What does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
23,678
3,351
113
#1
What does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

It's come to my attention that wanting to do anything for someone is infatuation, not love... So what does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

How much should you be willing to do for that person before it becomes infatuation?

Is love just an intense friendship? Or is it more than that? What's the difference? Where's the dividing line?

NOTE: this is about being "In Love" .... not just loving someone like in 1 corinthians 13.

I feel like I'm channeling my inner Seoulsearch here.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
16,958
4,148
113
#3
I do know it's really hard to figure out.



Even the identity matrix doesn't work normally...
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
6,587
6,318
113
#4
What does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

It's come to my attention that wanting to do anything for someone is infatuation, not love... So what does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

How much should you be willing to do for that person before it becomes infatuation?

Is love just an intense friendship? Or is it more than that? What's the difference? Where's the dividing line?

NOTE: this is about being "In Love" .... not just loving someone like in 1 corinthians 13.

I feel like I'm channeling my inner Seoulsearch here.
It's similar to loving Jesus in that u think about, want to b around, and adore the other person all the time. Only we always put God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit first as we worship them not our mate.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,581
1,664
113
#6
I rather agree with you zero. In fact I find the phrase "in love" so ambiguous that I won't use it and any poor guy who uses it on me should probably brace for a cross examination about what he actually means.

But if I were to try to imagine putting into words the feelings and desires that most people might sum up as "in love", it would probably be a phrase that takes on a whole range of meanings over the life of a relationship:
I'm fascinated by the little I know of you almost to the point of obsession and all I want is to get to know you.
It seems like the more I learn about you the more wonderful you are.
I'd rather have and keep you in my life than be without you, regardless of what that costs me.
You are my greatest support and champion, without you I wouldn't have what it takes to live my life.
You're so much a part of my life that I can't conceive of my life without you.
We may soon be parted, but I'm sticking right with you through every moment because if this is the end, I don't want to miss a moment of what we have left together.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,197
6,768
113
#8
What does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

It's come to my attention that wanting to do anything for someone is infatuation, not love... So what does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

How much should you be willing to do for that person before it becomes infatuation?

Is love just an intense friendship? Or is it more than that? What's the difference? Where's the dividing line?

NOTE: this is about being "In Love" .... not just loving someone like in 1 corinthians 13.

I feel like I'm channeling my inner Seoulsearch here.
I think we all need to reach for that sacrificial, unyielding, unconditional, selfless agape kind of love in all our relationships. That kind of love should be our core, who we are, because we are His. We should have a the heart of a servant. Do we love as we are called, can we, do we want to, are we susceptible to establishing an unbalanced giving and no return? Hmmm, I would say, nope we don't, not even close, but we should, and want to as well; regardless the return, we should give our all. This is why it is essential to pick a mate with the same invested values, Christ centered ones. I think all relationships should include the friendship core. A genuine invested interest in one another, wanting the best for each other, thinking the best of eachother; a basic and mutual desire to spend time together is also a part of friendship, that should be in every healthy enduring relationship. A marriage is more commitment, more intimacy, more investment, more friendship. I have ideas about love but think it takes a whole lot of acceptance, realizing unmet expectations = disappointment and unfair to other possible outcomes, and to appreciating reality. I think we need to keep trying to love with all we have, and we have Him so we are blessed with much love to give. No matter what, forgiving ourselves and our loves as we will all fall short is probably the most sacred part of love.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,704
2,974
113
#9
Hi Zero,

Thanks for the nod--I feel like a virus that's creeping into every sector of the Singles forum :D (totally kidding! I know what you meant! :))

I really think CharliRenee really hit the nail on the head with her focus on sacrificial love.

The older I get, as much as I would love to experience romantic "love" that's full of rainbows and butterflies, I believe that God is coaxing me (just from my own perspective, I can't speak for anyone else) to think about what I would be willing to go through for love rather than what feelings or self-affirmation I could get from it.

I was talking to my Mom about how we are the "Sandwich Generation"--caught between both raising children/the younger generation AND caring for aging parents. Many of us long to find relief in the safety of a marriage that would hopefully give us all those warm fuzzy feelings.

But I often wonder just how long they would actually last. I'm not trying to sound like Ms. Doom-and-Gloom, but some of the challenges of the past few years have made me think of marriage much differently than when I was younger.

For instance, what if it got to a point where your spouse no longer remembered who you were and treated you like a an unwelcome stranger, even though you had to care for them like a child?

Long story short--a family friend knew of a situation in which the wife had Alzheimer's and no longer recognized her husband. Her husband , overwhelmed with feeding, changing, and dressing her, hired a full-time female caretaker for his wife. During the process of caring for his wife together, the husband, starved for any kind of affirmation or even recognition, fell in love with the caretaker, and the two were carrying on a relationship while both caring for his wife together.

It's easy to judge from the outside. But it's harder to think about being the one in that situation. Another tough reality I seem to be reminded of lately is that disabilities due to memory loss seem to be happening at younger and younger ages. While scouting out a possible future care facility for relatives, we briefly said hi to a couple who was only around 50 years old and yet one of them had memory loss to the point where they couldn't leave the unit alone.

I also think about my own parents caring for me at various points throughout my life. I had something happen last spring in which I was knocked off my feet for a bit but my parents still faithfully looked after me, even as a grown adult, and for a brief instant, I felt 5 years old again--safe, protected, and as if I had nothing in the world to worry about. My Mom didn't care how sick I got or that I needed help walking--all she cared about was being there when I needed her and helping me get better.

To me, this is love. When we talk about thinking of someone all the time and wanting to do things for them because we love them, I also think about things such as:

* Am I strong enough to be there if the person gets sick? (If that person is vomiting constantly and has to wear a diaper, am I willing to clean up the messes?)

* Would I be able to stand by someone who couldn't remember who I was, even if it was for the rest of my life?

* Would that person be willing and able to do the same for me?

I guess it's a side effect of getting a little older--after seeing the people around me juggling a circus of issues, now when I think about wedding vows, my mind emphasizes the "IN SICKNESS" part more than the "IN HEALTH".

I honestly have to ask myself, "If push comes to shove--and life usually shoves with both hands and feet--am I able to meet that level of giving?"

Maybe God doesn't think I'm ready yet... and maybe that's why I'm still single.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,499
809
113
#10
To explain it in an abstract sort of way is; we all have a picture in our head what a happy life is supposed to look like. For some it’s a family with weekends at the cottage, others it’s a million dollar business and skiing in the Swiss Alps (and so on). This mental image is a puzzle, with pieces that someone else possesses in order to complete. When you find that individual and all of the pieces match up, the picture takes form and the feeling of completeness and accomplishment follows. Love is not the feeling. That feeling is attraction and connectivity, feeling “in love”. Love is the adhesive you apply keeping the picture together.
 

EmilyFoster

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2018
1,340
1,093
113
#11
Love is a sweet sacrifice, a relationship beyond beauty, just doing stuff or being around. It’s a soul connection which is very deep and satisfying just like the love of Christ.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,455
6,523
113
#12
Once upon a time I was in love with a guy. It was the first and last time I had ever been in love. It was wonderful, especially having the feeling of being loved back by him.

It meant for me at the time that I was loved and taken care of.

It meant that, everytime he’d look at me, or I at him, no words were needed - only the presence of warmth and acceptance.

It meant that I’d love him regardless of his flaws or mine.

It meant that we could be goofy and serious around eachother if we wanted to.

It meant respect, commitment and loyalty.

It meant, love.
 

Sonflower

Senior Member
Jan 30, 2016
849
147
43
#13
Love is an action. Love is giving to that person expecting nothing in return. Love is choosing to stay when you don't feel like it anymore. Love is placing that person above yourself, not because of gushy feelings but because you choose them. Love takes discipline. Love is sacrificial. Love is so much more meaningful than the fuzzy feelings we have at the start.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,162
845
113
21
#14
Love is an action. Love is giving to that person expecting nothing in return. Love is choosing to stay when you don't feel like it anymore. Love is placing that person above yourself, not because of gushy feelings but because you choose them. Love takes discipline. Love is sacrificial. Love is so much more meaningful than the fuzzy feelings we have at the start.
What sunny said but I'd add that it is always accompanied by emotion. If i love you but i never feel anything towards you i don't love you. Now you might not always have strong emotions towards that person but if they are never there you ain't lovin nothin. ONCE AGAIN ILL USE VODFIE BAUCHEMS DEFINITION ahem " an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, on behalf of it's object" i think that's what he said lol.
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#15
I am not sure if I understood the question :rolleyes: but for me when I hear the word/s "in love" I am like :giggle: I want to spend my life with him for the rest of my life through bad times and good times and I don't want any other man but him.

My love won't change but it will only grow more and more everyday. I am happy with him even even when he is grumpy or too difficult too handle ;) and when he is happy I am more than happy. ...if he is sad I am more than sad :( I want nothing but the best of the best for him.

I will take care of him and will always forgive him. I will pray for him always to be safe and to be healthy.

In my eyes, he will be the most handsome man :love:
If evahhh we will get stranded in an island without anything to help us survive and a help came (but no more help after) but we can't be rescued both..I'll be happy to let him be rescued first(I've watched too much love stories/drama :giggle:) but if this will going to happen in real life I would not hesitate to do that. ❤
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
879
113
#16
What does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

It's come to my attention that wanting to do anything for someone is infatuation, not love... So what does it mean when you say you're "in love" with someone?

How much should you be willing to do for that person before it becomes infatuation?

Is love just an intense friendship? Or is it more than that? What's the difference? Where's the dividing line?

NOTE: this is about being "In Love" .... not just loving someone like in 1 corinthians 13.

I feel like I'm channeling my inner Seoulsearch here.
Have you never been in love before? With me ,each was different.. Because. ( I think mostly because of my religion) I could'nt justify sex without love...
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,752
1,769
113
Germany
#18
If u are willing to give a imperfect person your heart and they seem perfect in ur eyes, thata being in love
 
T

toinena

Guest
#19
In love means a temporary insanity. You can't see a flaw in the person, you stop existing for yourself and you just want to be with that person, think of that person, talk about that person....

If the person you are in love with are in love with you, it is just the most thrilling experience.

When you meet the love of your life, the one that is an answer to all your prayers and he thinks the same. Then you fall in love again and again and again and every time it is deeper and more beautiful. And when you think you can't feel more, it just intensifies.

When you see that you are willing to put action to the sentiment, it is love. When you are willing to move to another continent from a perfectly good life just to be with her. That is love. You are not blind anymore. You see the flaws. And still you want that person and ache for that person.

I love falling in love. And I love the fact that I will never need to or will fall in love with another man ever again.