What Does It Feel Like When You Meet a Goal, and What Happens Next?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,664
1,968
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

How important is goal-setting in your life? What kinds of goals do you make, and do you set both short-term and long-term goals? What purpose do goals have in your life?

I know everyone is different, but for myself, I've found that goal-setting has helped give me a purpose in my single life, I usually try to make both short and long-term goals that have varying levels of achieveability. However, I must confess that on the surface, I suppose my personal goal-setting makes it look like I can at least make some kind of attempt at passing myself off as a responsible adult :), but if I'm 100% honest...

Setting goals has also been a big part of keeping myself distracted from the fact that all these years that are rolling by alone.

When I was in my teens, I had a goal that I set before God and my family, but one of my favorite sayings is that "People make plans, and God laughs." I know that ultimately, it is God who directs our lives (Prov. 3:5,6 -- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct your steps"), and that not everything will turn out the way we plan or hope it to be.

But a few months ago, my family brought it to my attention that the time had come that I had finally met this long-term goal--and to tell you the truth, it was a bit of a shock to my system. I felt a mix of disbelief (and needed reassurance from more knowledgeable members of my family), elation, shock, and, above all--a sense of sheer panic.

The number one thought I've been wrestling with lately is a mix of thankfulness that is overcome by an overwhelming refrain: "OH NO, I have to find another goal to set that will be big enough to keep me from thinking about the fact that I'm still alone, or else I'm going to realize how much time is really passing by and I will fall into despair."

Personally, I have found that the most frustrating thing about setting a goal can be actually meeting it, because then I'm on a mission to replace it with something else that will (hopefully) be even more of a distraction--which has me thinking that I need to ask God about how to properly set goals with the correct motivations in the first place.

What role does goal-setting play in your own life?

* What kinds of goals do you set (if you wish to share)? Do you have separate goals for your education, career, family, and spiritual life?

* How do you feel when you're on your way to achieving a goal? Do you usually have lots of setbacks? Do you give up easily or do you press on?

* What are your motivations for setting goals--self-improvement, competing with others, distraction, boredom, etc.?

* How do you feel, and what happens when you meet a goal? Do you take a step back and rest for a while, or do you immediately jump into planning yet another milestone?

I am also very interested in hearing about goals for family planning. For instance, if you set a goal of having 2 children, what happens after that? What kinds of goals would you make after you had those 2 kids?

I am looking forward to hearing and learning from all your thoughts and experiences. :)
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#2
I haven’t mentioned it in a few replies, but I always enjoy reading your thread topics. They are always thoughtful.

I tend to set more short term goals. I try to have daily goals at least. Those might be something as small as go to the office for work, making sure I stick to my eating plan. I find it easy for me to go off track if I don’t set goals diligently.

I suppose this a sort of self competition - and I am always trying to do or be better, learn more and that sort of thing.

Things get trickier for me in the long term. There are too many variables I don’t know about. I guess I plan, but try to keep the slogan “let go and let God” in mind. For instance, I have a plan to pay off so much debt by a certain date, but I might get laid off before then.

I’m almost done with my degree and had been planning a career around that, but now I don’t know if that is what I am really interested in. So I might keep myself open to other options like getting a graduate degree in something else, find a way to combine coding with another interest, etc.

A lot of things like family don’t seem like something I can plan. I guess I do set goals to prepare myself just in case. Like sorting out my issues in therapy, working on weight loss, finishing school so I can keep along a career path that will allow me to support a family (and pay off debt so I could do that with what I make now).

I was re-reading For Women Only and reflecting on what she says about being a provider. Even if I am not in a relationship, I guess most of my goals are directed at being able to perform that role. I didn’t think of myself that way before reading that book. I have always seen myself as not very traditional, but maybe it is more hard wired than I had thought.
 

Poinsetta

Well-known member
Nov 24, 2018
2,956
1,509
113
#3
God laughs at my plans then by doing His will i find myself walking under the shadow of his wing following Him because he won’t follow MEH. 😬
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,532
1,473
113
Germany
#4
Hey Everyone,

How important is goal-setting in your life? What kinds of goals do you make, and do you set both short-term and long-term goals? What purpose do goals have in your life?

I know everyone is different, but for myself, I've found that goal-setting has helped give me a purpose in my single life, I usually try to make both short and long-term goals that have varying levels of achieveability. However, I must confess that on the surface, I suppose my personal goal-setting makes it look like I can at least make some kind of attempt at passing myself off as a responsible adult :), but if I'm 100% honest...

Setting goals has also been a big part of keeping myself distracted from the fact that all these years that are rolling by alone.

When I was in my teens, I had a goal that I set before God and my family, but one of my favorite sayings is that "People make plans, and God laughs." I know that ultimately, it is God who directs our lives (Prov. 3:5,6 -- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct your steps"), and that not everything will turn out the way we plan or hope it to be.

But a few months ago, my family brought it to my attention that the time had come that I had finally met this long-term goal--and to tell you the truth, it was a bit of a shock to my system. I felt a mix of disbelief (and needed reassurance from more knowledgeable members of my family), elation, shock, and, above all--a sense of sheer panic.

The number one thought I've been wrestling with lately is a mix of thankfulness that is overcome by an overwhelming refrain: "OH NO, I have to find another goal to set that will be big enough to keep me from thinking about the fact that I'm still alone, or else I'm going to realize how much time is really passing by and I will fall into despair."

Personally, I have found that the most frustrating thing about setting a goal can be actually meeting it, because then I'm on a mission to replace it with something else that will (hopefully) be even more of a distraction--which has me thinking that I need to ask God about how to properly set goals with the correct motivations in the first place.

What role does goal-setting play in your own life?

* What kinds of goals do you set (if you wish to share)? Do you have separate goals for your education, career, family, and spiritual life?

* How do you feel when you're on your way to achieving a goal? Do you usually have lots of setbacks? Do you give up easily or do you press on?

* What are your motivations for setting goals--self-improvement, competing with others, distraction, boredom, etc.?

* How do you feel, and what happens when you meet a goal? Do you take a step back and rest for a while, or do you immediately jump into planning yet another milestone?

I am also very interested in hearing about goals for family planning. For instance, if you set a goal of having 2 children, what happens after that? What kinds of goals would you make after you had those 2 kids?

I am looking forward to hearing and learning from all your thoughts and experiences. :)
I put short term goals like I will pass my exams. I put the goal to get a certain job aswell but let all be God willing because I want God to use me in a workplace he has prepared and not something I want out of my own interest.
I also have what I call spontaneous goals that happen with sudden situation. Like someone starting trouble in church or school. I set a spontaneous goal on the outcome I will push and how I will react and present myself.
I get quite a few setbacks but I push it on anyway. Depending on the goal, when reached i take some rest or directly move on. My goals are for growth and peace.
When it comes to family i don't set goals besides i don't want any children in germany. Im not even sure about having kids at all. I only know that if i get preggers I'll keep it and do my best. But theres no goal.
I have the strong goal to see israel and i wanna go evangelize in Africa. Thats goals i want to get done
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,072
1,084
113
#5
Well, I think I make to do lists more than goals. So my goal is to complete my to do lists. Yeah that works. The other thing I've had to remind myself of recently is that if your going to consider yourself a success or failure based on meeting your goals, then set it up so that your goals are something you can control ( like working out x minutes a day or week) rather than something that's not directly in your control ( like losing x pounds a month). Not that you shouldn't pay attention to the things not directly in your control (because if you do want to end up at B then you need to evaluate if what you're doing is getting you any closer), but you shouldn't let those results discourage you from continuing to try. (it made sense in my head).
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,235
1,048
113
#6
Hey Everyone,

How important is goal-setting in your life? What kinds of goals do you make, and do you set both short-term and long-term goals? What purpose do goals have in your life?

I know everyone is different, but for myself, I've found that goal-setting has helped give me a purpose in my single life, I usually try to make both short and long-term goals that have varying levels of achieveability. However, I must confess that on the surface, I suppose my personal goal-setting makes it look like I can at least make some kind of attempt at passing myself off as a responsible adult :), but if I'm 100% honest...

Setting goals has also been a big part of keeping myself distracted from the fact that all these years that are rolling by alone.

When I was in my teens, I had a goal that I set before God and my family, but one of my favorite sayings is that "People make plans, and God laughs." I know that ultimately, it is God who directs our lives (Prov. 3:5,6 -- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will direct your steps"), and that not everything will turn out the way we plan or hope it to be.

But a few months ago, my family brought it to my attention that the time had come that I had finally met this long-term goal--and to tell you the truth, it was a bit of a shock to my system. I felt a mix of disbelief (and needed reassurance from more knowledgeable members of my family), elation, shock, and, above all--a sense of sheer panic.

The number one thought I've been wrestling with lately is a mix of thankfulness that is overcome by an overwhelming refrain: "OH NO, I have to find another goal to set that will be big enough to keep me from thinking about the fact that I'm still alone, or else I'm going to realize how much time is really passing by and I will fall into despair."

Personally, I have found that the most frustrating thing about setting a goal can be actually meeting it, because then I'm on a mission to replace it with something else that will (hopefully) be even more of a distraction--which has me thinking that I need to ask God about how to properly set goals with the correct motivations in the first place.

What role does goal-setting play in your own life?

* What kinds of goals do you set (if you wish to share)? Do you have separate goals for your education, career, family, and spiritual life?

* How do you feel when you're on your way to achieving a goal? Do you usually have lots of setbacks? Do you give up easily or do you press on?

* What are your motivations for setting goals--self-improvement, competing with others, distraction, boredom, etc.?

* How do you feel, and what happens when you meet a goal? Do you take a step back and rest for a while, or do you immediately jump into planning yet another milestone?

I am also very interested in hearing about goals for family planning. For instance, if you set a goal of having 2 children, what happens after that? What kinds of goals would you make after you had those 2 kids?

I am looking forward to hearing and learning from all your thoughts and experiences. :)
Awesome...
Having short and long term Goals are huge toward providing a sense of fulfillment...
Having goals can be helpful toward challenging yourself in exploring your personal sense of commitment and determination.
Important life goals will likely challenge you to test your willful perseverance and willingness to make sacrifices in order to create conditions and a path toward achieving those goals.

My high school English teacher asked her class to write down ONE WORD to describe what her students wanted to be on a piece of paper for group discussion... My answer was "Successful" - which was more about being successul at achieving my life's goals than it was upon any sort of fixation upon wealth, or status...

Ironically, my life-long goal was to become the best family man I could possibly become - to include being the spiritual leader and example for my kids...
Life's near-term and long-term goals over time are typically relative to your different phases in life...

My College four-year plan (civil engineering) was more about making the requisite sacrifices with the requisite education to earn my commission as an Officer of Marines; studying something with math and science just happened to make it a bit more interesting, feasible, and useful (toward my masters 10 years later). I've never worked in that field of study...

My 20 year career plan in the USMC was a necessary sacrifice - that I happened to love, I was good at it, and they were willing to pay me to have fun - but it was ultimately a necessary and convenient means to enable the level of stability that I needed to enable and achieve my goal as a good family man...

"Failure to plan - is planning to Fail."
While 2.5 kids would have been perfect as it was the norm for the average happy family - we agreed upon three...
Planned for two boys and a girl - did some research - and waloa - got two boys and a girl... They're her protectors, and she's like their mini-momma-bear...
"Failure to plan - is planning to Fail"...
The plan was to have kids three years apart: near-term benefit was not to have two in diapers at the same time; mid-term objective was to ensure they were close enough in age to become playmates and best friends; long term goal was to ensure no more than two kids in college at the same time... Best laid plans... Oldest is in his 6th year of college...

Success will be when all kids are able to FLY and no longer require dad's financial support; that they are all able to be happy in a life-long marriage; and excited to plan reunions to come home and visit their old man...

Personal long-term goal is that once all the dust settles from this current turbulent phase, and college is all paid off is to find out what I want to do with the rest of my life - where a genuine goal is to begin to live life and embrace life and pray that the lord will bless me with the opportunity to enjoy the magnificence of his blessing and creation with someone special who is also seeking to share the rest of life's brilliance with a loving companion...
This is another one of your DEEP TOPICS that are inherently RICH with details - not sure I should bore everyone with my entire story...
Maybe CC should look into an annual coffee meetup or reunion or christian fellowship seminar with focused discussions and topic groups - so that we can expand some of these form discussions into seminar style discussions and learn a little more about our christian friends...
 

Poinsetta

Well-known member
Nov 24, 2018
2,956
1,509
113
#7
Just don’t graduate life until Jesus gets here. It shouldn’t be a plan.