What Things About a Dating Profile/PM Would Make You Want to Reply?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,323
3,516
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#1
Hey Everyone,

It's been several years since I've been on dating sites, but I know one thing they all have in common is the enormous deluge of other profiles that make you feel like you have to make yourself sound "interesting" enough to talk to. Now of course, pictures are usually what get the most attention, but aside from that, what would grab your interest when reading a profile or PM?

I know one thing that I used to pass by were profiles that seemed to say, "Here I am, here's what I want, here's what you can do for me, and here's how I expect you to fulfill my never-endng list of specific needs and wants." This inspired me to try to include at least a few things in my dating profile that I thought I could offer another person, as well as saying that, "Knowing that God calls a wife to be a helpmate, I am looking for the one I would be happy serving for the rest of my life." And of course, I was looking for someone who would be happy with mutually serving and giving to someone else, rather than just taking.

As far as PM's went, I had some things in my profile that were seen as highly undesirable (the fact that I was divorced, for example) and cut way down on the number of contacts I received, which I understood. However, if I did receive a reply, I have to confess that I was always a bit disheartened by cookie cutter PM's that were obviously cut, pasted, and sent out to hundreds of other candidates as well. I never used to answer those, but then I read several posts by men who expressed their frustration at the fact that they might send out 200 hundred messages and never even receive a single reply. I guess I have mixed feelings about that, because on one hand, who has time to write 200 hand-crafted, individualized messages, but on the other hand, who wants to feel like fish caught in a dragnet that's been hauled across the bottom of an ocean of other profiles?

But, I can definitely understand these feelings of discouragement, and would now go more by the person's profile rather than an initial generic PM.

How about the rest of you? What stands out to you when you read a profile or PM?

It doesn't have to be on a dating site, either--it could just as easily be here on good old CC or any other site.

* In a sea of other profiles, what would make a particular profile stand out and convince you to get to know the author a little better?

* With so many thousands of other members to choose to get to know, what would you put in your profile that you believe might stand out, even if it's just to meet new friends here on CC?
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,804
1,871
113
Germany
#2
Maybe a profile with a video of hot chocolate-you sexy thing
Lol
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,210
6,784
113
#3
Sooooo glad to see you and your thread!!! Sit's tapping toes, waiting to read the responses. It's been so long since I went on a date, years I tell ya. Bless my heart, lol. I imagine before even considering, I'd want to see His faith written all over His profile. And it would be nice knowing, if reaching out to me that my profile was actually read.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,323
3,516
113
#5
Maybe a profile with a video of hot chocolate-you sexy thing
Lol
Hmm.

And now Demi has me thinking that a profile picture with a pile of wrapped, uneaten chocolate bars and a note saying, "These are all for you"... just might get a lot of attention.

Of course, the next (and most pressing) questions would be which brands and what kind of chocolate. :unsure:
 

Ellorah

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2019
436
677
93
28
South Carolina
#6
I would notice a profile of a guy who's written words matches his photos. Honest, genuine and smiling ! No grumpy mugs. If you write that you are about faith and family how about a nice photo of you in a family type setting. Or with your favorite bible. If every photo looks as if you stepped out of a bar I would probably step on by. Just my thoughts.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#7
I’ve never used a dating site.

But it would be someone who instead of promoting themselves and saying what a great guy I am. Was willing to talk themselves down and not take themselves too seriously.


Something along the lines of this if I was promoting my own profile.

I’m terrible at maths but I think 1 + 1
could make 2.

At 50 I’m probably past it but hey, God loves a trier and I can be very trying.

If you’r looking for an oil painting then that’s me. I’m old looking and brownish in colour too!

God’s loves me even though no one else does. If you do then you would be a first!
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#8
I only go on dating sites when I need to feel bad about myself. 😝

The profiles that send me running the other way are the ones with a list of demands, or the ones that show they have major issues with men they need to work out. I am also put off by focus on kids too much in profile. Like their whole identity is a single mom.

Oh, and mentioning drama at all is a red flag. 😛. I don’t think I have ever heard a phrase like “I don’t want any drama in my life” from someone that didn’t seem to be swimming in it.

I usually like profiles that just tell me about the person. Profiles that demonstrate intelligence and a sense of humor are the best.

I say all this never having gone through making one. I don’t have a clue what I would say about myself.
 

Ellorah

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2019
436
677
93
28
South Carolina
#9
I only go on dating sites when I need to feel bad about myself. 😝

The profiles that send me running the other way are the ones with a list of demands, or the ones that show they have major issues with men they need to work out. I am also put off by focus on kids too much in profile. Like their whole identity is a single mom.

Oh, and mentioning drama at all is a red flag. 😛. I don’t think I have ever heard a phrase like “I don’t want any drama in my life” from someone that didn’t seem to be swimming in it.

I usually like profiles that just tell me about the person. Profiles that demonstrate intelligence and a sense of humor are the best.

I say all this never having gone through making one. I don’t have a clue what I would say about myself.


Yup I think if drama is mentioned or every sentence ends in 10 exclamation marks run !
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,454
1,129
113
#10
I only go on dating sites when I need to feel bad about myself. 😝

The profiles that send me running the other way are the ones with a list of demands, or the ones that show they have major issues with men they need to work out. I am also put off by focus on kids too much in profile. Like their whole identity is a single mom.

Oh, and mentioning drama at all is a red flag. 😛. I don’t think I have ever heard a phrase like “I don’t want any drama in my life” from someone that didn’t seem to be swimming in it.

I usually like profiles that just tell me about the person. Profiles that demonstrate intelligence and a sense of humor are the best.

I say all this never having gone through making one. I don’t have a clue what I would say about myself.
A lot of profiles I see mention "make me laugh". That phrase (or similar) is WAY overused.

I have a sense of humor, and I enjoy making others laugh. However, I don't want to be a woman's sole source of entertainment.

Like Bob Dylan said, "you shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you".

:cool:
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
1,374
981
113
47
#11
Honesty, and humor........ And don't be hella snobby, and don't let em know ur hella old........ hahahahahahahahaha
been just a waitin to interject with a hella comment!
Hahahahaha...........
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
18,943
10,452
113
#12
When I was looking...

Evidence of intelligence, values properly sorted, and a right understanding of Christianity

I can think of several things I've seen on dating-site profiles that would make me not want to respond... but I don't want to derail this thread.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
18,168
4,877
113
#13
Kim, Kim, Kim... If I didn't know any better I would suspect this thread was market research in preparation for starting yourself a new dating site profile.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,323
3,516
113
#14
Kim, Kim, Kim... If I didn't know any better I would suspect this thread was market research in preparation for starting yourself a new dating site profile.
I'll definitely have to put this on my list of "Do Not Respond To the Following..." -- people who see right through me and smash my cover stories to smithereens. :whistle:
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,720
725
113
50
#15
I definitely look for similarities. Christian, age, been married before?, kids?, Interests, signs of intelligence in their wording and creativity, sense of humor. That's enough to interest me into talking to them.
A profile shouldn't sound like a resume', but it would be a green flag if he has a job.
 
S

selfdissolving

Guest
#16
One of my biggest turn offs in online dating is massive amounts of cleavage in profile pics.

I'll usually just skip right over those.
 
S

selfdissolving

Guest
#17
Honesty, and humor........ And don't be hella snobby, and don't let em know ur hella old........ hahahahahahahahaha
been just a waitin to interject with a hella comment!
Hahahahaha...........
BEWARE OF SPEAKING THE WORD WHICH MUST NOT BE UTTERED!!!!! USE EXTREME CAUTION!!!
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
8,007
7,502
113
#18
Many people meet online that I know and on some tv shows I watch. I'd say it's a matter of chemistry ,after the red tape part has been completed, like asking if their pic is a current one.
 

Poinsetta

Well-known member
Nov 24, 2018
7,908
5,065
113
#19
Many people meet online that I know and on some tv shows I watch. I'd say it's a matter of chemistry ,after the red tape part has been completed, like asking if their pic is a current one.
Hahaahah my pic is not a current one just a few years ago. But is the thought that counts.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
8,007
7,502
113
#20
That's good, I've heard of some that post pics 20 yrs younger than they are, not such a good idea...lol.