What do you wish you knew about dating before your first relationship?
- Thread starter Liamson
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K
That sometimes our preconceived ideas of how a relationship should be and our expectations can hinder relationships from growing or even going anywhere. So basically, just flow with it, don't have any expectations at the start (obviously this changes). Live and learn.
AND
Be honest with yourself- Are you really ready? Can you put someone else first? Trust your instincts.
Don't push something that doesn't feel right just because you like the idea of being with someone.
AND
Be honest with yourself- Are you really ready? Can you put someone else first? Trust your instincts.
Don't push something that doesn't feel right just because you like the idea of being with someone.
+when a man (or anyone) reveals himself to you, it's best to believe him (as opposed to ignoring his words and actions)
+that i would've been so much better off waiting to have sex. that i should've guarded myself with greater earnest. that i deserved to be worth the wait.
+and that regardless of making the mistake of premarital sex, the correction is not to become engaged (or married).
+that the pain of hurting someone else would be so much worse than being hurt by someone.
+i wish i'd known that i had no business being in a relationship, period, until i sorted through some of the issues that i finally dealt with in my late 20s/early 30s. that the pursuit of healing and wholeness should always supersede my desire for a relationship.
+that no relationship is FAR better than a crummy relationship
+that simply avoiding the cautionary tales you've witnessed (or even experienced) in your life isn't enough, i.e. "i never want to be just like ____". you actually have to know what you want, otherwise, you just wander aimlessly without concern as to what you actually need/want.
it's like learning to ride a bike - whatever you try not to focus on will never leave your periphery. you have to replace it with a vision and roadmap.
+no man can make me feel: whole, healthy, worthy, or enough. that's not his job, it's mine. and the solutions is found in God.
+not being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing, full of its own blessings
+that i would've been so much better off waiting to have sex. that i should've guarded myself with greater earnest. that i deserved to be worth the wait.
+and that regardless of making the mistake of premarital sex, the correction is not to become engaged (or married).
+that the pain of hurting someone else would be so much worse than being hurt by someone.
+i wish i'd known that i had no business being in a relationship, period, until i sorted through some of the issues that i finally dealt with in my late 20s/early 30s. that the pursuit of healing and wholeness should always supersede my desire for a relationship.
+that no relationship is FAR better than a crummy relationship
+that simply avoiding the cautionary tales you've witnessed (or even experienced) in your life isn't enough, i.e. "i never want to be just like ____". you actually have to know what you want, otherwise, you just wander aimlessly without concern as to what you actually need/want.
it's like learning to ride a bike - whatever you try not to focus on will never leave your periphery. you have to replace it with a vision and roadmap.
+no man can make me feel: whole, healthy, worthy, or enough. that's not his job, it's mine. and the solutions is found in God.
+not being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing, full of its own blessings
I wish I had known...
You can't fix anyone.
You shouldn't change for anyone.
Just because someone is kind to you, doesn't mean they're interested. It just means they're kind.
Sex and love aren't the same thing.
Don't be such a flirt with him; you're going to do a lot of damage.
Much older does not mean better.
You can't fix anyone.
You shouldn't change for anyone.
Just because someone is kind to you, doesn't mean they're interested. It just means they're kind.
Sex and love aren't the same thing.
Don't be such a flirt with him; you're going to do a lot of damage.
Much older does not mean better.
that almost every girl i knew then was another man's wife,
and the way i know now that the men my wife knew before she met me should have treated her.
guys & gals, treat everyone you aren't yourself going to marry, as though they were the future husband/wife of your best friend. you don't know but that it may turn out one day to be exactly that!
and the way i know now that the men my wife knew before she met me should have treated her.
guys & gals, treat everyone you aren't yourself going to marry, as though they were the future husband/wife of your best friend. you don't know but that it may turn out one day to be exactly that!
The terrible thing is... I look back at my life and even if I would have known what I do now...
I probably still would have done all the same dumb things. I "knew" better, I just didn't believe the reasons I was given or didn't know until I went there myself.
I heard a quote once: "A child doesn't know an oven is hot until she touches it."
In some areas of life, I'm a lot like that. You can tell me the oven is hot. You can tell me I'll get burned. I might even know that for myself. But sometimes... there's a part of me that's hoping the burn will override the numbing sensation than I already have.
It gets to a point where one big searing pain actually sounds more attractive than the mundane, ho-hum little pains of everyday life, because at least a bigger pain reminds you that you can still feel something.
I probably still would have done all the same dumb things. I "knew" better, I just didn't believe the reasons I was given or didn't know until I went there myself.
I heard a quote once: "A child doesn't know an oven is hot until she touches it."
In some areas of life, I'm a lot like that. You can tell me the oven is hot. You can tell me I'll get burned. I might even know that for myself. But sometimes... there's a part of me that's hoping the burn will override the numbing sensation than I already have.
It gets to a point where one big searing pain actually sounds more attractive than the mundane, ho-hum little pains of everyday life, because at least a bigger pain reminds you that you can still feel something.
That´s´is alike any one starts walking! The thing is dating for pleasure and not to learn that was intended to match someone to be married. No regret and no pain, on this side. All that served me to know me better, my likes (people´s like) and what I wanted. My mistake was not being holy, enough, self seeking, hedonist and, at the last, trusting me more than I should have trusted GOD as a matchmaker: He is above all that childish life I led. 
-Every relationship doesn't have to be such a BIG DEAL.
-I should take my time getting to know and appreciate a man for WHO HE IS, not for how well he fits into the husband-shaped role in my life.
-A short relationship doesn't mean it's a failed relationship. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for just a little while.
-God has a plan for my life as an individual, not just as a wife or mom. I matter to God regardless of my relationship status.
-Appreciate people for who they are, not for who I want them to be. (Similar, but not exactly like a previous point.)
-My body is not a possession and cannot be owned or given away. (In the context of belonging to X because I "gave" him my virginity.) I am God's daughter, and I am called to glorify God in every aspect, including my body.
-What God has in store for me is so much better than what I can rebelliously get for myself.
-It's okay to not be perfect.
-There is no sin bigger than God's grace.
-I should take my time getting to know and appreciate a man for WHO HE IS, not for how well he fits into the husband-shaped role in my life.
-A short relationship doesn't mean it's a failed relationship. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for just a little while.
-God has a plan for my life as an individual, not just as a wife or mom. I matter to God regardless of my relationship status.
-Appreciate people for who they are, not for who I want them to be. (Similar, but not exactly like a previous point.)
-My body is not a possession and cannot be owned or given away. (In the context of belonging to X because I "gave" him my virginity.) I am God's daughter, and I am called to glorify God in every aspect, including my body.
-What God has in store for me is so much better than what I can rebelliously get for myself.
-It's okay to not be perfect.
-There is no sin bigger than God's grace.
W
I wish I knew that it would be better to wait till I was older.
I wish I knew how deceptive people can be.
I wish I knew how to guard my heart.
I wish I knew not to blindly trust.
I wish I knew my self confidence should not be based on what someone says.
I wish I knew I didn't have to change who I was.
I wish I knew how to stand up for myself.
I wish I knew I deserved better.
I wish I knew how deceptive people can be.
I wish I knew how to guard my heart.
I wish I knew not to blindly trust.
I wish I knew my self confidence should not be based on what someone says.
I wish I knew I didn't have to change who I was.
I wish I knew how to stand up for myself.
I wish I knew I deserved better.