be set to auto-answer video chats, and I have used it to give the family a portal to talk to Grandma from wherever they are) and set the phone in the corner of the room where they spend the most time.
- Both people start a video chat running as soon as they get home (unless one is already running.)
- Both people give each other a run-down of their work schedules, so they at least have a ballpark idea of when each other will be home.
- Eye contact and constant attentiveness to the communication line is not mandatory or even encouraged. The goal is to have an idea of what it is like to be in each other's presence for extended periods every day, not have hours-long direct conversations... unless that's what they both want to do every day. Some people talk a lot more than others.
- Only stop the video chat when somebody goes to bed.

Of course this won't give a FULL idea of what it's like to live with somebody else. They won't get any experience with her hogging the bathroom or him leaving his dirty socks in the living room floor for the 500th time. But it will give them at least a bit of an idea of what it's like to live with each other. It will give two single people some experience in living in a house where there is always somebody else present, instead of being all alone.

Does he pick his nose absent-mindedly? Does she have post-nasal drip and clear her throat every five minutes? Does he cuss when he gets ticked about something? Can she handle having somebody within earshot all the time or will the strain of "somebody else is in the area" all the time wear her down?

On the flip side, it will also give them some experience in always having a companion who is there to talk if needed, but (hopefully) can do normal life if conversation is not needed.

Comments? Modifications? Suggestions? Criticism? Sometimes when I let my brain wander it comes up with some pretty neat things. Other times it's scary where my brain will blunder into. This time I'm hoping y'all can tell me which this idea is.

It's an interesting idea. But I think that with modern technology couples are already pretty much always available to each other via phone or text and I'm not sure what this would add, since it would be hoped if you're to the point where you are considering marriage you live close enough to be at each other's places often and would do that instead of video chat. Of course if you aren't close enough to do that, then to the transition of marriage you'll probably be adding the transition of one person adjusting to moving to a new town.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#10
And as a follow-up, the Try Before You Buy Divorce Sampler
They call that "being separated" where they are still legally married but live in different houses.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,151
2,185
113
#11
uh, I don't have a phone.
Do you have the capacity to do a video chat like Lynx was talking about? Otherwise it's kind of a moot point for the discussion. Though I'll grant not having a phone probably causes bigger complications than not being able to communicate constantly with a fiancée or prospective fiancée.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#12
uh, I don't have a phone.
I don't know this from experience... but from what I've heard, things can change a lot when you find True Love. She could bat her pretty eyelashes at you and say, "Dear, we really do need a way to stay in touch. What if I need you for something?" and you'll instantly be down at Walmart buying the first cheap TracFone you see.

Mind you, this effect is only hearsay for me. But I've heard that's how True Love melts your brain.
 
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
123
63
Indiana
#13
I don't know this from experience... but from what I've heard, things can change a lot when you find True Love. She could bat her pretty eyelashes at you and say, "Dear, we really do need a way to stay in touch. What if I need you for something?" and you'll instantly be down at Walmart buying the first cheap TracFone you see.

Mind you, this effect is only hearsay for me. But I've heard that's how True Love melts your brain.
my words would be send me an email or come talk to me in person. and #2 I don't go into china-mart I don't support companies who use slave labor.

Do you have the capacity to do a video chat like Lynx was talking about? Otherwise it's kind of a moot point for the discussion. Though I'll grant not having a phone probably causes bigger complications than not being able to communicate constantly with a fiancée or prospective fiancée.
No video stuff, and actually having no phone is best, cell phones are nothing more the government tracking and spying devices along with all the amazon echos google whatevers etc. People who have cell phones and the other things have no right to complain about rights,privacy,security cause they have given away them rights by using said devices.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#14
How about the man just concentrates on being the type of husband who will LAY HIS LIFE DOWN FOR HIS WIFE as Christ laid his life down for the church and the woman just concentrates on being the type of wife who will REVERENCE HER HUSBAND as the church reverences Christ?

Seriously, people need to get over their self-centered selves and live for the Lord.

Hey, you asked...
Not sure what you mean...

I think you and I are talking about two completely different topics.

What I'm talking about is two people using technology to get accustomed to being around each other all the time, without the stress of feeling they are trapped in a situation where they have no other choice. By the time they get married and ARE in that situation, it will take a bit of strain out of adapting to each other.

Basically it's a way to ease the transition from single to married life.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
406
329
63
#15
I would find it boring and annoying to have the person just sit there watching me all the time.

And people tend to dress more comfortable when they are at home, or some dont wear anything at all. Having the camera on means you will have to dress appropriately at all times.

If i have visitors at my house, the person will just be there watching and listening to everthing when the conversation has nothing to do with him. The visitor will find it weird too.

When im praying or talking to God, will the person just be there listening?

If I had a financė who suggested something as what you described, i would seriouly wonder if he is obsessed with me.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#16
Well you'll have to get used to exactly that if you get married... unless you want to ask your spouse to go drive to the store every time you want to do any of those things.

Might as well see if you can get used to it before you say "I do" and get backed into a corner.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
406
329
63
#17
If someone thinks its a good idea to watch their fiancé on camera all the time, then they may as well move in together, and that would be a bad idea.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,083
5,838
113
#18
Who said anything about watching anybody?
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
406
329
63
#19
If there is a camera then someone will be watching or listening. I would have spent enough time with my fiancé in getting to know him, so i dont need him to always be on video as soon as i get home and only turning off camera when im asleep. Thats just obsessive.